Thursday, 12 January 2012

Top Gear in reverse: More for the EU: Graduating to free work: Big Pussy up North: Stainless virgin: Finger painting: and a stuffed Monkey.

Cold, damp and a smidge dismal at the Castle this morn, things are springing up in the garden that shouldn’t be there until...well spring, and I have purchased a couple of vandalism tools-an axe and a three foot bow saw which will come in very useful when I do a bit of “pruning”. 

The new android phone is not bad, gets the internet OK, works well on hands free, has loads of “apps”-you tube, Google etc, and even makes phone calls...

And Blogger is behaving itself today.

This time the “presenters” have managed to piss orf the whole of India.
During the 90 minute programme, Numpty Clarkson, one of the BBC’s highest paid stars, was filmed speaking to locals while operating a trouser press in his boxer shorts and with a Jaguar with a lavatory fixed to the boot.
The programme makers also put banners on trains reading: “British IT is good for your company”. Another said: “Eat English muffins”. The messages became obscene when the carriages parted, ripping the signs-“shIT is good for your company, and “eat English muff”.

21 July 2011

Letter from Chris Hale, producer, Top Gear to Indian High Commission, London
“Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May will travel across India in three cars filming a light hearted road trip focusing on the journey and the inevitable idiosynacies of the cars they will drive, as well as the country and scenary we see along the way.
“There will be spontaneous interaction between the presenters and their environment, and potentially people they meet along the way. This will be in an incidental manner, not interviews.
“Key ingredients of what we film will be beautiful scenery, busy city scenes, local charm and colour within these locations, areas to illustrate the local car culture that exists in India.”

6 January 2012

Letter from Indian High Commission, London to Chris Hale, producer, Top Gear
cc Mark Thompson, director general, BBC
“The programme was replete with cheap jibes, tasteless humour and lacked cultural sensitivity. This is not clearly what we expect of the BBC. I write this to convey our deep disappointment over the documentary for its content and the tone of the presentation.
“You are clearly in breach of the agreement that you had entered into, completely negating our constructive and proactive facilitation. We strongly protest and expect the BBC to make amends, especially to assuage the hurt sentiments of a large number of people.”

No sense of humour these sub-continentals...


Son of a B....aronet (and alien reptile in disguise) George (my dad’s richer than your dad) Osborne reckons that Britain may need to pour billions of pounds into the International Monetary Fund to give it the resources to deal with more financial crises.

The “chancellor” told MPs, in an appearance before the Treasury select committee, that Britain would be willing to make a contribution if there was a "well-argued case put forward". But he stressed that any extra funds must be used for general purposes, and not to bail out troubled eurozone countries directly – and reminded MPs that he might have to go parliament for approval for any sizable contribution.

"If it is a good case then ourselves and other countries like Japan, like Australia, will look at that, I am sure, favourably,"

Go and get a proper job Osborne.

Cait Reilly, who has been looking for work since leaving Birmingham University, was volunteering at a museum until she was ordered to take a work placement at a Poundland store in the city.

The geology graduate spent two weeks stacking shelves and sweeping floors after being told she could lose her benefits if she did not accept the ‘mandatory’ post. She is now asking the High Court to quash regulations that her lawyers claim were created by the government ‘without parliamentary authority’ and ‘forces people into futile, unpaid labour for weeks or months at a time’.

The 22-year-old, who was not offered an interview following her placement, told her Jobcentre Plus adviser of her previous retail experience and that she did not want to give up volunteering at the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery.

The Department for Work and Pensions said: ‘Our priority is to help people off benefits and into work. It is simply absurd to suggest that we should not be providing this support and effectively leaving people at home doing nothing.’

Poundland was unavailable for comment last night but said earlier: ‘Our partnership with JobCentre Plus is a positive step to get people back into work.’

Yeah right; especiallyif they don't have to pay them...

Dog walkers discovered the mutilated carcass of a roe deer on National Trust land near Stroud last week.
The injuries to the neck of the deer and the way the carcass had been consumed are believed to be highly indicative of big cat activity.
Experts have taken DNA samples from the remains of the deer to see whether a big cat, such as a puma or panther, could have killed it.
Local big cat expert Rick Minter, who has visited the site of the discovery at Woodchester Park, said: "It is very helpful to have this forensic study of the deer carcass.
According to Mr Minter "In the event of a close-up encounter, you should stay calm and face towards the animal as you back off, but not threaten or aggravate it.

"The chances are it will have backed off very quickly first."

I do like an optimist....

Some people say they've seen the likeness of the Virgin Mary in a stainless steel wall at a Tampa restaurant coincidentally named Hamburger Mary's,
Streaks on the shiny wall near the kitchen bore an uncanny resemblance to the Madonna, according to two women eating lunch in a nearby booth, The Tampa Tribune says.
The holy vision was so powerful that one woman wept, according to a manager who talked to The Tribune. Both ladies took pictures to savour the moment.
It hasn't exactly become a pilgrimage site like Lourdes, but word has spread in recent days and customers have been eager to see the wall, according to The Tribune.
Some might be surprised that the so-called Mother of God appeared at a diner known for gay karaoke nights and drag-queen shows, but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

No shit.....

A street artist, who creates amazing landscape pictures in just three minutes despite using nothing but his fingers, has become an online hit.
Fabian Gaete Maureira, from Chile, paints 'fingerscape' images containing mountains, waterfalls, trees and sunsets without picking up a paint brush.

Instead he simply dips his fingers in paint and then applies it directly to sheets of glass rather than canvas.


 And finally: 

Preston James Phipps was detained by a police officer after he hit the cop with a stuffed monkey.
Police officer Andrew Pirtle was struck by the stuffed animal toy after trying to arrest 24-year-old Mr Phipps, a resident of Des Moines in Iowa, who was seen by Pirtle after robbing a corner store.  
Officer Pirtle had reported seeing Mr Phipps walking out of the store carrying two stuffed animals, but thought nothing of it. It wasn't until he was later informed about a robbery involving the toys that he reacted.
Pirtle approached Mr Phipps questioning him about his recent whereabouts on the Saturday night when the incident took place. It was at this point when the 24-year-old became aggressive towards the officer giving him a right hook... with the stuffed monkey he was holding.
Police reports revealed that Mr Phipps had entered the Git-N-Go convenience store robbing it of not only the two fluffy toys, but also a pair of sunglasses and double packs of smokeless tobacco.
He was charged with fifth-degree theft, disorderly conduct and assault on a police officer.

The monkey was unharmed....

And today’s thought:



James Higham said...

Oh to live on the sub-continent.

Angus said...

warm,cheap and interesting-I'm orf to heathrow...