Sexy flossing: Big wombat: Grassroots loonies: Rewarding the “non performers”: A story with a moral: Pissed orf in Paignton: Chilean rats: and Attenborough’s head.

An “interesting” start to the day at the Castle this morn, after yesterday’s downpours it is sunny, damp, warm and very muggy, the study is still overflowing with non computers, the hip is still making me hop and his Maj has brought me a “present”

Not really, it is a toy I purchased for him and he carries it everywhere.

I see that Women who want the best chance of having a baby should make sure they floss their teeth regularly, say doctors.

According to the “experts” poor oral health is as bad for fertility as obesity - delaying conception by about two months.

Odd that, I always thought sex was the best way.....

And Dahn Unda

Scientists have found the skeleton of a "giant wombat" which lived some two million years ago.

The plant-eating marsupial would have been the size of a four-wheel drive car and weighed three tonnes, experts say.

Its bones were found on a farm in north-eastern Australia's Queensland state.

The find is one of Australia's most significant pre-historic discoveries ever because the skeleton is complete, experts say.

It is the first time a complete skeleton of a Diprotodon optatum has been uncovered. 

You wouldn’t want that taking a dump in the flower beds.....

Up in La-La land (otherwise known as Conservative headquarters).

Allegedly Boris Johnson is the favourite among Conservative grassroots activists to succeed David Cameron as party leader, a survey has found.

The Mayor of London, who will seek a second term next May, is favoured by 57 per cent and the Chancellor George Osborne was preferred by 43 per cent.

Tim Montgomerie, editor of the ConservativeHome website which carried out the poll, said: "Boris has recently been putting lots of clear blue water between him and the Cameron Government and the Tory grassroots clearly like what they see."

Mr Osborne is viewed as the most impressive Cabinet performer, followed by the Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Duncan Smith; the Education Secretary, Michael Gove; the Foreign Secretary, William Hague, and the Home Secretary, Theresa May.

He, he, he, LOL!!!

It has been said

That a civil servant “who wasn’t performing” was given a £100,000 pay off, according to Cabinet Office Minister Francis Maude.

In a speech to hundreds of civil servants, Mr Maude criticised the “madness” of rewarding poor performance in Whitehall and said it had to stop.

He also disclosed that he was planning to force tens of thousands of civil servants to move out of Whitehall in central London to save money.

Mr Maude told civil servants at the Civil Service Live exhibition in central London: “I was told the other day that HM Government has paid more than £100,000 to get rid of someone who wasn’t performing. This is madness. 

You think?

Over to the land of organ donors

New York State’s helmet law crashed, struck his head on the roadway and died from his injuries, state police said on Sunday.

Philip Contos, 55, was riding among a large group of motorcyclists staging an organized protest ride in western New York near Syracuse against the state law requiring all motorcyclists to wear helmets.

The Parish, New York, resident crashed on Saturday on Route 11 in Onondaga, New York, and was pronounced dead later at a local hospital, state Trooper Robert Jureller said.

"The doctor felt that the death could have been prevented if he simply had been wearing a helmet," Jureller said. "He hit the brakes, lost control, was ejected and struck his head on the road. He suffered a skull fracture."

 And the moral is........

Dahn in Devon

A knife-wielding robber fled a Devon shop empty-handed after the 68-year-old owner told him to "use the knife or p*** off".

Brian Hammond was confronted by the hood-wearing man with a six-inch knife who demanded all the money from the till.

But the robber got more than he bargained for when the feisty owner picked up a screwdriver and faced him down, reports The Mirror.

Mr Hammond, who has run the newsagents in Paignton, Devon, for 15 years, said he was not prepared to meekly hand over his hard-earned money.

"I came out of the store room and he was standing there with the knife. He demanded money from the till. I thought he was joking until he came around behind me and I knew he was serious," Mr Hammond said today.

"I picked up the screwdriver, which was on the counter and told him 'either use your knife or piss off'. To my surprise, he did."

Two years ago he chased two thieves out of the store and into the street after they targeted his shop.

He said the police had warned him on that occasion that he risked facing assault charges if he had caught them.

 One up for us.

Left to the cold place in South America

A restaurant in Chile has is serving fried rat with potatoes as one of its main courses.

It is a traditional dish in parts of neighbouring Peru but has shocked diners in Santiago, says Las Ultimas Noticias.

Marco Barandarian, the Peruvian chef of the Barandarian restaurant, said: "Here people get all disgusted and ask how we can serve such dish but we have eaten them forever in Peru."

Mr Barandarian added: "The meat is red and tastes much better than rabbit. It is like pork and we serve the whole rat, head included."

 Yum, yum, don’t tell his Maj.....

 And finally:

Up in the Smoke

The mystery of one of London's most gruesome murders has finally been solved after a coroner today ruled that a skull discovered in David Attenborough's garden was that of Julia Martha Thomas.

The discovery was made in October last year when the Planet Earth star was excavating an old pub in the garden of his Richmond home - less than 100 yards from where Mrs Thomas was murdered, chopped up and boiled by her housekeeper.

Callous Kate Webster pushed her twice-widowed employer down the stairs, strangled her and chopped her body up and boiled it and giving the dripping to local kids to eat.

Days after the slaying a box was found in the Thames by a coal man containing a 'mass of white flesh' and Mrs Thomas' foot was found on an allotment in Richmond while Webster stole the identity of her employer and even her false teeth.

But it is not until now, more than a century after the murder in 1879 and Wesbster's hanging that the head of the strict Presbyterian will finally be given a proper burial.

Bet Richard is a bit envious.

 That’s it: I’m orf to stock up on fat teenagers. 

And today’s thought: The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.

Angus

Gord help us; Ed’s priority; Odd ASBO; Rat diners; Old Cheese; and Towed away.

Dark, damp and dozy this morn, still not sure about the New Site not many “widgets” available and there seems to be a problem with band width, it takes a long time to save sometimes.

But the worst thing is that there is no way to have my Blog list of all the blogs I follow, and I know what a pain it is for readers to change their follow lists to the new address.







And talking of pains I see that Gord has managed to find a way to cut public spending by £12 Billion over the next four years.

After what seems like a lifetime of labour, although it has only been 12 years or so, why is it that ‘prudent’ Gord suddenly finds all this money in savings?

There has been no trimming down of the bloated Government admin creep for over a decade and suddenly it has all become clear to him, it couldn’t be that his first election is coming up can it?










And of course Ed Miliband, one half of the cloned twins has decided that “action on global warming should be a priority”, despite the fact that he isn’t helping much and again after a decade or so of the suspicion that climate change is happening it is suddenly “a priority”, election creep again?

Laugh, I could get nicked

From North of Hadrian’s wall: Stuart Hunt, 46, was charged for allegedly laughing at the teenage daughter of the couple he has had a dispute with for six years.

He claims that the 15-year-old was dancing in the street as he drove past after dropping his two children at school.

Mr Hunt insists that all he did was smile, shake his head and laugh, but that may be enough to land him in court, accused of breaching one of the most unusual Asbos imposed in Scotland.

The interim court order, granted in 2007, imposed a series of restrictions on Mr Hunt, whose dispute with his neighbours Stuart and Shirley Latham dates from a row over speed bumps he placed on the access road they share.

The order prevents him from laughing at people, staring at anyone or slowly clapping his hands at the actions of others.

He is also banned from waving objects at people and adopting a menacing stance.

Mr Hunt, from Drumnadrochit on the banks of Loch Ness, said he was being “systematically criminalised”, adding: “There must be terrorist suspects who have more human rights than I've got here.

“Two police officers turned up at my house and charged me with breaching the Asbo by laughing at the neighbours' daughter. They charged me with laughing specifically, and only with laughing. I couldn't believe it. It's absolutely absurd.

He’s bleedin lucky he can find something to laugh about.

You want sauce with that?

Two stars of the reality TV show "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here" have been charged with animal cruelty after allegedly killing and cooking a rat to eat during filming.

Chef Gino D'Acampo who won the viewer-feedback contest series and actor Stuart Manning were charged after animal welfare activists lodged a complaint about a segment for the British TV program, which was filmed in Australia, the activists and British media reported Sunday.

In a statement to The Associated Press, New South Wales state police said Sunday that two men, aged 33 and 30, were charged with animal cruelty for acts in connection to the program but did not give names or other details.

They have been asked to appear in court to face the charge Feb. 3. The maximum penalty is three years in prison.

D'Acampo is 33 years old and Manning 30.

The show's producer, ITV, confirmed in a statement that "the New South Wales RSPCA is currently looking into an incident in which a rat was killed in the camp."

"The killing of a rat for a performance is not acceptable. The concern is this was done purely for the cameras," David O'Shannessy of the New South Wales RSPCA told the British Broadcasting Corp.

He said producers were normally required to have animal welfare officers on set when animals were used during filming, but in this case it did not take place.

"I'm a Celebrity" strands C-list celebrities in the Australian jungle, subjects them to a series of icky trials involving spiders and snakes, and allows the public to vote them off the show one by one.
Can we have a programme for MPs, maybe it could be called ‘I’m an MP leave me here for ever.’

Cheddar Gorge

From over the briny: A 15-year-old cheddar made in Wisconsin, possibly the most mature cheese for sale in the country, is selling well despite the $50-per-pound price tag, its producer said Saturday.


Hook's 15-year Sharp Cheddar, produced in 1994, went up for sale in a handful of outlets on Friday and has proven popular, said cheese maker Tony Hook.

"It started moving a lot faster than we expected," said Hook, 57, who - along with his wife and brother - runs Hook's Cheese Co in Mineral Point, Wisconsin. "People have been so excited about it."

The cheddar began as part of a gigantic batch that weighed 5,200 pounds. The Hooks let much of the batch age, and sold large chunks at the 10- and 12-year marks. But they felt it was aging so flavourfully that they saved 1,200 pounds to let it mature a few years longer, Hook said.

It's rare for cheddar to last that long, said John Umhoefer, the executive director of the Wisconsin Cheese Makers Association.

"Fifteen years is a good stretch of time to hold cheddar - perhaps as long as cheddar can hold for most people's palates," Umhoefer told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.
"Making cheddar that ripe, without it turning bitter or acidic, is a rare skill."

Umhoefer said he thought Hook's cheddar could be the oldest available on the market. There may be older cheddars, he said, but those would be in private collections.

The average cheddar fan is probably used to fresher samples. Shredded samples available in grocery stores are probably one to two months old, Hook said.

But anyone who has cleaned mouldy cheese from their refrigerator knows that even well-sealed samples don't keep for long, much less 15 years.

The secret is starting with precisely the right sample, Hook said, a sample that has no "off flavours" and progresses smoothly.

15 years, I’ve got tins of soup older than that.

And finally:

The Monday Numpty

From over the big wet thing again: Tallmadge Township, Mich. Authorities said a man trying to burglarize a southwestern Michigan towing and auto-repair shop got a surprise when he found tow truck drivers inside still on the job.


The Grand Rapids Press reported the Marz Collision Services drivers were drinking coffee around 8 p.m. Friday in Ottawa County's Tallmadge Township when they heard noises in another room.

Owner Bob Marz said a man had just broken a window and was attempting to enter the building. The man took off on foot, and driver Todd Hodges pursued in his wrecker - calling police with his cell phone.

Authorities arrested a 45-year-old Grand Rapids man. He's expected to face burglary charges.

The drivers, who had spent the day pulling cars from snow banks,
Stayed on the job after the arrest.

First rule of burglary-make sure the place is empty.


Angus

AnglishLit

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Another rat leaves the sinking ship

Quick update:-Hazel Blears, the hells angel of Gord’s Gang has jumped ship The Communities secretary resigned at 10am just a day after her close pal Jacqui Smith walked out of her job as Home Secretary.

A third Blair babe Beverley Hughes also quit yesterday.

Sources said Alistair Darling, who is facing the axe as Chancellor over his expenses, was offered the position of Home Secretary but has turned it down.

Downing Street said Mr Brown "respects and understands" Ms Blears' decision to quit the Cabinet and believes she made "an outstanding contribution to public life".

I suppose the excuse will be “I want to spend more time with my family” strange that when they were claiming all those expenses they must have spent 24 hrs a day at Parliament, maybe that’s why.


Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

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