Bloody freezing at the Castle this morn, his Maj has got so
close to the radiator in the kitchen that he has become surgically attached and
the butler is spending so long in the dungeon shoving fat drunk teenagers into the
furnace that he is turning into a troglodyte.
Supply shortages and a huge surge in demand have pushed up
prices while Brent crude hit a six-month high of $116.70 as Italy turned to
burning oil to produce electricity.
Tensions with Iran also pushed up oil prices as the United
States tightened sanctions by giving the banks new powers to freeze assets
which are linked to the Persian Gulf state.
Problem is that there is too much information available too
quickly nowadays.
An undercover police officer "chased himself round the
streets" for 20 minutes after a CCTV operator mistook him for suspect.
The junior officer, who has not been named, was monitoring
an area hit by a series of burglaries in an unnamed market town in the
country’s south.
As the probationary officer from Sussex Police searched for
suspects, the camera operator radioed that he had seen someone “acting
suspiciously” in the area.
But he failed to realise that it was actually the
plain-clothed officer he was watching on the screen, according to details
leaked to an industry magazine.
The operator directed the officer, who was on foot patrol,
as he followed the "suspect" on camera last month, telling his colleague
on the ground that he was "hot on his heels".
They don’t call them woodentops for nothing...
Cheapskate motorists
paid the price for a cheap parking spot in China - when they discovered it was
next to a demolition site.
More than a dozen
cars were badly damaged when bungling builders on the site used a demolition
ball on the wall, sending it crashing down onto a row of cars in the 3p a day
car park in Xianyang, Shaanxi province.
"I chose the
parking spot because it was very cheap - and now I know why," said taxi
driver Yu Lin, 48.
"I knew they
were building something new next door but I didn't think they would be using
such a massive crane to smash down such a tiny wall.
"I don't think
my insurance will cover this," he added.
The building firm
meanwhile defended its actions - saying the wall was unsafe and needed to be
knocked down before it killed someone.
Ah-the old Elfandsafety excuse....
A military official
in central Russia has sold an airfield for a bribe.
Andrei Usok, a
procurement officer with the Defence Ministry, sold to an unspecified company
some 4,000 slabs of concrete making up the landing strip of a military airfield
in Bryansk region, prosecutors said on Tuesday.
Usok made 1 million
roubles ($33,000) on the deal, but the damages, which rendered the airfield
unusable, stood at 48 million roubles, the Prosecutor General’s Office reported
on its website.
The officer is
facing up to 12 years behind bars or a fine of between 70 million and 90
million roubles over the case. The investigation is ongoing.
Psst, wanna buy a
cheap airfield....
Yet another “treat”
for Valentine’s Day crawls out of the primeval ooze, the aptly named
'Cock and Bull Pie' from artisan ready meal firm Charlie Bigham’s contains only
ingredients selected for their aphrodisiac and arousing qualities.
As such the £7.99 pie -- available exclusively from Ocado -- features ‘Mama Juana’ liquor and Ginseng alongside the bulls’ testicles.
As such the £7.99 pie -- available exclusively from Ocado -- features ‘Mama Juana’ liquor and Ginseng alongside the bulls’ testicles.
The pie’s succulent steak pieces have been marinated in the
‘saucy’ ‘Mama Juana’ liquor, originally prepared by the native Taino Indians to
get them in the mood for love.
The brand’s founder, Charlie Bigham, comments: "Having specialised in ‘twosome’ cuisine for over 15 years, we understand what it takes to bring partners closer together.
"After a busy day at work couples are often too tired to cook, which is why we have developed the romantic Valentine’s version of our popular pies, taking the stress out of cooking this Valentine’s.
"The Cock and Bull pie will give partners the opportunity to ditch the asparagus and oysters this year and create that perfect ‘twosomes’ moment with our one-off passion inducing pie."
The brand’s founder, Charlie Bigham, comments: "Having specialised in ‘twosome’ cuisine for over 15 years, we understand what it takes to bring partners closer together.
"After a busy day at work couples are often too tired to cook, which is why we have developed the romantic Valentine’s version of our popular pies, taking the stress out of cooking this Valentine’s.
"The Cock and Bull pie will give partners the opportunity to ditch the asparagus and oysters this year and create that perfect ‘twosomes’ moment with our one-off passion inducing pie."
Num, num...
Piles of sauerkraut
tumbled out of a truck on a busy German motorway and quickly froze to the
autobahn surface, causing a massive traffic jam near Frankfurt during Tuesday's
morning rush hour, police said.
A truck carrying
hundreds of packages of the famous German pickled cabbage delicacy crashed into
another vehicle before dawn near the western town of Friedberg near Frankfurt
and scattered its contents across the motorway.
With temperatures
far below zero for the last week, the sauerkraut froze almost instantly and
created impassable obstacles, causing traffic to back up for 10 km. The
motorway was completely shut down for four hours while authorities struggled to
scrape the frozen sauerkraut away.
Frankfurter and sauerkraut; num, num, num, num, num....
Cash was offered by five women to commuters at busy bus
stations up and down the UK but an average of only eight people at each
station, out of thousands of bus travellers, took up the offer.
Women wearing a sandwich board that read "Ask me to pay
your bus fare and I will" were positioned at bus stations in Newcastle,
Medway, Manchester, Perth and Leicester, but were mostly just ignored.
The experiment ran during morning rush hour each day for a
week and just 38 people in total across the country accepted the offer.
When questioned, the minority who did eventually accept the
free cash admitted they were reluctant at first because they thought the offer
was too good to be true.
Those who did accept were generally teenagers, suggesting
that the older we get the more cynical of goodwill gestures we become.
Bollocks-if someone offered me free cash I’d snatch their arm
orf...
And finally:
Win Sein Taw Ya is the largest reclining Buddha in the world
and at 30 meters high and 180 meters in length can be seen for miles.
Located opposite of the Buddhist shrine of Kyauktalon Taung,
the reclining Buddha is filled with rooms that showcase dioramas of the
teachings of Buddha and a shrine. When visiting the giant Buddha it should be
remembered that despite the odd novelty of walking into a giant head, it is
still a place of worship, and shoes should be removed before entering the
shrine.
Wouldn’t work in Blighty everyone wears the same
trainers....
And today’s thought:
Finally got it in Bernard
Angus
