The Police are revolting: U-Turn Cam on Justice: Homeless Coalition: Dead Weasel: Goosey, Goosey sandals: The Wrong shoes: and a Beer crate bike Numpty.

Sunny, calm and pleasant at the Castle this morn, the Strawberries are just about ready to pick, and I have just returned from Tesco’s with the stale bread, gruel and cat food.

Nightmare of a day yesterday, hence no post-fucking Microsoft decided to download an “update” while I was backing up my laptop and it froze then crashed, I couldn’t repair it so I spent 12 hours re-installing Vista(again), but I have lost the last three years of blog posts, picture, emails and my backup hard drive is stuffed as well.

I can recover the lost data if I am willing to pay $89 which I am not, so a truncated post today.

Anyone got a Mac they don’t want?

Apparently the “law” is revolting

Over 2,000 frontline police officers are to demonstrate against police budget cuts in London next month.

The rally will be the police's biggest protest in the capital for three years and will be held by the Police Federation of England and Wales at Methodist Central Hall on July 13th.

Wonder if they will be “Kettled”.

Old fart Ken Clarke is in the doo, U-Turn Cam doesn’t know which way to face and crims are in abundance on our streets.

Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary and Her Majesty's Crown Prosecution Service Inspectorate found that more than 100,000 criminal offences wrongly result in an “out of court disposal” every year.

The verdict was delivered as David Cameron faced calls to sack Kenneth Clarke, the Justice Secretary, over his plans to halve the sentences of many senior criminals who plead guilty.

More than a third of the 1.3 million crimes resolved by the police every year result in an “out of court disposal” such as a fixed penalty notice, a caution or a warning, a total of almost 500,000.

In a report published today, the inspectors conclude that around a third of those cases should have been dealt with in court, where magistrates or judges could impose larger fines, community sentences or a jail term.

Those who escaped court proceedings were “frequent or serious” offenders, the inspectors found.

No surprises there then....

 

And apparently the Millionaires Club Coalition is making people homeless.

Have a read, interesting article.

Over the wide wet thing to the left

Police say a man was carrying a dead weasel when he burst into an apartment and assaulted a man in Washington State.

The victim asked, "Why are you carrying a weasel?" Police said the attacker answered, "It's not a weasel, it's a marten," then punched him in the nose and fled.

Police later found the 33-year-old Hoquiam man arguing with his girlfriend at another location and arrested him after a fight.

He said he had found the marten dead near Hoquiam, but police don't know why he carried it with him.

A marten is a member of the weasel family.

The mind boggles, pop goes the Weasel?

Down a fair bit

Gator the rescue goose’s adoptive parents, Bob and Lauree Strouse, were so concerned his feet would suffer on their walks; they got him a pair of sandals.

The couple designed the footwear to combat the hot and harsh concrete in the town of St Augustine, Florida.

The trio have become a regular sight since finding Gator wandering along the edge of Lake Roy in Winter Haven, Florida.

They feared its resident alligators would gobble him up, so took him under their wing. ‘We rescued him,’ said Mrs Strouse. They called him Gator because it’s a shortening of the rather pessimistic ‘Gator bait’. That was four years ago.

They now regularly take him out for a walk but make sure he is on a lead in crowded areas to make sure he does not get into mischief.

But at heart Gator is a home body. ‘He grazes in the yard,’ said Mr Strouse. ‘He eats grass and ants and bugs,’ his wife added.

Hippy Gander...

Back in Blighty

And talking of footwear, a school that banned 17 pupils from a GCSE exam as they were wearing the wrong shoes was labelled “draconian” by parents yesterday.

Four students refused to take off their casual footwear and missed the maths test, while 13 took it in socks.

Patrick Doherty, 15, was worried his feet would smell and sent his sister to fetch another pair – but she got back after the exam started and he was not allowed in.

Mrs Doherty has complained to governors at Cardinal Newman Catholic School in Coventry.

The school stated: “We have offered financial support to help buy shoes so there is no reason why anyone should not be in full uniform.”

Catholic school-should have been wearing chastity belts....

And finally:

Over to the land of sauerkraut.

A beer-loving inventor who created a motorbike out of a lager crate and a lawnmower engine is in hospital with after pranging the creation on its maiden voyage.

Mechanic Martin Koenig, 22, from Ober Olm, Germany, overturned the trike on a turn and was hurled to the ground, say police.

"Unfortunately he was not wearing a helmet and he hit his head. It wasn't the most stable vehicle in the world," explained one officer.

"He had built the entire thing himself from the frame to the engine.

"We don't think he'd consumed all the beer from the crate before the crash, but as he was on private land he wasn't tested for alcohol."

Just for his IQ,

That’s it: I’m orf to update the periodic table.

And today’s thought: If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

Angus  

Going out: Coming in: El Papa’s stripper: Wheelie big saw: Beanz meanz NZ: and Goosy Goosy Dentist.

‘Tis cold, dark and windy at the Castle this morn, oodles of wet stuff yesterday and last dark thing, which has made the garden smile-and me because I don’t have to drag the watering can around.

I had several phone calls from Mac owners who have acquired a virus on their “inviolate” laptops, so I downloaded the SophosLabs free antivirus for Mac, deleted the Leap-A worm and charged them double.

Why? Because I can…….

The Talk Talk internet connection is still iffy, and the rain doesn’t help, modern technology.

I see that “we must reduce the deficit” U-Turn Cam has decided that “We” can afford to give away £100 million or so to the Arab Spring countries.

British officials said that the Piss poor Polices Prime Minister, David Cameron, was ready to promise £110m in aid for such countries over four years. The initial beneficiaries would be Tunisia and Egypt.

Today's summit declaration is expected to promise a "durable partnership" with Egypt and Tunisia and any other Arab countries which overthrow autocratic rule. Cairo has asked for $10bn to $12bn (£6.1bn to £7.3bn) by the middle of next year. Tunisia says it needs $25bn over five years.  

The cost of democracy.

And talking of Piss Poor Policies

Net migration in to the UK soared by almost half last year and is now close to the record levels of 2005.

It is the fifth quarter in a row that net immigration has risen signalling a worrying upward trend.

And two of the main drivers were a slump in emigration and a sharp rise in Eastern Europeans coming to the UK for work – two areas that will not be affected by the Government’s annual cap or other immigration measures.

Figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) yesterday also showed:

: The number of foreign workers increased by 1.7 million in the last decade and accounted for all the increase in employment levels over the period.

: Work visas increased by six per cent in the year to March 2011

: Asylum claims increased by 11 per cent

: Migrants granted settlement in the UK increased by four per cent

U-Turn Cam has promised to cut net immigration, the difference between those arriving and those leaving the UK, to the “tens of thousands” by 2015.  

Not working is it.

Apparently the ex Nazi what’s his name El Papa has shut down a famous community in Rome that organised dances by a former nightclub dancer nun and hosted VIPs like Madonna, earning the disfavour of the Vatican.

The closure of the monastery of Santa Croce in Gerusalemme, which holds some of the Church's most prized relics, was reported by Italian dailies La Stampa and Il Foglio.

The reports said the community of Cistercian monks based at the church for more than five centuries was being transferred to other churches in Italy.

Contacted by AFP, the Vatican did not deny the reports.

The basilica had become a hub for the Friends of Santa Croce, an aristocratic group, and had been criticised for some unorthodox practices including dances in which nuns pranced around the altar.

One of the nuns who performed at the church, a former disco dancer, can be seen in a YouTube video performing a modern dance with a crucifix. 

Seems like fairly normal behaviour for the Catholic Church to me.

Right a fair amount to one of the ‘Azakhstans

The world's biggest saw helps workers in Kazakhstan plough through hillsides by digging out 4,500 tonnes of coal an hour.

Towering in at just over 145 feet and weighing a staggering 45,000 tons, the massive machine obliterates anything in its path.

The saw has jagged buckets attached to the rotating blade - which works in a similar fashion to a chain saw.

The buckets dig deep into the coal seam and break off mammoth chunks - before it travels around a conveyor belt and straight into containers positioned on waiting trains.

The mammoth excavator needs a total of 27 people to operate it at any one time.

As giant as this mighty tool is, it is hindered by one flaw: it only travels at one mile every three hours.

 I pity the poor sod that has to change the blade.

Dahn Unda and right a bean

Heinz Australia will shed more than 300 jobs when it moves some of its operations in Victoria, NSW and Queensland to New Zealand, the company announced today.

The decision will result in the loss of 160 jobs at Golden Circle's Northgate plant in Brisbane, 146 jobs at Girgarre in northern Victoria and another 38 jobs at Wagga Wagga, in NSW.

Heinz will shift production of sauces, beetroot and some meals products from these facilities to its operations in Hastings, New Zealand, it said in a statement.

Heinz Australia chief executive Nigel Comer said the decision was made after an extensive review of the company's manufacturing operations. 

Or in other words-cheaper.

 And finally: 

Dahn in Surrey

A retired dentist suffered a broken leg after driving his quad bike into a tree while being attacked by a goose.

Jan Pieniazek was chased around a lake by an over-protective male Canadian goose as he tried to collect some grain from a neighbour's garden for his chickens.

He jumped on to his quad bike to escape but the hissing bird flew at him, landed on his head and knocked him off course.

Terrified Mr Pieniazek crashed into a tree and was left flat on his back in a field in Cowfold, near Horsham, until a neighbour heard his cries for help and called 999.

He said: "I went past the lake where there are a pair of Canadian geese. The female was sitting on her eggs on an island.

"The male always flaps his wings and hisses to protect the nest but on this occasion, he followed me all the way around the lake.

"Out of the blue he then landed on my head when I got on the quad and I drove straight into a tree.

"I heard a big crack in my leg bone. I was 200 yards from he nearest road so I screamed and screamed until a lady from a cottage down the road came to help me."

Paramedics and the Sussex Air Ambulance attended.

An Air ambulance spokesman said: "His tibia bone was protruding through the skin so we anaesthetised him, administered a strong painkiller and reduced the fracture.

"We then splinted his leg and made him more comfortable."

Mr Peiniazek is now recovering at home and is hoping to be back on his feet within six months,

The geese now have a family of six goslings.

A retired dentist…maybe there is someone upstairs: and at least the Goose is OK.

That’s it: I’m orf to test out my Bat Sight. 

And today’s thought: Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." - Bill Clinton, former U.S. president.

 Angus