Feeling a bit horse: Surviving-at a price: Women wear the pants in Paris: Fast chuff-chuff—big brakes: and Dear, dear Mr Bean.

The suns not out, the sky’s not blue, there’s loads of clouds to spoil the view but who gives a shit, I’m warm and dry at the Castle this morn.

Not posted properly for a while, my one remaining left handed brain cell seemed to have run out of alphabet and went into standby mode, but after eating a couple of Findus lasagnes from Tesco my “mind” is racing I seem to be back on the gallop with the bit between my teef, full of unbridled enthusiasm and it looks like you are saddled with me for a while.

 

And talking of equine entrées

 

It seems that the secretary for the environment is to meet representatives from the Food Standards Agency and meat retailers and suppliers to discuss the horsemeat scandal.

Owen Paterson said investigations into how beef products had been contaminated with horsemeat were ongoing but "the evidence so far suggests... its either criminal activity or gross negligence".

Tesco, Aldi and Findus have all had to withdraw food products.

Food minister David Heath said frozen food should not be discarded, and advised consumers to carry on eating meat unless told otherwise.

The FSA has asked UK firms to test all processed beef foods, but said it did not "suspect there is any health issue with frozen food".

And Mr Heath said the government's advice was "exactly that" of the FSA.

 

That’s good because I like horses-roasted, grilled, fried, minced and especially anti inflamed....

 But if you are into dobbin dinners here are a couple of cheap, tasty recipes:

Pot-au-feu de cheval (horse stew)

Take meat of the second class (flank, topside, collar), place in cold water and cook over a gentle fire, removing the foam and grease as you bring it to the boil. Add salt, a clove of garlic, caramelised onion and a colouring of vegetables, such as leek, turnip, celery, cabbage etc. Leave to cook for seven or eight hours on a moderate fire.

Cheval à la Parisienne

Cook turnips in horse grease; add boiled horsemeat in thin rashers, with salt and pepper; wet with a little horse bouillon; add parsley, chives or shallots, and a dash of vinegar.

 

Num,num, num....

 

West to the home of the second amendment and the land of the citadel

A group of survivalists is inviting people to apply for places in a walled, medieval-style city it wants to build in the woods of northern Idaho.

The proposed fortress community, where residents would be required to own weapons and stand ready to defend the compound if society collapses, would have room inside for up to 7,000 families.

The citadel's promoter, Christian Kerodin was convicted in 2004 on federal extortion charges, and on charges that he illegally possessed a firearm when he posed as a counter-terrorism expert trying to coerce shopping mall owners to hire him to improve security.

He served 30 months in federal prison.

Apparently the compound's primary goal is defending "against a grid-down economic collapse scenario".

Residents would be required to stock enough food and water to last a year.

A 1,200sq ft house in the citadel would cost $686 (£438) a month, whether it was located within or outside the compound's walls.

Allegedly several hundred people have already paid a $208 (£133) fee to apply to live there.

The on-site gun factory would manufacture semi-automatic pistols and AR-15-style rifles, the type of weapon used in the December massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut,

 

Ah, the old Idaho survivalist I want your money ploy....

 

East to the capital of neighburgers

It seems that after many, many years “ladies” will finally be allowed to wear trousers in “gay” Paris.

A French politician has now decriminalised potentially thousands of Parisian women by saying that the law is incompatible with modern French values.

Najat Vallaud-Belkacem, the minister for women's rights, said in a statement that while the order had not been taken off the statutes, it had been made irrelevant by changes in French law.

She said: "This order was aimed, first of all, at limiting the access of women to certain offices or occupations by preventing them from dressing in the manner of men.

"This order is incompatible with the principles of equality between women and men. From that incompatibility stems the implicit abrogation of the order."

City chiefs had originally issued the order in 1800 forcing women to seek permission from police if they wanted to "dress like a man".

The order was later amended in 1892 and 1909 to allow women to wear trousers if they were "holding a bicycle handlebar or the reins of a horse."

 

Or a burger, lasagne, sausage or any other part of an  equus ...

 

Even further East to the land of non-existent radiation

 

A Japanese railway company on Friday unveiled a new Shinkansen bullet train featuring an improved brake system that can reduce the stopping distance to 300-400 meters while speeding at 270 kilometres per hour.

The Central Japan Railway Company said the upgraded brake system would enhance safety during emergencies like earthquakes.

A large number of railway users witnessed the departure of the company's first upgraded train -- N700A -- from the Tokyo station on Friday morning, Japan's NHK broadcaster reported.

The new model's top speed remains at 270 kilometres per hour, but its improved brake system can reduces its stopping distance from top speed by 300 to 400 meters while the current model requires three to four kilometres to stop.

The railway has been focusing on faster speeds to reduce travel time between Tokyo and Osaka, but the new model instead emphasizes safety in the event of earthquakes or other contingencies, when stopping time is crucial in avoiding serious accidents.

The new model's computer-controlled system also maintains a constant speed regardless of terrain. The company plans to operate the new train between Osaka and Hakata in western Japan also from March 16.

 

Spiffing 167.77 MPH to zero in 437.445319 yards; hope they have installed airbags....

 

And finally:

 

A year after Mr Bean piled up his £3.5 million motor

And more than 900,000 pounds Rowan Atkinson’s McLaren F1 is back on the road, Ben Stagg, specialty insurer with RK Harrison, said the quality components used to make an F1 are one reason the repair costs were so high.

All modern supercars are predominantly carbon fibre - most Lamborghinis, most Ferraris - and the smallest ding in carbon fibre is a big repair job," he said. "And part of the engine bay is gold, that's the best heat conductor. It's the materials they used compared to everyday cars that make it so expensive."

He said many owners baby their expensive cars, driving them only a few times a year in perfect weather conditions, but Atkinson actually drives his McLaren extensively.

The unusual repair job, thought to involve one of the largest car insurance settlements in British history, is extensively documented in Classic & Sports Car magazine, with a picture of the burgundy McLaren on the cover.

Atkinson, last seen by many playing piano as Mr. Bean during the opening ceremony of the London Olympics, told the magazine he believes supercars should be used, not sequestered in garages.

"It depresses me when great cars are hidden away," he said. "It's a crime not to use it."

 

Funny that, the last motor I had that was damaged had a crack in the bumper-and was written orf, must be using the wrong insurance company...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to avoid some Elephants

 

Today’s thought:

one way to cut the cost of funerals

 

 

 

And today’s mellow melody-or neigh as the case may be

 

 

Angus  

Wanker Bankers deferred bonuses: Mind your manners: Hog nosed skunk: Chuffin bonkers: and Cruising to save the world.

Oodles of lack of warm, nary a sprinkle of white fluffy stuff, absence of atmospheric movement and less sunny stuff than you could shake a solar panel at, at the Castle this morn, the butler is loading up the furnace conveyer belt with gangs of fat, carbon neutral teenagers and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from the top of the wardrobes.

And it seems that up Norf the wevver has not been as clement, which will please the school kiddlies no end.

And after a week and three days Blogger still hasn’t sorted out the IE/photos problem.

 

And as our standard of living quickly sinks into the mire of piss poor policies 

 

Pressure is building on Son of a.......Baronet and alien reptile in disguise George (let the plebs starve to death) Osborne tonight to introduce emergency measures to prevent big city banks from deferring multi-million pound bonus payments to their UK staff until after the 50p top rate of tax is abolished in April.

Allegedly Goldman Sachs was one of a number of city institutions looking at pushing back the pay-out date for deferred bonuses awarded in 2010, 2011 and 2012 until after April 6 when the top rate of income tax drops to 45p.

A number of foreign banks are also understood to be considering a similar move to (allegedly) Goldman. Bankers at state backed Royal Bank of Scotland will also benefit because it regularly pays bonuses in June.

 While the Treasury; run by the ginger headed rodent said matters of tax compliance was “for HMRC” and that they did not comment on the tax affairs of individual companies.

 

But do not forget-WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.....

 

Apparently the female of our species are a suspicious lot 

 

According to Mark Hall, Gentleman Creation Officer for Socked.co.uk "Men's standards have slipped so far over recent years that any offer of chivalry from a gentleman knocks a woman off their guard and is viewed with outright suspicion.

The survey carried out by the online service, which helps men to dress well and offers free tips on etiquette, revealed just how much women rejected chivalrous behaviour.

The survey said:

82% of women said they would prefer to pay for their dinner on a first date

52% said they would happily pay for the entire bill on a first date

89% of women said they would not take up the offer from a man to carrying their bag

78% would not accept a coat from a man on a cold day

Only 34% of women said they expect men to open doors for them

8% said they would take up the offer of a seat if a man offered. In London, this figure was only 2 per cent.

 

The survey also came up with some surprising answers:

98% said they would like to be bought flowers, but only 32% had actually received flowers in the past twelve months

41% of women agreed men should be able to wear dresses

 

Oh dear, but at least we can wear a frock....

 

West to the home of the Big Country and the land of smelly animals 

 

A group of rafters camping along the river in August was headed for bed when they noticed a black-and-white animal in the bushes near one of their tents. Jen Hiebert grabbed her camera, zoomed in and took some pictures.

When the rafters didn't see the skunk listed as one of the animals found at the Grand Canyon, Hiebert sent photos and a note to the National Park Service.

"It was just walking through the canyon, totally ignored us and was just digging away in the sand," said Hiebert, of Moscow, Idaho. "I'm not sure what it was after."

Grand Canyon biologists later confirmed the group's suspicion that it was a hog-nosed skunk.

At first, officials weren't sure whether the skunk was merely visiting the area, or if they should to add it to the list of about 90 mammals that live in the national park. They decided that by listing it - even as extremely rare - people might be on the lookout for more of the skunks, and that could help biologists determine how prevalent they are in the park.

 

U-Turn Cam isn’t in the ex-colonies by any chance is he?

 

Up a bit to what is one of our colonies

 

Canadian Jason Schron loves VIA trains so much that he actually spent four and a half years and $10,000 building his own genuine replica of a 1980s VIA train cart, accurate down to the tiniest details, right in the basement of his home, in Vaughan, Ontario. 

Not bad for $10,000 Canadian Dollars or £9.50 in proper money.

 

In a galaxy far, far away

 

Astronomers have discovered the largest known structure in the universe – a group of quasars so large it would take 4 billion years to cross it while travelling at speed of light.

The immense scale also challenges Albert Einstein’s Cosmological Principle, the assumption that the universe looks the same from every point of view, researchers said.

Quasars are believed to be the brightest objects in the universe, with light emanating from the nuclei of galaxies from the early days of the universe and visible billions of light-years away.

“Since 1982 it has been known that quasars tend to group together in clumps or ‘structures’ of surprisingly large sizes, forming large quasar groups or LQGs,” the society said.

This newly discovered large quasar group has a dimension of 500 megaparsecs, each megaparsec measuring 3.3 million light-years.

Because the LQG is elongated, its longest dimension is 1,200 megaparsecs, or 4 billion light-years, the society said.

That size is 1,600 times larger than the distance from Earth’s Milky Way to the nearest galaxy, the Andromeda.

 

Old Albert will be spinning in his cryogenic chamber.

 

And finally:

 

Back to the home of barmy and the land of Scientology 

According to a ‘bombshell’ new book, “Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & The Prison of Belief” Tom Cruise who is number 3 in the Hubbard hierarchy will save the world from aliens, he has signed a billion-year contract of service with the Church of Scientology, the book details Cruise’s demigod status within the church, as well as the group’s ultimate purpose — protect humanity from aliens living in our bodies, who are bent on destroying us and ultimately the planet.

 

Billion year contract-I do like an optimist....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to keep an eye on Java 

And today’s thought:

RBS car park. 

 

Angus