Friday, 18 March 2011

Save the civilians: Airbus in the dock: Oregano bust: Northumbrian no nuts: “Urban Art” on the council: Simona sensual and her Plastic headlights: and Bolshoi boss buggers off.

‘tis damp, dark and dismal at the Castle this morn, the butler is back in the dungeon feeding fat teenagers to the furnace, the kitchen is half full of dismembered laptops, and my “day off” is just a distant memory.

Before the “news”:

My contrribution to Red nose day:


And:




Cumberland sausage has been successful in its bid to be made only in Cumbria.
It now ranks alongside the likes of Champagne, Parma ham and Greek feta cheese in having Protected Geographical Indication (PGI) status under EU law.
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) said the move would guarantee its heritage and be a major boost for Cumbria's butchers.
Other protected UK food and drink products include Cornish clotted cream and Stilton cheese.
To display the PGI mark, the sausage must be produced, processed and prepared in Cumbria and have a meat content of at least 80%.
Recipes vary from butcher to butcher, but must include seasoning and be sold in a long coil.

I do like a nice long hot sausage…..




Apparently Western forces could launch bombing raids against the Libyan regime as early as today after the UN backed international military action.
The intent of this concerted effort is to “protect the oil civilians from that nasty Gaddafi who has allegedly only become a murdering despot in the last two weeks.
The RAF could become involved in any operation by this evening, according to British sources. However, the raids may be spearheaded by an Arab nation such as Qatar or the UAE.

Just as well, we could only muster a couple of WW2 Spitfires, and then we don’t have the pilots because “someone” sacked them all.




A week after the Fukushima Daiichi plant was crippled by the earthquake and tsunami, the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) said the situation remained "very serious". Graham Andrew, the scientific and technical adviser at the UN safety body, said there had been "no significant worsening" of the situation, but the No 4 unit remained "a major safety concern".
Asked whether frantic attempts to cool the plant with sea water had been a success, he said: "I think it's too early to say that. It hasn't got worse, which is positive. But it's still possible that it could get worse.
"So I'd rather not speculate. I think we'd say it's reasonably stable compared to yesterday."

Something to look forward to then…………and apparently the worst thing to come out of this debacle will be the dearth of IPhones, memory chips and computers, nice to see we have it in perspective.




A French judge has filed preliminary manslaughter charges against European aircraft maker Airbus over a crash in 2009.
All of the 228 people onboard were killed when an Air France flight from Rio de Janeiro to Paris came down in the Atlantic Ocean on 1 June that year.
The preliminary charges pave the way for further investigation.
The cause of the accident is not known, though sensors on the aircraft sent faulty speed readings to pilots.
Airbus says no one can know for sure what happened as the so-called "black boxes", which monitored events during the flight, have not been recovered.
Next week, a fourth attempt to find the voice and data recorders will get underway.
The search involves dives to depths of up to 4,000 metres (13,120 feet) to examine the ocean floor between Brazil and West Africa.
Special robots will be used in the search.
"We are convinced if we find the black boxes we'll be able to reconstruct what really happened on this tragic flight," said Airbus chief executive Tom Enders.

You think?



To Virginia, Seventh-grader Adam Grass and three other students at Hickory Middle School in Chesapeake, Va., were suspended last week after being caught with what teachers initially thought was a bag of marijuana but turned out to be a stash of oregano, The Virginian-Pilot reports.

Unfortunately for the disciplined boys, now facing expulsion, there isn't much of a difference between Italian herbs and Mary Jane, at least in the state's eyes. According to school board member Christie Craig, Virginia has a zero-tolerance policy against "imitation controlled substances."

Wouldn’t take any pepper to put on your boiled egg then.


A man had surgery to re-attach his testicles after his girlfriend allegedly bit them off.
Maria Georgina Topp, 43, has appeared in court accused of the gruesome attack on Martin Douglas.
Martin, 45, had to dial 999 for an ambulance but was in so much pain it was difficult for operators to understand what he was saying. The couple had returned to his flat after a drunken night out when the attack is said to have happened at 4am.
Paramedics who arrived contacted police due to the severity of his ­injuries and Topp was arrested.
Self-employed DJ Martin needed emergency surgery after the incident in Newcastle and spent days recovering from injuries to his genitals and an arm before he was released from hospital.
Mum-of-four Topp, of nearby Gateshead, has been charged with causing grievous bodily harm.
A court granted her bail on condition she did not enter the city or approach Martin.

Why were his nuts on his arm? Still, at least she didn’t swallow…..




Teenagers are being taught how to spray graffiti – by a local council using taxpayers’ cash.
Free classes in “urban art” could be a training ground for vandals in Hayling Island, Hants, said The Taxpayers’ Alliance.
But artist Mark Lewis argued it would “motivate” youngsters to be creative.

Sigh………I’ve been there many times, there is sod all to spray graffiti on.


A Romanian TV star who was caught driving without a licence blamed an emergency caused by her new breast implants.
Simona Suhoi, 28, faces up to five years in jail after police found her behind the wheel a month after she was banned from driving.
The former singer and designer, who is known as Simona Sensual, was pulled her over for not wearing a seatbelt in her home city of Bucharest.
She said: "I admit I shouldn't have driven the car but I had no other choice.
"You see, I was having terrible pains in the chest, I think it was because of these brand new breast implants.
"I tried to get a taxi but they were all busy so I jumped into the car and dashed for the clinic. I mean, what was I supposed to do?"
Ms Suhoi, who had her licence suspended when she was involved in a traffic accident, says she will contest the charge in court.
Air-head Numpty.

And finally:




The head of Russia’s world-famous Bolshoi Theatre ballet troupe has resigned after erotic photographs purporting to be him appeared on the internet.
Hundreds of "pornographic pictures" of Gennady Yanin, 42, were posted online and then circulated via a web link to thousands of email addresses.
The soloist who has led the troupe since 2005 handed in "voluntary leave" following the scandal.
He said he had long been considering his future and took the opportunity presented by the image release to stand down.
The website where the pictures were reported to have appeared has been shut down.

Shame, I like a bit of ballet.

That’s it: I’m orf to probe Mercury (not Uranus)
And today’s thought: I love nature . . . in spite of what it gave me.

Angus


2 comments:

James Higham said...

A French judge has filed preliminary manslaughter charges against European aircraft maker Airbus over a crash in 2009.

Wot, only that crash?

Angus said...

One down.......