Less than a lot of warm stuff, not a puff of atmospheric
movement, and dawn’s crack is still missing, as I sit here watching the onset
of the white fluffy stuff the butler is using both conveyor belts to feed fat,
carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace.
Apparently we are going to get quite a lot of snowman building
blocks dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire which will of course bring the ’Ome counties to a
standstill, buses will be cancelled, trains will not run, schools will close,
deliveries will not be delivered and All and Sundry will be sat in front of
their computers at home instead of going to work.
It really is no wonder that Blighty is going dahn hill so
fast, “when I were a lad” back in 1963 I remember walking two miles to school
in two feet of snow, my mum and dad walked 3/5 miles respectively to get to
work, teachers managed to report for duty, shops had plenty of “essentials”
because they used a bit of common sense and stocked up, even postman Pat
struggled through the wevver to deliver the mail.
But today it seems that the younger man/woman in the street
can’t travel more than two hundred yards without the internal combustion engine,
the slightest hint of white fluffy stuff is enough for them to abandon work,
school and normal life and to have a day or four orf because of inclement
wevver.
Come on Blighty, get up orf your arses and get out there, if
you can walk to work, walk to school show a bit of spheroid strength and get on
with life despite the scaremongering of “them” that think we are all gutless
losers.
After all we could always use the uneaten ‘Orses to get
about...
And talking of things that are not normally in our food
chain, allegedly Tesco have abandoned meat altogether and are stocking a new
type of vegetable that sums up the “management”.
From my old mate Bernard cometh the Brazilian Chuchu.
Are thinking of doing yet another 180, this time over the
plan to give tax breaks and "free" state-funded hours of childcare to
millions of working families, the proposals were due to be announced as part of
the Government's mid-term review and help off-set criticism of the decision to
withdraw child benefit from taxpayers earning over £60,000 a year. At the same
time Elizabeth Truss, the minister responsible for childcare, was due to
announce new rules to allow nurseries to look after up to eight children for
each member of staff. Currently the limit is four.
But the Treasury is understood to be concerned at the cost
of the proposals – which could be worth around £2,000 a child – could lead to
thousands of stay-at-home mums going back into the workplace.
This, officials fear, could create a funding black-hole at a
time when budgets across all Government departments are under intense pressure.
At the same time the Liberal Democrats are worried that the
plans to relax child/staff ratios could damage the standard of care provided.
Nick Clegg has made it clear that he will refuse to sign off on any policy
"which jeopardises standards."
So far the Coalition's ruling 'quad' of David Cameron,
George Osborne, Nick Clegg and Danny Alexander has met twice in an attempt to
iron out the differences between the Treasury and the Department of Education.
No change there then....
Has proven why we are so bollixed up in Blighty, discussing
whether we should consider eating horse meat as a cheaper alternative to beef
in times of austerity, shit for brains Grant Shapps thought he had come up with
a neat explanation for why we do not: namely that we only eat herbivores.
Speaking on BBC One’s Question Time programme, he said this
week’s revelations about the presence of horse DNA in some beef burgers had set
him wondering “why we think some animals are socially acceptable to eat and
others are not.”
The reason, he suggested, boiled down to a simple formula.
“I think the answer is we basically eat animals that don’t
eat animals,” he said. “So we eat animals that eat grass and what have you.”
Ye fucking Gods.....
Have been outdone by a ginger cat named Orlando which won
the investment challenge in the The
Observer portfolio challenge.
Each team invested a notional 5000 pounds ($7600) in five
FTSE All-Share companies at the start of 2012, allowing them to exchange stocks
every three months with others from the index.
Although Orlando was trailing in September, an unexpected
turnaround in the last quarter saw the feline’s portfolio increasing by an
average 4.2 per cent to end the year at 5542.60 pounds, compared with the
professionals’ 5176.60 pounds.
While the professionals stuck to traditional methods,
Orlando selected stocks by throwing a toy mouse on a grid of numbers allocated
to various companies.
To celebrate Orlando's success, owner Jill Insley, bought
him a red collar in the style of Urquhart-Stewart's red braces.
And the other tossers celebrated by going dahn the job centre.
Michael Cooper unearthed a 5.5kg Y shaped gold nugget with a
metal detector near the town of Ballarat in Victoria.
I’m orf to send the butler to check out the garden-just in
case
A teacher could be
struck off for running around naked in front of his stunned pupils.
David Bradley, 55,
who was awarded an MBE for services to young people, streaked across a field in
full view of students aged 12 and 13 during a school camping trip.
The Teaching Agency
has found Bradley guilty of unacceptable professional conduct.
Panel chairman John
Pemberton told him he had “failed to maintain the appropriate boundaries...
between pupils and teachers”.
Bradley was in
charge of 11 youngsters when he ran naked from the barn where the group were
camping.
He told the hearing
in Coventry: “The lads streaked for a joke and said ‘come on, sir, have a go’.
"At the time I
realised it was inappropriate.”
And finally:
Photos: Eli Klein Fine Art
Liu Bolin, the man who took the international art world by ‘storm’,
in 2009, with his incredible ability to merge with the environment, has
returned with a new series that makes him even harder to spot.
Nicknamed the “Invisible Man”, Liu Bolin is a master of
camouflage art who spends up to 10 hours blending into various backdrops, with
the help of paint. He puts on a suit and waits patiently as his helpers cover
him in paint matching the colours of the background, until he becomes almost
impossible to spot. Passionate about his art, this human chameleon he tries to
get every little detail, every crack and crevice just right for that one
perfect snapshot. His latest exhibition, “Hiding in the City”, at New York’s
Eli Klein Art Gallery.
Spiffing; now get a life….
That’s it: I’m
orf to de-stress my cheese plant
And today’s thought:
Snow Joke
Angus
