Thursday, 18 December 2008


I watched the above Prog last night; if you have a spare half hour, take a look.

Police Camera Action: Drink Driving Special

I don’t drink, so I can be self satisfied and smug.

But the “test subjects” reasons for Drinking and driving are pathetic, to say the least. One excuse was that “I don’t want to pay for a taxi” solution, either walk or have two less drinks.

The Breathalyser results are strange, I know that it depends on gender, body size and whether you have eaten, but, there was one lady that had eight Bacardi’s, and had a reading of four I think, but another young, had three drinks and was almost twice the limit.

These people like thousands of others deliberately drive to a “Pub” and drink far more than they should; they know they shouldn’t but don’t consider it to be “serious” to drive home afterwards.

I think that the results of this “test” adds even more weight to the ZERO LIMIT, as far as drinking and driving is concerned.

All the following stories come from The Voice of Reason.

The Best Real Funny Stories Found On The Internet

Some People

Dr Who's Phone Number Is 07700 900 461, Why Doesn't Anyone Answer?

Viewers of the BBC television science fiction series Dr Who are said to be livid with the BBC for clearly showing viewers Dr Who's cell phone number and then, when they rang it, viewers get a network error message.
Apparently 2,500 people tried to call the number before the end of the show on Saturday evening.

Recession Tip Number 1: Save Money On Bills By Faking A Heart Attack

A 52-year-old Milwaukee resident has been charged with attempting to defraud a restaurant, according to a report we have seen on
The charge could result in a 9-month prison sentence, or a $10,000 fine.
The man, who we will not name, apparently tried to avoid paying a cab fare first, and then a couple of weeks later a restaurant bill, by faking a heart attack.
He must have been a good actor because he was taken to hospital both times.
He got away with the cab fare.

Some Places

I’ve done this before but a bit of fun never hurts.

Welcome To Shitterton (And Other Rude UK Names)

Shitterton is a village in Dorset, southwestern England.
The local council, according to a report we have seen on, are considering changing the name to Sitterton.
To get to Shitterton, before they change the name, according to the website,, travelling from London - go down the M3, then M27, then A31.
Other rude names in the UK include: (Click the name to get the Google map of the place...)
Cockington (near Torbay), Lickey End (part of a group of 'Lickeys', Bromsgrove, Worcestershire), Nob End (near Bolton, Lancashire), Thong (near Gravesend in Kent), Ugley (between Saffron Walden and Bishop's Stortford in Essex), Pratts Bottom (south of Orpington in Kent), Wetwang (Yorkshire Wolds), Twatt (north of Stromness in Orkney), Balls Green (between Tunbridge Wells and East Grinstead), Penistone (west of Barnsley in South Yorkshire), Bitchfield (south of Grantham, Lincolnshire), Tosside (Lancashire), Prickwillow (east of Ely in Cambridgeshire), Crapstone (Devon), Cockermouth (Cumbria), Titlington (west of Alnwick in Northumberland) and finally Upper Dicker (East Sussex).

Some Robots

Real Life Robo Cop, Armed With Water Pistol Patrols Streets

Atlanta, USA: The robot, or 'Bum Bot', is a waist-high box type creation with the words "SECURITY" on the side.
It has bright red lights, a spotlight, a video camera and a water cannon.
It is remotely controlled by its owner, who can also speak through the Bum Bot's loudspeaker.
It patrols the streets and has apparently led to a reduction in break-ins in the neighbourhood.
A number of neighbours have complained about it, and a number of the homeless on the streets have apparently complained that the bot is 'intimidating'.
The owner, Rufus Terrill, who says he may run for mayor of Atlanta, according to the reports originally seen on the Daily Telegraph, says the Bum Bot will be his Chief of Staff and sit outside his office...

Some Writers

Latest 'Street' English Translations Of Shakespeare

Shakespeare has just been updated into modern English, this time by British satirist Martin Baum in his newly released book, "To Be Or Not To Be, Innit."
He apparently told reporters that his aim was to update "the important sexist, duplicitous, cross-dressing and violent moments that made William Shakespeare well wicked."
Some of his re-titling of Shakespeare's classics include:

All's Sweet That Ends Sweet, Innit
De 'Appy Bitches of Windsor
Much Ado About Sod All
De Taming of de Bitch
Two Geezas Of Verona

Some choice quotes from the book:

'Amlet: "Dere was somefing minging in de State of Denmark."
Or how about this from the opening of Romeo And Juliet:
"Verona was de turf of de feuding Montagues and de Capulet families.
"And coz they was always brawling and stuff, de prince of Verona told them to cool it or else they was gonna get well mashed if they carried on larging it with each other."
The book is available on Amazon. We have not been paid for this report. Quotes taken from Ananova.

And they wonder why the “English Language” is disappearing.

And finally

Some Ghosts

Householder Not Told His New House Was Haunted, To Sue Previous Owner

An Italian family moved in to their new home in the Umbrian town of Spoleto in 2005, according to a report we saw on Ananova...
The hauntings apparently started that night, according to the new owners...
Water seeping under the bathroom door
luminous green mould appeared all over the walls
rattling chains
his lawnmower burst in to flames
his wife's car burst in to flames
Local folk told reporters that an exorcism had taken place on a girl in the house in 1977...
... the house had also been built close to a cemetery (Pozzi Ginori)...
The new owners have decided that they are going to sue the old owners who hadn't told them it was haunted, as they presumably ran for the hills...
Ya ha haaaaaa......

At least it makes me feel more normal.


1 comment:

CherryPie said...

The people from that drink driving special sound totally selfish and irresponsible!