Not a good start to the day, the cat managed to miss her dirt tray and crapped on the floor, after I cleaned it up and fed her she decided to show who was boss and threw up in the same place, anyone want an incontinent bulimic cat?
Not a good day for certain MPs either, HM Customs is apparently ‘investigating’ 27 of them.
A spokeswoman said: "Inquiries are an integral part of HMRC's work, ensuring that everyone pays the right tax."
She added: "An inquiry does not necessarily mean that there is a problem. Most inquiries are quickly closed".
But, just to help them out Here is a link they can use.
I’m tired of all this aren’t you?
And the CWU General secretary Bill Hayes is hinting that there may be more postal strikes after the two that are planned before Christmas.
Mr Hayes also suggested that he was in a stronger position than former miners' leader Arthur Scargill in the 1980s.
The 24-hour strikes will begin on 22 October. On the first day, mail centre staff and drivers will strike. The next day it will be delivery and collection staff.
Well Bill, it’s not the Gov you need to worry about it’s the public, farting about with OUR mail is guaranteed to turn you and your members into the equivalent of Thatcher the milk snatcher.
But there is some good news:
First up:
Researchers in Holland measured the sexual performance of nearly 500 men from five countries against the clock.
They found that British men had sex for 10 minutes on average before reaching an orgasm.
American men came second with an average performance of eight minutes, followed by the Dutch with a 6.5-minute innings.
Spaniards were fourth, giving their lovers 4.9 minutes of pleasure; while Turks trailed in last, clocking up an average 4.4 minutes.
One man, whose nationality was not identified, lasted just six seconds, the study by experts at Utrecht University in the Netherlands found.
However, another participant in the research put in a 52-minute performance before peaking.
A spokesman told The Sun: "The UK had the longest time. We found no major difference in those who used condoms. But men who drank alcohol before sex tended to last longer."
Keep it up chaps.
From OZ: - A 6-month-old baby had a miracle escape after his pram rolled onto the tracks and into the path of an oncoming train at a railway station in Melbourne.
Security video footage released on Friday shows the baby's mother looking away for a moment as the pram suddenly rolls off the edge of a station platform and onto the tracks at Ashburton station.
The mother looks back and panics as she watches the oncoming train hit the pram, dragging it about 130 feet along the track as the desperate driver tried to stop the train.
Miraculously, the baby boy survived with only minor injuries, including a bump to his head.
"The baby received a bump to his head and was distressed when we arrived. Luckily he was strapped into his pram at the time, which probably saved his life," Mr Wright said.
Michael Ferwerda, the Victoria state police sergeant, called Thursday's incident a "lucky escape" and said people should be cautious in train stations.
Maybe making the platform level might help.
The owner of a camel that was a beauty pageant contestant has demanded £160,000 in compensation from a Saudi Arabian oil company over the animal's death, according to reports.
The three-year-old black camel was grazing in a desert pasture about 150 miles west of Ahsa when it fell into a large hole dug to store crude oil.
Now the owner, Abdullah al-Saiari, is suing the oil giant Saudi Aramco for £160,000 in compensation for his prized camel.
Mr Saiari told the Saudi Gazette: "She was part of the Camel Beauty Contest."
The court had already contacted the beauty pageant's administrators to assess the value of the animal. A panel of camel experts set the beast's value at SR1 million, or £160,000.
Whatever floats your boat I suppose.
Dog owner Bruce Goulborn has won £450 compensation after his pet spaniel Benny chewed a parcel containing historic £5 notes which should not have been put through his letterbox.
Mr Goulborn, who should have signed for the package, wasn't in, and it fell into the jaws of his dog after the postman asked a neighbour to sign.
On Thursday, a court ordered Royal Mail to pay Bruce, from Rhyl, £450 compensation as the damaged notes are now only worth £350.
Last night the collector said Benny, 11, "thought it was his birthday" when he sunk his teeth into the parcel "like a chew toy".
The dog's teeth pierced two pristine 1937 white fivers from the Liverpool branch of the Bank of England which were being returned to him by a client who had paid for the registered delivery, Rhyl county court heard.
Royal Mail promise to cover losses under their special delivery services, but they argued Mr Goulborn could not "adequately prove" how much he paid for the notes.
But he produced a handwritten invoice showing the customer had stumped up £800, which he'd later refunded - leaving him out of pocket.
The postal service said compensation is based on actual loss - the amount it costs to acquire, purchase or manufacture the item, and not what it is worth at retail price.
Special deliveries are meant to be signed for only by the household the package is intended for. If the addressee isn't home, a card should be posted through the door saying they can collect it from a sorting office.
Awarding Mr Goulborn £450 compensation and £95 costs yesterday, district judge John Thomas said it was an "unusual scenario."
"Mr Goulborn is experienced in this field and has proved himself a credible and honest witness.
"This is an issue of fairness and Royal Mail do have a compensation scheme in place for customers who have problems with loss or damage to mail.
A Royal Mail spokesman said: "We will now have to consider the court judgement and respond accordingly.
"However, Royal Mail's position on payment of compensation for lost items remains unchanged and is based on actual loss."
Well done Royal Mail.
And finally:
The coach of the Bosnia-Herzegovina national football team has ordered players to kiss each other on the lips in order to create a special bond between team mates.
Miroslav Ciro Blazevic - who has Portsmouth star Asmir Begovic in his squad - said: "I take two of my players and tell them, 'Love him! Kiss him!' and he kisses him."
He claimed the unorthodox morale-boosting exercise has already proven successful: Mr Blazevic has taken the squad further than ever before in the World Cup.
“I tell them they have to kiss each other straight to the lips," the coach wrote in his column in Croatian news website net.hr.
"The secret of my success is in a unity of a squad. You can't do anything without an atmosphere in a team," he explained.
His revelation came after Vincenzo Santoruvo, the Italian striker, amazed fans by planting a kiss on a team mate's lips after scoring for Serie B club Frosinone.
Always had my doubts about football.
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