But the good news is that I will be able to charge the villagers £1 each to skate on the moat.
MPs are revolting en masse, yesterday it was three, today we have 80 of those well loved public servants whinging on about paying back our money, they just don’t learn do they.
And:
Today Councils and the police will be legally required to publish the names, pay and perks of all officers earning more than £150,000, under new regulations.
The excuses will be interesting.
No item on Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen today, I can’t be bothered.
First up:
It appears that Sarah Palin’s book tour is a pelting success, Costco customer Helen Rappaport told The Salt Lake Tribune that she couldn't find tomatoes at a warehouse in Salt Lake City last week because, the manager told her, they were taken off shelves while Sarah Palin visited during her book tour.
"It turns out that Palin had been pelted with a tomato at an earlier stop on her book tour and the management at the Costco was determined it wouldn't happen here," the paper said. "The manager told an employee to go into the storage area and get Rappaport some tomatoes, which he gave her for free."
The book tour, which ended this week, included stops at Costco stores in Salt Lake City and Tempe, Ariz.
Update: The Associated Press reported earlier in the week that a man was arrested for throwing a tomato at Palin at the Mall of America in Minnesota. He missed.
Confirmation from Costco, Thursday 2:15 p.m.: Kevin Campbell, who manages the store Palin visited in Salt Lake City, confirmed that it pulled tomatoes off the floor while she was there and put them in a receiving area, then gave them to customers who asked for tomatoes (but not for free). It was in response to the tomato-throwing at the Mall of America earlier in the week. "Our concern was that somebody might want to be a copycat, so we removed that opportunity," Campbell said. "Our intention was to be a good host and make sure we didn't have any similar kinds of events." He added that he doesn't think it's news. "It's ridiculous that it's being reported."
Anyway, Kiwi fruits are much better-harder.
People from several villages in Papua New Guinea's highlands have gone on a massive drinking binge, after looting a truck carrying thousands of cartons of beer.
Police say a truck carrying 4,000 cartons of beer worth around $150,000 ran off a road in Chimbu province yesterday.
The driver was unhurt but local villagers flocked to the site, ripped open the trailer and looted the beer.
Superintendent Joseph Tondop told the National newspaper his officers had to disperse crowds of drunks who had gathered on the road to harass passers-by.
Another eyewitness told the paper almost everyone from three nearby villages was intoxicated.
Superintendent Tondop said he hopes common sense will return when everyone sobers up today.
In the land of the hangover, the man with the Paracetamol is king.
Photographs of a monk skateboarding inside a historic temple have caused controversy in China.
They were taken by a visitor to the Emei Mountain Temple, in Sichuan province, and posted on the internet, reports Huaxi Metropolis News.
The monastery stands near the top of Mount Emei - the highest of the Four Sacred Buddhist Mountains of China and the site of the country's first ever Buddhist temple.
Internet users were taken aback by the photographs and posted comments criticising the monk for adopting a "modern fad".
"Monks should seek quietness and riding a skateboard is such a contradictory thing to Buddhist life," said one.
However, a spokesman for the temple said that the outside world did not understand the life of a contemporary monk.
"People get their impressions from TV or movies, where monks are praying all day long, without any motivation or desire," he said.
"But these days monks also enjoy sports like badminton, table tennis and skateboarding in the spare time, as well as praying.
"They even use the internet and mobile phones to promote Buddhism. This is not contradictory to Buddhism but actually is part of the Buddhist spirit."
Whatever calms your Karma.
A suspected burglary has been solved in Somerset - after a neighbour spotted a cow jumping on to a roof.
The householder, of Blagdon, thought she had been broken into after coming home to find her roof badly damaged.
She called in the police - but then a neighbour came forward with some surprising information, reports the Daily Telegraph.
William de Cothi, 17, had photographed the animal after he spotted it on the roof about six feet off the ground.
The Sixth Form student said: "I was looking out of my window when I saw the cow.
"At first I thought that it was an illusion and that it was in the background and not really on the roof. But after a closer look I could see it was actually on the roof.
"I have heard cows can jump quite high, so I think that is how it got up there. I got my family to come and look later and they laughed. It was absolutely amazing."
Local PC Ray Bradley said: "This was initially recorded on my figures as a burglary so I am glad I can take it off.
"If it wasn't for the door-to-door enquires and this photo we wouldn't have found out it was a cow responsible."
Bovine bird.
And finally:
Billy the kid is behind bars at a jail in Germany.
The stubborn young goat was caught by cops in Bremen, Germany, after the animal blocked traffic by standing in the middle of a road crossing.
The goat then led cops and locals on a chase across town when officers – called in by drivers – tried to catch it. It was eventually caught by police after several patrol cars had to be called in to help. But police have so far failed to find Billy’s owner despite its earmark.
The only remarks on the arrest papers were "smells very bad". The goat is currently on bread and water at the local jail where one of the female officers is caring for him.
Goat skin rug in the making.
That’s it for now; I’m off to laugh at the Numptys trying to drive up the hill.
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