Level Lateness; "L" of a Parrot; Blow up Bovines; and How not to cure Vertigo.

Piss poor day at the Castle this morn, even more skywater, less atmospheric movement, even less lack of cold and sod all solar stuff.

Just returned from the stale bread substitute, gruel and his Maj's food run dahn Tesco, prices are still yo-yoing faster than the Millionaires Club Sideboard changes what is laughingly called its mind, the internet robots seem to have been cloned into many, many arseholes, and they still only have two tills working.

The good news is that the plums have now returned to "normal", I can now sit and even cross my legs, walk loads of yardy things and have a lot more energy, the old blood sugar levels have gorn dahn to around 4.5 and stayed there for quite a few days.

 

Dahn in Zommerzet

After almost forty days of wet stuff the Gov has finally got orf its collective arse and is allegedly going to send what is left of  the army (all seven of them) to "sort out" the floods by sending in amphibious vehicles.

Oh joy, let's hope they are not the same as the ones in London...

 

Up Norf to the left hand part of Yorkshire

 

Apparently a learner driver has had her motor seized by the plod after being caught driving on the M62 accompanied only by a parrot.

The woman, in her 50s, was pulled over on suspicion of speeding near junction 22 of the M62 in West Yorkshire on Sunday morning but officers discovered she only had a provisional licence.

Provisional licence holders are banned from driving on motorways and are only allowed to drive at all when accompanied by a qualified driver.

Apart from the driver herself, the only passenger found by police when they stopped the 4x4 around 8.45am on Sunday morning was a grey parrot.

A spokesman for West Yorkshire Police said the vehicle had been confiscated and the driver is expected to be charged with motor offences including speeding at a later date.

 

What a knob head...she should have made sure Polly had a full licence....

 

Right a whimsy to the land of comatose F1 drivers

 

A herd of dairy cows nearly lifted the roof off their barn in central Germany when methane released by the animals caused an explosion.

Police in Hesse state said in a statement that a static electric charge apparently triggered the detonation, and a spurt of flame, on Monday at a farm in Rasdorf.

The roof was slightly damaged and one cow suffered light burns - no-one was hurt. 

Police say 90 cows are kept in the shed and it wasn't clear why quantities of methane had built up.

Bovine belching and flatulence releases large quantities of the gas.

 

Right a bit more

 

A video has been posted online of a woman trying to cure her fear of heights by walking around the top of a 110m chimney stack.

The 37 second clip, shot in Prague, Czech Republic, shows the woman walking along with a man in strong winds.

It has notched up more than 163,000 hits on LiveLeak where it was described as a "cure for acrophobia".

One confused viewer commented: "How would this help someone with their fear of spiders?"

 

Nah.......

 

That's it: I'm orf to Test out a "Monopole" (And no that isn't a single man from Poland).

 

And today's thought:

 

Stay at home then.

 

Angus

THE WEEK THAT SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN

It’s hasn’t been what you would call a “good news” week, has it?

BBC NEWS

Four dead Marines that should never have been there in the first place, how many more people have to die for somebody elses' inability to control their own country?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7616301.stm

Take a look at the page, makes you think.

Half of the bloody country is flooded……..again!

“Red Ken” telling us that the police officer in charge when Jean Charles de Menezes was shot dead, a certain Ms Dick-(in name and nature) that she was destined for the post of Commissioner.

That, Mr Livingstone is one of the reasons you are no longer Mayor.


The German Finance Minister Peer Steinbrueck is not very happy about Gordon Brown Trousers efforts to “fix” the broken economy.


Join the firkin club pal, but you’ll have to get in line.

The people of Greece have had enough of their Government, I know how they feel.

The government of the Republic of Ireland have done a U turn over the Lisbon Treaty, and are thinking of holding a second referendum, but only as long as the EU agrees to certain conditions-from the “No Voters”- abortion, Irish neutrality and taxation.

Stuff the rest of us then.


Oh yes GBT had a psychotic episode during question time, telling us all that he had “saved the world”.

It must be nice to be like that.


And the other psychotic-Mugabe told the world (that GBT had saved) that the Cholera epidemic was over and that the UK was responsible for the outbreak in the first place.

What can you say, lunatic, homicidal maniac, with psychosis tells us that, he MUST be right.



And the Uber-Shrimp Purnell told us that the “new benefit deal” was “fair” and every one will have a job and it will be wonderful here in FIRKIN DISNEY LAND.

Pillock.


The Gov is asking the Energy Companies nicely if they wouldn’t mind lowering their prices-BBC NEWS

That’s really masterful of them isn’t it? No wonder they are in charge of the country, sorry it should have read-NO! Wonder (If) they are in charge of the country?



And now for the good news this week.

The English cricket team is doing "quite well" in the first test, Idon't want to say anymore just in case.

I have managed to completely ignore the "X Factor" from start to finish, don't know who won-don't care. It should be just that "EX".

And I have also managed to ignore the "Dancing" thing on BBC1. Is it still going?

Well that's good news for me anyway.

And finally, a name to conjour with, and yes, I know you can't help your name but. I was watching "Have I Got a Bit More News" last night and this man was mentioned in the "odd one out" round.

Randy Bumgardener.

Priceless!

That’s it


Angus