Saturday, 31 March 2012

BMW box bangers: Care from a Virgin: Barmy burglars: Eat me: Neutrino Numpty: and Smokin Dahn Unda.


A definite lack of vertical distance in the liquid metal gauge at the Castle this morn, the big warm yellow thing has been replaced with lots of opaque sky stuff, the butler is back to shoving fat, carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace and his Maj has discovered the joy of waiting for me to “cultivate” the borders and then leaving me a present.


To all those plonkers who didn’t panic but rushed to their nearest go-juice station to “top up” their tanks-you have been had by the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition who has raked in quite a lot of loot from human nature...



Still in battery powered Blighty


BMW is recalling more than 100,000 cars in the UK due to a battery problem which could in extreme cases cause a fire.
A BMW spokesman said it was recalling 109,000 5 Series and 6 Series models in the UK because of "an issue with a battery cable cover which, in a small number of cases, has been incorrectly fitted. In rare cases this could result in owners not being able to start their vehicle. In extremely rare cases the electrical system could malfunction, leading to a scorching of the boot floor and a fire may result. This issue has come to light through the continuous testing and development of BMW vehicles and some customer feedback.”
No accidents or injuries to a person have been reported. The number of cars affected by this recall during the seven-year time frame in the UK is 109,000. Owners of affected cars will be contacted in the coming weeks and asked to arrange a visit to their dealer.

Any concerned BMW 5 Series and 6 Series owners should contact the BMW customer service number on 0800 325600.


Should have gone to Honda...




Thousands of patients are to be cared for by staff working for a private company after Virgin Care finalised the biggest outsourcing deal yet for running day-to-day NHS services.
The company, part-owned by Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Group, has signed a £500 million, five-year contract to run a wide variety of community health services in Surrey.
Virgin Care will take over the running of Surrey Care Services, part of NHS Surrey, the local primary care trust.
Responsibilities include running eight community hospitals, where elderly people often recover after an operation, before being sent home.
Virgin Care will also provide community nursing - helping people stay at home, or providing end-of-life care - and health visitors for parents with young babies.
Other services being outsourced include breast cancer screening, sexual health clinics, specialist dental work, physiotherapy and rehabilitation.
About 2,500 NHS staff will be transferred to Virgin Care, although an NHS Surrey spokesman said there would be "no change" to their pay and conditions.
A joint statement from NHS Surrey and Virgin Care claimed: "This is essentially a transfer of management and follows national guidance that allows the trust to focus on developing, buying and managing the performance of services, leaving the provider to concentrate on delivering services."

Anne Walker, chief executive of NHS Surrey, described it as "excellent news for patients, carers and staff".


Yeah right...tell us that in a year or so when the “truth” comes out...





Plod has come up with a cunning plan to prevent burglaries-by breaking into people’s homes.
Police in Shoebury, Essex, have been going round testing doors and windows of houses to check if they have been left unlocked - and if they find an easy way in they will wake up the household to warn them their house is insecure.
The new police campaign is aimed at warning people of the dangers of late-night break-ins.
 

That should make some poo come out....





At the 'Salon du Chocolat' in Bordeaux, France chocolate dresses are on show.



Num. Num, num and don’t forget that according to “experts” eating choccy will make you slim...






Antonio Ereditato CERN’s project's coordinator has disappeared at less than the speed of light after they discovered that neutrinos don’t blow Einstein’s theory into the past.

Probably some biscuit crumbs in the works-again...


And finally:




New Zealand's first cannabis club has installed a vending machine to dispense the drug.
The club, the Daktory in the West Auckland suburb of New Lynn, has been using the machine to avoid any members being charged for dealing in the drug.

The hired vending machine, usually filled with toys or confectionery, sells one gram bags of cannabis for $NZ20 ($15.70), the AucklandNow website reports.

The Daktory opened in November 2008, but after its founder Dakta Green was jailed in June 2011 for possessing, selling and allowing the warehouse to be used for drug taking, its doors closed.

It has since been used as the headquarters for the National Organisation for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (Norml).

However, Norml president Julian Crawford confirmed the Daktory club was again open for business.

Mr Crawford said the vending machine has been a “hit” with guests.


Sounds a bit potty to me....






And today’s thought:

Private health care





Angus


2 comments:

Bernard said...

Chocolate dresses?
They must be cold old fridged birds not to melt the choco?
When I was a lad, chocolate drops would melt in your hand!

Angus said...

When I were a lad they never lasted long enough to melt Bernard the button:)