Ban the old boiler: Mr Bean gets the rope: The Sauce of it: Otter gotta lotta fish: and the Pedal powered Gamera II.

Still cold, still damp, still not a lot of atmospheric movement and still bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this first day of “spring”.

Back on the antibiotics due to yet another abscess on one of my remaining toofs, but they still refuse to yank them all out and give me something that doesn’t hurt.

And joy of joys my old fart’s bus pass arrived by snail mail yestermorn complete with a picture of someone I don’t recognise and an expiry date of 2018-I should be so lucky...

 

According to the UK Energy Research Centre

Gas boilers for home heating will have to be virtually eliminated by 2050 if the UK is to meet its carbon reduction targets and the use of petrol and diesel engines to power cars will also need to be "much less dominant" and replaced with electric power and biofuels, a policy meeting in the House of Commons heard.

The conclusions are based on modelling the likely shape of the energy sector in 2050 when greenhouse emissions will need to have fallen by 80% on 1990's level.

Professor Paul Ekins, one of the report’s authors, told MPs and peers home heating would "have to change radically" to meet carbon targets. Efficiency will have to be significantly improved for new and existing buildings with heat provided by electrically driven heat pumps and bioenergy.

District heating is another alternative, already in use in Denmark, where household boilers are replaced by centralised neighbourhood heating systems.

The internal combustion engine will be "much less dominant" by 2050, Ekins said, and replaced with battery powered and fuel cell vehicles.

 

Or they could use fat, carbon free teenagers like the Castle’s heating system....

 

A few years ago

 

Son of a B.......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I could use that rope now to hang myself) Osborne showed his non prowess at coordinated physical activity-otherwise known as skipping, and failed miserably, just as he is doing with the economy. 

Some people never change...

 

West to the home of burgers and the land of Heinz

Westbound traffic on Interstate 80 is back to normal after Nevada Department of Transportation crews used snowploughs to remove thousands of bottles of ketchup that were strewn onto the freeway.

Sgt. Janay Sherven with the Nevada Highway Patrol said crews put sand on the ketchup and then cleaned up the debris.

Health officials also will declare the spilled ketchup a loss so it can be taken to the dump.

A tractor trailer carrying thousands of bottles of Heinz ketchup crashed on Interstate 80 near the Robb Drive overpass this afternoon, spilling its red contents onto the freeway and snarling traffic in the process.

 

That looks worse than the bloodbath in Eastleigh-click on the link over the pic to watch the video.

 

Dahn in Welsh Wales

 

A fish farmer whose entire stock of 22,000 carp was eaten by otters lost his £2million compensation fight yesterday.

Brian Dodson, 60, alleged the Environment Agency had built otter dens to get them to breed.

But a judge at Cardiff High Court said the spread of otters in Tregarth, North Wales, was a “natural process”.

Mr Dodson has £10,000 costs. “I will have to go bankrupt,” he said.

 

Scales of justice?

 

And finally:

 

From the land named after Mary

 

Students at the University of Maryland in the US are a step closer to claiming a sought-after prize for a human-powered helicopter flight.

The American Helicopter Society Sikorsky Prize was introduced in 1980 but has never been claimed.

The students' helicopter, the Gamera II, achieved a world record flight of 65.1 seconds in August 2012, but failed to qualify for the lucrative prize as their craft strayed outside the required area.

The students have now designed a control system to overcome this hurdle, and have their sights firmly set on the claiming the cash reward.

Gamera II weighs 32kg (71 pounds) and is powered by a combination of hand and food pedalling.

To claim the Sikorsky prize, a helicopter must fly under human power for at least 60 seconds. The craft must also reach an altitude of three metres and remain within a 10m square.

Named after Russian-American aviator Igor Sikorsky, the prize offers a $250,000 (£164,000) reward.

Qualifying flights must be certified by a representative of the world governing body for air sports and aeronautics world records, the FAI.

 

Spiffing, bet it would be much better with an engine.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to measure the spin of my black hole.

 

And today’s thought:

Tough luck tosser

 

 

Angus

“Right time” Leccy: I’m in-not: Bangers and £75: Posh ketchup: Bubble trouble: and Abreast of booze.

Not a lot of lack of cold, less solar stuff, minus amounts of atmospheric movement and a deficit of wet stuff at the Castle this morn.

Decided to do some decorating over the next few days, starting with the smallest room and working my way up to bigger stuff, have invested in one of those “super” pad thingies kit which apparently holds eight times the amount of coloured stuff than a brush and will not drip or splash and will be able to get right up to the edges of walls and ceilings without having to ‘cut in’.

 

We shall see.....

 

According to the Institution of Mechanical Engineers

 

Liquid air can compete with batteries and hydrogen to store excess energy generated from renewables.

IMechE says "wrong-time" electricity generated by wind farms at night can be used to chill air to a cryogenic state at a distant location.

When demand increases, the air can be warmed to drive a turbine.

Engineers say the process to produce "right-time" electricity can achieve an efficiency of up to 70%.

IMechE is holding a conference today to discuss new ideas on how using "cryo-power" can benefit the low-carbon economy.

 

The process follows a number of stages:

"Wrong-time electricity" is used to take in air, remove the CO2 and water vapour (these would freeze otherwise)

The remaining air, mostly nitrogen, is chilled to -190C (-310F) and turns to liquid (changing the state of the air from gas to liquid is what stores the energy)

The liquid air is held in a giant vacuum flask until it is needed

When demand for power rises, the liquid is warmed to ambient temperature. As it vaporizes, it drives a turbine to produce electricity - no combustion is involved

 

Splendiferous, but what will we breathe?

 

After yestermorn’s hype about pensions for all

 

It turns out that Karren Brady, one of the “celebrity bosses” helping to promote these pensions to the nation's workers via a TV advertising campaign, has recently admitted that she does not invest in pensions herself.

 

Ah; the old stuff you I’m alright ploy...

 

At one of the big rubbery man’s starred restaurants

A Michelin-starred ­restaurant is charging £75 for a plate of bangers and mash.

L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon’s dish is 839% dearer than the standard £7.99 but comes with a few added extras.

Its signature mash contains black truffles and has almost as much butter as potatoes.

The sausages are from pigs fed on acorns, wild thyme, rosemary and ­mushrooms, then cooked in a vintage wine worth £75 a bottle.

Olivier Limousin, chef at the restaurant in Central London, said: “Working with this quality of ingredients is a dream come true.

"And putting my stamp on sausages and mash is also a delight.

A pared-down version of the dish is available in a £152 taster menu during Potato Week, from October 1 to 7.

The Potato Council said: “This dish gives a gastronomic twist on a meal most of us enjoy once a fortnight at home.

"But of course you don’t need to add expensive truffle to enjoy this classic.

 

Think I’ll stick to me Cumberland and King Edwards....

 

And staying on the posh grub theme

 

 

Heinz has put its trademark Tomato Ketchup into posh pots so it does not look out of place at fancy dinner parties.

It comes as more of us are eating at home rather than splashing out at restaurants.

But it is thought some hosts are too embarrassed to put the sauce on the table as it is not swanky enough.

Now two new upmarket flavours – Balsamic Vinegar, Basil and Oregano, and Roasted Garlic, Thyme and Honey – will be sold in 300g jars for around £1.80.

They will hit the shelves by the end of the month.

Heinz said: “The new jar is bringing a spoonful of panache to dinner tables.

"It’s been made to add excitement to your favourite meals.

 

Bollocks...

  

East to the land that invented everything

 

A wall of foam sparked widespread panic among locals as it rushed along a river in southern China.

The mass of soapy suds blanketed the water in Xintang, in China's Guangdong province, leading to evacuations along the banks of the river.

But officials have now said the only threat posed by the foam - thought to have been caused by chemicals washed into the river - was the possibility of 'one or two dead fish' lurking in the bubbles.

The bubbles were created when the chemical was swept over a waterfall, officials said.

Rubbery bubbery?

 

And finally:

 

Back to the middle bit of what is left of Europe

German Liquor Company G-Spirits has recently released a limited edition line of vodka, rum and whiskey that are poured down the chests of women before being bottled.

And it will only set you back $150 – $180, depending on the spirit.

 

Worth every dollar, pity I don’t drink…

 

That’s it: I’m orf to try out some MP4OX, well you never know...

 

And today’s thought:

Semi retired.

 

Angus