If: Boeing-Boeing splash: and Fappy wanker.

Medium amounts of lack of cold, maximum amounts of  sod all solar stuff, nary a sniff of atmospheric movement and imminent skywater at the Castle this morn.

Almost a lunar cycle has passed since the last post (where does time go?) and poor old Angus has been doing oodles of stuff-gardening, sorting out, travelling, shopping and much walking.

 

The "news" around Blighty is a bit iffy, it seems that our sports people have not done their best, and dirty old men and the kiddie fiddlers have been having a field day.

 

Minty Andy

 

Managed to fuck up Wimbledon.

 

Nice one Murray...

 

The England football "team"

 

Managed to fuck up the World Cup.

No real surprise there, but although I hate Footballers with a vengeance isn't it about time that

"foreign" players were banned from the leagues, then we might have a chance of gathering a

decent squad.....

 

The Piss Poor Millionaires Club Coalition

 

 

Is about to fuck up a large piece of what used to be the railways by giving £90 million of fare

payers money to all and sundry (I wish) in order to give commuters faster Wi-Fi on chuff-

chuffs in about four years.

Shouldn't "they" use the dosh to make the trains better now?

 

Boris Johnson 

 

 Is just a fuck up, and has decided that cash can no longer be used on any of London's buses in a move that Transport for London (TfL) says will save £24m a year.

Passengers will need a prepaid or concessionary ticket, Oyster card or a contactless payment card to travel.

TfL said only 0.7% of all bus journeys were paid for with cash and that tourists were unlikely to be affected.

 

Yeah right.....

 

Allegedly "Lord" Brittan

 

Has been accused over a historical allegation of rape.

The Independent on Sunday says Lord Brittan, as he is now known, is understood to have been questioned last month about the claim, which relates to an incident in London in 1967.

The Tory peer reportedly strongly denies the allegations.

Lord Brittan, 74, was not an MP at the time of the alleged rape.

 

Oh well that's all fucking right then....

 

Arsehole Aussie

 

Is about to fucked up after being jailed for nearly six years for 12 indecent assaults against four girls - including one aged just seven or eight.

Harris, who was found guilty of offences that took place between 1968 and 1986, was told by the judge he had "no-one to blame but himself".

He displayed no emotion and stared straight ahead as he was jailed.

 

Still can't tell what it is then....

 

"Sir" Paul McCartney

 

Has apparently been fucked up for a couple of months by a "virus" which forced him to take a break from his "tour".

The 72-year-old played an arena in Albany, New York, on Saturday night as part of his Out There tour.

The former Beatle called off the Japan leg of the tour and a South Korea show after falling ill on 16 May and later postponed a number of US dates.

He spent six days in a Tokyo hospital being treated for the viral infection.

Before his illness, Sir Paul had last performed on May 1 in Costa Rica.

 

Shame it wasn't a bit more virulent.

 

Left a lot to Montana

 

 Three Boeing 737 fuselages were fucked up when they tumbled down a steep bank and into the Clark Fork River in western Montana after a train derailed.

Montana Rail Link spokeswoman Lynda Frost said Saturday that it's unclear the type of challenge involved because it's the first time the company has faced such a task.

No one was injured when 19 cars from a westbound train derailed Thursday about 10 miles west of Alberton. The cause of the derailment is under investigation.

The train carried six fuselages. Three others also fell off but stayed on land. Frost says Boeing has had workers at the scene assessing the damage.

The fuselages were headed to Renton, Washington, to be assembled into completed airliners.

 

Or not......

 

And finally:

 

Still in the land of the brave and the home of the free          

 

A mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is 35-year-old Paul Horner, was arrested on Sunday at Metta Yoga in Phoenix after employees notified police about a man with no pants on peering through office windows.

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now spoke with reporters about the future of the organization after this recent setback. “Thanks to your tax dollars, Fappy has helped tens of thousands of adults and children learn to live a masturbation-free lifestyle

Paul Horner is a great man. He’s passionate about his work, he loves being Fappy, he loves the kids. They even have a nickname for him, they call him the tickle monster. But now, all of that is possibly ruined by some trumped-up charges by the Phoenix five-oh, such a shame. I have activated my prayer app and I ask each and every one of you to keep Fappy in your prayers until this incident is resolved. Praise Fappy!”

 

Ironic Wanker....

 

That's it: I'm orf to be ironic.

 

And today's thought:

Must stay away from up Norf for a day or two.

 

 

Angus

Care-less NHS: Redheads, Journalists, Mothers, Bankers and Germans: Transport tossers: The Nerd Calendar: Ex Nazi only takes cash: and Brown runny stuff.

Not quite as much lack of warm bit more atmospheric movement, nary a drop of skywater and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, the butler is happily feeding fat, carbon neutral teenagers onto the furnace conveyer belt and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from under the cover on the garden table and chairs.

Blogger still won't let me post pictures unless I edit in HMTL, which takes ages and is a real pain in the rear exit (just like Blogger), I know because I have just spent an hour or so editing this post.

And it keeps freezing up and crashing due to some "long running script"


Anyway here is Fridays load of old bollocks...

 

Apparently U-Turn Cam

 

Has finally admitted that piss poor “treatment” in our ‘Orspitals is killing and maiming the not so well.

The Prime Monster reckons that there is still a "long way to go" to raise standards of care in the NHS in England, and that he wanted to make improving care one of his top priorities for 2012 plus one.

But he insisted progress was being made, pointing to initiatives that were being rolled out.

He highlighted a new "friends and family" test starting in April and the extra ward rounds being put in place.

The "friends and family" test, which has already been announced, involves all hospital patients being asked whether they would recommend the place they were treated in.

Mr Cameron described it as a "flashing light" to alert hospitals if fewer people started replying positively to the test.

 
Which is total bollocks of course because when you are lying there in a piss soaked bed with tubes in most orifices you are not going to tell the “medics” that are “treating” you how badly they are doing as they stand there holding an eight foot tube ready to shove it up your rear exit.

Try again Dave....

 

All across backed up Blighty
 

Every weekend in January, one of these five groups will receive 10pc off full-price bottles at Oddbins.

According to the company blog  "The 'cap' on maternity and paternity pay is just an innovative use of a three letter word beginning with 'c' which sounds different but still means 'cut'," the group writes. "With inflation almost tripling the capped figure, the net result is that mums and their families will be even worse off in 2013.

"On top of which, on Monday the government will be removing or reducing child benefit for approximately 15pc of families... Why can’t our politicians provide a childcare system that doesn’t strong-arm a hugely important part of the county’s workforce into making a choice between their career and children?"

From January 11 until January 13 it's the turn of bankers and journalists. Urging the public to focus on the "good things that banks do", Oddbins bemoans the fact that the word "banker" has "become a derogatory term used to refer to only a select group of rogue investment bankers".

The following weekend (January 18-20) Angela Merkel could grab a bargain. On top of praising the German Chancellor for steering her country through the financial crisis and striving to bring fellow eurozone countries back into line, Oddbins also says it's time the UK moved on from the Second World War.

Lastly, Oddbins is aiming to break "the final taboo" and embrace redheads. "We love your hair and think 2013 should be the year we all put this nonsense behind us," the company states.

 

No wonder it is called “Odd Bins”; just what we need- a bunch of German, red headed, journalistic, banker mothers staggering about pissed as farts...

 

Transport across the world

Has its fair share of Pillocks.

Thank him/her upstairs for the AA.

 

East a bit to the land of red headed banker mothers

A calendar for nerds who find old computers a turn on has been created by technology fans in Germany.

The Nerd Calendar features ancient technology being fondled by models dressed as gorgeous geeks.

One blonde is seen lovingly caressing the joystick of a classic Atari games computer during the photo session in Frankfurt.

Other models get to grips with 1970s and 80s computers like the original Apple Macs, Commodores, and the Sinclair ZX81.

Classic computer fan Jan Kaufmann - who dreamed up the calendar - explained: "I just wanted to make the kind of calendar I'd always dreamed about when I was a boy."

 

Get a fucking life Herr twat....

 

East a bit more to a state within a country

 

Visitors to the home of the Ex-Nazi El Papa can only pay by cash after card payments for museum tickets, souvenirs and other services were blocked by Italy's central bank over money laundering fears.

The tiny city-state can no longer use electronic payments because the Holy See has not complied with European Union safeguards against money laundering.

As a result, Deutsche Bank Italia, which has provided the Vatican with the electronic payment services for 15 years, had its authorisation halted on December 31.

Highlights of the Vatican Museums include the Sistine Chapel

The Vatican says it is working to rectify the situation affecting thousands of tourists that flock to the Vatican Museums, which include highlights like the Sistine Chapel.

The museums, and tours of the Vatican’s ancient underground paces, with their entrance fees and popular souvenir shops, are a big money-maker for the Vatican.

Tourists have complained about the inconvenience. Fluger William Hunter, an American tourist, said: "A lot of tourists don't have cash on them, so they have to get Euros and don't know where to get them."

The central bank said a routine inspection found that Deutsche Bank Italia had not sought authorisation when it first started providing services at the Vatican, according to the Corriere della Sera newspaper.

 

And finally:

 

Somewhere in a physiotherapy dept at a Norovirus infected NHS ‘Orspital

 

That’s it: I’m orf to purchase a “Larry” (just in case)
 

 

And today’s thought:

So how much discount did you get at Oddbins....

Angus

Chuffin U-Turn cam: Taxing retirement: The wheels on the Ford: Parallel parking: Lazy anti lazy training: and Shoddy Aylesbury.

Oodles of the white crusty stuff at the Castle this morn, the furnace is replete with fat teenagers, the study is nicely inhabited with uncooperative computers and his Maj is curled up on a chair next to a radiator. 

After finally growing at least one gonad

Our beloved Prime Monster has gorn orf the rails, according to U-Turn Cam Britain cannot afford to miss out on new high speed rail links from the capital to Manchester, Birmingham, Leeds and other cities.

He reckons that- “If we want to be a world-beating country with world-beating businesses I think it is the right answer to be looking at high speed rail,” he said, during an event for DHL Express workers in Hounslow.

“Of course it’s difficult and you have to spend a lot of money on tunnels and making sure the people who live on the line get compensation. But if you want to take on the best economies in the world, you’ve got to have the best transport systems in the world and I think that means some high speed rail.” 

Here’s an idea-leave the piss poor railway system as it is and spend the £32,500,000,000 on housing, helping companies and training for the people of the North East instead....

Because 32 and a half billion is a lot to pay for twenty minutes or so less travelling time, and planes are faster......

It seems that that the knob at the top of HMRC is orf

Dave Hartnett will retire in the summer of 2012, HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) has announced.

From January, the permanent secretary of tax, who turns 61 in February, will work with a new HMRC chief executive - Lin Homer.

Last month, Mr Hartnett admitted to a committee of MPs that mistakes had been made in a tax deal negotiated by HMRC with Goldman Sachs.

And in September last year, he apologised to 1.4 million people who were receiving letters revealing an underpayment of tax. This came hours after a refusal to apologise brought severe criticism.

Wonder what his pension will be.....

Across the briny on the left

 Ford Motor Co recalled nearly 129,000 Ford Fusion and Mercury Milan sedans in the United States citing a risk that the wheels may fall off, U.S. safety regulators said on Friday.

These cars, from the model year 2010 and 2011, are equipped with 17-inch steel wheels. Ford said the wheel studs may fracture, causing the car to shake. If ignored, the wheels may fall off while the car is moving, according to a posting on the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration website.

The problems may be caused by steel wheel mounting pads or rear brake discs that have been incorrectly built and cannot properly support the wheel, Ford said.

As of September 30, Ford has found one case when the front wheel fell off and five cases where the rear wheel dropped off that are possibly due to these problems.

The cars were built at the Hermosillo stamping and assembly plant in Mexico from April 2009 and from December 2009 through November 13, 2010. Cars with alloy wheels are not affected.

Ford said 128,616 cars are affected by the recall.

Bloody lazy Mexicans......

And up a bit to the big fruit

  

Not so much parallel parking more of a mugging.

West even further until it becomes East

Five Chinese officials have been suspended from their jobs after they were observed sleeping or reading newspapers during a video conference on stamping out laziness at work, state media reported Friday.

The officials, all high-level workers at tax bureau in the northern province of Shanxi, were supposed to be participating in a meeting to push better work discipline, the official Xinhua news agency reported.

It did not say for how long they would be suspended.

The campaign is to remind officials they cannot leave their posts, play games or "attend recreational activities" during office hours, Xinhua added.

Bloody lazy Chinese....

And finally:

Back in lonely Blighty

Up a bit to the posh part, a council Christmas display was described as "embarrassing" as faulty lights left Santa with no face, a reindeer with one antler and the town of Aylesbury described as a "great lace to live".

Faulty lights in Aylesbury town centre, Buckinghamshire, have been erected with several malfunctions, which have led to the £27,000 display being called the shabbiest in Britain.

It includes reindeer with only one antler and one leg as well as Santa without a face.

Once darkness falls, one sign describes the town as "a great lace to be" while another declares "seasns eets" from Aylesbury Vale District Council

 

The joys of Crimbo.

That’s it: I’m orf to do a bit of Nano carving.

And today’s thought:

Angus

IS IT ME OR ARE WE BECOMING WHIMPS?

Over the last four days schools have closed because of “the weather”.

“Hundreds of schools have closed in England, Wales and Scotland following the latest heavy snowfall.

Worst affected is Wales where 600 schools have shut, and as much as 5 - 10cm (2 - 4in) of snow is predicted to fall across southern and mid-Wales.

Around Bristol 200 schools were also reported to have closed for the day.
Other counties affected include Shropshire, Derbyshire, Lincolnshire, Norfolk, Devon, Northamptonshire, Staffordshire, and Leicestershire.

Snow has also hit the north of Scotland, where many schools have closed and roads are blocked.

In Aberdeenshire and Aberdeen, more than 150 schools are shut. Grampian Police have warned people only to make essential journeys.

Powys council said it took the decision to close all its schools after taking weather advice, and to "remove any uncertainty".”

This has led of course to thousands of parents having to take time off work to look after them, and has cost hundreds of millions to businesses.

Are they closed because it is too dangerous for the children to walk to school or too dangerous for the parents to drive the kids to school, or too dangerous for the teachers to drive to work?

I may sound like on old fart but, when I was at school we walked a mile or so in snow much deeper than it is now, the teachers all managed to get to work and the parents managed to get to their employment.

Has the “nanny society” finally managed to crush any form of initiative and pride of kids, parents and teachers?

Or is it just that the “I can’t be bothered” ideology is pervasive among children and adults?

After all it is easier and safer to walk in deepish snow than it is in just a scattering, countries such as Alaska, Norway, Sweden and other northern states manage, and their weather is far worse than ours, and over a longer period.

Have we become defeatist, no buses running in London, no trains running, motorways blocked up, main roads impassable and side roads unusable?

Are we wimps or is it a basic failure of local councils and Westminster?

I don’t know, but I would like to.

“Winter lies too long in country towns; hangs on until it is stale and shabby, old and sullen.” - Willa Sibert Cather


Angus

NHS: Angus Dei blogs


Angus Dei politico