Contemporary justice: blow up sleeping policeman: the magic log: Weymouth wanker: and a rodent in a manhole.

Vast amounts of lack of warm stuff, oodles of wet stuff and quite a lot of atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, but not as bad as yester-aftermorn when lakefuls of skywater descended for several hours accompanied by big noisy bangs and mega kilowatts of free Leccy.

His Maj was out at the time hunting for frogs and came in looking like an exploded ken Dodd.

Somewhere in backward Blighty

A graduate who likened being asked to stack shelves in Poundland through a Government employment scheme to slave labour is not living in the modern world, a senior judge ruled.

Mr Justice Foskett expressed incredulity at an attempt to use human rights laws designed to combat “colonial” exploitation to challenge a Government back-to-work initiative.

He said arguments advanced on behalf of Cait Reilly, an unemployed geology graduate, were a “long way from contemporary thinking”.

The judge was speaking as he dismissed a legal challenge to two key employment schemes involving unpaid work on behalf of Miss Reilly and Jamieson Wilson, an unemployed HGV driver from Nottingham.

The irritable bowel twins Iain Duncan Smith, the work and pensions secretary, welcomed the judgment and accused those who campaigned against the schemes as being “opposed to hard work”.

I’m in two minds about this-

The Government back-to-work initiative is a good idea

-oh no it isn’t

-oh yes it is

-how can you say that unemployed people working for nothing is acceptable in the twenty first century?

Because it gives then some idea of what it is like to work and begins to form a “work ethic” in their lives.

But doesn’t it take advantage of the unemployed?

No, they are still paid their piss poor benefits but it puts them into the workplace with the very slim chance of a permanent job.

But wouldn’t the money be better spent on training?

Yes; maybe they should change the name of the scheme to “get orf your overeducated arse and sort your lives out initiative”

But what about those who have no qualifications?

They could be on the “stop watching daytime TV and emigrate to somewhere warmer initiative”

My brain hurts-Must take a tablet.....

East more than oodles to the land which has many, many athletes

In order to stop speeding motorists a fed-up pensioner has bought a blow up doll and dressed it in sexy red lingerie so motorists would slow down to take a look.

An accident black spot has had the number of crashes reduced after a blow-up sex doll was tied to a tree in a bid to slow drivers down.

The 67-year-old purchased the inflatable sex toy and added a few slinky additions to ensure it caught the attention of drivers.

"There are a set of traffic lights near my house and the cars just shoot through them as fast as they can," explained Chen.

"It's very dangerous.

"The police aren't interested so I bought this doll and tied it to the tree.

"I thought that drivers would slow down if I could give them something worth looking it."

Police admit that accident figures have dropped since Chen started to make a dummy of the speeding drivers.

Surprised she has the puff at 67....

Still in the Eastern part of the world

A 13-meter (42-foot) log has been the main attraction in Cambodia’s Pursat province for a couple of days now.

According to village chief Hun Nov “They believe the log has magical powers, about 100 people come every day to visit the log to ask for lottery numbers or to cure their sickness”

Visitors even bring offerings such as pig’s heads or whole boiled chickens.

The log first made news after several locals had touched it and won the lottery.


Probably better odds than our lucky dip….

Back in barmy Blighty

And dahn to the place where little plastic things float about powered by atmospheric movement acting on big bits of nylon.

Fire-fighters say they saved a flat from destruction after its domestically challenged resident tried to dry his wet socks and underwear in a microwave oven.

The Dorset Fire and Rescue Service said fire-fighters rescued the man from his home and extinguished the kitchen blaze Monday.

The fire destroyed the appliance along with the two pairs of underwear and socks inside it, and caused smoke damage to the apartment in Weymouth, a town on England's southwest coast.

"The fire safety message here is to never put clothing of any kind in the microwave or an oven to attempt to dry them," the Dorset fire-fighters said in a statement.

I do appreciate a proper Numpty...



And finally:

Right a smidge to the land of BMW boxes

Police in northern Germany used olive oil to free an animal trapped in a manhole cover.

Police spokeswoman Kathrin Feyerabend said Monday a woman on the outskirts of Hannover discovered the red squirrel Sunday after hearing its cries.,

Its head was poking up above ground through a hole in a manhole cover, its body dangling beneath.

After unsuccessfully trying to push the head back through gently, police officers removed the cover and rubbed olive oil around the squirrel's neck.

Holding back its small tufted ears, they were able to successfully release it.

But Feyerabend says the happy ending was short lived - the squirrel died several hours later, likely from stress.

A red squirrel up your manhole-no wonder it died….



That’s it: I’m orf to buy a “proper” book.

And today’s thought:

Soon to be unemployed get free tickets-Olympics

Angus

Pie in the sky: Sideboard on the tube: ‘Proportionate Justice’: Polish Pilchard: The ‘Master Bait Shop’: Pilfered Pig: and Charlie’s toast.

Dull, damp, dingy and a definite lack of height in the liquid metal gauge at the Castle this morn, apparently the brats are about to start the endless “summer” holidays-oh joy, but it will give the butler oodles of new fat, carbon neutral teenagers for the furnace as non-summer approaches.

The interweb thingy is behaving-just.

Left to the Lone Star State

As “work”  on the £3.5 bn £7bn ‘Queen Elizabeth” class harrier-less aircraft carriers staggers on Defence Secretary Phillip Hammond flew out in person to Fort Worth, Texas, for the official handover ceremony of the first ‘F35 stealth fighter’ from its US manufacturer Lockheed Martin.

According to Phil it’s "the best warplane money can buy" and at £100 million per pop is “is money well spent".

A few facts:

It is the heaviest and most expensive of the three versions of the plane, carrying a lift fan propulsion system for its "jump jet" capability, which it needs to land on the Royal Navy's new carriers.

The Harrier had a range of 300 nautical miles, for the F-35 it is 450 miles. While the Harrier could reach a speed of 650mph, the F-35 can fly much faster - more than 1,200mph.

The Harrier had no radar transparency or stealth capabilities, but the F-35 has both. Its acute angles and special coating make it difficult to detect on any enemy radar.

The US is spending around $400bn (£254bn) to buy 2,500 F-35s for the navy, air force and marine corps.

It is estimated that the total cost of buying, operating and maintaining the planes over the next 30 years will be $1tn. 

The F35 - which will be called the "Lightning II" by the RAF and Royal Navy - is still a long way off from being battle ready.

Though British pilots have already been involved in the test flying programme, they will not be flying the plane off UK bases or the two new aircraft carriers until 2018.

And it is still not clear how many planes the UK will buy.

Mr Hammond has so far committed to purchasing only 48.

The good news:

The tail section of every plane is being made by BAE Systems. Overall the UK has a 15% share of the work, enough to sustain more than 20,000 jobs.

The hope at the Ministry of Defence is that, with time, the cost of the plane will come down and the technical problems will be resolved - and that, in the end, this will not go down in history as another expensive MoD mistake.

I do like an optimist...

  

Back in the Smoke

The Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition sideboard is apparently up in arms after being ordered to use public transport rather than official Government cars to get to events at the London Games, The Independent has learnt.

Downing Street has banned ministers from taking cars altogether, fearing bad publicity if ministers are caught using special Olympic "ZiL" lanes (named after the limousine lanes used by Soviet leaders) while everyone else crams on to the Tube.

The Government has spent nearly £750,000 buying 8,815 Olympic tickets, including 213 for the opening ceremony, 143 for the closing ceremony and 257 athletics tickets.

Nearly £30,000 has been spent on diving tickets and a further £26,600 went on 411 beach volleyball tickets.

One Cabinet minister told The Independent: "This has caused a lot of ill-feeling and frankly some of us would rather not be going to anything at all.

"The rules are unbelievably draconian. We've basically been told we're on our own and have to look after our guests with no official support and we'll have to go by Tube as well.

Oh dear, what a shame....

Still in topsy-turvy Blighty

Allegedly criminals arrested for offences such as minor assaults, theft and fraud could escape prosecution in the biggest shake-up of charging guidelines for 20 years.

It seems that prosecutors would take no further action on suspects if they do not believe it is “proportionate” to take them to court, under proposals published yesterday.

It would mean factors such as cost and the length of a likely trial being taken into consideration when deciding whether to charge an offender.

Prosecutors would even be asked to weigh such issues against the likely punishment a criminal would get if convicted.

Prosecutors would also need to consider “effective case management” to avoid “excessively, long and complex proceedings”. That could mean individuals on the edge of a complicated fraud case not being charged so prosecutors could concentrate on the key participants in a shorter trial.

So justice is to become “proportional” to the cost of prosecution-allegedly....

Right a bit to the land with no plumbers or builders

A dopey truck driver caused caused an enormous traffic jam after he spilled 24 tons of sardines onto the road because he forget to close the back door.

Motorists along the highway near Kolobrzeg, Poland, were held up for hours while workers cleared up the huge trail of fish which had been scattered for several hundred metres along both sides of the road.

Police say the fish came from a transporter driven by trucker Jakub Carowski, 26, who had failed to shut the back doors properly.

As well as a £50 fine, the driver has to fork out a further £5,000 to pay for clearing up the road. 

An act of Cod, the scales of justice or just a pilchard?

Left to the home of the angler and the land of hook-ers

In the town of Orange a new business is not welcome, and it's not because of what they're selling, it's because of their name.

"The name is Orange County Master Bait Shop," shop owner Michael DeClue said. DeClue says he chose it to be memorable. He says whatever innuendo people want to make out of it is their business.

The topic came up at Monday night's town council meeting. The town's mayor says there isn't much they can do, and they're happy to have him. "You're not in violation of any ordinance. God bless you for being in business in the town of Orange," Mayor Chuck Mason said.

That means the self-proclaimed "home of the fattest worm in town," will stay open.

"We're the only bait shop that makes its own chicken livers. We produce our own worms. We package our own worms, and that's what we do," DeClue said. "That's why we're a master bait shop."

Time to change hands methinks....

Still in the hot, dry collection of States

Police are on the lookout for a plump pig sculpture that was pilfered from a Detroit suburb are getting closer to finding the missing swine.

The Garden City Downtown Development Authority said Thursday that those possibly responsible for taking the shiny, red sculpture known as "Willy" or "Willie" last month led them to near Mallard Lake. It's in Livingston County's Green Oak Township, about 35 miles northwest of Detroit.

The base of the sculpture was found in a field along with other fragments. Police say they believe the pig also was ditched in the area, but someone else took it away.

The $6,000-plus sculpture titled "Cochon Rouge" by artist Sophie Marie had been leased to the Downtown Development Authority for two years.

A $500 reward is being offered in the case.

Piggin tealeaves....

And finally:

Back in not so toasty Blighty

Two bidders fought it out over the telephone for the slice of white toast which is believed to have been served to Prince Charles on the morning of his wedding to Diana Spencer. It went under the hammer at Charles Hanson Auctioneers overnight.

The winning bidder paid $350 for the 30-year-old memento.

A spokeswoman for the auction house said: "The slice of toast went to a UK buyer. There were two telephone bidders fighting it out for the slice. It was exciting.

The slice of toast was sold on behalf of Rosemarie Smith, from Derby.

She took it from a tray after visiting her daughter at Buckingham Palace just hours before the royal wedding.

The 83-year-old said: "At the time my daughter was a maid at the Palace and one of her duties was to collect Prince Charles's breakfast tray from outside his room.

"I was with her in the corridor and saw that Prince Charles had left some toast on the tray. I had been thinking about a keepsake from the wedding and saw the toast and thought to myself 'Why not?"'

She kept the toast in a cup on a shelf at home until the last year wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton made her curious about its value.

Now she knows; you could almost buy a whole loaf for £222.83 ($350) dahn Tesco’s....

That’s it: I’m orf to wake up a few NEETS

And today’s thought:
 F35 test flight

Angus

A ripping yarn: Dim explorers: One million reasons to get sacked: Offal idea: Gnome on the roam: Rat snack: Bunny Numpty: and the 0.0001pc fine.

Nice again at the Castle this morn, didn’t get much sleep last dark thing-too hot and in agony from toothache so orf to the Dentist later to have it pulled, if  they carry on disappearing at this rate I will have to change my “name” to Juanita Dei.....

I see that it is “silly week” again-normal for this blog...

Apparently we have all been breaking the law by ripping songs from CDs or films from DVDs for “personal” use.

But all is well-the Gov is going to legalise “format shifting” and it might even relax rules on parody and create an agency to licence copyrighted content.

That’s alright then...

And according to “experts”

Internet Explorer users have a lower than average IQ, according to research by Consulting firm AptiQuant.

The study gave web surfers an IQ test, and then plotted their scores against the browser they used.

IE surfers were found to have an average IQ lower than people using Chrome, Firefox and Safari. Users of Camino and Opera rated highest.

Must put “IQ” into the search box in IE9.......

It seems that Sharon Shoesmith could be in line for a massive compensation payout following the ruling that she was unfairly sacked following the Baby P tragedy.

Lawyers argued that Ms Shoesmith, 58, had been the victim of “a flagrant breach of natural justice” and that she had been driven from her £133,000-a-year post in December 2008 by a media witch hunt and political pressure.

They asked Lord Neuberger, Master of the Rolls, sitting in London with Lord Justice Maurice Kay and Lord Justice Stanley Burnton, to rule that her sacking without compensation was so legally flawed as to be null and void, and that she still remained entitled to her full salary and pension from Haringey up to the present day.

Allowing her challenge, the judges ruled that both Mr Balls and Haringey had acted too hastily and in a way that was “procedurally unfair” because Ms Shoesmith had not been given a proper chance to put her case. 

Good old British “justice”.

Allegedly Students could pay off debts by selling kidneys

Sue Rabbitt Roff said that paying live donors would encourage more to come forward and so shorten waiting lists, as three people currently die every day because they were unable to receive a transplant.

She claimed that it would not be “such a big step” from current systems, whereby medical research subjects are paid wages and workers who lose organs receive compensation, and would avoid the black market that exists in other countries.

They should be paid £28,000 for their organs, according to an academic who claims the move could help students pay off their university debts.

Really, really offal idea.

Over to the State of loads of teeth

A Stolen 136kg gnome roamed home overnight, six days after it went missing from its owner's Massachusetts home.

Joan Walton, 77, noticed the cement gnome was missing last Friday, along with another statue of a mushroom.

"I just can't believe someone would do something like this," Ms Walton told The Boston Globe at the time.

In an effort to help, Ms Walton's niece and a family friend decided to make a four-by-eight-foot sign for her lawn that said, "Bring our gnome home and his friend the mushroom.

The gnome was in the process of being painted when it was stolen. Ms Walton told the Globe it was fat, with a yellow shirt, green pants, black shoes and a rounded face with a white beard.

On Saturday, Ms Walton found the mushroom sitting on the wall in front of her house. But there was no sign of the gnome.

That all changed overnight. The gnome is home, according to myFOXboston.com.

 He came for a visit to the Castle.

Over in the big bit below Europe

A species of rat coats itself in deadly toxin that it obtains by gnawing on a poisonous tree, scientists have discovered.

The crested rat, Lophiomys imhausi, from east Africa, is the first mammal known to acquire lethal toxin from a plant. 

That’s lunch orf then....

Back in the land of last minute decisions and the home of big deficits

Police in Idaho Falls said on Tuesday they have told a 34-year-old man to stop wearing a bunny suit in public after residents complained that he has been frightening children.

Police warned Idaho Falls resident William Falkingham after a woman said she saw him dressed in the costume, peeking at her young son from behind a tree and pointing his finger like a gun, according to a police report.

An investigation of the sighting led officers to question other neighbours, "who expressed that they were greatly disturbed by Falkingham and his bunny suit," the report said.

Neighbours also reported that Falkingham occasionally wears a tutu with the bunny suit, police said in a statement.

Told him to hop it I suppose....

 And finally:

North of Watford

Jacqueline McDonald the postmistress who stole nearly £100,000 has been fined—£1, she admitted multiple counts of theft and false accounting at the branch she ran.

Jailed for 18 months in January, the mum-of-three was released after four-and-a-half months.

At a Proceeds of Crime hearing last week, Preston crown court was told McDonald made £99,759 from the offences. It also heard that she now had no assets and would be in negative equity if forced to sell her flat.

Judge Graham Knowles QC told her to pay back just £1. But that decision has angered former customers of the now closed down Broughton Post Office in Preston, Lancs.

McDonald, who still lives in Broughton, said this week: “I did not steal one penny.”

She claims glitches in the Post Office’s accounting system caused the losses.

A Royal Mail spokesman said they could not comment on individual cases.

 Good old British justice #2, but she has been pixilated.....

That’s it: I’m orf to look for big Tits 

And today’s thought: "If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours." - Paris Hilton (IE user) to Jackie Collins.

Angus

Facebook Faux pas; Pink Tie ban; An Eye for an Eye ; Coppers cop the lot; Popeye lives; and Just like that

Dark and murky with the chance of brightness later today, much like the first couple of items; Bosch is deciding whether to close its plant in South Wales with the possible loss of 300 jobs, and Harrods; that useful little corner shop are selling gold bars worth more than £250,000 "off the shelf".

Must pop in and buy a couple or three.

First up:

Cancun Numpty

A fraudster who went on the run from US authorities gave himself away - because he couldn't help himself from posting on Facebook.

Cameroon-born Maxi Sopo's messages made it clear he was living the high life in the Mexican resort of Cancun.

He also added a former US justice department official to his friend list that ended up helping to track him down, reports the BBC.

US officials say Mr Sopo and an associate falsely obtained more than £125,000 in credit from banks.

In recent status updates Mr Sopo said he was "loving it", described himself as "living in paradise" and said he was "just here to have fun".

"He was making posts about how beautiful life is and how he was having a good time with his buddies," said Assistant US Attorney Michael Scoville.

The 26-year-old, who is now in custody in Mexico City, initially sold roses in Seattle nightclubs after arriving in the US in 2003. He then allegedly moved on to bank fraud.

The former justice department official whom Mr Sopo befriended on the social networking site said he had only met the fugitive a few times in the city's nightclubs and had no idea that he was on the run.

He was able to discover exactly where Mr Sopo was living and the information was passed to the Mexican authorities who arrested him last month.

Maybe Facebook is useful for something after all.

Pink Tie no work

A Springfield Mass Transit District bus driver has received a one-day unpaid suspension for wearing a pink necktie to help raise awareness for breast cancer.

The driver, 46-year-old William Jones, had to serve the suspension, but his action led the transit district to agree that employees could wear pink on Fridays October in recognition of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Jones, who said he planned to file a formal grievance, said he has had a number of relatives who have battled cancer, including a grandmother, a sister, several cousins and a niece.

Linda Tisdale, the district's managing director, said employees must ask in advance before wearing any deviation from the standard uniform.

Nice company to work for.

Bible bashing Jury

A convicted murderer faces execution in Texas after jurors consulted the Bible while deliberating on his sentence.

Amnesty International has appealed to the state to commute the sentence on Khristian Oliver, 32, who is due to die on November 5.

He was sentenced to death in 1999 for murdering a man whose home Oliver was burgling. The victim was shot in the face and beaten with his own rifle.

It later emerged that while deciding whether he should be given the death penalty, jurors consulted the Bible. Four jury members admitted that several copies had been in the jury room and that highlighted passages were passed around.

At one point, a juror reportedly read aloud from a copy, including the passage: "And if he smite him with an instrument of iron, so that he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death."

The US constitution calls for the separation of state and religion. In 2005, the state supreme court in Colorado overturned a death penalty on a convicted murderer because jurors had consulted the Bible while deliberating over his sentence.

Commuting Robert Harlan's sentence to life imprisonment without parole, the court ruled that the Bible constituted an "improper outside influence" and a reliance on what it called a "higher authority".

Welcome to the twenty first century.

Police push off

An entire police force has quit after winning more than £10 million in the lottery.

The 15-strong squad in Budaors, Hungary, scooped the jackpot with their ticket on Tuesday and all resigned on the spot.

Police chiefs have scrambled back-up units to the region until more full-time officers can be recruited.

It was the sixth biggest win in Hungarian lottery history.

Law and disorder.

That’s a big one!

Matthias Schlitte, a German arm wrestler, has been dubbed the real-life Popeye, celebrated for his large right forearm.

The 22-year-old's right forearm measures nearly 18 inches around – far more than his relatively small left arm.

His hefty cartoon-style muscles have helped him wrestle his way into first place in a series of competitions, including the Iron Curtain Armwars in Blackburn and the German Championships in Haltern this year.

So where’s Olive Oyl then?

And finally:

Tommy Cooper is the upper crust

A fish shop owner, Crad Jones, found a vision of comic legend Tommy Cooper in the pastry of a meat pie.

The 45 year-old said other customers recognised it as Cooper who was born in the same town in Caerphilly, South Wales.

Mr Jones owns The Codfather's Plaice in Trethomas, Caerphilly, where Tommy was born in 1921.

Tommy died on stage in April 1984 aged 63. He is commemorated with a bronze statue of him placed in the centre of Caerphilly - officially unveiled by one of his biggest fans, actor Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Fun-loving Mr Jones saw the funny side of Cooper in the £1.60 premier steak pie made by local baker's Peters Pies.

"But I ate the pie straight after the pictures were taken. It went down a treat - just like that!"
* One of Tommy's favourite jokes was: "I popped into my local the other day and had the shepherds’ pie. He was furious."

Some of his other classics are:

* I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

* I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

* Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

* A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. You’re ugly as well.'

* A man walked into the doctor's, the doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'. The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.

* A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'. The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.

* I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind', so he gave me a kite.

The old ones are the best.

Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico

SATURDAY SNIPPETS

Well, the county elections are over and the country is singing the Blues, and Gord has done his version of the soft shoe shuffle and we still have almost the same Government but in different seats and wearing different hats.

More like a game of musical chairs than political nouse.


First up:



The British justice system, but only Sunday to Friday Lisa Partington, was given a curfew for assaulting another woman at a party but was told by a judge she could have Saturdays off "because it's summer".

Judge William Hart told Partington, 19, the terms of the curfew meant she had to agree to stay home every night of the week apart from Saturday - the same night she had carried out the drunken attack at a party.

At Gloucester Crown Court, Judge Hart sentenced Partington, of New street, Gloucester, to a 12-month community order with supervision and a curfew from 9pm to 7am every day for the next two months except Saturdays.

He said: "I give you one day off a week because it is summer and I don't think it is necessarily in your interests for you to be confined to your home every evening of the week for the next two months."

Partington had admitted assaulting Kimberley Moxham causing her actual bodily harm at a party in High street, Tredworth, Gloucester, on the night of Saturday Sept 6, 2008.


Nice to know we have a robust legal system that we can be proud of.

Another giant crop circle appears in Wiltshire, this time it is a Dragon fly, Crop circle enthusiasts claim the succession of animal designs have been created in an attempt make people more aware of the threat of climate change and predict they could continue throughout the summer.

"I imagine this will not be the last one we will see this summer and it has already been a busy summer for spotting them as they are well ahead of schedule."

In past years the crop circle season has typically run from July to August but already four have been found in barley fields stretching from Wiltshire to Oxfordshire this year.

They have been found across the ancient 'ley lines' - believed to have mystical qualities.
"People believe they will increase in frequency up to 2012 where there will be some kind of cataclysmic world event."

I’ll tell you, if there are Dragon flies that big in 2012 Im off!

Space travel makes you ugly astro-biologist Dr Lewis Dartness revealed at the Cheltenham Science Festival that living without gravity would cause space travellers' bones and muscles not to develop properly, leaving them stunted and weak.

Meanwhile, the lack of effort needed to move around in low gravity and a temperature-controlled environment would mean that "future spacemen and women are likely to become pretty chubby."

And it gets worse. "Without gravity, fluid would float up to pool in the skull, which would cause the head to look permanently swollen out of proportion", Dr Dartness added.

Warming to his subject, he continued: "Also, with no need for hair to insulate the head or eyelashes to flick dust from their eyes, future humans may become completely hairless."

So space “men” will be short, fat, bald and ugly, that is me to a tee, where do I sign up.

Pulling power A Chinese man lost his hand when it was ripped off at the wrist during a tug-of-war contest, Mr Shi, 30, of Shenzen, joined the beach tug of war competition with more than 100 of his colleagues.

"I had done tug-of-war before. It was all fun and safe," he told the Guangzhou Daily newspaper.
Entrants were divided into teams of five with Shi taking up the back position on his team. To stabilise himself, he wrapped the rope around his wrist and threw the loose end over his shoulder.

His match was heading for a draw when members of the audience started helping both teams to try to end the stalemate - without noticing Shi's hand trapped in the rope.

"I called on people to stop, but my voice was too quiet to be noticed," he said.

The competition was eventually halted when people noticed Shi holding up his damaged limb.
He was rushed to the Guangzhou Harmony Hand Hospital where his severed hand was reattached in a five hour operation.

That’s handy, they would have heard my voice if it had been me.

How to curry huge profits A London restaurant has launched the world's most expensive curry - at £2,000 a portion.

The dish, called the Samundari Khazana, or Seafood Treasure, contains caviar, sea snails, a whole lobster and even edible gold, reports The Sun.

Prahlad Hegde, head chef of Bombay Brasseries in central London, said: "There are still people out there with money to spend and this curry is a real experience."

Ingredients include Devon crab, white truffle, Beluga caviar, quails' eggs, sea snails, and an £80 Scottish lobster coated in gold leaf.

Prahlad explained: "The idea is from a basic Indian recipe I got from my mum but we are using the finest ingredients in the world."

The curry has been created to coincide with the DVD launch of Oscar-winning movie Slumdog Millionaire.

If I want my bum to burn the next day I can do it for £9.99 from the local takeaway.


And finally:

Blind justice police in New York repeatedly ticketed an illegally parked minivan for weeks before noticing that its occupant was dead, the deceased man's daughter has claimed.

The body of George Morales was discovered on Wednesday after a city marshal attempted to tow the vehicle away from underneath a flyover in the city's Queens District.

Jennifer Morales told the New York Daily News that she last spoke to her 59-year-old father in early May. She believes that he may have died from a heart attack while sitting in the family's Chevrolet Ventura.

Wonder if he will have to go to court for non payment.

“Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.” Anon

Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

BLIND JUSTICE-LIFE IS WORTH £60

Just came across this UK News - Man, 78, dies as bailiff takes him to ATM

A 78-year-old man recovering from a stroke and a heart attack who was taken to an ATM machine by a bailiff suffered another heart attack and died.

Magistrates ordered a bailiff to go to Mr Miller’s home to collect a £60 fine plus penalties, even though his relatives had informed the authorities he was unable to pay because of ill health.

Justice Minister Jack Straw, who represents Blackburn in Parliament, has ordered the investigation.

“Justice Minister”? What firkin justice? Mr Miller died for a Parking Fine: the magistrates concerned should resign, and thank themselves lucky they are not being prosecuted themselves. This is one of those stories that kick you in the guts, the life of a man wasted for £60.

What the firk is this bloody country coming to? A bailiff taking an elderly man to get money out of an ATM machine, so that he can get his cut.

I never thought I would say this but I am ashamed to be British, the country has reached the nadir of its morals.

This is proof that money overrides all else, compassion; decency and “justice” no longer exist in Blighty.

I am disgusted and appalled at the action of the so-called justice system, heads should roll and not after years of investigations but NOW.
Angus