Werritty walks: Morgue Money: California Walnut nicker: Nut behind the wheel: Boston split: and Choc Frocks.

More than a lot of skywater, just as much lack of warm, even less atmospheric movement and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this November morn.

Orf out to somewhere to do something later and his Maj has discovered the joy of snail stalking.

 

Somewhere in the halls of “justice”

The CPS (crap prosecuting service) has decided that the self-styled adviser to former defence secretary Liam Fox will not face criminal charges.

Adam Werritty was under investigation after describing himself as Mr Fox's (who resigned last year after being found guilty of breaching the ministerial code over his relationship with Mr Werritty, whom he met 40 times in the Ministry of Defence and on trips abroad)  adviser on business cards and allegedly accepting donations. Andrew Penhale from the Crown Prosecution Service said: "We have advised City of London Police there is insufficient evidence to provide a realistic prospect of conviction."

 

So the old it’s not what you know but who you know still reigns supreme...

According to the Torygraph

Almost two thirds of NHS trusts using the Liverpool Care Pathway have received payouts totalling millions of pounds for hitting targets related to its use.

Apparently figures, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, reveal the full scale of financial inducements for the first time.

They suggest that about 85 per cent of trusts have now adopted the regime, which can involve the removal of hydration and nutrition from dying patients.

More than six out of 10 of those trusts - just over half of the total - have received or are due to receive financial rewards for doing so amounting to at least £12million.

At many hospitals more than 50 per cent of all patients who died had been placed on the pathway and in one case the proportion of foreseeable deaths on the pathway was almost nine out of 10.

The LCP was originally developed at the Royal Liverpool University Hospital and the city’s Marie Curie hospice to ease suffering in dying patients, setting out principles for how they to be treated.

It involves the withdrawal of treatments or tests from patients which doctors believe could cause distress and do more harm than good.

 

Last night the Department of Health insisted that the payments could help ensure that people were “treated with dignity in their final days and hours”.

 

Load of old Bollocks-notice the word “could”?

  

Over to the bit of America that isn’t under water

Authorities on the West Coast were embroiled in a seriously nutty mystery: the disappearance of 80,000 pounds of walnuts, stolen in two instalments, from Northern California.

The walnuts were first reported missing Friday by workers at a freight brokerage firm. Workers called the Tehama County Sheriff's Office to say that a truckload of walnuts, purchased by Seattle Company F.C. Bloxom and Co., never reached their destination in Miami.

The incident was then matched to a similar theft a few days earlier. A heist on Oct. 23 involved 40,000 pounds of walnuts, which were picked up in Los Molinos, Calif., but never arrived in Texas, where they were expected, NBC 5 Dallas-Fort Worth notes.

According to the Redding Searchlight, authorities believe the two crimes could be the work of the same individual-- a "suspicious delivery driver" with a tall build and strong Russian accent.

The man is said to be 6 feet 2 inches tall and driving a white semi. The 80,000 pounds of walnuts were valued at about $300,000.

 

Ah; the old squirrel disguised as a Russian ploy eh-it’s been a long time since I had a white semi.....

 

Back in Blighty and up to Essex

Marcus Lamm, 21, tried to squeeze through the closing barriers across the railway in Manningtree, Essex, But he got stuck behind a slow agricultural vehicle and did not make it across before the barriers closed, trapping him on the tracks.

The First bus was empty, apart from the driver, but had only just dropped off children from local schools.

Lamm, of Willow Way, Jaywick, admitted driving without due care and attention when he appeared at Colchester Magistrates' Court yesterday.

Representing himself, he said: "I had been sitting waiting for the train to come past with the barrier down.

"It came up and I followed with the traffic that was moving.

"It was safe at the time. I didn't see any lights as I went through but obviously they were flashing.

"I don't know what happened between me moving off and getting stuck."

Lamm, a former Tendring Technology College student, said he has lost his job with First as a result of the incident on July 19. He is now a bus driver with New Horizon Travel, in Frating.

 

Oh well; that’s alright then, as long as the cupid stunt is still driving buses.

 

Over to the bit of America that is under water

 

A Massachusetts fisherman has caught a creepy-looking lobster that's coloured to match Halloween.

The New England Aquarium says the 1-pound female lobster has an orange side and a black side, with the colours split perfectly down the middle.

Marine officials say such coloration is estimated to occur once in every 50 million lobsters.

The fisherman who caught the seasonally coloured crustacean in a trap last week is from Beverly, a seaside community 20 miles northeast of Boston.

The rare lobster is known as a split. Aquarium officials said Wednesday splits have been caught in Maine, Rhode Island and Nova Scotia in the last 10 years.

 

Schizophrenic crustacean...

 

And finally:

 

Back over to the bit of what is left of Europe where the big iron pylon resides

 

Some tasty looking outfits, including a naughty but nice bra, were showcased at a chocolate show in Paris.

 

They also featured chocolate truffle wings and a kimono sprinkled with confectionery flowers.

The delicious dresses were made for the 18th annual Salon Du Chocolat trade fair.

 

Fashion designers and chocolatiers joined forces inspired by the theme “The New Worlds of Chocolate” to create the outfits

 

Num-num- num, and the frocks aren’t bad either...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to get some re-healable concrete for the Castle.

 

And today’s thought:

When you said do you want some nuts, I never expected THAT!!

 

 

Angus

Offensive U-Turn Cam: Dying to be sacked: Pippa’s Padded pants: Naked Numpty: and a Nude nut up a tree.

More than a whimsy of lack of liquid metal vertical distance at the Castle this morn, luckily there is an ample supply of fat teenagers for the furnace; no post yesterday after having a peruse of the internet thingy and even managing to leave one comment on a blog-the magic signals refused to travel down the BT line to my router and stayed that way until this morn.

But I did manage to visit “Ms” sister in the smoke on the first day of the weekend, the journey was “interesting”, fog, an accident on the three lane tarmac thing, detour to Twickenham where there was an oval ball to-do and the Lord Mayors parade made extra time on the tonk.

And, every time I went under an underpass my satnav lost its signal so as I came up to a roundabout with fifteen exits I had no clue as to which way to turn.

I eventually arrived and travelled the 16 floors on the stairway to heaven (lift) and spent a nice morn/afternoon chatting and looking at the view of the Thames, Kew gardens and the smoke through the fog from the back wall of the living room.

When I returned to the Castle there was a large envelope from the NHS on the mat, who have informed me that as I have now staggered over the official old farts line of sixty they will send me a Bowel Cancer test kit in two weeks-oh joy.

So while the Piss Poor Millionaires Club Coalition has left me devoid of a pot to piss in at least I will have one to poo in.....

Apparently a senior Tory MP is considering legal action after he was reported to have made a series of offensive comments about David Cameron.

Patrick Mercer allegedly described the Prime Minister as an “a---” who was incapable of making “a sensible decision”, and suggested that he would be forced out of Downing Street within months.

Mr Mercer, who represents the rural constituency of Newark in Nottinghamshire, has referred the matter to lawyers after claiming that his comments, allegedly made at a private party, had been obtained by “subterfuge”.

Conservative sources said the party was unlikely to take disciplinary action against Mr Mercer, whose critical views of Mr Cameron are well known.

“Arse”, that the best he can do-how about dickhead, wanker, tosser, rich bastard, inept, alien, waste of air arrogant prick.....

And NHS managers have been banned from rationing treatments while patients wait to die or go private after Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary, admitted that some hospitals were delaying operations.

It comes after a damning report found NHS trusts were “imposing pain and inconvenience” by making patients wait longer than necessary for treatments in order to save money.

It is feared health service bosses have artificially increased waiting times as a way of making savings for many years.

But the practice had become “endemic”, the NHS Co-operation and Competition Panel found, as the health service struggles to make savings worth £20 billion over four years.

Mr Lansley said in future NHS bosses could be sacked if it was found their organisation was using such tactics.

Why is it always Mañana with this bleeding Government, sack the bastards now.......        

 And for certain readers

There has been a rush on sales of padded pants to women who want to create for themselves the same sculpted behind as Pippa Middleton.

Department store Debenhams has created the £18.99 Invisible Shaping Bum Boosters which, it claims, adds two inches to the vital statistics of the wearer’s rear end and a whole 15 degrees of curvature.

At the store’s branch in the Ocean Terminal shopping centre in Leith, the pants have been flying off the shelves.

Discreet, cheek-enhancing structures built into the back of the lining give extra bulk and curvature to the wearer, turning a flat bottom into a competitor for rear of the year.

Control panels at the front also flatten the tummy to emphasise the effect, while invisible seams remove all outlines of the garment when worn underneath clothes.

Already got some, Boots call them incontinence pants.....

Dahn in Dorset

A man has been arrested after being rescued naked from the sea in Dorset.

Coastguards received reports of a man in the water in Poole Harbour off Poole Town Quay in the early hours of Saturday.

The town's inshore lifeboat was launched to help the man but when the crew pulled him from the water they discovered he was naked.

The man, who was not injured, was arrested by police on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly.

 Pickled Walnut comes to mind.

And finally:

Staying with the naked nut theme

A man has been arrested after police discovered him naked and up a nut tree.

The Salem authorities received several 911 reports of a man without any clothes roaming the area, KGW reports.

When they arrived in the early hours of Thursday morning, police captured the naked man in a Filbert orchard wearing only tennis shoes.

Stephen James Ellingsworth, 28, of Silverton, who also goes by the last name Frolov, was taken into custody and given a warm blanket due to the cold early morning temperature.

The man told investigators that he had been out drinking with his friends the night before and had no idea how he ended up naked in a nut orchard.

He was booked into the Marion County Jail on three counts of public indecency, with bail set at $15,000.

Hope he doesn’t have a Filbert allergy...

That’s it: I’m orf to book a flight to Japan. 

And today’s thought: Things NOT to Say to a Naked Man... Well, that explains the padded pants.

Angus