King Cobra killer: Easter present: Big Squid: No nuts Numpty: Tesco get done: and a Flying motorcycle.

Sunny, calm and warm at the Castle this morn, extremely late, overslept and had to go to Tesco for stale bread, gruel and His Majesty’s food.

The study is still full of HPs, Acers, Dells and the occasional Mac because I decided to fettle the garden yesterday, the lawns are lawned, the hedges have been hedged, the borders have been bordered and the shrubs have been vandalised.

His Maj decided to help out, and spent the day chasing anything that moved-or didn’t between stealing my chair, and I popped inside to don my stockings and suspenders to fell a twenty foot California lilac that died of athlete’s foot or some other fungal infection a couple of years ago, there is just the four foot stump to sort out, but I ran out of steam, and the Butler doesn’t “do” gardening.

I see that the owner of a Nottinghamshire snake sanctuary has died after apparently being bitten by one of his own animals.

Luke Yeomans, 47, was due to open the King Cobra Sanctuary, in Eastwood, to the public this weekend.

Police confirmed they were called to a property in Brookhill Leys Road, near Eastwood, where Mr Yeomans had suffered a suspected heart attack.

Officers confirmed the snake had been contained and there was no danger to the public.

In an interview with the BBC earlier this year, Mr Yeomans said he had started the sanctuary in 2008, in reaction to the depletion of the snake's natural habitat in the forests of south-east Asia and India.

At the age of 16 he opened his first pet shop, specialising in snakes and other reptiles and two years on he started to breed his own.

"People do say that I am mad but I say it's better than people saying you're bad. I think everything I am doing is good," he said.

Except for the last thing......

Over in the Island of big heads

A drug has been discovered which scientists believe can reverse the effects of premature ageing and could extend human life by more than a decade.

Rapamycin, which has been nicknamed the “forever young” drug, was created from a chemical found in the soil on Easter Island, one of the most remote places on Earth and 2,000 miles off the coast of Chile.

It was used in experiments on children suffering from Hutchinson-Gilford Progeria Syndrome (HGPS), a rare genetic condition in which ageing is hyper-accelerated and sufferers die of “old age” at around 12 years.

Rapamycin is already used to suppress the immune system in organ transplants.

Dimitri Krainc, one of the study's co-authors, said: “Even a small activation of this 'debris removal' system would extend the health and life-span of our cells and organs.” 

Long way to go to get it though..

Up to the land of the brave and the home of the free

Several people were fishing over the weekend just off Florida's Atlantic coast when they pulled up a 23-foot-long squid.

They say they were fishing about 12 miles offshore from Port Salerno when they saw the squid, WPTV reported.

"We pulled up... thought it was something to fish on, a pallet or something like that. We looked at it, all three of us were like 'holy mackerel,' " Robert Benz told WPTV.

The squid’s body is about 11 feet long, and its tentacles were so long, it barely fit into the 23-foot-long boat.

“Nobody believes a fisherman," said Benz. "It didn't seem it had been dead long, the tentacles were still moving and it was sticking to you when we got it in.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission took the squid to a facility in St. Petersburg for a necropsy.

 Isn’t that illegal?

Dahn in Devon

A knife-wielding robber's attempt to rob an off-license shop in Devon is thwarted by the owner's dog.

Eve Watson, 55, and her six-year-old Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Cane, took on the intruder after he jumped over the counter with a Stanley knife demanding money from the till.

The shop owner fought back by grabbing a nearby craft knife, telling the robber, "so you like to play with knives, do you".

Mrs Watson then grappled with the robber and managed to pull down his hood, exposing his face to the CCTV cameras in the shop.

Her dog then joined in, biting the man between his legs before the intruder fled the shop empty-handed.

Apart from his nuts which he put in his pocket.

 Still in the land of the broke and the home of anyone who wants to come here

A married couple conned a major UK supermarket out of more than £1,000 ($1,600) by using the same grocery coupon 63 times.

Nigel and Penny Ward's austerity measures saw them use Tesco Clubcard savings coupons valued at £17.50 at seven stores across the eastern English county of Cambridgeshire, the Cambridge News reported Wednesday.

The Wards, who live in the small village of Fordham, near Newmarket, pleaded guilty to a charge of fraud by false representation from Dec.15, 2010 to June 8, 2011.

The couple, who are both in their 40's, carried out the fraud by using self-service counters to scan the coupon, then leaving a plain piece of paper instead of the used coupon, Cambridge Magistrates' Court was told.

Mary Cleaver, who represented the couple, said, "It was not a sophisticated piece of criminal activity. There was no effort to cover their tracks and they even kept all their receipts."

The case was adjourned until next month for sentencing.

 Oh dear-what a shame.......still every little helps.

And finally: 

Star Wars cometh

Chris Malloy tests out his flying motorbike, which he built entirely in his own garage.

The “Hoverbike” can soar to 10,000ft and fly at 100mph. The inventor and helicopter pilot, 32, from Sydney, spent two-and-half years on the project.

Think I’ll stick to the Honda.

 That’s it: I’m orf to castrate a water boatman.

 And today’s thought: "A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting."

 Angus

Up prince Charles: The Tax man cometh-again: Stork staring: Dogs’ dinner cancelled: Ruble rumble: DVLA takes the plate: and the Chihuahua Sheepdog.

Good old Brit weather has returned at the Castle this morn, sunny, calm, warmish and dry, the Spanish hot, wet, rumbling and flashing stuff has buggered orf and I may be able to do some fettling in the garden later.

The study is overflowing with broken HPs, Acers, Dells and the occasional Mac that need a good seeing to so I have the choice-do I spend the day up the spiral staircase battling with Microsoft or do I spend the day in the garden-decisions, decisions....

 There is a bit of a theme word in today’s post, see if you can guess what it is.

 I see that the cost of keeping the never to be king Charlie has gorn up from £1.66m to £1.96m over the last twelve months.

This included a 40 per cent rise in Government grants to run Charles and Camilla's London residence and to fund the couple's overseas travels.

As well as receiving increased state support, Charles also saw his private income from the 133,700-acre Duchy of Cornwall – given to him as heir to the throne and which also includes a lucrative investment portfolio – rise by 4 per cent to nearly £17.8m. 

Must be the price of hay for the horse faced old mare he keeps.

And HMRC has managed to bollix it up again.

More than one million people will face demands to pay hundreds of pounds in unpaid tax.

Many of those affected have recently retired and started drawing a pension for the first time. They may have to repay more than £1,000.

Another 3.5million could get rebates from HM Revenue and Customs because of the Pay As You Earn (PAYE) system.

The repayments are the result of an annual examination of PAYE records, which has disclosed that almost five million people paid the wrong amount of tax in 2010-11.  

Bet they don’t go on strike tomorrow...

Over to the land of.....whatever

Troops ordered to scare away storks from an airport have been banned from using their guns and told to stare at the birds instead.

Soldiers were brought in over fears the colony of 25 storks would disrupt the Airpower 2011 air show in Zeltweg, Austria, this weekend.

Organisers had tried to lure them away with bait, by creating better feeding grounds further away and even putting up plastic storks to make it seem more attractive elsewhere - but without success.

Experts, who fear a stork could bring down a plane if it was sucked into an engine, confirmed that soldiers had been told not to shoot the birds but to stare at them instead. 

Scary bollocks.

 East a lot

A South Korean dog meat festival has been cancelled following growls of protest from animal rights activists, one of the would-be organisers said Tuesday.

The Korea Dog Farmers' Association had scheduled for Friday a festival aimed at promoting traditional dog meat consumption, said Ann Yong-Geun, an adviser to the association.

"We couldn't possibly go on with the plan due to endless phone calls of complaint... now there are few willing to rent us a place for the event," Ann, a professor of nutrition at Chung Cheong University, told AFP.

The association had said the festival, to be held in a traditional open-air market in the city of Seongnam just south of Seoul, would showcase various canine delicacies including barbecued dog, sausages and steamed paws.

The event at the market, well known for selling dogs for meat, would also have featured products such as cosmetics and spirits with canine ingredients. 

Not the Dog’s bollocks then.....

Up to the land of not as much as there used to be

A Russian civil servant was caught trying to eat a 35,000 Ruble bribe to stop it being seized as evidence.

Anton Gritsay, 38, head of the Emergencies Ministry in Zelenograd, was tipped off that he was about to be arrested and locked himself into a toilet.

Police burst in and arrested him, but not before he had swallowed the money, the equivalent of about £800.

But he failed to escape justice after determined anti-corruption officers took him to the local hospital.

Once there, surgeons recovered seven of the notes from his stomach that were enough to see him taken to court.

Gritsay has pleaded guilty to accepting a bribe and was released on bail, and has been fired from his job. 

He bollixed that up-should have flushed it.

Dahn in Welsh Wales

A driver bought the car registration plate “BO11 LUX” from the DVLA – but they have now ordered him to remove it.

Alan Clarke, 49, paid £399 for the plate via the Government agency’s website and put it on his Range Rover. But six weeks later he got a letter from the DVLA demanding its removal – as it was “causing offence”.

The company director has been told he could face a fine of up to £1,000. But Alan, from Chesterfield, said: “I’m not backing down. It’s my plate and I’m not taking it off. They said it was causing offence and I had to remove it, and they are threatening to criminalise me.

The DVLA said: “We try to identify combinations that may cause offence. When potentially offensive plates slip through the net, steps are taken to withdraw the registration number.

“This plate has been withdrawn; therefore it is an offence for the driver to still display it. He would receive a refund.”

I hope they don’t see my plate.

 And finally:

Rescue dog Nancy's potential for herding flocks was discovered after she was adopted by a sheep dog trainer.

Ali Taylor, who trains rescued border collies, said the tiny dog picked up herding straight away.

"I started in a very controlled environment but it quickly became evident that Nancy has natural ability and loves herding sheep," she said.  

Load of old flocking bollocks...

 That’s it: I’m orf to change pi for Tau.

 And today’s thought: Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

  Angus 

Where’s you bin: Fit to drop: Flying Numpty: First contact: and Cut price petrol.

‘Tis much cooler at the Castle this morn, with the feel of imminent sky water, the last dark thing was more than a tad hot and damp, the liquid metal scale reached 94f up the spiral staircase and his majesty decided that the best place was in the bin.

 And talking of bins

It seems that Dahn in Brighton, and up in Manchester up to 40 families a time are being forced to share enormous communal bins as councils across the country remove wheelie bins to save money.

Around 30,000 families in Brighton have been told to share 700 of the “dumpster” receptacles more commonly seen in Spain, Italy and Germany which can store 3,200 litres of rubbish.

A similar scheme in Manchester has seen 15,000 homes using 1,100-litre dumpsters with each one shared by up to 20 families.

In Bristol 3,000 households are involved in a trial operation with up to a dozen families sharing a bin.

Bob Neill, the Local Government Minister, said: “Communal bins are the brainchild of Labour bureaucrats who targeted hard-working households and bullied councils into cutting back weekly rubbish collections while doubling council tax.

“We are reining in the bin police and stopping this kind of bin blight. The Government is working with local councils to increase the frequency and quality of rubbish collections.”  

Sounds like a rubbish idea.

And according to “experts”

The average 50-something now leads a fitter and more active life than they did in their 20s.

Older adults are reaping the benefits of better diets, more exercise and increased free time to focus on their health, suggests the poll of 1,500 over 50s.

The survey found that they were taking more exercise and eating more healthy food than they were when they were younger.

Free of the pressures of working life and raising a family, they could also dedicate more time to exercise.

The poll, commissioned by the insurer Engage Mutual, found that seven in 10 people over 50 were doing more exercise than in their youth.

A similar number now pay more attention to their diet, eating much more fruit and vegetables and many less take-aways than they did in decades past.

"Current predictions for life expectancy state that men age 65 could expect to live another 17 years and women at 65 could expect to live another 20 years.”

Load of old bollocks, this is all part of the conspiracy to make us retire at seventy five so that “they” don’t have to pay the pensions we are entitled to.

Over to the land of anti car laws

A teenage car thief lost control of a stolen vehicle - and sailed 300ft through the air off a mountainside onto the roof of a house.

The 16-year-old spent hours speeding around winding mountain roads in Walemsee, Switzerland, before taking one bend too quickly.

"He spun the car through a safety barrier and it flew 30 metres through the air before it landed on a roof garden below," said one police officer.

"But the momentum kept the car going and it bounced off that roof and fell another 70 metres until it finally came to rest on a house lower down the slope."

Home-owner Thorsten Baumgartner, 48, said: "There was an enormous bang and the whole property shook.

"I thought at first it was an earthquake or that part of the hillside had collapsed on my property. I didn't expect to see a car on the roof when I went outside.

The Numpty driver was unhurt in the crash and was caught trying to stagger away down the road suffering from shock. 

I know parking is expensive but that is taking it a bit too far....

 East a bit more

Russian scientists expect humanity to encounter alien civilizations within the next two decades, a top Russian astronomer predicted on Monday.

“The genesis of life is as inevitable as the formation of atoms... Life exists on other planets and we will find it within 20 years,” Andrei Finkelstein, director of the Russian Academy of Sciences’ Applied Astronomy Institute, was quoted by the Interfax news agency as saying.

Speaking at an international forum dedicated to the search for extraterrestrial life, Finkelstein said 10 percent of the known planets circling suns in the galaxy resemble Earth.

If water can be found there, then so can life, he said, adding that aliens would most likely resemble humans with two arms, two legs and a head. 

They are already here-take a look at son of a B....aronet George (reptilian alien in disguise) Osborne.

 And finally:

German Robin bastards

Thieves broke into a petrol station at night and sold all the fuel at half-price.

Drivers queued down the street to take advantage of the “special offer”, which lasted just a few hours before the pumps ran dry.

Staff believe that the gang made several thousand Euros from the scam in Fulda, Germany.

Police have so far spoken to 69 drivers who filled up but have warned the rest to come forward.

A spokesman said: “We will find them, so they had better settle their debt before they get an unexpected visit.”

Fuelling the recession?

 That’s it: I’m orf to buy an acoustic cloak.

 And today’s thought: We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

Angus

“Bond of faith”: A Cloud of Data: Billy the Kid: Surfing Shark: Hair today....: and Post it bandits.

We’re havin a heatwave at the Castle this morn, ‘tis is a nice cool 78f dahnstairs and a balmy 87f up the spiral staircase, just got back from my gruel, stale bread and pussy food run to Tesco-usual debacle, the garden still needs fettling, His Maj is trying to find somewhere less hot to settle down for a kip, and the phone calls have started from desperate users wanting their fix.

The “good” news is that after one and a bit days of “summer” the weather will take its usual turn and “they” are threatening Thunderstorms and Tornados later this Monday.

According to the BMA

Trust between doctors and patients risks being shattered by new government proposals.

Opening the Annual Representative Meeting in Cardiff, the association's chairman, Dr Hamish Meldrum, will speak of the threat to the bond of faith between doctors and patients as an Ipsos MORI poll shows they are the most trusted profession, with an 88 per cent rating.

Government ministers and politicians are at the bottom of the poll, with 17 per cent and 14 per cent believing they will tell the truth. "In times of crisis, trust is more important than ever. This trust will be the key to getting through the challenges we face over the next few years. And yet there is a danger that this trust could be put at risk by some of the Government's plans," said Dr Meldrum. 

Ha bloody ha...

And staying with our poor old, ailing NHS

The knobs at the DOH have come up with a cunning plan to use the “cloud” to store all our medical records.

The new NHS pilot project, where records are kept on the internet rather than on computers in individual hospitals or GP surgeries, could pave the way for all patient data to be stored online rather than on paper. Patients using the system would have control over who is permitted to access their data and could use it to invite specialist doctors to view their results.

Hackers recently claimed to have obtained NHS administrator passwords. The two-year pilot project, developed by Flexiant, a Scottish-based computer firm, and Edinburgh Napier University, will initially use simulated records. 

They don’t learn do they?

Meanwhile across the wet thingy to the left

The only known authenticated portrait of the notorious outlaw Billy the Kid has sold for $2.3m (£1.4m) at auction in Denver, in the US state of Colorado.

The tintype - an early form of photo using metal plates - is believed to have been taken in 1879 or 1880 in Fort Sumner, New Mexico.

It depicts the gunfighter in rumpled clothes and a hat, gazing at the camera and holding a Winchester rifle.

The tintype was bought by private collector William Koch. 

If that what it costs to develop film nowadays I think I will stick to my digital camera.

Down a fair bit

A surfer in Florida got the shock of his life when a shark jumped over the back of his surfboard.

The spinner shark was caught on video by an Orlando Sentinel photographer Jacob Langston who shooting surfers at New Smyrna Beach.

As the 1.2 metre shark makes the leap, the surfer whips his head around so see what had caught his eye.

Langston told the Orlando Sentinel he didn't know until later, when back at his job editing the video, that he had filmed a bizarre scene on his afternoon at the ocean. 

Surfin USA...

 Dahn Unda

A southern Queensland farmer has discovered a new way of deterring foxes from killing his lambs.

Organic farmer Jonathon Arkins has been collecting human hair from local salons and tying it to fence posts around his Greenmount property, south of Toowoomba.

He says the technique seems to be working so far.

"I just get old women's stockings," he said.

 Bet the old women are annoyed.

 And finally:

 Back in broken bollixed up Blighty

Britain’s world-famous red post-boxes are being stolen by criminals who flog them abroad for ­thousands of pounds.

The metal boxes are being ripped from lampposts and telegraph poles while others have been chiselled out of brick walls. In some cases, entire pillar boxes have been uprooted from the ground. Police believe cars or trucks have been used to drag them from their foundations.

Many antique boxes are being sold over the internet as souvenirs to collectors abroad, especially in the US. Royal Mail has been hit by a wave of thefts, especially in rural areas, in recent months.

Crooks stole 10 boxes from three villages near Hythe, Kent, in one recent incident. Other thefts have been reported in Sussex, Lincolnshire and Anglesey, North Wales. Many end up on eBay where dozens were being advertised last week.

Post-box prices have boomed in recent years after Royal Mail stopped ­auctioning off old stock in 2003.Experts say boxes dating back to Queen Victoria’s reign and bearing the VR mark can fetch up to £5,000 in America. George V boxes dating back to 1910 are worth around £1,000 while more modern ones can go for hundreds of pounds.

Bit like the price of a stamp......

That’s it: I’m orf to for a flap run.

And today’s thought: In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.

 Angus  

Kidderminster woodentops: $6.25 million per headlight: Crap warden: and how to die in the 16th century.

Dull, warm, damp and dingy at the Castle this morn, I am waiting for the “heatwave” to arrive.....still waiting........

I tried very hard to find anything of interest in the political arena-nothing, just the usual old bollocks, so a bit of an update on His Majesty.

He is perfecting his “pouncing” skills.

And he likes motorbike racing.

Over in one of the “Stans”

A Russian woman died of a heart attack at her own funeral, after waking up to find praying mourners filing past her coffin.

Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, 49, had been declared dead after suffering chest pains and collapsing at home in Kazan, capital of Tatarstan.

Doctors had failed to spot she was actually very much alive, and Mrs Mukhametzyanov unsurprisingly began screaming when she regained consciousness to find she was being prematurely dispatched to the hereafter.

Her husband, 51-year-old Fagili Mukhametzyanov, said: "Her eyes fluttered and we immediately rushed her back to the hospital but she only lived for another 12 minutes in intensive care before she died again, this time for good."

If at first you don’t succeed.......

And ‘radical socialist’ Mark Serwotka is allegedly having £26,159 paid into his own pension pot every year – £3,309 more than the £22,850 average wage of members of the Public and Commercial Services Union (PCS) which he represents.

According to projections by financial experts, it means that the former Trotskyist and Arthur Scargill fan will be able to retire at the age of 65 on an annual pension of £63,554.22.

Still....we are all in this together.....

Up in the place where the Brown sauce comes from

An internal police inquiry has been started after a police car crashed into a shop in Worcestershire.

The patrol car crashed into Vision and Audio Services Ltd in Kidderminster, after colliding with a Corsa in Sutton Road at about 1420 BST on Friday.

One man was in the silver Corsa and two West Mercia Police officers were in the patrol car. No-one was hurt.

The road was temporarily closed between the junctions with Talbot Street and Poplar Road, but has since reopened.

Or you could look at it this way

A police vehicle was involved in a crash with another car that ended up crashing into a shop window.

The Vauxhall Astra police car was responding to an incident when it was in collision with a Vauxhall Corsa in Sutton Road, Kidderminster, at 2.20pm yesterday.

Witnesses said the Corsa ploughed through a small wall before hitting the front of the Vision and Audio Services shop at the junction of Sutton Road and Greatfield Road.

West Mercia Police said Sutton Road was closed for several hours after the accident. Neither of the two officers in the police car or the man driving the Corsa was hurt. The force said there would be an internal investigation into the crash.

Contact details - 138 Sutton Road
Kidderminster, Worcestershire DY11 6QR
01562 822 567 –

They will probably have quite a lot of bargains....

Somewhere on the globe

Victoria Secret's Fantasy Bra: No lady could ask for a more ostentatious lift than Victoria Secret's $12.5 million brassiere encrusted with 2,900 diamonds, rubies and other precious stones. Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks are among the supermodels that’ve been pictured in this item since it first went on sale in 1996.

"It's pretty heavy," supermodel Gisele Bundchen said as she joked with reporters after modelling the luxury item last month. "I mean, it was, like, almost heavier than me."

Other very expensive underwear is available from all good stores....

Dahn in Welsh Wales

A bogus council warden has made a small fortune by fining people for taking their dogs for a walk on the beach.

The fake official – who was wearing a uniform and driving a large black car – charged owners £75 on-the-spot fines for exercising their pets without a lead.

Last night council bosses in Conwy, North Wales, said they had no dog wardens ­operating at Llanddulas and Pensarn beaches, where the incidents happened.

Environment manager Nick Jones told dog owners: “Do not hand over any money to anybody without first asking to see an ­identification card.”

Police have appealed for information.

But they have no leads......

And finally:

Ten ways to die during the Tudor reign.

1.      Bears

2.      Archery

3.      Handgun

4.      Self inflicted

5.      Bread

6.      Nut crackers

7.      Mad cows

8.      Maypole

9.      Bathing

And

10.  Taking a dump.

Click on the header link to find out.


That’s it: I’m orf for a snack.

And today’s thought: In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.

Angus 

Tesco Bankers: Heatwave: Bi Plane: Hitler’s goblets: Chattanooga Chew, chew: and a smelly old fart.

Cold, damp and dismal at the Castle this morn, his Majesty has discovered the pleasure of climbing up my legs while I am standing in the kitchen, the garden still needs fettling, the study is empty of all things broken and I am knackered.

And I have received the quote for the Honda insurance-it has gone up fifty quid although it is a lower insurance group than the Rover-robbing bastards....

I see that Columbo has shuffled orf this mortal coil at the age of 83, another part of my youth gorn....

And the Tesco Wankers Bank which has suffered technical problems with online accounts says it will refund anyone who has incurred costs as a result.

The bank, which said its website was now "fully operational", will deal with claims on a case-by-case basis.

It said that it would refund customers who could prove they had lost out financially as a result of the fault.

Problems originally surfaced after the bank transferred savings and loans products in-house at the weekend.

Customers' frustrations were increased when many found they could not get through on the telephone to the busy customer service call centre. 

Sounds about right...

Apparently a heatwave will hit south and east England this weekend, with soaring temperatures putting elderly and vulnerable people at risk, forecasters have warned.

The Met Office has issued a heat-health alert for the East Midlands, east of England and the South East, where temperatures of 86F (30C) are likely on Sunday and Monday and could peak at 90F (32C) on Monday.

The high temperatures could be dangerous, particularly for the very old, the very young and those with chronic conditions, forecasters said.  

Yeah right-see the first paragraph.

Left a fair number of non Euro units

Days before a college football player was arrested on a US Airways flight at San Francisco airport following a dispute over his saggy pants, the airline allowed another man wearing skimpy women's panties and mid-thigh stockings to fly, according to a passenger and airline spokeswoman.

Jill Tarlow, a passenger on a June 9 flight from Fort Lauderdale, Fla., to Phoenix, took a photo of the scantily clad man, which she provided to the San Francisco Chronicle. The newspaper published the photo in its Wednesday edition.

The man flew six days before University of New Mexico football player DeShon Marman was arrested on a US Airways flight at San Francisco airport following allegations he refused to pull up his pants.

US Airways spokeswoman Valerie Wunder defended the airline's decision to let the man fly, saying employees acted correctly.
"We don't have a dress code policy," Wunder said. "Obviously, if their private parts are exposed, that's not appropriate...So if they're not exposing their private parts, they're allowed to fly."

 Nice.....

Back in Blighty

Four goblets believed to have been owned by Adolf Hitler and used at his Berlin bunker have sold at auction for £3,000.

The engraved receptacles, edged in gold and etched with the Nazi eagle, a swastika and the initials AH, were expected to sell for around £8,000.

But the Specialist International Militaria sale in Towcester, Northants, saw them snapped up for just £3,000 by a buyer in Sweden.

Auctioneer Jonathan Humbert, of JPHumbert Auctioneers, said the price was still reasonable for an item with no written proof of its background.

They have got to be fake; Hitler only had one goblet, didn’t he?

Back across the wide wet thing

A Tennessee man's body is being exhumed to remove dentures that belong to another man after a mix-up at a Chattanooga hospital.

Parkridge Medical Centre spokeswoman Alison Counts told The Chattanooga Times Free Press that the body of 76-year-old Kenneth Ray Manis will be exhumed after his family learned the dentures belonged to an intensive care patient who shared the same hospital room.

Court records obtained by the newspaper showed Manis died on June 12. The dentures were with personal items placed inside his coffin. Counts said Manis' family asked that the dentures be removed.

The hospital has apologized and will be paying for new dentures, as well as reburial costs and attorney's fees. The hospital declined to identify the patient who lost his dentures.

That sucks!

 And finally:

 Many, many things to the right

A father of seven girls has not washed in 37 years because a priest told him it would guarantee a son.

Farmer Kailash Singh, 65, whose dreadlocks are six feet long, has not touched water, save to rinse his mouth and hands, since 1974.

Instead, he takes a “fire bath” every night – smoking marijuana, praying to the Hindu god Lord Shiva and dancing around a bonfire.

The farmer, from Chatav, India, where temperatures regularly reach 47C, said: “Children tease me and my wife doesn’t like it, but she must bear all the hardships I have to bear.

“I have no son, so I will never wash again.”

Not really working is it......

 That’s it: I’m orf to buy some super sand for the moat.

And today’s thought: If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

 Angus

Training the enemy?: Speedy cat burglar: Nicked from the Nickers: Pussy sheepdog: and a Hug machine.

Nice start at the Castle this morn-sunny, calm, warmish and dry, if it stays like this I may be able to do some fettling in the garden later.

The study is overflowing with fixable whatnots, and I am sooo looking forward to Windows 8....not.

I see that the Olympic free for all ticket site crashed after a whole sixty seconds, no surprise there then, and The Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition is closing down the Central Office of Information (COI) with the loss of up to 400 jobs. Even less of a surprise.

Meanwhile, after sacking trainee RAF pilots, the knobs at the MOD have decided to “actively seek” foreign personnel to pay for “surplus” training places left by British personnel dismissed earlier this year, a minister has admitted.

The Daily Telegraph revealed in February that scores of RAF pilots in training are being sacked to save money.

A defence minister has now admitted that because the trainees were dismissed at such short notice, the staff and equipment for their training are still in service and must be funded.

To help meet those costs, foreign pilots will be trained. Trainee pilots from countries including Algeria and Kenya are understood to be taking up the vacant training places at RAF bases.

 Yet another Piss Poor Policy.

Over to the land of cheese with holes in

A Swiss cat called Speedy has stolen so much loot that its owner had to post leaflets throughout the northern town of Wiesendangen saying "Help, our cat steals!".

Margrit Geiger said her cat began bringing home shuttlecocks to impress her teenage son three years ago. 

Klepto cat....

Left quite a lot, and up a bit

An investigation is underway in Saanich, B.C., after a coin drop box collecting money for children with cancer was stolen from a police station.

Police said an officer noticed the coin box, which was raising money as part of Cops for Cancer, was missing from the main counter of the station Monday morning.

"An officer became suspicious as to the whereabouts of the coin drop box and began to investigate. At first, the officer thought that the drop box may have been taken to be emptied as it had a significant amount of change in it," police said.

When the box couldn't be located, the officer viewed video of the front desk and discovered the coin box had gone missing around 10 a.m. June 16.

Police said the video showed a woman at the counter at that time "acting in a suspicious manner." The woman initially walked up to the counter, left, then returned. She then allegedly covered the box with her large purse and "stole the box right out of the police station," the release said.

The suspect is known to police.

Makes you feel safe...doesn’t it?

Back in Blighty

A Border Collie has been branded Britain's worst sheep dog after developing a fear of his flock.

Despite his pedigree, Ci proves instinct alone is not enough to overcome a bad case of ovinophobia.

The four-year-old developed his fear of sheep when owner Jane Lippington placed him in their field as a puppy.

Mrs Lippington, 54, from at Langridge, near Bath in Somerset, said Ci instinctively wants to work the sheep, but is too scared.

"If they run away from him, he will go after them and act like a proper sheepdog, but the moment they turn and face him he runs away," she said.

"Sheep can be quite aggressive if they think they have the upper hand - they stamp their feet and gang up in numbers and act like an army.

 Baamy.

 And finally:

 East to the land of tsunami’s and glow in the dark dust

Japanese inventors have pushed the frontiers of technology with the ultimate companion for lonely singles - a wired torso-shaped device that you can hug and that hugs you back.

The Sense-Roid looks like a tailor's mannequin with silicon skin and is packed with pressure sensors.

It is connected to a jacket worn by the human user that replicates the embrace with the help of air compressors.

The illusion of a mutual hug with the half-humanoid is enhanced by artificial muscles and vibrating devices in the tactile jacket, according to the inventors from the University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo. 

That’ll help with the clean up.

 That’s it: I’m orf to have a wedgie in space 

And today’s thought: Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

 Angus