Olympic Gold: Ark of the scrap yard: There’s a HuayuNavi app for that: Sexy pie: and A Plank and a door.

Masses of mini moisture molecules, more than a lot of lack of cold, not a glimmer of solar activity and oodles of atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn.

More than a modicum of tardiness due to oversleeping, going dahn  Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run and lacking the inclination to give a toss this mournful Monday morn.

Think it may have something to do with the marathon Red Dwarf session on channel 19 yesterday.

 

And now that the two big sporty things are over-apart from the endless recapping and a larger than big “parade”, according to the Guardian each of the big round metal things acquired by ‘Team GB’ has cost just over £4.5 million-ish or less.

And that Boxing was the most cost-effective sport in terms of funding per medal, with hockey the least.

Figures obtained from UK Sport, the strategic body overseeing performance sport in the UK, detail the amount of money invested in each Olympic sport since the 2008 Beijing Olympics. We have compared this data with the amount of medals won by Team GB at London 2012.

The largest amounts of UK Sport money were spent on rowing (£27m), cycling (£26m) and athletics (£25m). The high overall costs of cycling - particularly in its the track form - lie in the need for the latest technology in bikes, helmets and clothing; such as the 'hot pants' used to keep Team GB cyclists' muscles warm before their race.

British cyclists won 12 medals in London, including 7 golds in the velodrome, with technological superiority no doubt playing an important part in their successes. This puts spending on cycling in perspective - the average spend per cycling medal was £2.2m, compared with £8.4m of spending for each Olympic swimming medal (overall spend £25m).

The rowers also provided value for money. Their nine medals, four of which were gold, meant the average expense per medal was £3m. British boxing proved the most cost effective of all, as Team GB's five medals put the average cost of a boxing medal at £1.9m.

Total UK Sport funding for the London 2012 Olympics was £264,143,753, up from £235,103,000 spent on the Beijing Games. For London 2012, money from UK Sport was supplemented by a private sponsorship scheme known as 'Team 2012'.

Since 2008, a total of around £100m per year has been invested in 1,200 athletes competing across 47 different sports in both the Olympic and Paralympic Games.

 

Interesting numbers; which don’t even mention the thousands of homes, hundreds of hospitals, more than that many schools and massive amounts of investment into other infrastructure which could have been used to provide jobs using the £9 billion or so sportingly spent on the two big sporty thing up in the Smoke and other parts of Double Dip Blighty...

 

I am not knocking the Olympics but in these austere times couldn’t the Piss Poor Policies Millionaire’s Club Coalition have used the dosh to improve the lives of millions rather than pander to the egos of a few thousand people who consider running, jumping and throwing things the most important thing in the world-to them...

 

And while the Olympic”heroes” cruise about the capital

Aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal is being sold for £3m for scrap metal by the Ministry of Defence to help tackle a multi-billion pound defence deficit.

The removal of the Royal Navy's former flagship from service in 2011, five years early, was a "difficult but necessary decision", the MoD has said.

Its sale follows bids to turn the ship into a London heliport, a dive site off Devon or other overseas facilities.

An announcement on its future will be made in the leaning tower of Westminster today.

 

Maybe it could be used to house the homeless from London....

 

East to the land of funny writing

 

Translating complicated-looking Chinese characters is now made convenient with Funwish’s iPhone application: the HuayuNavi.

It was released in March 2011, and ever since has been used by travellers in Chinese-speaking countries and to those who are just starting to learn the language.

Translating Chinese text into the language of your choice is now possible just by taking a picture of what is to be translated, waiting a while for the app to process, and Ta-Da!

 

Rubbery, jubbery....

 

West more linear units than I could on my digits

According to “experts” the most bewitching scent to lure a man isn't Chanel No. 5. It's the sweet, spicy aroma of a traditional Thanksgiving dessert.

"Throw away the perfume and go get some pumpkin pie," said Dr. Alan Hirsch, Director of Chicago's Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Centre, told WBPF in West Palm Beach.

The smell drives men wild with desire, the researchers say. Combine with the scent of lavender and you might have to reach for a bucket of cold water.

 

Nah...It’s a bacon butty for me....

 

And finally:

 

Still in the home of planks and the land of banks

A Pennsylvania bank's front door is being hailed a hero after it stopped a robber from leaving Thursday morning.

The unidentified, 27-year-old suspect entered a Pittsburgh Citizens Bank at about 9 a.m. and demanded money from tellers, WTAE reports. He was handed an undisclosed amount of cash.

The bank's security system -- which was prominently advertised outside -- includes a set of double doors that lock in would-be robbers. Much to the robber's illiterate surprise, the system worked. Witnesses said the suspect was flailing around, screaming and banging his arms and head on his bulletproof prison.

Apparently the suspect has a huge bump on his head and a few lacerations that he'll be dealing with in jail.

The door sustained minor injuries, but should make a full recovery.

 

What a pane....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to buy a few sick bags

 

And today’s thought:

This is the way to do it.

 

Angus

Olympic adieu: Silly Billy rules Blighty: Badger burglar: No sand in Llandudno: and Hanging out in Oxfordshire.

Lots of lack of warm, low wispy stuff obscuring the blue stuff, not a whimsy of solar stuff and a definite lack of wet stuff at the Castle this non-Olympic morn.

Been up in Cheltenham for the weekend, just got back, his Maj was so pleased to see me that he bit me...

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco and checked out how much prices have risen since Thursday, they have...and his Maj has discovered the joy of hiding hard things in my shoes.

The sun has finally set over the five ring circus up in the Smoke

Some French bloke and a Ginger headed squaddy opened the old “entertainment”. 

And the “old” line up of “celebs” did their thing-

Del boy’s old motor exploded, sadly before the bang went orf.

We had the joy of old George Michael (who allegedly was given a whole car park to himself in order to minimise damage when he arrived in his motor).

Then old madness appeared to give us a rather quivering rendition of “our ‘ouse”.

The old Kinks did their “waterloo sunset” which I quite enjoyed.

A snatch of old (no more) Freddie Mercury, a bit of old (no more) John Lennon, some oldish Kaiser Chiefs doing the Who, some sort of fashion parade, no longer banned old Russell Brand pretending to be a walrus, an old DJ, and then five bottles of old Spice being transported on the top of unused London taxis.

Somewhere in this eclectic mix the real old WHO managed to ditch their Zimmer frames and do a song.

My second fave moment was old Eric Idle who gave us a snippet of Monty Python including some skating nuns, Morris dancers and quite a lot of people from the sub continent throwing stuff all over the old boy, followed by a youngish “rock band” who played some quite depressing ‘music’.

Then my very fave bit-old Brian May and old Rodger Taylor were joined by young Jessie J who looked very nice in not much at all and did “we will rock you”.

And if you click on the video above you will see the pride of the British Lions doing Queens “don’t stop me”.

Who says that Blighty isn’t a young, go getting technologically superior Coalition....?

And while the many, many visitors queue up at Heathrow for hours and hours to leave Blighty

U-Turn Cam and what’s his name have buggered orf on holiday after two weeks of free Olympic tickets and left Silly Billy Hague in charge.

Apparently U-Turn has gorn somewhere nobody is allowed to know about and what’s his name has gorn to Spain to the parents of his Spanish wife, Miriam.

That’s us stuffed then-another war in the Middle East?

A new chance for the unemployed

The Ministry of Justice is considering setting up call centres in prisons to increase prisoner work opportunities.

The plan is "one thing that could be considered" as part of efforts to make prisoners more employable when they finish their sentences.

No call centres are currently being run in prisons, but ministers are not ruling out such a scheme in the future.

Inmates already carry out a range of paid tasks including laundry services and printing.

The government wants to "transform prisons into industrious places of productive work" and make a 40-hour working week the norm. 

Sorry, it’s a new chance for criminals not the unemployed...

Left vast amounts of three feet and a bit to the land above the bit where the next big sporty thing is going to be held

A badger that wandered into a Reno-area retail store in northern Nevada dodged a tranquilizer dart and held authorities at bay for about an hour before being lured into a cage with cat food.

No one was hurt in the standoff at the bottled water/convenience store in a residential neighbourhood in Sparks, and the badger ultimately was returned to the wild north of Reno, Nevada Department of Wildlife spokesman Chris Healy said Wednesday.

"Apparently the door was open a bit and this badger just walked in," Healy told The Associated Press.

"Obviously, it was pretty hungry, because when they put the cat food in the trap, it went right in," he said.

Funny looking badger....

Dahn in Welsh Wales

North Shore beach in Llandudno was due to be the scene of a sancastle contest, which was scheduled to take place next week.

However, bosses have discovered there are far too many rocks and a large amount of seaweed covering the coastline, severely denting the potential of finding enough pure sand to compete effectively.

The annual event is organised by the Imperial Hotel and is a highlight of the summer in north Wales, typically attracting about 120 people.

Life’s a beach....

And finally:

Up a bit from dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire

A nude swim at Cornbury Park in Oxfordshire was the first of monthly meetings in scenic locations.

The venues will be kept secret until the last moment and only released to members of the Secret Swimming community.

The nude swim was also an attempt to break the record for the worlds largest skinny-dip

Note to self-join the Secret Swimming club.....

That’s it: I’m orf to stay awake for a long time-well; I can hope can’t I... 

And the last Olympic thought for today:

Thank thingy that’s over with.

Angus

Sport or supermarkets: Useless inept Doctors: Blurry women: It’s OK to steal: Ice cold noodles: and Tanks for the memory.

More than a smidge cooler at the Castle this morn, it is a mere 76f in the kitchen and a nice cool 84f in the master bedroom, no atmospheric movement and not a white fluffy thing in sight which means that I will be staggering about with the watering can to moisten the pots, hanging baskets and wall boxes this pre-noon. 

As the big sporty thing up in the smoke grinds to a halt

And U-Turn Cam is vomiting his usual spin doctor sound bites about how much the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition is doing for the not very healthy kiddlies by selling orf oodles of school playing fields he may like to take a look at what is happening up Norf in Leeds.

Where  an area of what is now scrubland, an abandoned swimming pool and sports centre – left to crumble behind a high security fence when fee-paying Leeds Girls' High School upped sticks and joined the middle-class flight to the city's northern fringes to merge with the boys' establishment in 2008.

If developers get their way the site could become the home of a new supermarket-owned convenience store and 25 houses.

The plan has been signalled for approval by Leeds City Council officers next week

But Martin Hamilton, a local councillor, said young people in his ward needed all the help they could get. "It leaves a bitter taste in the mouth when you are having all this success in the Olympics and you are stopping all these kids from less privileged backgrounds from playing sport," he said.

A spokeswoman for Leeds City Council said the development would not give rise to any unacceptable consequences for the environment, community or other public interests.

Yeah right, strange thing is Leeds council has a Labour majority....

And all across Olympic Blighty

Allegedly Doctors are failing to record accurately the cause of up to a quarter of hospital deaths, a study suggests.

A pilot scheme designed to prevent a repeat of the Harold Shipman murders found that one in 10 death certificates did not even have the correct category of disease.

It also means that families are often told the wrong cause of a loved-one’s death.

Dr Alan Fletcher, a consultant at Sheffield Teaching Hospitals, was appointed Britain’s first “Medical Examiner” to check the accuracy of death certificates as part of a move to tighten up procedures in the wake of the Shipman case.

He checked 8,000 death certificates from the Sheffield area against detailed medical notes and case histories but found inaccuracies in about 2,000 of them.

Often doctors had listed the immediate trigger for a patient’s death, rather than the root cause.

Examples included patients with terminal cancer who were classed as dying from pneumonia as that was the condition which caused their final deterioration.

In about 40 per cent of those – or a tenth of the overall total – the cause of death given on the certificate was a different category of disease.

For example a patient who was bed-bound with severe dementia which led to pneumonia was classed as dying as a result of respiratory illness rather than a neurological condition.

He said doctors were failing to read the “story” set out in patients’ records.

"I don't believe there is someone of murderous intent patrolling hospital corridors,” he told The Guardian.

Well he would wouldn’t he-being a Doctor.....

East to the land that has been fought over for many, many centuries

The latest prescription for extreme ultra-Orthodox Jewish men who shun contact with the opposite sex: Glasses that blur their vision, so they don't have to see women they consider to be immodestly dressed.

In an effort to maintain their strictly devout lifestyle, the ultra-Orthodox have separated the sexes on buses, sidewalks and other public spaces in their neighbourhoods. Their interpretation of Jewish law forbids contact between men and women who are not married.

Walls in their neighbourhoods feature signs exhorting women to wear closed-necked, long-sleeved blouses and long skirts. Extremists have accosted women they consider to have flouted the code.

The ultra-Orthodox community's unofficial "modesty patrols" are selling glasses with special blur-inducing stickers on their lenses. The glasses provide clear vision for up to a few meters so as not to impede movement, but anything beyond that gets blurry - including women. It's not known how many have been sold.

For men forced to venture outside their insular communities, hoods and shields that block peripheral vision are also being offered.

The glasses are going for the "modest" price of $6.

Obviously didn’t go to Specsavers



Over to the Sub-Continent

Apparently a minister in India's most populous and politically crucial state, Uttar Pradesh, has said bureaucrats can steal a little as long as they work hard - sparking national outcry in a country whose ruling class has long been mired in corruption scandals.

"If you work hard, and put your heart and soul into it ... then you are allowed to steal some," Shivpal Singh Yadav told a gathering of local officials in comments caught on camera. "But don't be a bandit."

Uttar Pradesh, which is bigger than Brazil by population, was earlier governed by 'Dalit Queen' Mayawati. She has been criticized for spending millions of rupees on building statues of herself and buying diamond jewellery despite widespread malnutrition and poverty in her state.

Now why does that sound so familiar?-you got to pick a pocket or two.....

Still in the right hand side of the world where no one is affected by nuclear stuff

Nissin, famous worldwide for it Cup Noodle products, will be introducing an interesting new product: cold instant noodles.

This new product is prepared by mixing ice into the noodles, giving you a whole new instant noodle experience.

The noodles are a bit chewier and the usual salty flavour is lessened.

The release is supposed to be in response to the summer season and recent electricity problem Japan faces.

Cold instant noodles are an alternative way to cool down. Instead of using air conditioning, one can simply eat and at the same time beat the heat.

Or you could have a cold nice glass of glowing water...

And finally: 

Right quite a lot of linear units

Folks having a summer dip and catching some rays on a beach near Kaliningrad, Russia got a bit more than sunburn when a convoy of military tanks hurtled through the sands.

The reason, it is claimed, is that Russian authorities instruct the military, where possible, to transport their tanks and other heavy-duty vehicles on the sand so not to damage the country’s road network. 

So how do they get them to the beach then?

That’s it: I’m orf to watch the annual Perseid meteors this dark thing

And today’s thought:

Think I’ll miss this one-Olympics

Angus

Flight of fancy: How to make a star: Musical note: Mars Mountain: Polly vs. Kiddlies: and where not to leave your motor.

Usual atmospheric conditions at the Castle this morn-wet, cold, calm and crappy,  the garden is in need of more than a smidge of fettling, I am thinking of putting outriggers on the Honda and his Maj is still bringing me frogs.

 

Dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire

And just a couple of imperial units up the road aviation enthusiasts have launched a campaign to erect a statue in memory of the first person to make a powered flight in Britain.

Farnborough Air Sciences Trust (FAST) (which used to be the Royal Aircraft Establishment before “someone” sold it orf) hopes to unveil the memorial to Samuel Cody in Farnborough, Hampshire, where his historic flight took place.

Cody died 99 years ago when the aircraft he was flying broke in half.

FAST plans to unveil a £100,000 statue on the centenary of his death next year and are fundraising to pay for it.

The group have already secured £10,000 from Hampshire County Council and Rushmoor Borough Council. 

Really pleased to see that my bleedin Council Tax is going towards such a good cause.

If you want to know more about the place where I was an apprentice way back in 1967 click HERE.

Recipe for a star

1. Take a hollow, spherical plastic capsule about two millimetres in diameter (about the size of a small pea.)

 2. Fill it with 150 micrograms (less than one-millionth of a pound) of a mixture of deuterium and tritium, the two heavy isotopes of hydrogen.

 3. Take a laser that for about 20 billionths of a second can generate 500 trillion watts – the equivalent of five million, million watts. 

4. Focus all that laser power onto the surface of the capsule.

 5. Wait ten billionths of a second.


Result: one miniature star.

Luckily this technology is available at the National Ignition Facility more than a lot over to the left in Livermore California where Leccy is a lot cheaper than here in Blighty.

East oodles of do-dahs to the land which has never been irradiated

The Otamatone DX, a new electronic instrument from Japan, is becoming quite a hit on the Internet. Shaped like a musical note, it can be played easily by anybody.

It’s as simple as this: Just slide your finger up and down the stem and squeeze its cheek to produce your own music!

I can do the same thing with my arse.....

Millions and millions of space units away

And billions and billions of dollars later NASA's Mars Rover Curiosity has beamed back an image of its surroundings, showing a clear view of the enormous mountain that it will clamber up in the next few years.

Mount Sharp is a giant Martian peak that rises 3 miles (5 kilometres) from the centre of Gale Crater. The mountain's many geological layers are particularly intriguing to mission scientists, as they could hold a record of how the Red Planet has changed over time.

In the newly released image, Mount Sharp is clearly visible in the background.

  

Worth every penny....

According to scientists

African grey parrots are smarter than your average two-year-old; apparently researchers claim to have found that human children only do as well as the parrots from about the age of three.

No other animals apart from great apes match the birds' ability to understand noise-related causal connections.

Researchers tested six African greys housed in a parrot rescue centre in Vienna, Austria.

During a series of experiments, the birds were asked to choose between two closed boxes, one of which held a piece of walnut and rattled when shaken. The other, empty container could be shaken without making a noise.

The parrots showed they knew how to detect hidden food rattling in a shaken box.

But much more impressively they also worked out - almost instantly - that if a box was shaken and made no noise, the food must be in the other container.

Choices were made by a parrot walking over to a box and turning it over with its beak.

In similar tests, most animals - and even small children - get confused about the way shaking and noise relate to the presence or absence of a hidden reward.

I know some seventeen year olds that are still not as smart as a Parrot....

And finally:

Where to park you motor if you don’t want it back

That’s it: I’m orf to give the sheep text messaging

And today’s thought:

Unemployable get free tickets-Olympics.

Angus

Contemporary justice: blow up sleeping policeman: the magic log: Weymouth wanker: and a rodent in a manhole.

Vast amounts of lack of warm stuff, oodles of wet stuff and quite a lot of atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, but not as bad as yester-aftermorn when lakefuls of skywater descended for several hours accompanied by big noisy bangs and mega kilowatts of free Leccy.

His Maj was out at the time hunting for frogs and came in looking like an exploded ken Dodd.

Somewhere in backward Blighty

A graduate who likened being asked to stack shelves in Poundland through a Government employment scheme to slave labour is not living in the modern world, a senior judge ruled.

Mr Justice Foskett expressed incredulity at an attempt to use human rights laws designed to combat “colonial” exploitation to challenge a Government back-to-work initiative.

He said arguments advanced on behalf of Cait Reilly, an unemployed geology graduate, were a “long way from contemporary thinking”.

The judge was speaking as he dismissed a legal challenge to two key employment schemes involving unpaid work on behalf of Miss Reilly and Jamieson Wilson, an unemployed HGV driver from Nottingham.

The irritable bowel twins Iain Duncan Smith, the work and pensions secretary, welcomed the judgment and accused those who campaigned against the schemes as being “opposed to hard work”.

I’m in two minds about this-

The Government back-to-work initiative is a good idea

-oh no it isn’t

-oh yes it is

-how can you say that unemployed people working for nothing is acceptable in the twenty first century?

Because it gives then some idea of what it is like to work and begins to form a “work ethic” in their lives.

But doesn’t it take advantage of the unemployed?

No, they are still paid their piss poor benefits but it puts them into the workplace with the very slim chance of a permanent job.

But wouldn’t the money be better spent on training?

Yes; maybe they should change the name of the scheme to “get orf your overeducated arse and sort your lives out initiative”

But what about those who have no qualifications?

They could be on the “stop watching daytime TV and emigrate to somewhere warmer initiative”

My brain hurts-Must take a tablet.....

East more than oodles to the land which has many, many athletes

In order to stop speeding motorists a fed-up pensioner has bought a blow up doll and dressed it in sexy red lingerie so motorists would slow down to take a look.

An accident black spot has had the number of crashes reduced after a blow-up sex doll was tied to a tree in a bid to slow drivers down.

The 67-year-old purchased the inflatable sex toy and added a few slinky additions to ensure it caught the attention of drivers.

"There are a set of traffic lights near my house and the cars just shoot through them as fast as they can," explained Chen.

"It's very dangerous.

"The police aren't interested so I bought this doll and tied it to the tree.

"I thought that drivers would slow down if I could give them something worth looking it."

Police admit that accident figures have dropped since Chen started to make a dummy of the speeding drivers.

Surprised she has the puff at 67....

Still in the Eastern part of the world

A 13-meter (42-foot) log has been the main attraction in Cambodia’s Pursat province for a couple of days now.

According to village chief Hun Nov “They believe the log has magical powers, about 100 people come every day to visit the log to ask for lottery numbers or to cure their sickness”

Visitors even bring offerings such as pig’s heads or whole boiled chickens.

The log first made news after several locals had touched it and won the lottery.


Probably better odds than our lucky dip….

Back in barmy Blighty

And dahn to the place where little plastic things float about powered by atmospheric movement acting on big bits of nylon.

Fire-fighters say they saved a flat from destruction after its domestically challenged resident tried to dry his wet socks and underwear in a microwave oven.

The Dorset Fire and Rescue Service said fire-fighters rescued the man from his home and extinguished the kitchen blaze Monday.

The fire destroyed the appliance along with the two pairs of underwear and socks inside it, and caused smoke damage to the apartment in Weymouth, a town on England's southwest coast.

"The fire safety message here is to never put clothing of any kind in the microwave or an oven to attempt to dry them," the Dorset fire-fighters said in a statement.

I do appreciate a proper Numpty...



And finally:

Right a smidge to the land of BMW boxes

Police in northern Germany used olive oil to free an animal trapped in a manhole cover.

Police spokeswoman Kathrin Feyerabend said Monday a woman on the outskirts of Hannover discovered the red squirrel Sunday after hearing its cries.,

Its head was poking up above ground through a hole in a manhole cover, its body dangling beneath.

After unsuccessfully trying to push the head back through gently, police officers removed the cover and rubbed olive oil around the squirrel's neck.

Holding back its small tufted ears, they were able to successfully release it.

But Feyerabend says the happy ending was short lived - the squirrel died several hours later, likely from stress.

A red squirrel up your manhole-no wonder it died….



That’s it: I’m orf to buy a “proper” book.

And today’s thought:

Soon to be unemployed get free tickets-Olympics

Angus

Elfandsafety NHS: Gaucho Rivero: There’s an app for that: Solar Sanno: Whitburn shark: and Nessie’s back....

Normal “summer” wevver at the Castle this morn-damp, dark, dingy, decidedly dodgy and a dearth of warm stuff, finally managed to load up the Honda with oodles of stuff for the ‘recycling’ centre yestermorn, now I am too knackered to drive dahn there and unload it...

And it seems that “we” are not doing too badly at the sporty thing in the Smoke-thanks to the Ladies...

Up Norf

Manchester NHS Trust officials to stop the use of metal paperclips after a member of staff cut their finger using one.

In a memo to staff, it was warned that the use of metal fasteners was 'prohibited' and the offending clips must be 'carefully disposed of immediately'.

'Due to recent incidents, NHS Manchester has decided to immediately withdraw the use of metal paper fasteners,' explained the memo featuring an accompanying picture of a paper clip - just to avoid any confusion.

'Please ensure any that remain in use be replaced by similar plastic fasteners.

'The use of metal fasteners is prohibited and must be carefully disposed of immediately. Thank you for your co-operation.'

The clips have been banned from the city's GP surgeries, clinics and offices in favour of a plastic alternative.

Is it April 1^st?  So what are they going to do about scalpels, scissors, pens and needles?

Left a fair way and dahn more than a bit

Allegedly any vessel sailing under the British flag has been banned from “mooring, loading or carrying out logistical operations” in Buenos Aires ports.

The bill was brought forward by Patricia Cubría, a deputy belonging to President Cristina Kirchner’s Front for Victory coalition.

It was nicknamed ‘Gaucho Rivero’ after Antonio Rivero, nicknamed the ‘Gaucho’, an Argentine cowboy who led an uprising in the Falkland Islands against the British in 1833.

The law is designed to hinder British ships involved in oil exploration in waters belonging to the islands and will be seen as the latest in a series of provocations in the run up to the 30th anniversary of the Falklands War.

Last year the South American trading bloc Mercosur – which includes Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay – decided to shut its ports to ships flying the Falklands flag.

Didn’t intend to go to Sarf America anyway.....

East more than many miles to the land completely unaffected by radiation

A Japanese electronics company has unveiled a 4m super-robot that can be controlled by an iPhone.

Kuratas" is fitted with a futuristic weapons system, including a Gatling gun capable of shooting 6000 BB bullets a minute, which fires when the pilot in its one-man cockpit smiles.

The four-tonne robot is going on sale for a mere £900,000 ($1.35 million).

The robot can be operated either through a pilot, who mans the controls in a cockpit in its chest cavity, or remotely using the touch screen of any Smartphone connected to the 3G network.

It comes in 16 colours, including black and pink, and for an extra $90 they will sort you out with a cup holder.

Engineers Wataru Yoshizaki and Kogoro Kurata were saluted in front of Kuratas with their pilot, Anna, when they showcased the robot at the Wonder Festival in Chiba, suburban Tokyo yesterday.

The team has been working on the robot since 2010.

The robot's four-wheeled legs ensure that it is easy to transport and the pilot will be able to drive it at a top speed of just under 10km/h.

Wouldn’t want to dial a wrong number then.....

Still in the place where nothing glows in the dark

Sanno, a small village in Hyogo Prefecture, has gone “all solar” after installing 216 solar panels, supplying energy to about 11 households.

Only 42 people are said to be living in the area, and the average age is 60 years.

The solar panels were installed by Sanyo Engineering and Construction, using funds that the municipality has kept for several decades while Kansai Electric Power bought the electricity and provided the village with extra income. Through this renovation, the villagers hope to bring the costs for maintaining facilities down to zero by next year.

Cost effective old farts?

Back in Golden Blighty and up Norf

Fishermen have hauled in a porbeagle shark measuring seven feet in length off the coast at Whitburn.

The shark was already dead when it was caught in the fishing nets by the Star Devine boat.

Local fishmonger Robert Latimer heard about the catch and was immediately interested in bringing it in to his café at Latimer’s Seafood Deli.

"My only guess is the shark was hunting wild salmon and trout, which are migrating, to their home rivers at this time of the year.

“We are totally against discarding any fish – this shark was dead when it was hauled on board, or else we would not have taken it, as it should have been returned alive to the sea.”

Porbeagle sharks are an endangered species with catches dramatically declining over the last 30-40 years.

The shark has been attracting local tourists who have come to Latimer’s to take a peek at the unusual catch, and shark meat is also for sale.

Geordie grub?

And finally:

Even further up Norf

Nessie hunter George Edwards has waited 26 years for this sight, and he now believes he has the best picture ever taken of the Loch Ness monster.

He spends around 60 hours a week taking tourists out on his boat Nessie Hunter IV, and has led numerous Nessie hunts over the years. But this image has convinced him that there really is a monster - or monsters - out there.

It shows a mysterious dark hump moving in the water towards Urquhart Castle. After watching the object for five to ten minutes, Mr Edwards said it slowly sank below the surface and never resurfaced. 

Maybe Nessie is on the way to the Smoke to take part in the sporty thing going on dahn there.

That’s it: I’m orf to practise my quantum key distribution

And today’s thought:

Unemployed get free tickets Olympics

Angus

Share of the losses: Who is back: Invisible bikes: The Cat Tunnel Couch: Ready for the flood: and a Rat burglar.

A bit of solar action, no atmospheric movement and lots of ex skywater at the Castle this morn, I have been “having a clearout” and have accumulated more than a vast amount of stuff for the “recycling” centre, snag is I am now too knackered to load up the Honda and get rid of it.

Apparently RBS shareholders are not happy

Three core Cable wants to take over the 82% Blighty owned millstone but it seems that ‘top’ shareholders in RBS have complained to the Treasury over "dangerous" and "damaging" suggestions that the taxpayer-backer lender could be fully nationalised.

We are absolutely furious,” said one top five shareholder. “This notion is ludicrous and has to be squashed immediately. Or how can we expect Hester [Stephen Hester, chief executive of RBS] and Bruce [Vans Saun, finance director] to stay. It has to stop or the bank will be damaged.”

Angry investors are understood to have contacted UKFI, the body that manages the Government’s stakes in banks, to voice their frustration with the “flip flop” in the ownership strategy for RBS.

Here’s an idea-as in the “real world” why don’t the petulant Pillocks repay the billions of taxpayer’s money they have salted away and then they can do what they want with their bank?

He’s back!!!!

Doctor Who comes face to face with Daleks and dinosaurs in a trailer heralding the return of the BBC sci-fi show.

A scene from the first episode of series seven, Asylum of the Daleks, finds the Doctor standing before thousands of his old enemies. “You’ve got me. What are you waiting for? At long last, here I am,” he says.

The 90-second trailer will be broadcast tonight on BBC One.

It also features Arthur Darvill as Rory, Alex Kingston in a returning role as River Song and Rupert Graves as an Indiana Jones-style adventurer.

The trailer includes scenes from a western-themed episode, A Town Called Mercy.

Series seven begins later this month and will be followed by a Christmas special.

 

Oh goody.....

East to the land of Photoshop-or something like it

Chinese photographer Zhaohua Sen has found a new way to make his photographs a little more 'interesting' — invisible bikes.



Maybe he should just take snaps….

Up a bit to the land of dog’s bollocks

Comes the Cat Tunnel Couch designed by Korean designer Seungji Mun.

Spiffing, still it will give the kiddlies somewhere to hide when Dr Who is on.....

Left to the land of water, whacky baccy and whatsits

A Dutch millionaire has opened the doors of his full-size replica of Noah's Ark to the public.

Johan Huibers spent four years building the ark after dreaming his hometown would be destroyed by a flood of biblical proportions.

Using dimensions set out in the Book of Genesis, the 137m x 21m craft features its own 'Bible museum', complete with life-size plastic animals.

"We wanted to build something that can help explain the Bible in real terms," explained Mr Huibers.

"The wood is Swedish pine, because that's the closest we think to the 'resin wood' God ordered Noah to use in the Bible. The animals are plastic and come from the Philippines."

The project stems from a dream the 52-year-old had in 1992, in which his native Holland was flooded by the North Sea.

"The next day I bought a book about Noah's Ark," he said. "That night while sitting on the couch with my kids, I looked at it and said: "It's what we're going to do"."

Mr Huibers originally wanted to sail his ark, currently moored on the Merwede River, Dordrecht, to the London for the Olympic Games.

However he was forced to abandon that plan after Dutch authorities raised health and safety concerns about the proposed voyage.

 

Ah the old Elfandsafety no Arks ploy from McDonalds…..

And finally:

Dahn Unda

Melbourne resident Alan Ryan was taking photos in his garden of the lorikeets that come to feast from his bird feeder when a rat decided to do show his eligibility for Olympic-standard gymnastics.

Ryan said he started having problems with rats after the death of his cat, Ozzie, but he’s not the only one.

“The lorikeets don’t want the rats coming in; they’ll stand up to it.

”The rats are pretty vicious too so it’s a bit of a contest there.”

 

Time to get another pussy methinks....

That’s it: I’m orf to find out why Ladies live longer

And today’s thought:

Beach volleyball for dummies Olympics

Angus