Ask a silly question: Pippa’s party plan: Walk of hard times: Dahn Unda whitewash: Stoned in Rome: and the one armed chainsaw artist.

Seasons of mist and bugger all else at the Castle this morn, the wevver is like U-Turn Cam-thick, wet and cold.

Just returned from the Monday moan dahn Tesco and I can’t believe that “I can’t believe it’s not butter” has gorn up from one squid to one squid and 30 pees to one squid and 80 pisses (which they are taking).

 

And his Maj has been practising his hunting...

 

 

Apparently Labour MP Gloria de Piero has asked the ultimate political question

 

And members of a Yorkshire golf club gave her more than several answers.

The question was-"When I say the word 'politician', what do you think?" 

Answers included “Liars, Selfish, Insincere and Self-seeking”. 

And to prove that Gloria isn’t self-seeking and selfish she decided to ask the same question on Twitter using the hashtag #whydoyouhateme. The Tweets are “interesting”.

 

Here are a few more “impressions” of Politicians: 

Arrogant, inept, out of touch, posh pillocks, tosspots, wankers, overpaid, underworked, unelected, useless, waste of air, clueless, greedy and bumholes...

The above are of course purely my personal interpretation of those who want to prostitute themselves to “public service” and I would like to point out that no first class rail passengers were harmed in the production of this item.

 

Having said that, looking at Gloria’s picture-I would.....

 

And the arse of the year has “written” a book

Pippa Middleton (under 30-just), has admitted that she is still coming to terms with her celebrity – and the focus on her figure – that followed the marriage of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge last year.

In a new book, she writes: “It is a bit startling to achieve global recognition (if that’s the right word) before the age of 30, on account of your sister, your brother-in-law and your bottom.

“One day, I might be able to make sense of this.

"In the meantime I think it's fair to say that it has its upside and its downside. I certainly have opportunities many can only dream of – but in most ways I'm a typical girl in her 20s trying to forge a career and represent herself in what can sometimes seem rather strange circumstances."

Miss Middleton makes her comments in Celebrate: A Year of British Festivities for Families and Friends, a party-planning guide based on her experience with her family’s business, Party Pieces.

It was reported that the deal for the book, with publisher Michael Joseph, was worth £400,000. It includes seasonal recipes, as well recollections of her childhood, including Bonfire Night and playing conkers.

"We all used to get really competitive," she writes.

"The trick was to paint clear nail varnish on the conkers to make them very tough and less likely to break – outrageous cheating of course!"

 Ah; the life of a “celeb”....

Norf of the border

A company is offering a tour of the network of ­brothels used by prostitutes plying their trade in 18th century Edinburgh.

The night time tour for over-18s is based on a long-forgotten book, Ranger’s Impartial List Of  Ladies Of Pleasure, published in 1775, which offers a candid appraisal of 50 of the city’s prostitutes and helpful notes on where to find them.

Information includes the women’s names, ages, the condition of their teeth and their temperament.

Now an actress, posing as Miss Watt, a prostitute described in the book as being of middle size, with light brown hair and good teeth but rather surly tempered, has put together a one-hour walking tour featuring some of the 117 brothels that operated along the Royal Mile.

They include the Old Town’s most popular house of ill-repute, in Barry’s Close, which attracted clients from the nearby court and law offices who could slip in unnoticed through an entrance at the foot of a flight of stairs off ­Parliament Square.

 

 A snippet:

This Lady is about 21 years of age, of the middle ƒize, light brown hair, good teeth, but rather ƒurly in her temper eƒpecially after the glaƒs has gone merrily round; notwithƒtanding of this, ƒhe is not a bad companion, as ƒhe can ƒing many very fine ƒongs. She is alƒo miƒtreƒs of her profeƒƒion; and it is ƒaid, before ƒhe would ƒleep alone, ƒhe would rather pay a clever fellow for to do her buƒineƒs, as love is her ƒole delight.

 

Well “f” me, wonder if I will need a passport to go on the tour before long?

 

Dahn Unda

A street artist's attempt to bring colour to a back lane in the CBD is in a bit of bovver, the wall off Banks Place Geelong had originally been painted by Joel Macartney about six months ago, but had been tagged and vandalised earlier this month.

Last weekend Macartney and some friends painted three fresh panels of similar-styled street art. On Wednesday this was painted over by a council contractor, leaving a blank wall.

 

City CEO Stephen Griffin said some street art had been removed from part of Banks Place this week after unauthorised graffiti on top of earlier artwork.

He said a noted local street artist had carried out the initial artwork about six months ago, with permission from council and the owner of the property.

Mr Griffin said that in recent weeks there had been unauthorised and extended artwork applied on top of the original design, and this had been removed by council contractors after they checked the status of the alterations and extensions.

He said the council had been involved in further discussions with the artist over the past few days, and there was a possibility the artist would be undertaking some new work.

 

Think I prefer the blank wall....

 

Over to the land of love and Latin

Allegedly a study of psychotropic drug levels in ambient air from eight Italian cities found background levels of cocaine, cannabinoids - the active ingredients in marijuana - nicotine and caffeine in every urban centre.

Turin had the highest concentrations of cocaine, says Angelo Cecinato at the Institute of Atmospheric Pollution Research in Rome. Meanwhile, Bologna and Florence had some of the highest cannabinoid levels, which Cecinato attributes to the large student populations in the two cities. The drug concentrations are much too low to have an effect, though (Environmental Pollution, doi.org/jhk).

 

And there was me thinking Italian drivers were naturally bonkers.....

 

And finally:

 

Left a lot to the place where George came from

 

When it comes to chainsaw carving, one Belfair man is a cut above the rest.

He uses all tools of the trade to create masterpieces, but some say it's what he's working without that makes his carvings truly remarkable.

He does it all with one arm.

"I saw what he was doing, and I thought people have got to see this," says one neighbour.

"It takes a lot of drive," says another. "He just wrestles these pieces around like they're nothing."

It's been said the purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our soul. And when Jerry Tallman is at work, that dust is flying high. Six hours a day, six days a week, he's at his Belfair shop, where his steel-toothed chainsaw carves each contour.

"You can shape that grain any way you want," he says.

Jerry will be the first to tell you it's a demanding job - working the wood with one arm missing.

He shrugs through exhaustion because he loves his work - even if he doesn't have all his tools intact.

"I can still feel my arm," he says. "I can open and close my hand - just it's not there."

And before you ask; no he didn’t cut his arm orf with a chainsaw, he was hit by a tree on his shoulder while “logging”, and I was on the ground. Just that quick." he recalls.

The nerves were pulled from his spine. Doctors left his arm there for five years before amputating. Then it was back to square one.

 

Bit of an ‘armless hobby though....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to find out who EBay’s accountants are

 

And today’s thought:

 

 

Angus

 

Pippa on the pull: Ripped orf-again: Fine for EDF customers: Talking pets: False airbags: Smashing learner: and iPhone the cops.

Damp, dingy, dismal and dodgy at the Castle this morn, didn’t get to the smoke yesterday, I managed to break my only pair of glasses so I had to go to “Specsavers”, had an eye test while I was there and discovered that the old peepers are healthy but in need of a bit more help to function.

So I look forward to getting my “new” driving glasses next Saturday at the knock down cost of £143. But they did repair my old specs for free.

And today’s worm pic.

For those that are interested

Pippa Middleton is single again after ditching her doting boyfriend Alex Loudon.

Apparently Britain's most sought-after date has not been seen with the professional cricketer turned City broker for weeks.

One source close to Old Etonian Alex said: "Pippa has become very high profile and it's put a strain on things. They're moving in different circles."

Pippa shared a three-hour romantic meal with George — son of the fabulously wealthy Duke of Northumberland — at Le Cercle restaurant near London's Sloane Square last week.

They sneaked back to his posh pad and did not emerge until 2am when George, 26, walked Pippa to the lobby and gave her a goodnight hug.

Hope he’s wearing body armour.....

Allegedly Brits pay nearly £300 each in excess motoring taxes, a report reveals.

A whopping £31.5 billion is raised by the Government each year through fuel and vehicle excise duty.

But just £13.4billion is spent on roads and repairing environmental damage caused by traffic. That means the Treasury's coffers are swollen by an extra £18.1billion — or £293 per person.

Taxpayers' Alliance director Matthew Sinclair said: "British motorists are hit unfairly hard by motoring taxes that are far too high.

"The Chancellor should freeze duty for the rest of this Parliament. And politicians should stop ripping off British motorists with the highest taxes on petrol in the EU."

A YouGov poll for The Sun yesterday revealed 85 per cent of Brits want fuel duty frozen.

Make that 85 per cent plus one.

And:

Energy giant EDF has been fined £1.3million for spying on Greenpeace

EDF was found guilty of espionage aimed at Greenpeace.

Two of the company’s security executives were jailed, along with three others recruited to carry out the spying.

Campaigners hailed the verdict as ‘a strong message to the nuclear industry that no one is above the law’.

The verdict was reached on the day that EDF, one of seven top-tier 2012 Games sponsors, brought in price rises for its 5.7million British customers.

So that the customers can pay the fine for them...

 Dahn Unda

80pc of Australians think they can understand pets and believe they know their pets well - and can communicate"

The survey of 800 Australian pet owners found more than 95 per cent of dog owners talked to their pets, while just over 89 per cent spoke to their cats.

And 87 per cent said they understood what their pets were trying to say, according to the survey commissioned by an animal healthcare company.

I aked his Maj about this-no comment.

North of the border

Lisa Somerville, 28, was driving home in a rainstorm when she lost control and careered head-on into another car.

She was cut free by fire fighters and rushed to hospital with a punctured lung, four cracked ribs and a broken nose.

Doctors later told her the silicone pads she used to boost her then AAA bust had saved her life by acting like airbags.

Ms Somerville said: ‘I suffered a punctured lung and cracked ribs but thanks to my chicken fillets, I was still alive.

‘I was told otherwise my ribs would have pierced my heart.’

After the crash near her home in Kirkintilloch, near Glasgow, she came round moments later with shooting pains in her body.

But luckily she was ‘doubling up’ – wearing two silicone implants on both sides.

She said: ‘I was in a bad way but I was still breathing. As doctors peeled back my clothes to get a better look at the damage, they noticed the skewered chicken fillets inside my bra.’

After recovering, Ms Somerville paid £4,000 to upgrade her breasts from a triple A to a 30E.

She said: ‘I’m ten times more confident and happier than ever. I’m giving my new boobs a birthday celebration.’

Wonder if my Moobs will work as well?

East to the land of fireworks and Crimbo toys

Learner driver Wen Le had one 'L' of a time learning how to park during her lesson in Xiaolan, Guangdong province, southern China.

After hitting the accelerator instead of the brake she shot through a wall leaving the car stuck half in and half out of an alley.

"She was slightly hurt but luckily no-one was standing on the other side of the wall when she came through," said a police spokesman.

Wen added: "I don't know what happened. I was parking very carefully and the car just took off."

That’s a fail then....

                                                 

 And finally:

Over to the not so wild west

Michael Alan Skopec phoned the police five times because his iPhone wasn’t working. The 48-year-old man from Bristol, Illinois, allegedly made the calls to complain, according to a Kendall County Sheriff's Office report shared by The Smoking Gun.

Officers went out to Skopec's home around 1 a.m. Wednesday to investigate and said Skopec "refused to comply with orders from deputies," according to a sheriff's spokesperson, and he was arrested for obstructing or resisting a peace officer.

Should have bought a Blackberry, or a Samsung or an HTC....

That’s it: I’m orf to have a piss on the Leccy meter

And today’s thought: “If we go into the red next year... I shall have to give up polo.” 1969.-Prince Philip.

 Lest we forget-11-11-11.

 Angus

Switch orf: 1st class mail: Pippa’s back: Todger revenge: and squirrel in the dark.

Cold, clear and a touch more than a tad breezy at the Castle this morn, the study is still void of any broken one eyed monsters, and I was woken up at three of the am by terrible wind, and the weather wasn’t much better. 

I see that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaire Club Coalition failed to front up to the “energy” companies coming up with an expected Piss Poor “solution”-change your supplier.

Chris (no nuclear/yes nuclear) Huhne said "We should be switching if we're not on the cheapest tariff and taking the opportunity ahead of this winter to really make sure that we're insulating so that we can save money."

 

So why is it that with new loft insulation, cavity wall insulation and double glazing with “heat reflecting” glass, the castle’s fuel bill has gorn up from £48 per month to £87 per month when the cost of “fuel” has only supposedly gorn up by 25%?

Piss poor liars.... 

And:

Royal Mail could be allowed to set the price of first class stamps for the first time, prompting fears that the cost of sending a letter will rise sharply.

Ofcom, the new postal regulator, is proposing to let Royal Mail set its own prices for first-class post. The price of second-class stamps will still be regulated, to ensure that those on low incomes can afford to use the post, but there are fears that the changes will create an exaggerated two-tier service.

 R.I.P snail mail.....

 And:

Pippa Middleton  has been snapped getting close with a mystery man at a boxing match as her boyfriend Alex Loudon looked on.

The 28-year-old - famed for her pert behind - was dressed in a plunging silk Alice Temperley number as she was lifted up on the dance floor Dirty Dancing style by the unknown man after the final round of the charity boxing event.

Nevertheless, Miss Middleton's 31-year-old long-term partner did not seem perturbed by her daring performance.

Although the couple attended the annual Boodles Boxing Ball two weeks ago, these photos have just been posted on the event's Facebook page.

Bit of a paunch there Pippa, not up the duff are we?

Over in the land of Agent Orange

A Vietnamese woman said she snipped off her husband's penis with scissors and threw it into a river after he allegedly had an affair and beat her, Taiwan police told AFP.

Police said the 30-year-old woman, identified only by her last name, Pan, cut off about half of her sleeping partner's penis at their home in Tainan.

Pan turned herself into police and faces assault charges, investigators said Sunday.

The woman claimed she threw the severed appendage into a river for revenge.

Her Taiwanese husband is 29, jobless and known to use drugs, police said.

His condition was not released.

Probably feeling a bit inadequate.....

 And finally:

 In the land of the overhead transformer and the home of the dark

A squirrel cut off half of Greenwich's power leaving 15,000 people in the dark for hours as they woke up.

Connecticut Light & Power spokesman Mitch Gross said the squirrel, which was zapped by tens of thousands of volts of electricity and died instantly, caused a piece of equipment in the company's Cos Cob substation to malfunction.

'The squirrel is history now,' Gross added.

The incident happened just after 8am and before Gross said at 10am that the outages would last for several more hours.

All power has since been restored to those affected.

I prefer my Squirrel baked rather than zapped...

That’s it: I’m orf to reinvent the wheel 

And today’s thought: Experience is what you get whenever . . . you don't get what you want.

 Angus

Oligopoly of IT: Less for less: Up the chimney: Bentley blonde: Resurfaced Numptys: Golf upping: and Pippa gets some TLC.

Not sure about the nature stuff this morn at the Castle-dull, dingy, dry and humid, just one last thing to fettle in the garden-sand down and re varnish the bench then I can rest on my wrinkled old arse for a while (when the varnish has dried).

The study is bereft of any sort of ICU needing computers, and if this is what retirement is like I think I will keep working, I have never been so knackered.

I see that Government departments have been ripped off by an "oligopoly" of IT giants, a damning report by a committee of MPs has found.

Some were paying as much as 10 times the commercial rate for equipment and up to £3,500 on a single desktop PC.

The public administration committee said an "obscene amount of public money" was being wasted on IT.

Committee chairman, Conservative MP Bernard Jenkin, said that, according to some sources, the government had paid contractors between seven and 10 times more than the standard rate.

But ministers themselves did not collect the information required to verify these claims, he added.

No surprises there then, they should have come to the Dei.

And U-Turn Cam is a liar

Back in June this year he said “Yes, in many ways the NHS is providing some of the best service it ever has.
But we have to be honest.

We're wasting too much money on empty bureaucracy when it could be spent on the frontline.
In the past two decades, NHS spending has more than doubled in real terms from £38bn to £103bn.”

More over-stretch, more over-crowding, the NHS buckling under the pressure of an ageing population and the rising cost of treatments and the principle we all hold dear and we all want to keep of free healthcare for all who need it when they need it precious principle coming under threat.

We cannot let that happen, and we will not let that happen.

 Today.

Hip replacements, cataract surgery and tonsil removal are among operations now being rationed in a bid to save the NHS money.

Two-thirds of health trusts in England are rationing treatments for "non-urgent" conditions as part of the drive to reduce costs in the NHS by £20bn over the next four years. One in three primary-care trusts (PCTs) has expanded the list of procedures it will restrict funding to in the past 12 months.

Examples of the rationing now being used include:

* Hip and knee replacements only being allowed where patients are in severe pain. Overweight patients will be made to lose weight before being considered for an operation.

* Cataract operations being withheld from patients until their sight problems "substantially" affect their ability to work.

* Patients with varicose veins only being operated on if they are suffering "chronic continuous pain", ulceration or bleeding.

* Tonsillectomy (removing tonsils) only to be carried out in children if they have had seven bouts of tonsillitis in the previous year.

* Grommets to improve hearing in children only being inserted in "exceptional circumstances" and after monitoring for six months.

* Funding has also been cut in some areas for IVF treatment on the NHS.

Birmingham is looking at reducing operations in gastroenterology, gynaecology, dermatology and orthopaedics. Parts of east London were among the first to introduce rationing, where some patients are being referred for homeopathic treatments instead of conventional treatment.

 

Liar, liar pants on fire.......

According to Digby Jones

Children should be allowed to leave school at 14 and start work to boost Britain’s economy, the former head of the Confederation of British Industry has said.

Disruptive pupils would be better off abandoning mainstream education and “earning a few bob” to encourage growth, Lord Jones of Birmingham believes.

The former Labour Trade Minister said British businesses are struggling through a lack of skilled young people, meaning employers are forced to hire workers from overseas.

Allowing youngsters to embark on vocational training and get jobs at 14 would fill the skills gap while stimulating economic growth through increased spending, Lord Jones said.

It’s a shame that hardly anyone has a working chimney anymore-loads of prospects there for illiterate children, or how about bringing back national service?

 That would solve the problem of our shrinking armed forces and I can’t see a problem with 14 year olds running around with guns.......

Over in Monte Carlo

A fair haired lady driver turned a parade of some of the world's most expensive cars into a demolition derby when she scraped her Bentley against an $111,000 Mercedes S class.

After scraping the Benz, the driver didn't hit the brakes in time to stop ramming a $207,000 black Ferrari F430, a Porsche 911 worth $118,000 and a $207,000 Aston Martin Rapide.

Despite the fact her 2.7 tonne Bentley involved more than $1m worth of luxury machinery, the cost of repairs is expected to reach just $60,000. 

Cheap at half the blonde...

 Back in Blighty

Up in Worcester.

Some caring, intelligent Council workers resurfaced a road – but left a neat, unsealed rectangle under a parked car.
Residents watched in disbelief as crews worked around the Fiat Punto. “Its madness, the road will look ridiculous,” said one local in Worcester. A county council spokesman said the patch will be filled in later, at no extra cost.

If they were 14 year old “disruptive” teens they would have hot-wired it.

Over to the left

A golf buggy replica of a Ferrari will set you back almost £20,000 but is guaranteed to make fellow players see red with jealousy.

All the usual extras are available for the F5 vehicle, described by its maker as ‘more like a sports car than a Golf cart’.

They include alloy wheels, a hard top and leather seats.

And its battery-powered motor can hit 32kph (20mph) and last for three rounds of golf.

And if a classic Italian sports car doesn’t appeal, a Bentley and Rolls-Royce are also available.

 Waste of a good ride........

And finally: 

Pippa Middleton is to be honoured with a special documentary Crazy About Pippa on American network TLC, after causing a stir on both sides of the Atlantic.

Mass hysteria has surrounded Pippa Middleton since she served as maid of honour at Prince William & her sister Kate Middleton’s royal wedding in April.

Such is the interest in the future Queen’s sister, both in the UK and in the US, that cable network TLC have decided to broadcast a documentary with Pippa as the sole focus.

Crazy About Pippa will air on Tuesday, 9th August at 9pm where ‘those closest to Pippa provide insight into the life and work of the future Queen of England’s sister.

The show will also reveal that her new brother-in-law Prince Harry refers to her as a ‘foxy filly’.

Pippa has been declared Britain’s most eligible bachelorette by the US network but is perhaps more famous for her pert posterior.

Despite the infamous bum being barely visible at the royal wedding underneath her ivory silk dress, it somehow garnered a mass following online, with 237,000 people joining the Pippa Middleton A** Appreciation Society page on Facebook. 

Oh great....

 That’s it: I’m orf to measure what is left of my brain 

And today’s thought: Happiness is good health and . . . a bad memory.

Angus

Silly Billy’s empire grows: Be nice to Crims: Hamming it up in Italy: Paper milk bottle: and a bit more of Pippa.

‘Tis ‘orrible at the Castle this morn, dark, cloudy, windy and cold, the butler has had to snatch a few fat teenagers for the furnace and the phone started ringing early from users wanting their fix, the kitchen is prepared for the onslaught.

Silly Billy Hague is it seems sitting on an expanding worldwide property empire that is worth more than £2bn.

The number of properties owned by the FCO across the globe has risen to more than 2,300 – at a time when all government departments have been under severe pressure to cut costs.

Two years ago, Foreign Office mandarins threatened widespread sales of British embassies and official residences, as part of a crackdown on the costs of maintenance, staffing and expensive duties including official entertaining. In 2008-09 alone, the FCO sold over £60m-worth of property in 11 countries.

In spite of further warnings about large-scale sell-offs when the coalition came to power last May, the number of UK-owned properties has risen from 2,180 to 2,318 in the three years up to last September.

The value of FCO property in 126 countries around the world rose from £1.7bn to more than£2bn in the same period.

Do we get free hols in our properties?

Lawrence Sherman, professor of criminology at Cambridge University,

Thinks he knows how to cut both crime and the prison population. At a ‘fascinating’ talk at the think tank Civitas last week, he argued that prison is essential to protect the rest of us from hardened and violent criminals. But most prisoners aren't actually in that category: they're guilty of lots of relatively minor offences. And keeping them locked up is not the only way of reducing their criminal behaviour, merely the most expensive.

Instead of being sent to jail, Prof Sherman suggests that criminals in this group should be monitored by the police. When the cops catch them, it will often be better to offer them a deal than to prosecute: the police should tell the low-level criminal that if they go on a drug rehabilitation course, say, or get a job, or go for training, and stay out of trouble, they will not initiate the process of prosecution. If the criminal agrees, but is subsequently caught violating the terms of the deal, then the hammer comes down. But if he keeps his side of the bargain, nothing will happen.

Time will tell……

Over to the land of non earthquakes

Four people were hospitalised in Italy after a dispute over the thickness of a supermarket's ham slices turned violent.

The row broke out when a 50-year-old woman shopping in the Tuscany town of Livorno yesterday protested that the ham slices being cut by a counter assistant were too thick, ANSA news agency said in a report.

A scuffle unfolded involving the shop assistant's father as well as the woman's husband and two sons.

Police were called and three ambulances were also sent to the scene.

The shop assistant, the disgruntled ham shopper and her husband all suffered bruises and were treated in hospital.

The shopkeeper's father was also hospitalised after feeling ill, the news agency said.

Too thick? They should try shopping at Tesco, you can see through the slices there.

Up in Suffolk

Green Bottle, a tiny Suffolk-based company that has developed a green alternative to plastic bottles is in advanced talks with a consumer goods giant for a global deal to supply it with environmentally friendly detergent bottles – made out of paper.

The company currently has a deal to supply biodegradable paper milk bottles to 15 Asda stores as a precursor to a planned national roll-out with the supermarket chain later this year.

The bottles consist of a paper shell and an inner plastic liner that holds the liquid. While plastic bottles take an estimated 500 years to decompose and can be recycled just once, a Green Bottle paper shell will decompose in approximately five weeks. The paper casing can also be recycled up to five times or can be disposed of on a compost heap.

Spiffing, so how long does it take the plastic liner to decompose?

And finally:

A bit more of Pippa

The 27-year-old is enjoying a well-earned break in Spain with a gaggle of girlfriends, and old flame George Percy.

Must be terrible having to slum it like that.

That’s it: I’m orf to not to buy a Google laptop.

And today’s thought: "My shoes are size 2 and a 1/2, the same size as my feet" - Elaine Page.

Angus

U-Turn Cam gets tough over the EU: Three Core Cable shorts out: Arrivederci Roma: Pippa’s bits: Batman needs a new Robin: and Jam or cream first?

Stropped raining at the Castle this morn (for a while), much cooler after the last dark thing, I had to put the pillows through the mangle twice, but there is that nice smell of warm, damp pavement coming from the patio.

I was going to treat myself and visit the car boot sale out at The Country Market near Bordon today but I think rain will stop play, and the Honda is now red with yellow spots.

U-turn Cam has decided that he will not fly the EU flag over Number 10 during Europe Day on Monday unlike previous years, some other departments, including the Treasury and Foreign Office, will also not hoist the European symbol.

But the Liberal Democrat Vince Cable's Department for Business will raise the blue and gold flag.

Ooooh scary.

And talking of scary:

David Cameron is being urged by senior Lib Dems to rein in George Osborne amid accusations that the Chancellor is wrecking the survival prospects of the coalition.

The disclosure came as the three most senior members of Nick Clegg's cabinet team launched a direct challenge to the Prime Minister's call for "business as usual" after the fallout from the alternative vote referendum and elections.

Vince Cable, Chris Huhne and Danny Alexander produced a shopping list of demands – including fairer taxes that punish the wealthy and pressing ahead with voting reform – to ensure the Lib Dems retain a grip on coalition policy.

Reads the rest of it if you are feeling masochistic, I nodded orf on paragraph two.

Across to the land of spaghetti trees and empty streets

Go to Rome next Wednesday and you will have the place to yourself, apparently Raffaele Bendandi who died in 1979 aged 86 has predicted that a devastating earthquake will hit the city.

In 1923 he forecast a quake would hit the central Adriatic region of the Marches on January 2 the following year. He was wrong by two days but Italy's main newspaper Corriere della Sera still ran a front page article on "The man who forecasts earthquakes."

Bendandi's fame grew and in 1927 he was awarded a knighthood by Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini. During his long career his theories were studied by several prominent foreign astronomers.

Shocking…..

 And for Pippa fans

This party pic of Pippa Middleton dancing in her bra with an unidentified shirtless gent surfaced yesterday, US Weekly reports. There's no word on when the photo was taken.

Known as a fun-loving girl during her days at the University of Edinburgh, Kate's maid of honor and younger sister helped plan the post-reception shindig at Buckingham Palace. She reportedly requested that disco balls be suspended from the ceiling, which the Palace pooh-poohed.

Pippa is currently dating 30-year-old London broker and former England cricketer Alex Loudon. No, he's not the guy in the image.

Bet Harry is a bit disappointed.

Dahn Unda and right a bit

A 91-year-old New Zealand war veteran says he has been forced to put his new career as a modern-day Batman on hold because he is not allowed to be out fighting crime alone at night.

John Bray says he is more than qualified to deal with evildoers in the North Island town of Waipawa, having served with the Long Range Desert Group, a reconnaissance and raiding unit in North Africa during World War II.

He enlisted as a member of the local community patrol, an organisation which acts as "the eyes and ears" of the police, cruising the streets at night and reporting any suspicious activity.

Like Batman, he started out with a partner but decided to go solo when his Robin equivalent, a man in his late 80s, kept falling asleep on duty.

Now he has been told by the local head of the community patrol organisation that he cannot work alone and he must find a new sidekick if he wants to get back on the roster.

"I want to keep going so now I have to find a new partner," he told AFP, describing his crime fighting role as a success, driving through the streets at night armed only with a spotlight and mobile phone.

Don’t forget the two ton weapon he is driving-bless.

And finally:

Dahn in Devon

An attempt is to be made to make the world's largest scone - at 8ft in diameter.

The unofficial record bid will take place at the Devon County Show on May 19 to help promote a campaign to have the Devon cream tea granted European Protected Designation of Origin (PDO) status, currently awarded to products like champagne, Roquefort cheese and Melton Mowbray pork pies.

Paul Winterton, general manager at dairy producer Langage Farm, based near Plymouth, said: "If we get support for the PDO, the county of Devon can only be strengthened with people recognising the value from this point of view." 

Great, but is it jam or Cream on top? 

That’s it; I’m orf to champion space 

And today’s thought: The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.

Angus