Hijack a plane?-there’s an app for that: C-U Irn Bru: Soup of the day: Lambo Law: and Scottish polish.

More than enough skywater, nearly enough lack of cold, overdone atmospheric movement and bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, I was rudely awakened at 3.05 of the am by the sound of wet stuff hitting the windows, or in other words it chucked it dahn until 5 of the am by which time I decided that it was time to rise and moan.

And it seems that today isn’t going to get much better.

 

East a whimsy to the land of the Luftwaffe

A 30 year old tosspot called Hugh Teso reckons that he was able to exploit gaps in an aeroplane's data system and take it over with a few presses of a button.

Addressing the Hack in the Box conference in Amsterdam, Mr Teso said he developed an app for Android called PlaneSploit that could interfere with a plane's flight management systems.

Using a flight simulator he said he could make the plane "dance to his tune" and demonstrated how he was able to control everything from its air conditioning to its navigational systems.

The app itself appears as an animated cockpit complete with buttons to direct the aircraft to a specific location or send it crashing to the ground.

One function would make lights flash inside the cockpit, giving a terrified pilot the impression that the aircraft's systems were failing.

The hacking would only work if the aircraft was set to autopilot and could be over ridden by a pilot manually retaking control of the plane, Mr Teso said.

The US Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) said it did not believe Mr Teso's claim to be able to take over an aircraft.

 

Or at least they hope so.....

 

 Norf of the Border

 

A new advert for Irn Bru - under investigation over claims that it's anti-English - is becoming a smash hit online.

The ad, entitled New Fella, shows a Scottish dad drinking Irn-Bru to keep his temper in check as he meets his daughter's new English boyfriend, reports The Scotsman.

The father struggles to keep his cool as he chats with the lad who wears an England shirt and has a bulldog called Wembley which breaks wind on a Saltire rug.

So far, the 40-second clip has attracted nearly 70 complaints to advertising watchdogs - and more than 1.1million views on YouTube.

Irn Bru maker AG Barr's Facebook page was inundated with complaints about the advert, including one from Peter Menzies, who said: "It's too stereotypical that all Scots hate the English."

Craig Russell added: "When did racism become funny? Bru ads can be much wittier than this stereotypical trash."

A spokesman for Irn-Bru said: "We've not set out to cause offence. Our ads are known for their cheeky sense of humour."

An ASA spokesman confirmed the complaints were being assessed.

 

Never touch the stuff....

 

West to the home of the tealeaf and the land of GPS

Eusebio Diaz Acosta was arrested and charged with stealing a tractor trailer loaded with $75,000 worth of Campbell’s soup bound for a Publix grocery store from a truck stop in Central Florida.

The police were able to track the truck and its cargo via the truck’s GPS system, and pulled over the stolen rig on the Florida Turnpike. That’s when Acosta, 51, was arrested and charged with two counts of grand theft — one each for the tractor trailer and the cargo, according to the Sun Sentinel.


Wonder if he had a tin opener….

 

East more than a lot to the land of oil and stuff

Dubai's police force has unveiled its latest patrol car - a specially modified, quarter-of-a-million pound Lamborghini Aventador, capable of speeds up to 217mph.

In Dubai, where petrol is cheaper than drinking water, authorities face significant challenges to curb road accidents caused by speeding. 

Last year, official figures put road deaths at 122, with 2,161 injuries, many of which occurred on the emirate's notorious Sheikh Zayed highway.

Around 15% of traffic fines issued in Dubai every day are for driving at speeds in excess of 130mph, police figures released in March showed.

Last year, Dubai police announced they had issued 67,000 traffic fines in one month alone, 2,000 of which were for reversing on motorways.

 

Good luck with that, think I’ll stick to the Honda.

 

And finally:

 

Norf of the border again

Scottish company Mitchell & King has launched a limited edition car wax in honour of the ultimate luxury lifestyle car race – the goldRush Rally.

The GRV car wax boasts a gold shimmer and will apparently protect the vehicle for up to 4 months.

The container is milled from the finest grade Titanium, coated with 24ct Gold and encrusted with Swarovski crystals and 10 x 0.5-carat, F Colour, VS2, brilliant round cut diamonds and includes 2 24-carat gold rings, as well as the application of GRV wax by a Mitchell & King approved detailer. Oh, and the wax will be delivered personally by the company’s director.

 

And all for the meagre price of………£63005.53 per bottle

 

Pass….

 

That’s it: I’m orf to go bat hunting

 

And today’s thought:

You’re nicked

 

Angus

Moving law, order and other tales

Warmish, calmish and dampish at the Castle this morn, the study is devoid of any non functioning machines, his Maj has decided to find the muddiest bit in the garden, have a roll about in it and then sit on my lap....

I see that the biggest car park in the world is twenty five

At 117-mile (188km) and more than 11 years to build, cost £1bn and used more than two million tonnes of concrete and 3.5 million tonnes of asphalt. The M25 is a monster of the road in many ways.

The final section was opened by Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in October 1986 to a huge fanfare. It has gone on to change many things, including our economy, environment and living habits.

Happy birthday.....

 And: 

U-Turn Cam’s “support team” spent £3,500 plus to join him on holiday

Allegedly; newly released details on government spending showed that members of his private office charged taxpayers almost £3,600 to act as the “Prime Minister’s support team during a visit overseas (holiday in Ibiza)”.

A Cabinet Office spokesman said the spending covered accommodation for members of Mr Cameron’s private office “to enable him to continue working when he was on holiday so he could stay in contact with Downing Street at all times”.

The disclosure came in new data showing civil servants have racked up more than £360 million of debit card bills since the Coalition came to power.

It emerged that the Ministry of Defence has spent £48,000 in “bars, lounges, taverns and discos” and £1,260 at “bowling alleys” since April.

Since the beginning of the year, officials from the Department for Transport have stayed at hotel chains, including Hilton, Sheraton and Malmaison.

The Ministry of Justice, which looks after prisons, records more than £3,000 of payments to hair and beauty parlours, £1,700 to a classic car dealership and more than £900 to a company called The Wedding Direct.

But forget not-“we are all in this together”.

  

Over in the land of the brave and the home of the free

A former Creek County judge convicted of exposing himself and using a male enhancement device while seated at the bench is not eligible to receive judicial retirement benefits, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled on Tuesday.

The high court upheld a decision by the Oklahoma Public Employees Retirement System Board of Trustees, ruling that Donald D. Thompson, a 23-year veteran of the Sooner State legal system, violated his oath of office by using a penis pump while presiding over trials, according to NewsOK.

Thompson served about 20 months in prison after being found guilty in 2006, at which time his monthly pension of $7,789 was discontinued.

During his own trial, Thompson unsuccessfully argued that the criminal actions did not disrupt the proceedings in his courtroom. 

The Westminster Wankers should look out then...

Up a bit to the cold bit of the States

The captain of a supply boat was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after his vessel ran aground early on Thursday in Anchorage's small-craft harbour, police said.

It appears to be the first case of an alcohol-related marine accident at the port of Anchorage in recent memory, said Lieutenant Dave Parker of the Anchorage Police Department.

The vessel, a 53-foot cargo craft, was steered up onto the harbour's concrete boat ramp, where it was left "high and dry," Parker said. On its way into port, boat also appeared to have struck and damaged an offshore piling, he said.

A blood-alcohol test of the captain, Albert Anderson, 57, revealed he was at least one-and-a-half times the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle or water craft, Parker said. 

Police are treating the case as a routine drunken-driving incident, albeit one that does not involve a car, he said.

 What shall we do with the drunken sailor-Put him in the bilge and make him drink it.

Back in Blighty

A policeman illegally parked a patrol car so he could tick off other drivers for poor parking.

The officer ignored road markings and left his vehicle with two wheels on the pavement as he monitored parents dropping off their children outside Thorpe Hesley Junior School near Rotherham, Yorkshire.

But his badly parked car was captured on camera and he later apologised after being disciplined by senior officers.

Parent Kevin Leach, 32, said: ‘The policeman was marching up and down, strutting his authority in an attempt to ensure the rules of the law were being followed.

The old “do as I say, not what I do” ploy.

Right a smidge to the land of fast roads

Four Britons driving a car transformed into a pirate ship were stopped by German police as they drove through Europe on their way to a competition.

The motley bunch dressed head-to-toe in pirate attire were on their way to an iconic vehicle contest.

The amateur ship - aptly named Black Pearl after Pirates of the Caribbean’s star Jack Sparrow's beloved boat - troubled motorway authorities near Holzkirchen in Germany.

It is believed the four-wheeled pirate ship was heading towards Munich when it was spotted and stopped.

The pirate wannabees - who have not been identified by police – were sent on their way after testing negative for alcohol and supplying necessary documentation.

A police spokesman said: ‘They had a road safety certificate for all of the modifications including the mast and the galley and so we wished them a safe voyage and allowed them to continue on their way.’

Handsomely

Back over to the land of big cars and even bigger trucks

While fire-fighters in Pittsburgh were at City Hall getting flu shots, the trucks they parked outside were getting parking tickets.

The trucks were parked for about 5 minutes Wednesday in permit-only spaces reserved for City Council members. But council President Darlene Harris denies any involvement.

Mayor Luke Ravenstahl says the tickets never should have been issued. He says fire-fighters were encouraged to get flu shots to stay healthy.

Fire-fighters union attorney Josh Bloom says they drove the trucks to City Hall so they could stay on duty.

Fire Chief Darryl Jones tells KDKA-TV he has appealed the tickets. He says he'll ask a judge for leniency.

 Who will probably be too busy “pumping up” to listen.

And finally:

Back to the thin blue line in bollixed up Blighty

A female police officer who hit her head on a cabinet after the back of chair snapped off received £10,000 compensation, figures show.

Another officer was paid £5,000 after slipping on a wet patch in a lavatory, according to Bedfordshire Police.

A Public Protection Officer who burnt his hand in flames at training course at RAF Cosford - £4,875

A Response Volume Crime Officer received a knee injury after he lost control approaching a corner - £1,600

A Response Officer put his hand through a pane of glass while running out of a station on a 999 call - £2,052

And.

A Central Ticket Office staff member claimed that complaints about backache and an "uncomfortable workstation" were not addressed - £1,000

Compo coppers......
 

That’s it: I’m orf to berate a Seagull 

And today’s thought: Every rule has an exception-especially this one.

Angus