Sunday, 16 October 2011

Euro prop: Bat crossings: Peanut inflation: Bank bonuses: Don’t shoot Obama: and adopt an onion.

More than a whimsy of “mists and mellow fruitfulness” at the Castle this morn, the butler is desperately shoving fat teenagers into the furnace, the study is finally devoid of all things broke and bollixed up and his Maj is bored because he has nothing to play with-and this is why.

Said he was willing to consider a plan to increase the International Monetary Fund's firepower, provided a rescue deal had been agreed that would bring the two-year sovereign debt crisis to an end.
Osborne's qualified support for the creation of a larger global safety net could see the UK commit further loans to the IMF, though officials said a comprehensive rescue deal would make extra demands unlikely. His remarks were designed to support moves by G20 finance ministers to arrive at a definitive solution to the crisis while appeasing rightwing Tory MPs who have voiced concerns about extending further loans to the eurozone.

 Along with 64 million Brits...

Civil servants have come under fire for spending half a million pounds of taxpayers' money - on building bridges for bats.
The Highways Agency has spent almost £500,000 on the five bridges across Norfolk in the past three years.
Now it wants to build six more bridges - which direct them over busy roads to avoid being hit by cars - as part of plans to widen the A11 near Thetford, Norfolk.  

Cheaper to put in pelican crossings....


Peanut butter prices are set to shoot up in the coming weeks following one of the poorest peanut harvest seasons growers have seen in years.
Prices for a ton of runner peanuts, commonly used to make peanut butter, hit nearly $1,200 this week, according to estimates by the U.S. Department of Agriculture. That's up from just $450 per ton at this time last year.
Shoppers should expect these price increases to spread their way.
Kraft will raise prices for its Planters brand peanut butter by 40% starting Oct. 31, while ConAgra's Peter Pan brand will see prices jump between 22% and 24% this month, according to company spokesmen. A spokesperson for Unilever, which produces Skippy, would say only that the company "is watching the commodities market very closely and will take pricing adjustments as needed".

Marion Nestle, a nutrition professor at New York University said "For the average person in America," she said, "it would be a good idea to eat less of almost everything."

Back in the bunker Marion.

Bank staff are being offered Christmas party bonuses, free meals and other prizes to push more credit cards, loans, insurance policies and other products to customers.
Australia's biggest lender - the CBA - has launched a "double up" campaign to push personal bankers and tellers into selling twice as many products, such as increasing credit limits, each week.
The other three major banks - the NAB, ANZ and Westpac - are also forcing branch staff to meet stringent weekly sales targets as the "big four" battle for market share.
An internal CBA document obtained by The Sunday Telegraph reveals the pre-Christmas push to supersize customers - increase their credit limits, convince them to take out home and contents policies and open up new accounts.
"We are under increasing pressure from competitors who are looking for a greater share of our retail banking business," CBA retail banking boss Ross McEwan says in the document.
The briefing reads: "The campaign encourages sales teams to double their sales productivity during October and November to earn double the fun (and funds) at their end of year team celebrations."

As long as the W Bankers are going to have a good Crimbo.....

US secret agents feared a Royal Navy warship was about to blast Michelle Obama after it left its guns trained on her hotel room.

Spooked minders ordered the captain of HMS Edinburgh to stop pointing the Sea Dart missiles in the direction of the First Lady’s five-star suite.
But the guns contained only blanks loaded by sailors during a ceremony to mark the death of a colleague on board.
A source said the agents told them: “You can’t point those guns at the First Lady.”
But the minders were last night accused of over-reacting and they should have had known the Navy would not put anyone at risk, particularly the wife of the US president.
Mrs Obama was on an ­official visit to Cape Town, South Africa, when the ship came into port with her ceremonial Sea Dart missiles on show.
As she was moored the guns could be seen pointing at the five-star Table Bay Hotel where Mrs Obama was staying.

If only...

And finally:

Diane Connor and three friends have set up a website appealing for veggie lovers to ‘save’ bulbs that have been forcibly pickled in jars.
The mother of four said: ‘I got the idea in the pub. There was a group of us talking about the different things you can adopt for charities.
‘One of the blokes with us said something like, “You may as well adopt a bleeding pickled onion”. When I got home I started thinking about it and thought it might actually work. I hope to make millions.’
The £6.99 adoption gift package includes a greetings card, certificate and a postcard from your chosen onion – each of which has a name and back-story.
Mrs Connor, 46, from Hextable in Kent, has written to Dragon’s Den investor Peter Jones and is desperate for a return on her £3,500 investment after husband Patrick’s building company went under.

IQ of an onion.....

And today’s thought:Get the facts first . . . you can distort them later       


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