Lamb leads us to slaughter: Terminal NHS: Show me your headlights: You must remember this: Cardboard Bicycle: and Bonktown.

Oodles of sunny stuff, just as much windy stuff, quite a lot of ex skywater and not a lot of lack of cold at the Castle this morn.

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food (which has gorn up again from £3 to £3.69 since Monday) run dahn Tesco, on the way out I popped into the go juice pump place and purchased a couple of cupfuls for twenty squids, it hardly registered on the go juice gauge (14.44 litres @ £1.389 pl).

 

Apparently the “new” health minister wants to help along the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition with their plans to privatise our dear old NHS.

Norman Baa Baa has backed greater private sector involvement in the NHS in his first public appearance since taking on the role.

Asked about greater private sector involvement in the NHS, he said: ‘I’m not a great fan of monopolies, in either the public or the private sector. If there’s never any challenge to the structure provided there’s a danger people can become complacent.

‘There is innovation from new insurgents. We need to embrace that.’

Mr Lamb went on to say that he hoped he could provide the ‘oomph’ from the centre of government to embed integrated care. He hoped to get a round table of experts together to advise him on how best it could work.

 

Who does he think he is-King bleedin Arthur?

 

And according to medics

 

Hospitals in England could be on the brink of collapse because of rising demand and the increasing complexity of patients' conditions, doctors warn.

The Royal College of Physicians' report said the number of beds had been cut by a third over the past 25 years.

It said at the same time emergency admissions had started rising and hospitals were seeing older patients with a wider variety of conditions.

And that standards were slipping in hospitals throughout England.

It cited the way older patients were repeatedly moved around wards, the lack of continuity of care while in hospital and tests being done during the night as some of the examples of how care was suffering.

The college also highlighted the results of feedback from its members, which showed concern about discharge arrangements and workload.

 

It’s taken them long enough to notice; standards have been “slipping” for years in hospitals, there are more consultants on the golf course and working in private hospitals than on NHS wards on a daily basis, and when the inevitable cock ups happen the medics, managers and the GMC rush to protect their own, their colleagues and their very well paid jobs.

 

Left to the land of intersections and norks

A woman is behind bars after police allege she was stopping motorists in Uniontown and offering to strip for money.

City police Officer John Kauer said Jackie L. Hatter, 35, was charged before Magisterial District Judge Randy S. Abraham with possession of marijuana and disorderly conduct following the incident at 8:40 a.m. Sunday.

Kauer said Hatter was flagging down motorists near the intersection of North Gallatin Avenue and Lenox Street for a report of a woman, later identified as Hatter, stopping drivers and offering to take off her clothing for cash.

 

Never happens to me at a junction...

 

Still the home of the Mnemonic and the land of memories

According to new research published in Nature Neuroscience, scientists have invented a method to induce memories in brains for the first time in history.

The study—published by Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine’s Professor of Neurosciences and Physiology/Biophysics Ben Strowbridge, PhD, and MD/PhD student Robert A. Hyde—shows a method to store different types of short-term memories, which they have successfully tested in brain tissue stored in vitro.

Titled “Mnemonic Representations of Transient Stimuli and Temporal Sequences in Rodent Hippocampus In Vitro”, their paper describes how they used a piece of mouse brain tissue to form the necessary circuits to record a short-term declarative memory. This type of memory can be something like names, places and events.

These neural circuits—located in the hippocampus—retained the memory from different stimuli for ten seconds. The researchers were able to observe the recording of these artificial memories by tracing the activity of the brain cells. According to Hyde, “the type of activity we triggered in isolated brain sections was similar to what other researchers have demonstrated in monkeys taught to perform short-term memory tasks. Both types of memory-related activity changes typically lasted for 5-10 seconds.”

 

About as long as my short term memory then....

 

Somewhere in a shed

 

A new recycled cardboard bike has been created which can support riders up to 220kg and costs just a tenner.

Over three years designer Izhar Gafni created a number of prototypes of what would eventually turn into the bike that he has named the Alfa using the fundamental principles of origami.

While the average bike weighs around 14kg the Alfa weighs less than 10 and its belt-driven design requires no maintenance. It could even be adapted to house an electric motor to make those hills even easier to tackle.

 

But what do you do when it rains?

 And finally:

 

East to the place where Bavarians live

The Bavarian town of Poppenhausen, translated as 'Bonktown', has decided to turn itself into one of the sexiest sightseeing spots in the country.

It has rebranded itself as a dirty weekend resort after town hall officials voted to start embracing the 'saucy' title.

Officials in Poppenhausen have now decided if you can't beat them, join them.

'We had lots of people coming to the town because of its name, because in German 'Poppen' is a slang word for making love,' explained a town hall spokesman.

'In the end we decided if you can't ban them, at least make them comfortable.'

Day trippers are encouraged to take a stroll through a one mile long love lane situated in the middle of romantic woodland.

Should they get tired; couples can take a rest on one of many heart shaped wooden seats.

Alternatively they can test out the woodland's specially made sloped double benches for couples to do what comes naturally.

Other exhibits to get visitors in the mood include a notice with how to say 'I Love You' in 100 different languages and a giant four leafed clover to bring newlyweds luck.

 

Chance would be a fine thing...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to double insulate the Castle before the EU has its way

 

And today’s thought:

What bicycle?

 

 

Angus

Gobsmacked: War on drivers: Naked squaddy: Tennis legs: Badly stuffed animals: and a Vampire rat.

Much, much less lack of cold at the castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, two weeks ago his fave grub cost £3.00, then last week it went up to £3.68, then this Monday it was £4.00 and today it is £3.00 again...

I was going to post yestermorn after my visit to the tooth puller, but I was so stunned that I couldn’t put finger to keyboard until now.

 

 

The long saga of the front “toof” has now reached epic proportions, as you may know just before last Crimbo I broke a piece orf one of my front “teef”, I went to the tooth puller in Jan, he decided that instead of repairing broken tooth he would grind it dahn to the root and stick a “cap” on it which he ‘printed’ out on his doo-dah.

The “cap” lasted 12 days, so I returned to have it refitted, seven days later it fell out again and I swallowed it. Back to the Dentist, who decided that I would have to have a plate with one toof on it-the plate made me vomit, was loose and eventually broke after a while.

Went back again to the ten miles away dentist, after a very long “consultation” with a junior, and probably the toilet roll he decided that my bite was too strong for anything else than a nice “toof” implant which was going to cost-wait for it-TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED pounds, oh yes £2,5000 for one biter.

After picking me up and reviving my poor old body he reiterated the price and asked if I wanted to “go ahead” with the procedure.

Needles to say my reply was not in the positive, but I did consent to a £50 ransom to have what are left of my pegs “hygienically cleaned”, because apparently they don’t do scale and polishes anymore under the NHS unless it is “clinically necessary”, and it takes too much time.

 

Why are we paying so much money into the NHS when all we get back is private bollocks....?

 

According to a left wing “Think Tank”

The war on the motorist is a myth and fuel taxes should be raised without delay, Pay as you drive road charging and congestion charging should also be widely implemented to raise funds for public transport, according to the Institute of Public Policy Research, which has close links to Labour.

The IPPR urged the Chancellor to press ahead with future fuel duty rises including 3p scheduled for Jan 1.

“Compared to users of public transport, there is no war on motorists,” said Will Straw, the IPPR’s associate director.

“Rail and bus users have seen fares spiral out of control while the cost of driving has actually fallen over the last decade.

Users of public transport rarely have an alternative, while car drivers can switch to smaller and more fuel-efficient cars and cut out non-essential journeys.

However the report was condemned by the AA. “Far from raising fuel duty the Chancellor should continue to freeze it to help stimulate the economy and lift some of the fuel burden from families and business.

A Government spokesman said: "The Government is embarked on the biggest programme of rail improvements since the Victorian era.

"Rail fares make a vital contribution to delivering these improvements. However, we are determined to bring get the cost of running the railways down to allow us to end the era of above inflation fare rises.

"We have also rightly taken action to support motorists at a time of high international oil prices. Pump prices are 10p a litre cheaper than if we had proceeded with the planned fuel duty escalator."

 

Thanks for sod all-the cost of road fund license is up, insurance is way up, MOTs are up and garages are now charging close to £150 per hour for repairs...

 

After my mention of a ginger haired squaddy in Las Vegas

It seems that said copper knob has been at it again, the squaddy formally known as Henry has allegedly been displaying his crown jewels to a young lady in a hotel room.

I refuse to show the pictures on the grounds that I don’t want MI5 banging on the portcullis to take me to the tower but if you are in need of a glimpse of copper knob click on the link over the picture, but I warn you that if you are of a sensitive nature-DO NOT click on the link....

 

Meanwhile still in the home of “glamour” and the land of the telephoto lens

Allegedly 25 year-old tennis ‘sensation’ Maria Sharapova put her legs on display while visiting the Hamptons.

 

Oh joy, I never knew that tennis players had legs.....

 

Somewhere in the ether

 

There is a Facebook page entitled badly stuffed animals.

The collection of bizarre taxidermy pictures has attracted more than 12,500 followers.

It includes stuffed animals in bizarre poses such as camel in a suitcase, a dog leap-frogging a globe and a squirrel in a flasher mac.

The page also features lots of animals stuffed by taxidermists who do not appear to have completely mastered the art. 

Love it.....

 

And finally:

 

East to the Indonesian bit of the world

An unusual species of rat that cannot gnaw or chew has been discovered, which scientists say is a new step in rodent evolution.

The rodent, called paucidentomys vermidax has fang-like upper incisors that are useless for gnawing and no back teeth.

The rat, which lives exclusively on earthworms, was found in remote rainforest on the Indonesian island of Sulawesi.

It has a rat's tail, a long, thin nose similar to a shrew's and its only teeth are incisors which are in the upper jaw and end in twin points.

The genus name paucidentomys means "few-toothed mouse" and the species name vermidax means "devourer of worms".

Seems logical...

That’s it: I’m orf to extract some uranium from the moat 

And today’s thought:

No comment.

 

 

Angus

 

Sport or supermarkets: Useless inept Doctors: Blurry women: It’s OK to steal: Ice cold noodles: and Tanks for the memory.

More than a smidge cooler at the Castle this morn, it is a mere 76f in the kitchen and a nice cool 84f in the master bedroom, no atmospheric movement and not a white fluffy thing in sight which means that I will be staggering about with the watering can to moisten the pots, hanging baskets and wall boxes this pre-noon. 

As the big sporty thing up in the smoke grinds to a halt

And U-Turn Cam is vomiting his usual spin doctor sound bites about how much the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition is doing for the not very healthy kiddlies by selling orf oodles of school playing fields he may like to take a look at what is happening up Norf in Leeds.

Where  an area of what is now scrubland, an abandoned swimming pool and sports centre – left to crumble behind a high security fence when fee-paying Leeds Girls' High School upped sticks and joined the middle-class flight to the city's northern fringes to merge with the boys' establishment in 2008.

If developers get their way the site could become the home of a new supermarket-owned convenience store and 25 houses.

The plan has been signalled for approval by Leeds City Council officers next week

But Martin Hamilton, a local councillor, said young people in his ward needed all the help they could get. "It leaves a bitter taste in the mouth when you are having all this success in the Olympics and you are stopping all these kids from less privileged backgrounds from playing sport," he said.

A spokeswoman for Leeds City Council said the development would not give rise to any unacceptable consequences for the environment, community or other public interests.

Yeah right, strange thing is Leeds council has a Labour majority....

And all across Olympic Blighty

Allegedly Doctors are failing to record accurately the cause of up to a quarter of hospital deaths, a study suggests.

A pilot scheme designed to prevent a repeat of the Harold Shipman murders found that one in 10 death certificates did not even have the correct category of disease.

It also means that families are often told the wrong cause of a loved-one’s death.

Dr Alan Fletcher, a consultant at Sheffield Teaching Hospitals, was appointed Britain’s first “Medical Examiner” to check the accuracy of death certificates as part of a move to tighten up procedures in the wake of the Shipman case.

He checked 8,000 death certificates from the Sheffield area against detailed medical notes and case histories but found inaccuracies in about 2,000 of them.

Often doctors had listed the immediate trigger for a patient’s death, rather than the root cause.

Examples included patients with terminal cancer who were classed as dying from pneumonia as that was the condition which caused their final deterioration.

In about 40 per cent of those – or a tenth of the overall total – the cause of death given on the certificate was a different category of disease.

For example a patient who was bed-bound with severe dementia which led to pneumonia was classed as dying as a result of respiratory illness rather than a neurological condition.

He said doctors were failing to read the “story” set out in patients’ records.

"I don't believe there is someone of murderous intent patrolling hospital corridors,” he told The Guardian.

Well he would wouldn’t he-being a Doctor.....

East to the land that has been fought over for many, many centuries

The latest prescription for extreme ultra-Orthodox Jewish men who shun contact with the opposite sex: Glasses that blur their vision, so they don't have to see women they consider to be immodestly dressed.

In an effort to maintain their strictly devout lifestyle, the ultra-Orthodox have separated the sexes on buses, sidewalks and other public spaces in their neighbourhoods. Their interpretation of Jewish law forbids contact between men and women who are not married.

Walls in their neighbourhoods feature signs exhorting women to wear closed-necked, long-sleeved blouses and long skirts. Extremists have accosted women they consider to have flouted the code.

The ultra-Orthodox community's unofficial "modesty patrols" are selling glasses with special blur-inducing stickers on their lenses. The glasses provide clear vision for up to a few meters so as not to impede movement, but anything beyond that gets blurry - including women. It's not known how many have been sold.

For men forced to venture outside their insular communities, hoods and shields that block peripheral vision are also being offered.

The glasses are going for the "modest" price of $6.

Obviously didn’t go to Specsavers



Over to the Sub-Continent

Apparently a minister in India's most populous and politically crucial state, Uttar Pradesh, has said bureaucrats can steal a little as long as they work hard - sparking national outcry in a country whose ruling class has long been mired in corruption scandals.

"If you work hard, and put your heart and soul into it ... then you are allowed to steal some," Shivpal Singh Yadav told a gathering of local officials in comments caught on camera. "But don't be a bandit."

Uttar Pradesh, which is bigger than Brazil by population, was earlier governed by 'Dalit Queen' Mayawati. She has been criticized for spending millions of rupees on building statues of herself and buying diamond jewellery despite widespread malnutrition and poverty in her state.

Now why does that sound so familiar?-you got to pick a pocket or two.....

Still in the right hand side of the world where no one is affected by nuclear stuff

Nissin, famous worldwide for it Cup Noodle products, will be introducing an interesting new product: cold instant noodles.

This new product is prepared by mixing ice into the noodles, giving you a whole new instant noodle experience.

The noodles are a bit chewier and the usual salty flavour is lessened.

The release is supposed to be in response to the summer season and recent electricity problem Japan faces.

Cold instant noodles are an alternative way to cool down. Instead of using air conditioning, one can simply eat and at the same time beat the heat.

Or you could have a cold nice glass of glowing water...

And finally: 

Right quite a lot of linear units

Folks having a summer dip and catching some rays on a beach near Kaliningrad, Russia got a bit more than sunburn when a convoy of military tanks hurtled through the sands.

The reason, it is claimed, is that Russian authorities instruct the military, where possible, to transport their tanks and other heavy-duty vehicles on the sand so not to damage the country’s road network. 

So how do they get them to the beach then?

That’s it: I’m orf to watch the annual Perseid meteors this dark thing

And today’s thought:

Think I’ll miss this one-Olympics

Angus

Careless NHS: Live high-die younger: Puffin poser: Industrial parrot: Boob clamp: and Carbonaceous chondrites.

The usual at the Castle this morn-wet/dry, sunny/cloudy/ windy/calm, hot/cold, just a normal “summer” day in the central part of Blighty then.

The left elbow is feeling much better, the industrial strength pain killers have worn orf, the nightmares and hallucinations (as proven by yesterday’s post) have stopped and all is calm this Saturday.

A nice bit of music for those who live in more than a bit damp bits of the country.

There is a nice new widget on the left sidebar so that those who believe in it can keep a check on the global warming thingy.

And the interweb thingy is behaving rather badly-again.

According to The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine

Almost 1,000 patients are needlessly dying in NHS hospitals each month as a result of poor patient care, Researchers concluded that blundering medical staff committed basic errors in more than one in 10 cases, in which a patient died.

Apparently mistakes occurred because hospital staff made wrong diagnosis or gave out wrong drugs.

In some cases they failed to adequately monitor patients – such as failing to check a pulse or blood pressure – or react when their condition deteriorated.

The study found that something went wrong with the care of 13 per cent of the patients who died in hospitals.

An error only led to a death in 5.2 per cent of these cases, which was the equivalent to nearly 12,000 preventable deaths in hospitals in England every year.

It found that errors of omission were more frequent than active mistakes.

The study based on analysis of 1,000 deaths at 10 NHS trusts during 2009, found that most of the patients who died were elderly and frail and suffering from multiple conditions although some were aged in their 30s and 40s.

Personally I think they have underestimated the figures by about 200 per cent, is this the “new” way to curtail spending on pensions and care for the old, or is it just consultants and senior consultants who would rather be on the golf course than get their hands dirty on the wards?

It seems that Old Albert was right

Einstein's theory of relativity states that time and space are not as constant as everyday life would suggest. He suggested that the only true constant, the speed of light, meant that time can run faster or slower depending on how high you are, and how fast you are travelling.

Now scientists have demonstrated the true nature of Einstein's theory for the first time with an incredibly accurate atomic clock that is able to keep time to within one second in about 3.7 billion years – roughly the same length of time that life has existed on Earth.

James Chin-Wen Chou and his colleagues from the US National Institute of Standards and Technology in Boulder, Colorado, found that when they monitored two such clocks positioned just a foot apart in height above sea level, they found that time really does run more quickly the higher you are – just as Einstein predicted.

Marcus Chown reckons that "It's a very small effect, but it brings these esoteric effects into the everyday world. It shows that if you want to live longer, buy a bungalow," he added.

I know someone who will be chuffed about that...

Norf of the border

Young puffins have invaded
a seaside town, with one bird found waddling along a corridor at a hotel and another turning up at a car showroom.

The fledgling puffins or “pufflings” are normally resident this time of year on islands in the Firth of Forth such as the iconic Bass Rock, but experts say the birds are being attracted by the bright lights of nearby North Berwick.

The coastal East Lothian resort is the base of the Scottish Seabird Centre, where staff have been advising residents on how to deal with the visitors. Recently, a puffling, since named “Buddy” by the team at the centre, was found wandering the Macdonald Marine Hotel & Spa.

I do hear that they are quite nice cooked in milk sauce with bacon....

Still Norf of Hadrian’s masonry

Police called out to deal with a noisy neighbour complaint in Glasgow were shocked to be confronted by a swearing parrot.

Officers turned up to an address in Govan to find Pepe, a yellow-headed Amazon parrot, who used to live in a taxi office.

The bird was screeching out phrases such as "taxi for Govan Road", as well as more industrial language, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Pepe's embarrassed owner John McAlinden said: "He mainly shouts out bookings, like 'taxi for Govan' and 'taxi for Lidl'. He also says things like 'car one', 'car two' and '10-4'.

"He also uses a fair bit of industrial language, which is a bit near the knuckle. I think he may have become stressed by his move but I'm now giving him some drops to try to calm him down."

He added: "He's a bit of a handful and I'm sorry if he's caused any upset to my neighbours. Hopefully he's learned his lesson and will settle down a bit."

A Strathclyde police spokeswoman said: "We were contacted by a member of the public who had made a complaint about noise.

"Officers attended and it was quickly ascertained that the culprit was indeed a parrot. The owner was given advice and no further action was taken."

I do hear that they are quite nice in a stew...

East to the land that had the last dry Olympics

Comes the boob clamp, otherwise known as the corset.

Num, num, num.....

And finally: 

According to “experts”

Asteroids from the inner solar system are the most likely source of the majority of Earth's water, a new study suggests.

Conel Alexander, of the Carnegie Institution of Washington analyzed samples from 86 carbonaceous chondrites. These primitive meteorites are thought to be key sources of the early Earth's volatile elements, such as hydrogen and nitrogen.

The team measured the abundance of different hydrogen, nitrogen and carbon isotopes in the chondrite samples. Isotopes are versions of an element that have different numbers of neutrons in their atomic nuclei. For example, the isotope deuterium — also known as "heavy hydrogen" — contains one neutron, while "normal" hydrogen has none.

The amount of deuterium in celestial bodies' water ice sheds light on where the objects formed in the solar system's early days. In general, bodies that took shape farther from the sun have relatively higher concentrations of deuterium, researchers said.

The 86 chondrite samples' deuterium content — which the team gleaned from clays, the remnants of water ice — suggest the meteorites' parent bodies formed relatively close to the sun, perhaps in the main asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.

Yeah. Right; all I know is that there is far too much of the bleedin stuff....

That’s it: I’m orf to watch Lemurs sliding towards extinction

And today’s thought:

Solo tantric sex Olympics#2

Angus

What’s up Doc: What’s his name goes gay: Swamp soccer: Penny Mortgage: Caged car: and the Radio controlled Model bramble ramble rescue.

Wet, cold and windy at the Castle this morn, it chucked it dahn most of the night and will apparently chuck it dahn for most of today. 

Oh to be in England now that Summers Gorn.....

All across the almost privatised NHS

It seems that one in five junior doctors are carrying out operations and procedures which are beyond their capabilities.

A ten-year-study tracking the training of junior doctors by the British Medical Association they were asked to look after complex patients, carry out procedures and make decisions that were beyond them.

One in five junior doctors who were in their first year of specialty training, three years after graduating, said they had been given tasks beyond the capabilities

Overall one in ten junior doctors said they have been faced with tasks that were beyond them.

One doctor said they were solely responsible at night in an emergency department all year, despite guidance saying this should not happen.

Another, training in dermatology, was responsible for out of hour’s duties in the stroke and spinal units of a hospital. The unnamed doctor said: "These are both highly specialised and not at all relevant to (my) job at the time. Only one morning's training given."

Another said they were dealing with 'very complex patients undergoing procedures' with 'very limited clinical experience and no senior support'.

I had suspicions of this some nine years ago, but no one listened, especially the ‘Orspital knobs.

What’s his name-the Deputy Prime Monster

Has apparently come out at last, and flew a rainbow coloured flag over his office in Whitehall for the first time on Friday, hailing a “new era" of gay pride.

The Deputy Prime Minister flew the flag - a symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender pride - to coincide with London’s gay pride event this weekend was a “small but important emblem”.

After he called for churches and other religious premises to be allowed to host gay weddings thingy said he was delighted to be “flying this iconic flag in the heart of Whitehall”. 

I had my suspicions a few years ago but no one listened, especially the other Eton chap.....

East to the place where the last dry Olympics took place

After the European footy thingy the swamp soccer tournament has begun.

More than 32 teams entered the mud competition, currently in its second year, held in the Chinese capital of Beijing.

Playing in a 25m x 15m swamp, the mud-lovers compete in 30-minute games consisting of two 12-minute halves, sandwiched between a six-minute half-time break.

With no offside rule or penalty spot, there's bound to be a few swamp competitors playing dirty, as well as a few tough tackles inside the area.

Swamp soccer is thought to have started in north-east England as a fitness exercise for soldiers.

The first official organised game took place in Finland in the late 1990s, with the craze later sweeping across the globe from the UK to Brazil.

There are currently an estimated 260 registered swamp soccer teams around the globe.

 

Maybe they could start one at Silverstone this weekend or the Olympics.

West to the home of the Prime and the land of the Toxic

A Massachusetts man who pledged to make the last mortgage payment on his home with pennies has fulfilled that promise.

After warning his bank, Thomas Daigle dropped off about 62,000 pennies weighing 800 pounds in two boxes for the final payment on the Milford home he and his wife, Sandra, bought in 1977.

He tells The Milford Daily News he just wanted to make his last payment on April 24 "memorable."

He started saving his pennies when he moved in.

The optician says his wife laughed whenever he would pick up a penny he found on the ground and say it was going to the mortgage.

Daigle says he's just glad to have the coins out of his house.

Penny for your thoughts?

East about as many miles to its first service

A zoo in central Russia has put a caged car on display next to pumas and iguanas.

In the zoo in Lipetsk region, the cage holding the BMW sedan was adorned with a board reading "Yezdun", a made-up Russian word implying "very bad driving", according to the Gorod48.ru website.

"I drive. I don't think. I can't," the placard reads.

The stunt was to promote an international campaign for safe driving, in which the Lipetsk region is taking part, police said.

"A flagrant traffic offender is more dangerous than any beast," a police spokesman said.

Around 300 people are killed and a further 2,500 crippled every year on the roads of the region, which has a population of 1.2 million.

And all the visitors to the Zoo arrived by........?

And finally:

Back in amateur Blighty

And dahn in Devon; a model aeroplane enthusiast who had to be airlifted from a bramble bush has insisted his rescue was not a waste of public money.

Marcus Wilde had been flying a model aircraft near the Morte Point beauty spot at Woolacombe, Devon, when the plane crash-landed in the bush.

He started his hunt in a patch of soft bracken while being guided by a friend looking down from a slope above him.

However Mr Wilde could not see a 15ft drop in front of him and tumbled down the bank into the two-metre deep bramble patch.

He said "I was completely stuck upside down and covered in cuts. My clothes were ripped to pieces. The more I struggled, the worse it got.

He remained stuck upside down in the bush for more than an hour before the rescue helicopter came to his aid.

He said he was "angry and annoyed" with people who had labelled the rescue a waste of public money.

"This was not a trivial situation and I have found some of the comments against me very offensive."

Twat...

That’s it: I’m orf to get some new legs

And today’s thought:

Submersible Silverstone

Angus

Home NHS: Ticket to housing: No Mermaids-official: Fast read: and ET is home.

Still chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, spent the last couple of days orf doing “things” including a couple of hours and a quid or two having my annual Cholesterol fasting blood test up at the non magical Aldershot Centre for Elf where I sat with all the other “donors” in the cellar waiting for the “cashier number 2” board to announce my ticket number, listening to some inane “local” radio station and watching the receptionists (one of whom came in late) making themselves coffee and ignoring the ever ringing phones.

Which brings me onto other bits of the nearly privatised NHS

Hospitals are likely to see ward closures and fewer beds under the Coalition’s controversial NHS reforms, Andrew Lansley has admitted.

The Health Secretary argued the coming shake-up of the NHS would lead to “better services”, as more people will be treated in the home, rather than hospitals.

He has promised to protect “frontline services”, but around 60 hospitals are suffering dire financial problems because of deals sign with private companies under Labour.

The Health Secretary said whole hospitals would not “necessarily” close down because of financial pressures gripping the NHS.

However, wards and beds may shut as more people will be treated for health problems by GPs and at home under the reforms.

“If you have more services provided in the community, you will have less happening in hospitals,” he told LBC Radio. “That may mean wards shutting down, that might mean fewer beds."

The Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition argues the proposed legislation will give GPs greater control over treatment and make the health service more efficient.

According to a Labour “spokesperson”

“Before the last election David Cameron promised a bare knuckle fight against hospital closures," he said. "Now that those very A&Es and maternity wards are closing one by one, it’s clear this was yet another cynical promise on the NHS.”

So keep a room spare if you ever need an operation.....but don’t worry abaht our shit for brains “leaders”, they all have BUPA.

A story for the baby boom bashers 

First orf have a read of THIS over at Orphans of Liberty.

And then peruse the story below. 

A couple who were priced out of the housing market have spent £11,000 turning a double-decker bus into a home.

The self employed auto-electrician was desperate to move in with girlfriend, Stacey Drinkwater, 20, but the young couple couldn't afford to buy anywhere.

They couldn't save enough for a deposit and found it impossible to get a mortgage from the bank as Daniel is self employed so the electrician decided to buy the double-decker bus last October despite his mum telling him it was 'barmy idea'.

Daniel and Stacey now live in the converted 1991 Leyland Olympia and say they could not be happier with their solution to the plight facing first time buyers.

The bus, which was used on routes in Dublin and East Sussex is now kitted out with a double bedroom, a twin bedroom, kitchen, TV lounge, bar, toilet and bathroom.

It has full plumbing running throughout, a 220 litre water tank, and can be connected to mains electricity to power lights and appliances.

The kitchen has a hob, cooker, fridge and a sink with running water.

The vehicle is currently based on a plot of land, which the couple rent on the outskirts of Canterbury.

 Stacey said: 'I love it.

My friends love it everyone thinks it is just a brilliant idea.

'Our mates who also struggle with high house prices even want to come and build their own house bus and live next to us.

 

So BBB’s use a bit of what is laughingly called your brain, get orf your arses and do something instead of blaming everyone else...

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration there are no Mermaids

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the federal agency declares in a statement on its website.

NOAA, better known for issuing reports on such topics as fishery stocks and climate trends, was apparently moved to wade into the mermaid debate by an Animal Planet special that made the case for the mythical creatures’ existence. The special, called “Mermaids: The Body Found,” threw together “evidence” such as cave drawings, injuries to beached whales, and mysterious deep-ocean bloops to paint what it calls “a wildly convincing picture of mermaids, what they may look like, and why they’ve stayed hidden… until now.”

Glad that’s sorted out then....

Left a lot and dahn to the place that wants the Falklands

An Indie Argentinean publishing house has come up with an “innovative concept”, using disappearing ink that fades away in two months time.

Dubbed “El Libro que No Puede Esperar” (The Book That Can’t Wait), this “interesting” format was pioneered by independent Argentinean publishing house Eterna Cadencia, as a way to promote young authors, who ”if people don’t read their first books, never make it to a second.”

The books come sealed in a plastic wrapper, and once that is removed and the books cracked for the first time, the ink begins to age and in 60 days time readers are left with nothing but the covers and a bunch of blank pages. So if you want to get your money’s worth, you really can’t put one of these books down too often, after you’ve bought it.

Cupid stunt?

 

And finally: 

According to “experts”

There could be four intelligent alien civilizations in our galaxy.

That’ll make four then......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to paint a battery on my torch

And today’s thought:

HELP! Our horses are drowning Olympics

Angus