No mist at the Castle this morn, instead we have sky
water-lots of it, the study is empty of damaged do-hickys, the garden is in
need of a good hoovering to remove all the leaves, the elbow is almost fixed and
his Maj is still bringing me worms.
Next week on the same day that the “Chancellor”, son of a
B....aronet George (alien reptile in
disguise) Osborne, delivers his Autumn Statement on the economy the independent
Office for Budget Responsibility is expected to downgrade its previous prediction
that public sector job cuts will be outweighed by a significant expansion in
the private sector.
Treasury analysis of forecasts by City experts shows that
the number claiming jobseeker's allowance is set to rise from 1.6 million to
1.76 million by 2013 – an increase of 160,000.
So far our beloved “chancellor” has managed to increase borrowing,
increase inflation and increase the number of unemployed.
The members of the unelected Piss Poor Policies Millionaires
Club Coalition are a bunch of useless, arrogant, inept, Wankers who couldn’t
organise an erection in a pole dancing club....
The cost of owning a car has risen by more than £800 a year
over the past 12 months. Drivers have been hit by soaring fuel prices, a rapid
rise in the cost of insurance, higher garage fees and the fall in cars’ resale
value.
As a result motorists are now paying 14 per cent more than
they did a year ago to run their cars; the increase is nearly three times the
rate of inflation.
The figures, produced by the RAC and based on 17 different
new cars, show that the average driver is paying £6,689 a year in motoring
costs, compared with £5,870 in 2010.
According to the RAC pump prices rose by 12.4 per cent last
year, adding £160 to the average driver’s fuel bill.
Insurance has gone up by 14.38 per cent
with the average premium reaching £551. Drivers have found themselves footing
the bill for rising personal injury class, insurance fraud and accidents caused
by uninsured drivers.
Oh dear.....
A wild turkey smashed through a plate glass window at an
empty western Pennsylvania restaurant and ended up where millions of its fellow
gobblers did-on a table.
Penn Hills police Officer Bernard Sestili told the WTAE-TV the feathered fowl didn't survive impact when it barrelled into the dining room of the Eat'n Park in Penn Hills on Thursday afternoon. The restaurant was closed at the time.
Penn Hills police Officer Bernard Sestili told the WTAE-TV the feathered fowl didn't survive impact when it barrelled into the dining room of the Eat'n Park in Penn Hills on Thursday afternoon. The restaurant was closed at the time.
Sestili says he responded when the building's alarm went
off.
He suspects the turkey may have been roosting in a nearby
tree when it "got up this morning and went for his morning flight and flew
into the window."
Stuffed Turkey...
According
to “scientists” looking at naked bodies boosts brain power.
Scientists in
Finland said gazing at nudes activates response regions of the brain and gives
it a tune-up.
They said someone
looking at a picture of a naked or scantily-clad person processed the image in
less than 0.2 seconds, much quicker than the time the brain takes to process a
fully-clothed person and kick-starts the mind.
Participants were
shown pictures of men and women either wearing everyday clothes or nude. Males’
brain responses were stronger to nude female than nude male bodies, whereas the
female participants’ brain responses were not affected by the sex of the
bodies.
No shit.....mind
you it does depend on the nude.....
A man who turned up at hospital with a ring stuck on his
penis had to be cut free by 10 fire-fighters, according to data released today.
It took fire-fighters 20 minutes to remove the ring after
staff at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Woolwich, were unable to prise it from the
man's genitals.
Two fire engines were dispatched to perform the delicate
procedure, which took place on the evening of May 1.
There were three incidents in one year in which fire-fighters
were called to remove a ring stuck on a penis, it was revealed in London Fire
Brigade statistics covering April 2010 to May 2011.
The disclosure is one of 417 incidents attended by London's fire-fighters
over the last year involving people stuck in objects, machinery and furniture
not including road traffic accidents.
The calamities included a man who became stuck in a child's
toy car in Kingston-upon-Thames; a youth wedged in an ironing board in Bromley;
a person with their fingers stuck in a DVD player in Barking; several children
with toilet seats and potties stuck on their heads; and 36 people trapped in
handcuffs.
The removal of rings from fingers accounted for 160
incidents, while 74 people had "other" objects removed. 133 people
had become trapped in or under machinery or other objects, and 14 people were
impaled.
Ah-the good old British eccentric....
A naked woman was left dangling over the edge of a banister
after she tumbled over the handrail while having sex with her husband.
The 49-year-old, who has not been
named, was on holiday in Tenerife at the time of the incident and tumbled while
having sex with her partner in a hotel stairwell.
She dropped several feet and was
only saved from hitting the marble floor below as her ankle was trapped between
two bars.
Her husband
contacted the emergency services and firemen freed the red-faced holidaymaker.
She was taken to hospital where
she was diagnosed with a broken ankle, and to add to the embarrassment, the
sirens on the ambulance weren't working so she had to be given a police escort.
A police
spokesman told the Daily Mail: 'Her good luck was that getting her leg caught
stopped her from falling. Her bad luck was that she broke her ankle, was naked
and couldn't get free.'
He added that
while the couple do not face any police charges, they have been warned to think
about safe sex in the future.
Daft mare-should know better at her age....
That’s it: I’m orf to investigate
composites.
And today’s thought:
Angus
