Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Heavens above; Mrs Numpty; Mass theft and Immortality

Bit of a short one today (I blame the cold weather) because I have an early appointment at the dentist.

But a couple of news snips-Sydney has turned orange, and the BBC is arrogant, nothing new there then.

So straight to it.


First up:




Gunther Link prayed for release when he was trapped in a lift, a short while later he was pulled out of the elevator and being a devout Catholic went straight to the church to thank God and was killed when the 860lb altar fell on him.

Link was reported missing by his cousin, and found the next day by parishioners going to Mass at the Weinhaus Church in Vienna.

Hahslinger concluded: "He seems to have embraced a stone pillar on which the stone altar was perched and it fell on him, killing him instantly. We have found his fingerprints on the pillar. We are now investigating the case further."


Thank God I’m an agnostic.







And so is a tattoo across your forehead, Karolyne Smith has to live with a permanent billboard on her forehead after she accepted Goldenpalace.com's offer of $10,000 for the 'advertising space'. She needed the money to send her son Brady to a private school.Karolyne said: ""I really want to do this. To everyone else, it seems like a stupid thing to do. To me, $10,000 is like a million dollars.""I only live once and I'm doing it for my son. It's a small sacrifice to build a better future for my son."

Smith's eBay auction attracted more than 27,000 hits and 1,000 watchers. Bidding reached $999.99 before Goldenpalace.com; an Internet gambling company met Smith's $10,000 asking price. Goldenpalace.com also gave her another $5,000 for her trouble.Another person, inspired by Karolyne is currently auctioning his forehead as ad space on eBay.


And this tattoo isn’t going to embarrass her son at all when she turns up at his private school to collect him is it?


A former postal service employee has pleaded guilty to stealing more than 30,000 DVDs that moved through a western Massachusetts post office.

Myles Weathers, formerly of Springfield, took DVDs that were mailed by Netflix to customers for a year beginning in January 2007.

Federal prosecutors say the movie rental company alerted Springfield post office officials that a suspiciously high number of DVDs were disappearing. As many as 100 movies a week were disappearing.

Weathers was arrested in February 2008 after investigators filmed him taking DVDs from packages and slipping them into his backpack.

He faces 10 months to 16 months in prison and restitution costs of about $38,000 at his Dec. 23 sentencing.

Weathers' attorney did not immediately return a call seeking comment Tuesday.

Just over $1 per DVD, so why do I have to pay £10 each for mine?


And finally:


Scientist Ray Kurzweil claims humans could become immortal in as little as 20 years' time through nanotechnology and an increased understanding of how the body works.
The 61-year-old American, who has predicted new technologies arriving before, says our understanding of genes and computer technology is accelerating at an incredible rate.

He says theoretically, at the rate our understanding is increasing, nanotechnologies capable of replacing many of our vital organs could be available in 20 years time.

Mr Kurzweil calls his theory the Law of Accelerating Returns. Writing in The Sun, Mr Kurzweil said: "I and many other scientists now believe that in around 20 years we will have the means to reprogramme our bodies' stone-age software so we can halt, then reverse, ageing. Then nanotechnology will let us live for ever.

"Ultimately, nanobots will replace blood cells and do their work thousands of times more effectively.

"Within 25 years we will be able to do an Olympic sprint for 15 minutes without taking a breath, or go scuba-diving for four hours without oxygen.

"Heart-attack victims – who haven't taken advantage of widely available bionic hearts – will calmly drive to the doctors for a minor operation as their blood bots keep them alive.

"Nanotechnology will extend our mental capacities to such an extent we will be able to write books within minutes.


This would mean I would be 78, and who wants to be 78 for ever.




4 comments:

Dedene said...

That poor bastard! Never trust God.

Great story about the nanotechnology. But you're right, I would have preferred that they had developed this about 15 years ago!

Gregg Beaman's Blog said...

That poor girl with the tattoo on her bonce will be really pissed off when she finds that $10,000 actually isn't just like $1,000,000.

angus said...

Wonder how far $10,000 will go in school fees, one or two terms maybe?

James Higham said...

As she probably couldn't sell her body, then the forehead was the next best thing.