Tuesday, 3 February 2009

‘SNOW FUN

It’s snowing down here in ‘Ampshire, which will cover the ice that formed overnight, and make it even more fun to go out.

If you are lucky enough to be snowed in, here are a few stories to keep you company.

Following on from the man who wanted his kidney back from his wife during their divorce- Excite News VICTORVILLE, Calif. (AP) - Prosecutors say a spurned lover ambushed his ex-girlfriend and tried to cut out the breast implants he paid for by stabbing her. San Bernardino County prosecutor David Foy says 28-year-old Thomas Lee Rowley attacked his ex in July 2006 outside her mother's home in Hesperia, some 70 miles northeast of Los Angeles in the Mojave Desert.

Rowley is on trial in Superior Court in Victorville for attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, stalking, burglary, and false imprisonment.

The 26-year-old woman survived six stab wounds and the punctured breast implants were repaired.

Rowley's former roommate Dennis McGill testified this week that the defendant wanted to reclaim what was rightfully his. Rowley allegedly told McGill, "I'm gonna cut 'em out and get em back."


And carrying on with the divorce theme-CROYDON A circus performer has had prehistoric ivory from a mammoth tusk implanted as teeth because he could not bear to part from it during his divorce.
Hannibal Helmurto, of the Circus of Horrors, did not want to split a 40,000-year-old mammoth tusk he purchased in 1993 with his wife when they recently got divorced.
The sword wielding circus performer, who is appearing at the Fairfield Halls in Croydon this weekend, decided to have the tooth fitted into his own mouth instead.


From the BBC a court's refusal to convict a police constable who reached 159mph on a motorway of speeding and dangerous driving is being challenged.
Pc Mark Milton, 38, from Telford, Shropshire, was recorded by the patrol car's video camera on the M54 in 2003.
District Judge Bruce Morgan cleared him after hearing he was "familiarising" himself with a new car.
High Court judges were asked on Tuesday to decide whether an officer could lawfully drive at those speeds.

One law for them?


From Sky News new questions are being asked about aviation security in America after a man packed himself in a crate and 'posted himself' back home. Charles McKinley shipped himself from New York to Dallas in an airline cargo crate.
He was even delivered to the door of his parent’s house - and broke out of the box on the lawn.
"My husband asked him, `Man, what are you doing in this crate?' He said he was coming home," his mother told KDFW-TV in Dallas.
Officials have launched an investigation to find out how he got past security at three airports.
Wonder if he went first or second-class?


Should you or shouldn’t you? NHS: Rosie Palm's Revenge the University of Nottingham say “Hands off” "Masturbation is linked with an increased risk of prostate cancer when practised frequently by young men in their twenties and thirties." Frequently, in this case, being in excess of 20 times a month.

The Australians say “go for it”- Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest. . Masturbation Reduces Men's Chance to Develop Prostate Cancer

Does this mean that Nottingham are abstainers while the Aussies are wankers?


Belligerent Badger “A QUIET corner of rural England was recovering yesterday after a bruising encounter with Boris the badger.

Five people were put in hospital and two police officers were sent scurrying for cover after the bad-tempered creature went on a 48-hour rampage through Evesham in Worcestershire.
As the last victim returned from hospital yesterday, after having skin grafts to his legs and an arm, residents described Boris’s arrival as being like a scene from a horror film.”

The moral: never go into your garage to investigate strange noises.


Klingon interpreter sought for mental health patients Position Available: Interpreter, must be fluent in Klingon.

The language created for the "Star Trek" TV series and movies is one of about 55 needed by the office that treats mental health patients in metropolitan Multnomah County, Oregon.
"We have to provide information in all the languages our clients speak," said Jerry Jelusich, a procurement specialist for the county Department of Human Services, which serves about 60,000 mental health clients.

Although created for works of fiction, Klingon was designed to have a consistent grammar, syntax and vocabulary.

"There are some cases where we've had mental health patients where this was all they would speak," said the county's purchasing administrator, Franna Hathaway.”
What can you say?

Maybe “yIDoghQo'” (Don't be silly.) or “naDevvo' yIghoS” (Go away.)


If you want to see our great leader at his best take a look at

http://angusdeipolitico.blogspot.com/

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." Victor Borge

Angus

3 comments:

CherryPie said...

A Badger it a pretty big animal to be attacked by!

James Higham said...

From this, should we all masturbate more?

angus said...

not sure James, I think it depends if you are in Australia or not.

Mind you people have been calling me a wanker for years.