HOW ABOUT THAT!

Pigeon killed by cricket star Jacques Rudoph during match

Jacques Rudolph, the South African cricketer, accidentally killed a pigeon while attempting to throw the ball to a team mate during a Twenty20 match.

South African star Rudolph had launched the ball towards Yorkshire's wicket keeper from just inside the boundary rope when he accidentally floored the bird which had been flying at around 40ft above ground.

After mistakenly sinking the unfortunate pigeon, fielder Rudolph retrieved the lifeless bird from the pitch and disposed of it over the boundary in front of spectators inside Yorkshire's ground at Headingley, Leeds.

Rudolph then returned to his fielding position on the boundary, before waving sheepishly to the cheering home crowd.

Television commentators declared after watching replays of the one-in-a-million accident: "The ball's hit a pigeon, and the pigeon is no more. Jacques Rudolph is the man with the pigeon's blood on his hands here.


It’s a pigeon for God’s sake, now if it were an MP………..

600ft jellyfish crop circle found in Oxfordshire field

The vast pattern appeared in the field last week and experts are claiming it to be the first of its kind in the world.

Karen Alexander, a crop circle expert, said: "We have seen butterfly and bird patterns in the past, but this is the first jellyfish crop circle in the world.

"It is absolutely huge - roughly three times the size of most crop patterns and extremely interesting. People have been aghast at the size of it. It is a complete monster.

"We are looking into the meaning of it, but at present it just seems to have appeared out of nowhere."

Crop circle theorists known as 'croppies' - believe the patterns are created by UFOs during nocturnal visits, or caused by natural phenomena such as unusual forms of lightning striking the earth.

But it has been proven the patterns can be easily created

Or is it a “self portrait”?

Swimmers at Rome world championships face 'barcode' test


Competitors at the event next month will be scanned before they get into the water to check that they are wearing the costume which they said they would.

The idea is to stop them swapping their swim suit at the last moment to gain an unfair advantage.

It follows the move away from traditional swimming gear to hi-tech aerodynamic racing suits, including one developed with the help of Nasa scientists.

They are designed to reduce the amount of drag in the water and compress the swimmer's body into a more streamlined shape.

Scores of national and even world records have been broken over the past 18 months, including at the Beijing Olympics, since the emergence of the new costumes.

But there have been calls to ban the suits amid claims that the development amounts to a form of "technological doping".

Competitors' suits will be checked for bouyancy before the event and tagged. If they are not wearing the correct costume on the day they will be forced to change.

The procedure is in addition to drugs testing and other pre-race checks.

Just make them swim in the nude; at least it will make it more interesting.

Golf rage attacks as player hits man with club over ball squabble

A golfer hit a fellow player with a club in a 'golf rage' attack because he thought the man had played his ball, a court heard.

Harold Stafford, 54, flew into a rage and hit Barry Barnes, continuing to hit and kick him as he lay on the ground, it is alleged.

Mr Barnes was left with bruising to his eyes, cuts and bruises to his chest, and bruising to his back and his arms.

Mr Barnes said he and three friends were at the 13th hole when they noticed Stafford shouting at them from the third hole, parallel to them, where he and his two friends were playing.

The court heard Stafford approached Mr Barnes' group, accusing one of them of playing his ball. Mr Barnes said Stafford's shouting had caused him to miss a putt. With both men shouting and swearing at each other, Stafford hit Mr Barnes.

Stafford, from Luton, denies assault occasioning actual bodily harm. The trial continues.

Nice relaxing game golf, he shouldv’e stayed in the nineteenth.

Pampered-Manchester-United-stars-have-handyman-to-change-lightbulbS

Manchester United's Patrice Evra has revealed how stars at the club are so pampered that they can even get someone else to change their lightbulbs for them.

The 28-year-old Frenchman said his every whim was taken care of by the club's staff to ensure he can concentrate on his game.

Barry Moorhouse, the player liaison manager, presides over a team who are available 24 hours a day to have cars fixed, Jacuzzis repaired and domestic chores performed.

Evra, who lives in a £3 million mansion in Alderley Edge, Cheshire, told the Daily Mirror: “This club is a big family because everybody works together. You can ask Barry anything. When you have a problem with your car, the Jacuzzi or the light, he is there.

“When you see people like this you want to make them happy and win.”

Mr Moorhouse delights in his role, and was quoted saying: "Some people describe me as a Jim’ll Fix It.”

A club source told the Sun newspaper: "Barry and his team can arrange virtually anything - new car, new house, you name it.

"The manager wants players to concentrate on football, but some requests are ridiculous. They're pampered, they live in a bubble.

"Some wouldn't know how to change a lightbulb. And if Wags need something they are helped too. They're all treated better than the Royal Family."

Couple of points:

You would actually need an IQ to change a light bulb.

Where on a footballer would you put a light bulb? Oh yes, now I understand!



And finally:

Just for me -Unseen photo of Jane Fonda as Barbarella revealed

A previously unseen photograph of Jane Fonda as Barbarella by Paul Joyce is to go on display.

The 1968 film features a sexually voracious Fonda in the title role in a series of revealing outfits which creating striking images.

Director Roger Vadim, with whom Fonda later had a child, created one of the most memorable female roles at a time when sexual emancipation was a great social issue.

A precis of the plot on film site imdb.com, sums up the sexual nature of the plot: "After an in-flight anti-gravity striptease (masked by the film's opening titles), Barbarella, a 41st century astronaut, lands on the planet Lythion and sets out to find the evil Durand Durand in the city of Sogo, where a new sin is invented every hour.

What bloody plot, it was all bums and tits-now that’s what you all entertainment.

Exactly what a seventeen year old needs, well, it was for me back in 1968 anyway.



“We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” Anon


Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

SATURDAY SNIPPETS

If you can read this, you are lucky, illiteracy among people in the UK is the subject of a House of Commons Public Accounts Committee report.

Although the Gov spent £5 Billion on basic skills resources between 2001 and 2007, illiteracy and poor numeracy remain high.

In 2003, an estimated 75% of the adult population of working age had numeracy skills
below the level of a good pass at GCSE and 56% had literacy skills below this level. At that time, based on data collected in 1996

In 2006–07, around 8% of pupils (51,000) left school without Level 1 (GCSE grade D–G) mathematics and 6% (39,000) without Level 1 English. These young people are likely to require remedial action later in life to address these skills deficiencies.

Which goes to show that if you firk about with the education system enough, you can produce people who can’t read, write or add up.




Sneezing can be a sign of arousal.

Yet more expensive pointless research, Dr Mahmood Bhutta and Dr Harold Maxwell, investigated the phenomenon after reading of a middle-aged patient who had uncontrollable sneezing fits when he thought of sex. And also uncovered three people who claimed to sneeze after orgasm.
They unearthed evidence, via Internet chat rooms, of 17 others - of both sexes - with the same problem.

Dr Bhutta said, “that internet chat rooms could be a potential new tool for investigating the incidence of unusual or embarrassing symptoms that patients may not feel appropriate to discuss with their doctor.”

Two comments, if you sneeze AFTER orgasm then it is a bit too late to be aroused, and this isn’t research, it’s just an excuse to surf the web and talk to people in chat rooms.




Dementia patients are 'safe drivers'

Apparently patients with early dementia can drive safely, a survey has suggested.

The worrying bit is “The risk of crashes among Alzheimer's patients is "acceptably low" for up to three years after the disease becomes clinically apparent, they claim.”

Acceptable to whom?

I don’t believe in curtailing peoples’ rights but just one crash caused by a driver with dementia is one too many, dementia is a sad, cruel and extended illness and sufferers have my sympathy, but driving is controlling a two ton weapon among innocent people, shouldn’t licenses be revoked when the diagnosis is made?





A bit of goodish news for Doctors, the 48-hour week is not compulsory (ish), “Ministers said the European Working Time Directive limit would not have to apply to certain doctors working in emergency medicine, or in rural areas.
Instead, they will remain able to work up to 52-hours a week.”

Two thirds of doctors in the UK already work a 48-hour week.
The opt-out will apply to 20 to 30 units at trusts across the country, including services providing 24-hour care, extremely specialist teams and remote and rural units.

But a spokesman for the Royal College of Surgeons said: "Surgeons are clear that an impending crisis in quality patient care can only be headed off by working 65 hours a week including on call.
"The Department of Health announcement will do little to ease concerns.”

Will somebody PLEASE make their minds up?

Over thinking 'disrupts golf putt'

It seems that if you think too much about playing golf it affects your putt.
St Andrews University and US scientists said they had established that too much analysis made the golfer's game worse.

They said thinking too much about the previous shot can disrupt performance.
In total, 80 golfers were given shots to practise until they got it right. Those who discussed their putting between strokes took twice as long.

Again two comments, waste of research money and why does knocking a small white ball into a little hole cause people to think? (No I am not a golfer-waste of a good walk).

And finally.

Webber's fear for Eurovision act

Andrew Lloyd Webber has said he is worried that one of his Eurovision finalists may not cope well with representing the UK in Moscow.
The composer said that if the public voted for the wrong act he "might not go" to Russia in May, adding: "I really can't be a miracle worker."

Who cares? And who cares?

“Of what use is freedom of speech to those who fear to offend”? -Roger Ebert

Angus