Many, many units of lack of warm, just a whimsy of skywater,
a butterfly's' cough of atmospheric movement and the merest glimpse of Dawn's
crack at the Castle this pancake flipping morn.
All is well with poor old Angus, bits that should work are
and bits that shouldn't don't, his Maj is full of the joys of something and the
smart cat flap is performing within expected parameters.
Well it's finally happened, landlady Mrs Floppybits dahn at
the Crimea pub dropped her breakfast tray causing a global crisis.
Much coffee was lost causing a surge in the price of the
beans throughout the globe, her toast was lost to the hot liquid meaning that
the cost of wheat soared, the spoilt milk caused Tesco to reduce the retail
price of 4 pints, the boiled egg exploded which brought about a steep increase
in the retail price of chucky ovals, which in turn made the price of fowl meat
burst through the 5 squid barrier and spawned a frenzy of buying in the
feather pillows and duvet market.
The broken cereal bowl made a huge dent in the floor tile
industry causing the shares of B&Q to soar, which made the city panic over
prices of wood, corn, cement, sheds, copper, brass, lead, plastic, furniture,
garden tools, fencing and turfs.
This lead to a rest break being cancelled and caused the
price of tea to rocket and the result was a slump in the Rupee, the marmalade
was ruined leading to a torrent of bidding on the orange markets and the
backlash was that Florida is now bankrupt and the American economy is on the
verge of collapse.
Back in Blighty the city has stalled, with no commodities
left to make a profit on our economy has dived back into the sewer and we are
all stuffed, in fact the world is going to end tomorrow because some knob head has
revived a thirty thousand year old virus found beneath the permafrost up
Norf (and a bit more).
So there we are:-fucked, all because of a lost brekkie in
the Crimea and the scaremongering of the media and twats that can't mind their
own business and take a delight in winding up the world.
That's it: I'm orf to plumb
the depths of the moat
And today's thought:
Angus
