Wanker Bankers deferred bonuses: Mind your manners: Hog nosed skunk: Chuffin bonkers: and Cruising to save the world.

Oodles of lack of warm, nary a sprinkle of white fluffy stuff, absence of atmospheric movement and less sunny stuff than you could shake a solar panel at, at the Castle this morn, the butler is loading up the furnace conveyer belt with gangs of fat, carbon neutral teenagers and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from the top of the wardrobes.

And it seems that up Norf the wevver has not been as clement, which will please the school kiddlies no end.

And after a week and three days Blogger still hasn’t sorted out the IE/photos problem.

 

And as our standard of living quickly sinks into the mire of piss poor policies 

 

Pressure is building on Son of a.......Baronet and alien reptile in disguise George (let the plebs starve to death) Osborne tonight to introduce emergency measures to prevent big city banks from deferring multi-million pound bonus payments to their UK staff until after the 50p top rate of tax is abolished in April.

Allegedly Goldman Sachs was one of a number of city institutions looking at pushing back the pay-out date for deferred bonuses awarded in 2010, 2011 and 2012 until after April 6 when the top rate of income tax drops to 45p.

A number of foreign banks are also understood to be considering a similar move to (allegedly) Goldman. Bankers at state backed Royal Bank of Scotland will also benefit because it regularly pays bonuses in June.

 While the Treasury; run by the ginger headed rodent said matters of tax compliance was “for HMRC” and that they did not comment on the tax affairs of individual companies.

 

But do not forget-WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.....

 

Apparently the female of our species are a suspicious lot 

 

According to Mark Hall, Gentleman Creation Officer for Socked.co.uk "Men's standards have slipped so far over recent years that any offer of chivalry from a gentleman knocks a woman off their guard and is viewed with outright suspicion.

The survey carried out by the online service, which helps men to dress well and offers free tips on etiquette, revealed just how much women rejected chivalrous behaviour.

The survey said:

82% of women said they would prefer to pay for their dinner on a first date

52% said they would happily pay for the entire bill on a first date

89% of women said they would not take up the offer from a man to carrying their bag

78% would not accept a coat from a man on a cold day

Only 34% of women said they expect men to open doors for them

8% said they would take up the offer of a seat if a man offered. In London, this figure was only 2 per cent.

 

The survey also came up with some surprising answers:

98% said they would like to be bought flowers, but only 32% had actually received flowers in the past twelve months

41% of women agreed men should be able to wear dresses

 

Oh dear, but at least we can wear a frock....

 

West to the home of the Big Country and the land of smelly animals 

 

A group of rafters camping along the river in August was headed for bed when they noticed a black-and-white animal in the bushes near one of their tents. Jen Hiebert grabbed her camera, zoomed in and took some pictures.

When the rafters didn't see the skunk listed as one of the animals found at the Grand Canyon, Hiebert sent photos and a note to the National Park Service.

"It was just walking through the canyon, totally ignored us and was just digging away in the sand," said Hiebert, of Moscow, Idaho. "I'm not sure what it was after."

Grand Canyon biologists later confirmed the group's suspicion that it was a hog-nosed skunk.

At first, officials weren't sure whether the skunk was merely visiting the area, or if they should to add it to the list of about 90 mammals that live in the national park. They decided that by listing it - even as extremely rare - people might be on the lookout for more of the skunks, and that could help biologists determine how prevalent they are in the park.

 

U-Turn Cam isn’t in the ex-colonies by any chance is he?

 

Up a bit to what is one of our colonies

 

Canadian Jason Schron loves VIA trains so much that he actually spent four and a half years and $10,000 building his own genuine replica of a 1980s VIA train cart, accurate down to the tiniest details, right in the basement of his home, in Vaughan, Ontario. 

Not bad for $10,000 Canadian Dollars or £9.50 in proper money.

 

In a galaxy far, far away

 

Astronomers have discovered the largest known structure in the universe – a group of quasars so large it would take 4 billion years to cross it while travelling at speed of light.

The immense scale also challenges Albert Einstein’s Cosmological Principle, the assumption that the universe looks the same from every point of view, researchers said.

Quasars are believed to be the brightest objects in the universe, with light emanating from the nuclei of galaxies from the early days of the universe and visible billions of light-years away.

“Since 1982 it has been known that quasars tend to group together in clumps or ‘structures’ of surprisingly large sizes, forming large quasar groups or LQGs,” the society said.

This newly discovered large quasar group has a dimension of 500 megaparsecs, each megaparsec measuring 3.3 million light-years.

Because the LQG is elongated, its longest dimension is 1,200 megaparsecs, or 4 billion light-years, the society said.

That size is 1,600 times larger than the distance from Earth’s Milky Way to the nearest galaxy, the Andromeda.

 

Old Albert will be spinning in his cryogenic chamber.

 

And finally:

 

Back to the home of barmy and the land of Scientology 

According to a ‘bombshell’ new book, “Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & The Prison of Belief” Tom Cruise who is number 3 in the Hubbard hierarchy will save the world from aliens, he has signed a billion-year contract of service with the Church of Scientology, the book details Cruise’s demigod status within the church, as well as the group’s ultimate purpose — protect humanity from aliens living in our bodies, who are bent on destroying us and ultimately the planet.

 

Billion year contract-I do like an optimist....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to keep an eye on Java 

And today’s thought:

RBS car park. 

 

Angus

Up your pension: Ambo bonus: German Numptys: Pizza cones: and the Runit Dome.

 

Major lack of warm, minor solar stuff, minimum atmospheric movement and sod all skywater at the Castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread (£1.45 per loaf) gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, I managed to struggle through the non-blizzard on the non-icy road without freezing to death and return to the non-snowed in Castle safely.

And Blogger still haven’t got their mouse/s out of their arses and sorted out the photo insertion do-dah, I have been fucking about with this post since before 8 of the am.

And it keeps freezing up.

When I got back his Maj showed me what he thought of the news.

 

 

 

Old farts will be hopping with joy 

 

Allegedly there will be a new flat rate pension of £144 plus inflation rises between now and 2017. The current full state pension is £107.45 a week, but can be topped up to £142.70 with pension credit.

At the weekend, the Daily Telegraph reported that more than six million workers would pay higher NI contributions under the shake-up.

Those affected are expected to include around 1.4 million private sector staff enrolled in final salary schemes and contracted out, said the Telegraph. 

The flat-rate pension will be paid only to new pensioners reaching state pension age from a date expected to be 6 April 2017, the government is expected to announce. Millions of existing pensioners, and those who qualify before then, will get their entitlement under the current system.

 

And when does this daft old fart “retire”-17 September 2016.....

 

All across the Smoke

 

 

Apparently emergency service staff is being offered bonuses to avoid sending out 999 ambulances, control room staff have been told they will each receive £250 if they can reduce the number of ambulances sent to 999 calls, by getting callers to rely on another health service like a GP or NHS Direct.

London Ambulance Service, Britain’s largest, is giving out the cash in an attempt to save its ambulances for the most pressing emergencies - and hit national targets for responding on time.

Managers say they are struggling to cope with rising demand, with the number of calls from people seriously ill or injured rising by 14 per cent in the last year.

A spokesman said control room staff would receive the bonus if, on average, they referred 30 per cent of callers deemed to have minor health problems to other health providers, such as out-of-hours GPs, NHS Direct or pharmacists.

Paul Woodrow, director of service delivery for London Ambulance Service, defended the incentive system, saying it was designed to ensure that ambulances were saved for those who needed them most.

He said: “We are incredibly busy and need to make sure we have enough ambulances available for our most seriously ill and injured patients.

 Nice....

 

Orf the Italian island of Giglio 

Coastguards have criticised five German cruise ship passengers who hired an inflatable boat to get a close-up look at the wrecked Costa Concordia liner.

The group, including two children, had to be rescued after their tiny boat was swamped by waves, whipped up by storm force winds. All were suffering from the effects of the cold.

Officials said the party were holidaymakers from the Costa Magica, a cruise liner from the same Costa Cruises fleet as the ill-fated Concordia, which struck rocks last year leaving 32 people dead off the Italian island of Giglio.

The Germans had arrived at Civitavecchia and made their way to Porto Santo Stefano where they hired the boat so they could take a look at the stricken Concordia which is still lying on rocks just outside the entrance to Giglio harbour.

Although they managed to sail the 10 miles from Porto Santo Stefano without any problem, on the return leg the weather suddenly changed and the boat got into difficulties.

But it managed to stay afloat and they were picked up by a coastguard vessel which took them back to the mainland.

Once on dry land, they were given hot drinks and wrapped in thermal blankets and after being given the all-clear by paramedics they were taken back to Civitavecchia where they resumed their cruise ship holiday.

A coastguard spokesman in Porto Santo Stefano said: ''It was a pretty stupid thing to do. They were lucky that it ended as it did - they could have quite easily sunk.

 Shit for brains tossers.....

 

All across blizzard Blighty 

Dags Hofrats, 23, has come up with the Pizza Cone, which costs £2.70 and comes in nine flavours including pepperoni, mushroom and spicy chicken.

Dags said: “It’s very easy to eat, doesn’t make a mess. I love them, and have one every day.”

The cone is made from pizza dough and Dags imports the ingredients from Italy.

He started a trial at Glasgow Caledonian University campus and sold 1,000 in just six weeks. Now he plans to sell them nationwide.

 

Num, num, num.

 

And finally: 

West a fair way and dahn even more 

Photo credit

Enewetak Atoll is a large coral atoll of 40 islands in the Pacific Ocean, located 305 kilometres west from Bikini Atoll, and was a major test bed for nuclear weapons, post World War II. Before Enewetak came under the control of the United States as part of the Trust Territory of the Pacific Islands, it was under the Japanese control that used the atoll as refuelling stop for planes flying between Chuuk Lagoon and the islands to the east. After the capture of Enewetak, it became a major forward naval base for the U.S. Navy. Then the island was evacuated and the nuclear tests began.

Between 1948 and 1958, Enewetak Atoll witnessed 43 such as tests including the first hydrogen bomb test in late 1952 as part of Operation Ivy, which vaporized the islet of Elugelab.

In 1977, an effort to decontaminate the islands of Enewetak began. During the three years that followed, the military mixed more than 111,000 cubic yards (85,000 m3) of contaminated soil and debris from the various islands with Portland cement and buried it in a 30-foot deep, 350-foot wide blast crater on the northern end of the atoll's Runit Island. The crater was created by an 18 kiloton test bomb nicknamed “Cactus” on May 5, 1958. A dome composed of 358 concrete panels, each 18 inches thick, was constructed over the material. The final cost of the cleanup project was $239 million.

After the completion of the dome, the United States government declared the southern and western islands in the atoll safe for habitation in 1980, and residents of Enewetak returned that same year. Today, you can visit the dome and stomp across the surface.

 Or maybe not.......

 That’s it: I’m orf to x-ray my black hole

 

And today’s thought:

Revenge of the snowmen. 

 

 

Angus