Why I hate Tesco: Piss Poor Policies Dave C and his lordly mates: Silly Billy-my party’s bigger than your party: Italian Frog poachers: Big fish in Donegal: and a giant fish in Taiwan.

A touch chilly at the Castle this morn, still sunny, still no rain, still watering the hanging baskets, wall boxes and pots.

Had a nice day Sunday over at “M”s sister’s place, sitting in the garden chatting and listening to the sound of ice cream vans along with the smell of far off barbeques.

There are those who think that Tesco is the Bees jointy bits and like me those that think it is a giant rip off.

Stephen Pollard writing for the Torygraph seems to think that giant multinational supermarkets are the best thing since sliced what not, with quotes such as “It is fashionable among the Left-liberal intelligentsia to view supermarkets as some sort of uncouth offence against decency, fit only for the proles who subsist on multipacks of turkey twizzlers. Instead of driving off to shop at rapacious retail beasts we should be pottering down the high street, exchanging mid-morning pleasantries with our butcher, baker and candlestick maker.”

Something I have never been is a Left-liberal intelligentsia, I use Tesco because it is the only supermarket in my town, I use it because allegedly it is open 24hrs a day and the parking is free (for now), and I use it because the Butcher, the Baker and the Candlestick maker have been put out of business by the high rents for their non-shops.

I could go to Sainsburys in Farnham, or Safeway in Farnborough, both of which involve large volumes of traffic, annoyance and expense, but I use Tesco because of the convenience (the bowels aren’t what they used to be), but over the last few months I have noticed the prices spiralling, bread has gone up to £1.29 a loaf, luncheon meat is up from 60p to 72p, Pilchards in tomato sauce has risen from 75p to 95p, toilet rolls are up, cereals are up, kitchen rolls have exploded, coffee is off the scale, tea is extortionate, real meat costs more than gold and even the price of bangers is cooking.

I don’t hate Tesco because of my moral objection to them making money-that is what they are there for. I hate them because they are taking the piss out of the “normal” shopper who is trying to exist in today’s economic climate by driving up prices for people who don’t have a choice.

PPP Dave C has spent £6 million of our hard earned money creating 117 new peers since the non-election.

In the Conservative manifesto last year, Mr Cameron promised to slash the number of MPs from 650 to 600, saving £12m a year.

But the cost of swelling ranks in the House of Lords – at £156,000 per member – was £18.25m, more than £6m more.

A report last week claimed that Piss Poor Policies Dave’s decision to elevate 117 people to the Lords, more than any other PM in his first year, had led to a cramped upper chamber, with 792 peers.

No 10 indicated he will continue to create peerages to redress the balance in the Lords, where Labour is the main party.

Individual peers do not earn a salary but they receive a tax-free attendance allowance of up to £300 per day. A recent parliamentary answer revealed that the annual cost per member was £156,000, once the total bill of running the Lords was taken into account.

Useless bastard.

Meanwhile Silly Billy Hague

Has ruled out fresh concessions to the Liberal Democrats if they fail to secure victory in next month's referendum on voting reform for Westminster elections.

Silly Billy said:

"Yes, we all have strong feelings about it and I very much hope people will vote No, but at the end of it the coalition will be working very well together."

Lib Dem deputy leader Simon Hughes, however, insisted that Mr Clegg's attack had been justified, and he warned that they could now ask the Electoral Commission to investigate the No campaign's "untruths".

Trouble int mill?

Over in Austria

Wildlife authorities are hopping mad that efforts to save the local frog population are being hampered by Italian poachers.

Officials in southern Austrian province Carinthia said Tuesday that poachers are collecting frogs from the roadside buckets they have been guided into to save them from busy highways, and are then smuggling them home to Italian dinner tables.

Frogs' legs are a delicacy in some parts of Italy. Officials told Austrian state television Tuesday that the victims tend to be those with the meatiest thighs.

Frogs attempting to cross some Austrian highways are channeled by a series of fences into roadside buckets. Once a day, volunteers collect the buckets and carry the amphibians to the other side of the road and set them free.

But "the Italians strike before the frog pickers come," says Carinthian environmental official Bernhard Gutleb.

The delicacy can be costly. Officials warn that those caught with their hand in the bucket face fines up to euro3, 600 ($5,149).

Spawning bad feelings?

And all the way to Donegal

Four men on a mackerel fishing trip were "amazed" to see an early sighting of basking sharks within metres of their boat in Donegal Bay.

Local fisherman Brian Smith was returning to Killybegs harbour on Tuesday afternoon with his group when they noticed some unusual activity in the water.

Mr Smith told Sky News: "There were four of us out on the boat fishing in Donegal Bay, fishing for mackerel, when an 18ft (5.4m) Basking shark appeared near the boat.

"We saw the fins coming up first and it was splashing about the surface. It just swam near the boat, metres away from us.

"We pulled out the cameras and started taking photos and filming it. It was an amazing sight to be so close to such an amazing creature.

"We saw about 20 basking sharks that day. I have never seen so many at this time of year.

Need loads of chips for that lot…..

And finally:

Staying with the fishy theme

A 12ft long, yellow ribbonfish has sparked panic in Miaoli, Northwest Taiwan. The fish, which are normally found in deep waters, scared the locals who believed its appearance, and the unusual waves it produced in shallow waters, were the early signs of a tsunami.

Experts are of the opinion that the fish may have been forced out of its natural habitat by the aftershocks that followed Japan's devastating earthquake.

Wonder if it tastes nice with dog?

That’s it: I’m orf to protect my bumble bee nest.

And today’s thought: "Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." - Peter Kaye

Angus

Saturday snippets

Cowell MOOOves X factor, Brits go bald later, Pirate day, English examples and A banned Jedi


My internet connection has gone down and I am piggy backing on another one, so this may be all you get today, I apologise to anyone who doesn’t get a reply or comment in advance.

Saturday again, still no post from the smoke and the politicians are sniping at each other from behind the newspapers, wouldn’t it be better for us and them if they actually worked together, after all it was them who managed to get us into this mess by the wrong actions or inaction.

I have just received my new TV license, and the cost of all these wonderful, interesting, educational progs-£142.50 per year, cheap at quarter of the price.


First up:

Moooving the Factor

Simon Cowell. That thoroughly nice chap who is only thinking of us wants to persuade ITV to move the X factor to a different time slot so that it doesn’t clash with my other favourite prog Strictly Come Dancing.

He is doing this purely for our benefit so that we don’t miss anything.

The fact that viewer numbers and ratings will take a hit, and therefore his chance to make more money has nothing to do with his “decision”.

And said “I'll try to persuade ITV to move it (The X Factor) back or forward, whatever they need to do," he said. "I'm prepared to do everything to give the public what they want."

I am a member of the public, and what I want is to see the demise of expensive, crowd fodder programmes that are not entertainment but time fillers.

Can’t we have some “proper” TV please, things like dramas, or comedy or sit-coms, anything
but these “ look at me, I can’t dance or sing” bollocks.

Hair today gone the day after tomorrow

You can now take a test HERE to find out when you will go bald, sadly for some of us it is too late, but the good news is that we in Britain go bald later than those on the continent, and for those of us in the Home Counties the news is even better.

“Whilst continental men become fully bald at an average age of 52, British men keep their follicles filled until 58. Vain south east based office workers are most worried about losing their locks whilst lawyers, presumably because of their wig-wearing habits, are least concerned by baldness, the Europe-wide survey of more than 1.5 million men found.”

Test creator Dr Adolf Klenk said: “The age at which UK men lose their hair completely may be 58 but they start thinning and losing their hair much younger than that.”

Bit of a hairy subject that.

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Sunday is “speak like a pirate day”, and this is not some local thing but an international event.

Scarves, eye patches, parrots and strange accents will be part of a special event being held in the Whitsundays today, complete with plank walking and pirate jokes.

The event began eight years ago as a bit of fun, but is now celebrated around the world.

Organiser of the Airlie Beach event, Captain Dan van Blarcom, says all pirates will be on their best behaviour.

"We're the polite pirates and we always use our manners and say please and thank you and ensure our visitors always come first," he said.

"That's pretty important in a town like Airlie Beach, which is a tourist destination and we want people to come here and have a good time.

"We're going to have some pirate hip hop music and other pirate songs and we'll be there waving our hooks in the air and having a jolly good time talking about booty."

He says those who don't enjoy themselves may have to walk the plank.

I love the “pirate hip hop quote” must be all those peg legs. The picture is my idea of a pirate.

What is in a word

The English language is pretty complicated, but here are some of the best words that can be found in the melting pot of the linguistic world.

Fornale, to spend one’s money before it has been earned;

Cagg, a solemn vow or resolution not to get drunk for a certain time;

Petrichor, the pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell.

Stridewallop, is a Yorkshire term for a tall and awkward woman,

Shot clog is an Elizabethan term for a drinking companion only tolerated because he pays for the round.

Deipnosophist is a Jacobean word for a skillful dinner conversationalist.

Parnel, a priest’s mistress,

Applesquire, the male servant of a prostitute,

Screever, a writer of begging letters.

Slapsauce, a person who enjoys eating fine food

Chafferer, the salesman who enjoys talking while making a sale.

Blatteroon, a person who will not stop talking,

Wallydrag, a worthless, slovenly person,

So I suppose you could have:

A fornale was visited by a Chafferer, who failed to make a sale and went to dinner at the pub where he met a Slapsauce, and was joined by a Blatteroon and a Deipnosophist, at the bar were a Shot clog and a bunch of people including an Applesquire, who was looking for customers and a Parnel who wasn’t.

There was a man who had made a Cagg, and was being pestered by a Screever, and a Wallydrag.
As the fornale left the pun after his meal he was greeted by Petrichor and staggered home,

Ain’t English wonderful.

And finally:

Every little helps

Unless you are a Jedi in Tesco’s, Daniel Jones, 23, who created the International Church of Jediism, claims he was “victimised over his beliefs” by staff at the supermarket in Bangor, North Wales.

The religion, inspired by the sci-fi films, is practised by 500,000 around the world and requires believers to cover their heads in public places. But Mr Jones, from Holyhead, said that staff ejected him from the store over security fears when he refused to remove his hood.

Mr Jones, also known by his Jedi name Morda Hehol, told The Sun: "I told them it was a requirement of my religion but they just sniggered and ordered me to leave.

"I walked past a Muslim lady in a veil. Surely the same rules should apply to everyone."
The handbook of the UK Jedi Church, founded by the Star Wars fan last year, states: "Jedis must wear a hood up in any public place of a large audience."

Daniel added: "It was discrimination. I was really upset. Nobody should be treated like that.”
"I'll advise worshippers to boycott Tesco if it happens again. They will feel the Force."

A Tesco spokesman said: "Jedi are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side.
"If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they’ll miss lots of special offers."

Words fail me.

Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico

ODDS AND SODS

Well, pardon my language: The Register; Ofcom has ruled that the 30 January culinary swearfest Ramsay’s Great British Nightmare - a two-parter which kicked off at 9pm - was in breach of the broadcasting code after racking up an impressive "115 instances of the most offensive language" in its first 40 minutes

The watchdog received 51 complaints about the programme - which included choice vocab including “f**ck”, “f**king” and “f**ked” peppered with the occasional "shit".

One outraged viewer wrote: “The excessive use of bad language by Gordon Ramsay was just unreal and the abusive way in which he continually used it to speak to others, the use of the 'F' word once or twice maybe but it's continued used in almost every sentence was totally unnecessary. I know it was after 9.00 but there are limits…”

Ofcom has ruled that the 30 January culinary swearfest Ramsay’s Great British Nightmare - a two-parter which kicked off at 9pm - was in breach of the broadcasting code after racking up an impressive "115 instances of the most offensive language" in its first 40 minutes

Channel 4 stressed that the abuseathon had been preceded by a “strong language from the start and throughout” warning which "provides adult viewers with sufficient information to inform their viewing choice and to decide whether to permit any children to watch".

It further defended that Ramsay’s Great British Nightmare boasted "unique characteristics which justified the high level of strong language that was included" and that "the use of strong language in this programme accorded with the likely expectations of the audience, was editorially justified, and did not offend the overwhelming majority of viewers."

In its ruling (pdf), Ofcom notes Channel 4's pre-show warning and accepts that "the vast majority of the audience comes to the programme with certain expectations."

Gordon Ramsay also offered his apologies via his spokesman, who said: "Great British Nightmare followed Gordon trying to save two restaurants in the most difficult predicaments. These extreme challenges gave rise to many heated exchanges in the double-length programme.

"But Gordon had no intention of causing offence and is sorry if Channel 4's scheduling of the programme upset some viewers."

No Gordon, it was you that offended, not the scheduling, after all we are talking about, food here, I started to watch the series but found the the endless swearing detracted from the purpose of the programe which is to turn round failing restaurants.

It isn’t a platform for bad behavior or showing us how limited your vocabulary is you #####. ###### ############.




Are you old enough to buy a teaspoon?

The Register According to the background info, the lady shopper in question was told by an Asda assistant that she'd have to prove her age "because someone had murdered someone with a teaspoon, and therefore ID was now required".

Suitably outraged by this "complete and utter bollocks", another Nanny Knows Best reader's wife decided to put Tesco to the test - provocatively turning up at the check-out with two latte teaspoons (long-handled, for the record).

Sure enough, "an assistant was required & she was asked for proof of ID".

In fact, Tesco has been battling cutlery-wielding hoodies for some time. Back in 2007, we reported that the supermarket monolith had taken steps to prevent violent sink estate gangs from laying into each other with knives and forks.

Oh scary! A yobbo with a teaspoon.



Asda pops up again here, last year Mum Gail Jordan's amusing plan to celebrate her son's 21st birthday by presenting him with a cake sporting a snap of him as a bare-cheeked bouncing baby came off the rails when Asda staff declared the image "pornographic", the Telegraph reports.

Jordan, 41, went to the supermarket chain's branch in Liscard, Wirral to avail herself of a £9.97 offer to ice a cake with a photo on top. She selected a pic of son David as a five-month-old nipper, lying on his front, but staff insisted his arse be protected by a "strategically-placed star".

Care worker Jordan recounted: "They said it could be anyone's child so it could be deemed pornographic. But I was asking to have it printed on a 21st birthday cake, so surely it was pretty obvious that it was my son. It's ridiculous - I understand they have rules, but there ought to be a place for common sense as well."

Jordan gamely concluded: "In the end they would only do it with a star over his bottom, which to be honest made the whole thing even more hilarious."

An Asda spokesman offered: "We have a policy, as do many other retailers, of no nudity, whatever the age of the subject.

In this case we offered a number of alternatives including enlarging and cropping the photo, increasing the border size or applying a strategically placed star to save his blushes."

Well done Asda, how to make an arse of yourselves over an arse.




Motorist given £100 fine after car was clamped on own driveway Patrick Sepulveda, 45, was told the Peugeot 307 estate was sticking out six inches onto the pavement.
Father-of-two Mr Sepulveda and his wife Clair, 35, offered to move the car fully onto their driveway in Portishead, near Bristol.
But the 'over-zealous' clampers said it was too late and hit them with a £100 release fee.
Mr Sepulveda, who lost his job as an architectural technician last year, said he took the car off the road because he could not afford to run two vehicles.
Although he filled in the necessary forms, the DVLA sent its official round to check, and spotted the "illegal" parking.
He notified the DVLA and completed the SORN (Statutory Off Road Notification) certificate as proof the car was untaxed and off the public highway.
But on Monday, the DVLA sent contractors NSL Services to check the vehicle had been parked legally and was out of use.
They spotted the car's offside wheels were protruding by six inches onto the pavement at the end of couple's driveway - and clamped it minutes later.
Mr Sepulveda said: "We have been careful with our budget since I lost my job and this was the last thing we needed and the whole incident has caused a lot of distress and upset."
A DVLA spokesman said: "Upon receipt of any complaint, DVLA will ask our contractor, NSL Services Group, to investigate.
"If a vehicle with a SORN notice is partially parked upon the public highway, enforcement action may be taken.
"DVLA is not prepared to comment on an individual case with a third party, but I can confirm that we were able to resolve the situation with the keeper."
The DVLA has since agreed to waive the fine.


And finally: A metal baggage container was sucked into an engine of a Boeing 747 as it was leaving a terminal gate at Los Angeles International Airport.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/?bcpid=4464161001&bctid=22844264001#

Well, I suppose it stops them having to put it in the hold,
“Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.” Margaret Mitchell

Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS the Other Side