Friday, 28 October 2011

Old age: Market forces: Killer rights: Vic’s Knicks: Pumpkin Pillock: and the Roman Empire fine.

Wet, windy and wanting at the Castle this morn, the study is filling up with comatose computers and his Maj is waiting for next Wednesday when he has his dangly bits lopped orf-not. 

Getting on a bit isn’t a lot of fun, bits stop working properly, things seem to move on their own accord to places that you can’t find, you move a lot slower but time seems to speed up, you buy more food but eat less and the face in the mirror doesn’t look like you at all. 

No; at one time not so long ago age was a sign of wisdom and maturity deserving of respect, now it appears that those of us who are tottering towards the last of the summer wine are just a burden, we are economically void, and all “they” can see is an ever increasing drain on the economy.
The latest attack on the teenage challenged is that the ‘government’ funding for nursing homes and support for frail pensioners has been cut by almost a fifth.
More than £1.3 billion has been removed from councils’ annual spending on help for the over-65s since the Coalition came to power, House of Commons analysis found.
Most councils are increasing the fees they charge families for home help and meals on wheels as they attempt to plug the funding gap left by Treasury cuts.
Last year, son of a B...aronet (and alien reptile in disguise) George Osborne, who apparently is the Chancellor, promised an extra £2 billion for councils to spend on care homes, meals on wheels and help for the elderly and disabled with daily tasks such as washing and dressing.
The analysis of government figures conducted by independent researchers in the Commons Library suggested that this extra money, which was not “ring-fenced”, had not made it to the front line.

 Probably because “we” have sent it to India in “aid”, makes you think...doesn’t it?

Britain's top company directors have enjoyed a pay rise of almost 50% in the past year, taking their average earnings to almost £2.7m.
A study of FTSE 100 companies by Incomes Data Services (IDS) showed that the 49% increase, which covers salary, benefits and bonuses, was higher than the 43% seen by chief executives.
Average bonus payments for directors increased by 23% from £737,000 in 2010 to £906,000 this year, said the report.
Steve Tatton of IDS said: "Britain's economy may be struggling to return to pre-recession levels of output, but the same cannot be said of FTSE 100 directors' remuneration.
"The generous remuneration packages that FTSE 100 directors now receive indicate a marked improvement in boardroom fortunes. 

Unlike the rest of us.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) claim the chain of theme parks violate the rights of killer whales under the 13th Amendment of the US Constitution.
Five performing whales at SeaWorld - Tilikum, Katina, Corky, Kasatka, and Ulises - are listed as plaintiffs in the complaint.
"All five of these orcas were violently seized from the ocean and taken from their families as babies," said PETA president Ingrid Newkirk.
"They are denied freedom and everything else that is natural and important to them while kept in small concrete tanks and reduced to performing stupid tricks," she said.
SeaWorld San Diego labelled the lawsuit, filed in the city on Tuesday, as "offensive". 

So why aren’t the Orca families suing then?

A large pair of Queen Vic’s white silk bloomers, with a price tag of £3,000, is to be sold alongside a selection of other undergarments.
Black-and-white, hand-stitched silk stockings she wore when she went into mourning over the death of husband Prince Albert are expected to fetch between £500 and £800.
And three pairs of silk stockings, a lace night-gown and a pair of her gloves will also be sold.
The collection comes from the contents of Old Battersea House - the London home of the Forbes family, the American publishing dynasty.
The items will be auctioned by Lyon and Turnbull at their Edinburgh salesroom on November 1.

Must have a look through the Angus draws draw, there may be gold in them thar pants...

A teenager attacked with a pumpkin was taken to hospital Wednesday in a town north of Toronto.
Police said they were called to a high school where a 59-year-old man and a 17-year-old chased down another boy over a dispute. The 17-year-old then assaulted the victim, who is 18, while the man cheered him on. During the attack the victim was hit on the head with a large pumpkin, police said.
He was treated by paramedics and taken to hospital.
The man and the teen, both of Innisfil, were arrested.

The pumpkin was sentenced to be hollowed out and a silly face cut in the front and dragged around the neighbourhood by begging children.

And finally:

Police in Sicily issued a whopping 32,000 Euros ($44,500) fine for an illegally parked car after totting up 2,000 years of interest by mistake, Italy's Repubblica newspaper said Wednesday.
The interest due was calculated from the year 208 A.D. after a policeman dated the fine back to the year 208 instead of 2008.
"When she opened the envelope with the parking fine, the owner of the vehicle had a dizzy turn and had to be taken to hospital," the paper said on its website.
The police later acknowledged the error and the woman's husband stumped up the 102 Euros actually due. 

He should pay it in Denarius.

That’s it: I’m orf to look for Drake’s body-should be easy to find-it‘ll be the one with bowls on it.

And today’s thought: Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.


No comments: