Le Cleggie: Coalition Candidates: TaTa housing: The Terrafugia: Bee Hiving badly: Strip for Putin: Tar Heel procrastination: and How to....

Chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, breezy, cold and dark, the butler has had to jump orf the Cycle-Gen to light some oil lamps, so I am running on batteries for a while.

Boring weekend, I was going to go to the local brats’ borstal for the “annual fete” but I saw that they were going to have a sponge throwing stall which as we all know is highly dangerous so I decided to play safe.

The study is empty of all things electronic, no desperate phone calls from users demanding a fix, I blame the silly season, they are all getting ready to fly orf to sunnier climes, still a few days of rest would be nice. 

Bit late today, just got back from the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run at Tesco-they are “improving” the car park by closing half of it orf for resurfacing......

His Maj had a very busy Sunday and had a chill out.....

Unlike Le Cleggie it seems

“Our” globe-trotting unelected Deputy PM is apparently in French France lecturing our armed forces partner on “poor fiscal management, too much debt in the financial sector and high house prices based on cheap credit.”

Mr Clegg said: "The causes of the current troubles are not exclusive to Eurozone states, and nor are the consequences.

He called for domestic action on fiscal policy and banking along with structural reform, but also stressed that European countries would need to work together if they are to overcome the problems.

 

Yeah ...right.

 And while the NI debacle takes up all the media

Planned changes to electoral law which pave the way for Coalition candidates to stand at the next election have been quietly slipped out by ministers.

Nick Clegg's Whitehall department included the move in a wider package of measures in a statement to MPs last week.

Until now, candidates who are nominated by two parties have not been allowed to use a single emblem on ballot papers.

However, Mark Harper, a junior Cabinet Office minister, said the government was now correcting this "oversight."

It would allow candidates to stand for election under a joint Conservative-Liberal Democrat banner for the first time.

 

I think that is known as “stacking the deck” in the electoral casino.

Meanwhile: over in the land of sunny weather and hot food

India's Tata group says it will launch cheap housing that can be built within a week for 500 Euros, according to Indian media reports.

A spokesman for Tata, which in 2009 launched the world's cheapest car, the Nano, said the pre-fabricated houses would help the rural poor buy a home.

Prototypes are already being tested with a view to launch by next year, the PTI news agency said.

Indian authorities say millions of homes are needed in rural areas.

The company is in discussion with state governments, the agency said.

"It is [a] quick house built in seven days if you have a patch of land. Basic model of 20 sq metres, with flat roof will cost around 500 Euros (32,000 rupees; £440)," Sumitesh Das, Tata Steel's head of global research is quoted as saying by the Press Trust of India news agency.

The company is also creating plans for slightly larger and more expensive houses, with facilities such as solar panels, according to the Times of India newspaper.

 So we can cut down on aid then?

 Left to the big land of lots of weather and greasy food

The US designed Terrafugia Transition flying car costs around £150,000 – £85,000 cheaper than a Rolls Royce Phantom.

The Terrafugia works as a conventional car, with a perfectly respectable fuel consumption of 35mpg and a top speed of 65mph.

Once its wings are unfolded – with a span of 28 feet and six inches – it can fly at 115mph and consumes five gallons of fuel an hour.

According to Terrafugia, there is interest from British consumers who face a price tag of around £150,000.

The two-seater Terrafugia Transition will require approval from the European Aviation Safety Agency before it can be used in Britain.

Anyone using it will need both a driving and pilots licence, said a spokesman for the Civil Aviation Authority.

Spiffing, but do I want a car that could fall out of the sky or if I had the money would I plump for a luxury, quiet, comfortable motor that is built like a brick outhouse?

Tough one that.

 Over in the land of many. many. many people and wooden stick like eating utensils.

They have had a Bee wearing contest.

 

Clink the link above and see the “honeys”.

Allegedly an online campaign has been launched in Russia

Urging young women to support Prime Minister Vladimir Putin in a presidential vote by taking off their clothes, a lawmaker’s site showed on Sunday.

Called “Putin’s Army”, it features a video of a blonde student called Diana who struts along Moscow’s streets in high heels and a black suit before scrawling “I will tear my clothes off for Putin” on a white top in red lipstick and starting to undo her clothes.

Inviting girls to strip off for Putin for the chance of winning an iPad2, the campaign comes ahead of the March 2012 presidential vote.  

Strange that... now if it was called Berlusconi’s army it would make sense.

 Back in the land of what not on the left

The races for mayor and three commission seats are wide open in the small North Carolina town of Tar Heel - because no one bothered to run.

No one has registered as a candidate for the fall elections in the Bladen County town. The story was first reported by WECT-TV the ballots will be printed with blank spaces for voters to write in their choices.

Current Mayor Ricky Martin says he's not surprised no one wants the jobs. Even in a town of 117, its hard work with little compensation. And Martin says state budget cuts mean the next elected officials might have to raise taxes.

Cynthia Shaw, the director of the county's board of elections, says it's the first time she has seen an entire town without a candidate.

What they need is “The Big Society”.

 And finally:

A totally sexist and non PC item. 

How to de-wax a surfboard with Eli

A site which I hate and am only watching every video for Elfandsafety reasons......

That’s it: I’m orf to buy a magic carpet.

And today’s thought: A hair on the head-is worth two on the brush.

Angus

It’s Mine!: Fleeing millionaires: Stony Stratford: Creation competition: Marilyn’s in Chicago: Dog fish: and Calling all drinkers.

Dull, damp and dismal at the Castle this morn, the big shiny yellow thing came out at about six last pm, I let his Maj out the first thing he did was to climb to the top of the flowering cherry tree, ten minutes later I rescued him using the ladder, and after a bit of a rest he did it again...

I see that Royal Naval divers will make a second attempt later to blow up a live World War II mine which was dredged up off the Essex coast.

The 2,000lb (900kg) German parachute mine was found on Friday eight miles off Clacton.

It was due to be detonated on Saturday but became detached from its markers in 90ft (27m) of water.

Severe weather and poor visibility hampered divers trying to move it. They are expected to try again at 0700 BST.

 

Its Essex- let it float into shore.....

 And according to the Independent

More than half of the UK's millionaires have fled or are thinking of fleeing the country's economic "storm clouds", according to a new study.  

Taxation, perceived better living standards abroad and the weather mean that only 44 per cent say they are certain to remain here. But the survey of more than 500 UK-based millionaires, carried out for investment firm Skandia, found that only 2 per cent were thinking of moving to a tax haven. Preferred destinations included the US and Spain.  

Jo Rimmer of Skandia said: "It seems to indicate that the UK's wealthiest will seriously consider moving to sunnier climes in either economic or meteorological terms."

 

Wonder if that includes the Piss Poor Policy Millionaires Club Coalition?

Up in the posh bit of the almost midlands

About 200 people have attended a protest against plans to ban smoking in open places in a Buckinghamshire town, according to organisers.

Councillor Paul Bartlett has proposed a new by-law to outlaw smoking in any public place in Stony Stratford.

Among those who spoke against the ban was UKIP leader Nigel Farage, who said it could stop people coming to the town, affecting local businesses.

Town councillors will be voting on the proposal on Tuesday.

If the plan is approved, smokers who light up in public in Stony Stratford could face on-the-spot fines.

Mr Bartlett has said the town, near Milton Keynes, is "blighted by cigarette butts". 

I’d join them but I can’t afford the go juice to get there, and as for Niggle Garage-I hope he isn't going by plane....

 Left to a bit of the land of the poor and the home of the automobile

Tech nerds gathered in Brooklyn recently for a creation competition that yielded such inventions as a human hamster wheel and a wedgie-powered bicycle for Red Bull's third Creation Challenge.

They worked with welders and grinders for 72 hours straight to build contraptions out of stuff they found in a junk yard.

This year's mission was to build something, anything, which can transport a person.

Teams competed to build an invention that would be judged by others just like them.

Whoever wins will walk away with $10,000 and a pretty big title.

"It was really impressive to see what these crews came up with. They were some of the most creative people in the country, and we brought them all into one place, and the inventions that they came up with were all brilliant, but all incredibly, incredibly, diverse," he said.

The winner of the competition was team 1.21 Jigawatts, with a giant, human-sized hamster wheel that leaves behind messages on the ground as it moves.

"I mean the idea behind this event is to really inspire people, and especially young people, that instead of going out and buying things, that they want or need, that they can make these things," the Red Bull Creation Project Manager, Jeff Naumoff said. 

After they go out and buy the things they need to make them I presume…..

 Dahn a bit and left a smidge

A Marilyn Monroe statue has been unveiled in Chicago and visitors will hardly be able to miss it - as its 26ft tall.

The huge sculpture in a square on Michigan Avenue features the late actress in her famous pose from The Seven Year Itch, standing above a subway grate with her skirt billowing up.

It proved an immediate hit with sightseers and local office workers, who gathered to have their photograph taken with Monroe.

Perhaps predictably, the most popular snap involved male fans gazing up the sex symbol's skirt at her lacy underwear.

It took a team of people to decorate the sculpture, with one worker given the job of going up in a cherry picker to spray-paint her knickers on. 

If you want to see Marilyn’s knickers hurry up because it will only be there until spring 2012.

 Dahn Unda

Dog bites shark.

 And finally: 

Back in the land of the damp and the home of huge fuel bills

Villagers angered by the ­loss of their only pub have turned a disused phone box into a tiny new local – thought to be the smallest in the world.

They clubbed together to open The Dog and Bone after buying the red call box for £1 from BT, adding a wooden “bar” where pints can be pulled from a barrel.

And the 3ft by 3ft venue in Shepreth, Cambridgeshire – where regulars are ­backing the Sunday Mirror’s Save Our Pubs campaign – could end up in the record books.

The Dog and Bone is less than half the size of The Nutshell in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, which is in the Guinness World Records book as Britain’s smallest pub at 16.5ft by 6.5ft.

Alistair Janson, who ran The Plough pub in the village, which has now closed, said: ‘We believe this to be the smallest pub in the world and are looking to seek recognition from the Guinness adjudicators.

“Anyone who thinks that a pub isn’t viable in this village should think again.

“We just want to demonstrate how ­thoroughly we need a pub in the village by using one of the only facilities here. And while we may be small, we are proud to be getting behind your campaign.”

The Plough closed down after being turned into a restaurant and ­villagers are now campaigning to stop it being converted into ­housing. They want ­planners to rule that the ­building, popular with pilots based nearby during the Second World War, must only be used as a pub.

A shocking six pubs are shutting each day in the UK. The Sunday Mirror is calling on PM David Cameron to honour his election promise that his ­Government would be “pub-friendly” and take urgent action to protect them.

Don’t care-don’t drink and anyway even if I did I would have to stand in the garden to have a smoke....

That’s it: I’m orf to build a beehive fence to keep the Elephants out of the Castle grounds- am I allowed to Bee-Hive like that? 

And today’s thought: "It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day." - Lady Victoria Hervey.

 Angus

Golden goodbyes: U-Turn Cam and NI: Sinking Sat nav: Internet amnesia: Owling: and Castle for sale.

Back to “normal” summer meteorology at the Castle this morn, sky water all over the place, calm and coolish, I did a bit of fettling in the garden yesterday where the dead lilac used to be (see pic), and his Maj climbed the flowering cherry tree, climbed out on a branch about ten feet up and promptly fell orf, luckily he landed on something soft-his head. 

I see that the RAF has bought 14 really big aircraft at the cost of £10.5 billion

The Voyager has a 60-metre (197ft) wingspan and is nearly 60 metres long.

It can carry almost 300 troops more than 6,000 miles and will replace the long-serving VC-10 and Tristar.

The RAF has bought 14 of the aircraft under a 27-year private finance initiative contract worth £10.5 billion with the Air Tanker consortium.

The service will provide training and maintenance, as well as new purpose-built buildings at RAF Brize Norton in Oxfordshire, the RAF's air transport hub. 

Let’s hope they still have the pilots to fly them...

 And, according to the Torygraph

Senior NHS managers are being handed 'golden goodbye' redundancy packages topping £100,000 as the service struggles to cut in half the amount it spends on bureaucracy.

Some managers at primary care trusts (PCTs) are being given payouts of more than a year's salary, resulting in the six-figure handouts.

At NHS Leeds, one was handed £117,485. At NHS Blackburn with Darwen Care Plus Trust, two have been made redundant since April 2010 on average payouts of £117,284.

And in a third trust, NHS Greenwich in London, 12 employees were given redundancy packages worth on average £83,848.

The figures come from Freedom of Information requests made by the Health Services Journal to all of England's PCTs, of which just over a third (57) responded.

Under some contracts employees are eligible for up to two years' salary, if they have worked for the NHS for long enough.

That means chief executives could feasibly take home more than £250,000 if made redundant. The most senior managers could pocket just under £200,000.

A more recently introduced programme is more stringent. Under the Mutually Agreed Resignation Scheme (MARS), employees can opt for redundancy and claim up to a year's salary, if they have 24 years' service.

Among the 57 authorities that responded, 641 employees have received redundancy packages under MARS and 776 outside the scheme since April 2010. The average payout under MARS was £18,196 while for all others it was £19,552.  

So there won’t be any savings for a year-or two-or.....

It seems that U-Turn Cam and the knobs from News International are a bit cosy

The scale of private links between David Cameron and News International was exposed for the first time last night, with the Prime Minister shown to have met Rupert Murdoch's executives on no fewer than 26 occasions in just over a year since he entered Downing Street.

Rebekah Brooks, who resigned yesterday as chief executive of Mr Murdoch's Wapping titles over the escalating scandal, is the only person Mr Cameron has invited twice to Chequers, a privilege not extended even to the most senior members of his Cabinet. James Murdoch, News Corp's chairman in Europe and the man responsible for pushing through the BSkyB bid was a guest at the Prime Minister's official country residence eight months ago. And the former NOTW editor Andy Coulson – who was arrested this week in connection with police corruption and phone hacking – was invited by Mr Cameron to spend a private weekend at Chequers as recently as March

U-Turn Cam and Ms Brooks, who are neighbours in West Oxfordshire, met over Christmas – including a get-together on Boxing Day – just days after Vince Cable was relieved of responsibility for deciding the fate of News Corp's BSkyB bid. Downing Street has always refused to discuss what they talked about, but officials insist that the subject of the BSkyB takeover was never raised.

Methinks the smell of Pisci is in the air.

Right a bit to the land of long bent blowy things

An Austrian woman looking for a short cut to a bathing lake got that sinking feeling when her satnav took her straight into the water.

Fire fighters had to be called in to pull out driver Petra Lang's van with a mobile crane at the Grundlsee Lake, near Bad Aussee, before it could pollute the water.

Ms Lang, 27, from Salzburg, managed to get out without help before the van sank.

"We managed to get the van out before the lake water was polluted. The driver was very embarrassed - drivers need to be more careful when using their satnavs and use a bit of common sense."

Luckily nobody was hurt in the accident as the lake was full with swimmers cooling off from the soaring summer temperatures in Austria. The van is a complete write off.

"She insisted that the Sat nav system was to blame - she said she typed in that she wanted to go to the lake - but got closer than she intended," said one rescuer.

Ah, the old “it wasn’t me it was the Sat nav” defence...

Apparently widespread use of internet search engines and databases such as Google and IMDb.com to find information is making people lose their memory, scientists claim.

Researchers found increasing number of users relied on their computers as a form of “external memory” as frequent use of online information libraries "wired" human brains.

The study, examining the so-called "Google effect", found people had poor recall of knowledge if they knew where answers to questions were easily found.

The scientists from Columbia University, in New York, found people were increasingly bypassing discussions with friends to use the internet as their main source of information.

Experts blamed the findings, published online in this week in the journal Science, on popular search engines such as Google, Bing, Yahoo and databases such as Wikipedia and IMDb.com, the movie information site founded in Britain.

 

Yeah right-now what was I saying?

There is a new “sport” emerging across the globe

'Owling' is the new online picture craze that is turning heads across the world.

Owling involves perching on your haunches and staring into the middle distance, just like everyone’s favourite bird of prey.

Hundreds of people in the US, Australia and now Britain have posted pictures of themselves taking part. Extra kudos is earned by those who do it in unusual, and often fairly precarious, places.

The craze already has two Facebook groups dedicated to it, with more than 1,000 Owling mad members.

It follows the sudden rise in planking – in which people took pictures of themselves lying face-down in odd locations. 

Owling Planks?

 And finally: 

A nice little property investment

A Castle has gone on sale, for £750,000.

Thorne Island Fort off the coast of Pembrokeshire offers great views and fantastic privacy —: as it can only be reached by boat.

It comes with a master bedroom in the tower, kitchen, living room, games and dining room and even a parade ground.

The listed castle, built in 1854 to fend off French invasions, is just under a mile away from the mainland.

It used to be a hotel but has been empty for a decade.

No thanks, already got one, anyway it isn’t really a Castle-no towers....

 That’s it: I’m orf to get the latest iPhone app. 

And today’s thought: As you journey through life take a minute every now & then to give a thought for the other fellow . . . they could be plotting something. 

Angus

Revolting Osborne: R.I.P. C of E: No news from Auntie: Diving Mum: Old Au pairs: and pluck a Duck Shark.

Not a bad start to the day at the Castle this morn, sunnyish, warmish, calmish and dryish, the study is empty of anything resembling a computer, I managed to do some serious vandalism to a very large “Mock Orange” shrub, his Maj is in the garden and I have just returned from the stale bread, gruel and cat food run down Tesco.
 

I see that George, son of a B.....aronet (and reptilian alien in disguise) Osborne is facing a revolt over his pledge that no family should get more in benefits than the average wage.

A Liberal Democrat minister has become the first member of the Government to openly question Mr Osborne’s plan to cap benefits at £26,000 for workless families.

Sarah Teather, the Families Minister, said she was “extremely worried” about the cap which will apply to all households where no-one works from 2013. Her concerns are known to be privately shared by a number of Conservative ministers as well. 

Should be interesting...

And according to Anglican leaders The Church of England will cease to exist in 20 years as the current generation of elderly worshippers dies.

The average age of its members is now 61 and by 2020 a “crisis” of “natural wastage” will lead to their numbers falling “through the floor”; the Church’s national assembly was told. 

Built in obsolescence?

It seems that Journalists at the BBC have begun a 24-hour strike in a row over compulsory redundancies.

Members of the National Union of Journalists (NUJ) voted in favour of industrial action last month because a number of World Service journalists are facing compulsory redundancy.

The NUJ has warned that the strike will cause "widespread disruption" to radio and TV programmes.

Can’t say I’ve noticed....

Across to the land of the high rise and the home of the fallen

A mother and her 2-year-old child were hospitalized after the toddler fell out of a fifth floor window in southwest Seattle Thursday afternoon.

The accident happened at an apartment complex in the 10600 block of 14th Avenue SW.

Commander Dick Malo with the North Highline Fire Department said a 2-year-old boy was on a couch next to a window on the fifth floor when he fell out of the window. The boy fell onto the fourth-floor balcony below, hitting his head.

The mother, seeing her child fall out the window, jumped out of the window to save him. She also fell onto the fourth-floor balcony and broke her ankle.

Malo said both mother and child were conscious and alert. The child suffered a bruise on his head. Both were transported to Harborview Medical Centre for evaluation.  

Where’s Spiderman when you need him?

Right more than a smidge

Germans are ditching student child minders for senior citizen carers, with the country's army of fit and healthy pensioners preferred to gap-year students.

Child care recruitment agencies are saying that families now prefer them to young women.

"Family living in Australia with two children aged four and two seeks German replacement granny for three to six months," is one recent advert.

"Older women aged between 50 and 70 are often better than young ones because they have more life experience," says Michaela Hansen, 50.

He runs an agency Hamburg called Granny Au Pairs.

Sociologist Martha Berger, in Munich, said: "This use of older people is a trend we have seen in Germany for some time and I am not surprised families are seeing single senior women as a valuable resource for them.

"BMW has opened a factory designed for the ageing worker. There are openings for 400,000 skilled workers in Germany. Neither apprenticeships nor immigration can plug these gaps so people who felt the world had stopped turning for them are finding a new value that is good for their mental and physical wellbeing."

 Just what you want, a motor built by some drooling old fart......

And finally:
 

Dahn Unda

Swimmers have been unable to venture into Evandale Lake, off the Gold Coast of Australia, since a member of the public reported seeing a fin moving through the water last weekend.

Viewers were watching live on the Today programme in Oz as resident fishing expert Paul Burt reeled in the much-feared monster.

Burt was sat in wait on the saltwater expanse for the predator, which he was hoping to catch live on TV.

But unfortunately for him, he caught a rather more anti-climatic creature - a duck - and he desperately tried to get the cameras to stop rolling as he realised the catch wasn't the 'lake monster' after all.

'I got a bird! I got a bird!' Burt said. I'd go to another shot.'

 So who’s got the orange sauce.....

 That’s it: I’m orf to probe Vesta 

And today’s thought: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Angus

English Baccalaureate-sort of: Litigious Victorians: Pastafarian: Smelly socks: No Brats: Tired out: The Lynx effect: and the Crumpet man’s thinking.

‘Tis surprisingly clementish at the Castle this morn, sunny, calm and almost tepid, the study is now a quarter full of non working thingies, the garden is still in need of fettling, his Maj has been de-wormed and de-fleaed  and is not a happy bunny, and I couldn’t be arsed to take a snap of the new bollards. 

I see that more than four out of 10 secondary schools have axed key subjects from the curriculum as a result of the Government's new English Baccalaureate, a conference was told yesterday. Drama, arts, religious education and information technology have all suffered severe cutbacks with teachers in these areas being made redundant.

In addition, teenagers are being told to switch GCSE subjects in mid-year to help their schools do well in exam-league tables. In most cases, it has been to slot in a languages GCSE – one of five subject areas demanded by the new qualification. Youngsters have even been enrolled on "twilight sessions" after school to try to ensure a top grade pass in the new subject area. 

Since when have drama, arts, and religious education been “key” subjects?

Allegedly Aviva, formerly known as Norwich Union, has discovered a raft of claims from the 1860s to the early 1900s, which indicate that consumers were paid out considerable sums of money for small and sometimes comic accidents.

A merchant from Glasgow was paid £42 in 1895, the equivalent of £2,575 in today's money, after he was injured while jumping out of bed to catch his wife who had fainted. Meanwhile a Lancashire grocer received £15 in 1878, or £724 in today's money, after he slipped "while playing Blind Man’s Buff".

The trawl through the archives, ahead of an exhibition in Norwich, found a vicar from Shropshire who fell while playing a game of Leap Frog and a gentleman from Mold in Wales who missed a dog while trying to kick it and struck a sofa instead, injuring his big toe.

A Bank Clerk slipped on orange peel £156 paid in 1900 (modern equivalent: £8,901), an innkeeper from Handsworth, Birmingham, took poisonous potion in mistake for a sleeping medicine – £1000 paid in 1878 (modern equivalent: £48,310), A travelling salesman from Belfast hit his head on a pole while watching an accident from the top of a tram – £7 paid in 1904 (modern equivalent: £401), A shipbuilder from Great Yarmouth swallowed a fishbone – £1000 paid in 1900 (modern equivalent: £57,000) and An artist from Swansea blown down by gale of wind – £30 paid in 1886 (modern equivalent: £1,796). 

It seems that “times, they aren’t a changin”....

Over in the land of Austrians

Niko Alm has won the right to be photographed wearing a pasta strainer for his driving licence on grounds of religious freedom.

A self-styled "pastafarian", Mr Alm said he belonged to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which lampooned religion. "Today I was able to get my new driving licence, and in it you can clearly see that I'm wearing a colander on my head to demonstrate my allegiance to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster," Mr Alm wrote in his blog.

"My headwear has now been recognised by the Republic of Austria."

The spaghetti church was founded in 2005 in opposition to pressure on the Kansas school board in the United States to teach the theory of intelligent design in biology class as an alternative to evolution, and since then it has engaged in a light-hearted campaign against religion. 

Austrian Baccalaureate?

 Scientists are working on a weapon to fight malaria mosquitoes

Smelly socks-attract four times as many of the deadly mozzies as the scent of a human body.

By spraying a similar reek into special traps outside homes, they stopped the bugs going inside and biting people.

Dr Fredros Okumu, who is developing the traps, said: “The disease has claimed so many lives, including those of people close to me, and my hope is this will be part of the solution.”

Bed nets and indoor spraying have already cut malaria cases. But scientists have not been able to combat mozzies outdoors.

Experts at the Ifakara Health Institute in Tanzania found smelly socks were the most effective bait.

I wondered why there were no mozzies at the Castle......

Across to the big country on the left

A US restaurant has sparked controversy by banning children under the age of six - because their volume can't be controlled.

"This is not a kid-oriented place," said Mike Vuick, owner of McDain's, a restaurant and driving range in Monroeville, Pennsylvania.

The restaurant sent an email to regular customers to inform them of the policy change, reports the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

"We feel McDain's is not a place for young children. Their volume can't be controlled and many, many times they have disturbed other customers," it said.

On its website, McDain's advertises itself as a place for "cocktails and fine casual dining" and calls its atmosphere "upscale, quiet and casual".

"Nothing wrong with babies," added Mr Vuick, "but the fact is you can't control their volume.

 I find that a plastic bag over the head works quite well......

Up a bit

After 15 long years of collecting Canadian Tire money, a local man can cash in his collection to buy the lawnmower he began saving for as a teen.

At 14 years old, Brian McPherson - now 29 - received his first 10 cents of Canadian Tire money after buying a hockey stick. That 10 cents was the start of McPherson's road to becoming a "Canadian Tire thousand-aire."

"I thought it'd be a good idea to save up all the money and buy what at that time was the most expensive thing in the store, which was a riding lawnmower," said McPherson.

Over the course of 15 years, McPherson saved $1,053 in Canadian Tire money through purchasing gas, repair items and "pretty much anything you can buy at Canadian Tire," to reach his goal.

McPherson plans to claim his prize - a rider lawnmower - Wednesday night.

 Great! Err, what is “Canadian Tire”

Right a fair distance to the land empty of Plumbers

A rejected wild lynx kitten has found an unlikely new mum - a spaniel.

Kraska the nine-year-old spaniel took six-month-old Mis under her paw when owners at a wildlife park in Kadzidlowo, Poland, found the lynx had been rejected by its mum.

"Kraska had just given birth to a litter of puppies so we decided to introduce Mis to the litter," said owner of the wildlife park, Marta Kowalska, 35.

"And she immediately accepted her as one of her own. Now they are inseparable and love playing with each other. Mis is a true part of Kraska's family," she said. 

Bless.....

 And finally:

Just for James

Pippa Middleton's world famous bum has been immortalised in crumpets.

The giant mosaic, along with another of Pippa's face, took more than 24 hours to complete using 15,000 crumpets and more than 100 jars of spreads, including butter, jam and Marmite and was commissioned to celebrate Beefeater Grill's new breakfast menu.

One of those love it or hate it things....

That’s it: I’m orf to track the space shuttle. 

And today’s thought: Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. 

Angus

Fuelling the bills: Cracker of a Numpty: The Ginger gang: A Grave error: Elephants in the bus stop: Imaginary car: and Negligent discharges.

Still not sure about the weather at the Castle this 13^th morn of the month, cloudy and coldish with a hint of dingy and a whimsy of windy.

The study is three quarters full of broken difference machines, the garden is in dire need of fettling, his Maj requires cat litter and the bollards have finally been replaced (photo to follow)

I see that Chris Huhne has a cunning plan to meet the triple challenge of climate change, high bills for householders, and security of energy supply.

The ultra-free market which has been in place since electricity was privatised 20 years ago is to be drastically modified, with the Government offering generating companies long-term contracts at fixed prices to produce low-carbon power – that is, from renewable sources and nuclear installations. Going back to what is effectively a form of central planning is seen as essential to attract the huge investment – £110bn over the next decade – which is needed to replace Britain's ageing energy infrastructure.

The programme will put about £160 per year on to the average energy bill by 2030, the Energy and Climate Change Secretary, Chris Huhne, said yesterday, compared to £200 without the changes.

 That makes me feel really well orf...

 Over in Colorado

Sean Ogden, a 19-year-old Durango resident, was seriously injured Monday after putting fireworks in a coffee grinder and attempting to mix them to create a larger firework. The mixture exploded.

Ogden was taken to Mercy Regional Medical centre and later flown to the University of Colorado for more extensive treatment.

The Durango Herald reports the fireworks were purchased in or near Cortez, Colorado. Ogden likely decided the fireworks were too small and followed directions on the internet to dismantle and reassemble them into something larger.

Durango Fire & Rescue Authority's fire Marshal, Tom Kaufman, speculated that friction from the coffee grinder ignited the mixture. The ensuing explosion shook houses a quarter-mile away.

 You can even learn how to be a Numpty on the web.

 Dahn Unda

Known locally as the "Ginger-Haired Gang," a group of 18 teenagers with orange-dyed hair is running rampant in the Townsville suburb of Garbutt -- making residents fearful for their lives and their property, the Townsville Bulletin reported Wednesday.

A resident, who did not wish to be named for fear of retribution, told the Queensland newspaper the group had been destroying public property and threatening locals for months.

"They're 14 to 17-year-old boys and girls, it's not like kids on school holidays being stupid, these ones are organized," the resident said.

"They've kicked fences in, ripped palings out and used them as weapons; they've been throwing rocks at ... old people.

How many points do you get for that?

 Back over to the States

Two sisters are suing a cemetery for $25 million (£16m) after discovering their mother was not buried in the grave they have been visiting for 20 years.

Evelyn and Hortense Edwards reportedly bought the plot at Rosehill Cemetery in Linden, New Jersey, for their mother Beatrice Williams, who died in 1990.

But after they complained about the state of her grave, they were told last summer she was buried elsewhere in the graveyard. According to the cemetery's website she is one of seven Beatrice Williams buried in the cemetery.

$25 million for six feet of ground is a bit high.....

 In the country of engineering and strudel

Two runaway circus elephants in Germany surprised passersby and police by showing up at a bus stop during a brief bid for freedom, officials in Hanover said on Tuesday.

Dunia, a 40-year-old Indian elephant, and her counterpart Daela, a 25-year-old African elephant, were apprehended by police near the western city of Hanover over the weekend nonchalantly munching on tree leaves and looking for all the world as if they were waiting for the bus.

The pair had escaped from their enclosure at a nearby travelling circus and walked some 50 metres (165 feet) to the stop, police said. 

Just as well, they probably didn’t have the right change anyway....

 Somewhere in the world

The Monster Mk1 is an imaginary car made from bad parts of other models to represent worst performing cars on the road.

It's a concept car inspired by some of the best-known names in motoring.

But this is a banger that would break down every month and cost £2,050 in annual repairs.

It boasts an MG TF engine, sits on the suspension of a BMW M3, has the electrics of the Renault Megane, the gearbox of a Land Rover Freelander and the braking ability of the Audi A8.

Seat’s Alhambra provides the air-conditioning while heating and cooling systems are from the Spanish car maker’s Toledo. Steering is courtesy of the Volvo C70.

The nightmare model was created by Warranty Direct, which merged under-performing cars based on the average cost of repairs, frequency of breakdowns, age and mileage.

Duncan McClure Fisher, the company’s managing director, said the Monster Mk1 represents the worst-performing cars on the road.

He added: ‘the wide range included in our blend highlights how mostly reliable cars can be dragged down by one problem part.’

Why am I smiling?-I’ve got a Honda...... 

And finally: 

Back over to the left

Labelling himself as "a pretty unprofessional outdoors show host", Derek "Tex" Grebner lived up to that reputation after he shot himself in the leg during a video demo.

Grebner uploaded the clip to YouTube, as a warning that "negligent discharges happen."

In the video the keen guns-man explained that the accident had happened after he had been practicing "how to draw and fire from defensive retention."

Fortunately, Grebner managed to stop the bleeding before the paramedics arrived.

Despite the incident, Grebner encouraged his viewers at the end of the video to join the National Rifle Association "to protect our rights." 

The right to bare arms?

 That’s it: I’m orf to have a chat with the Honda 

And today’s thought: Why is abbreviation such a long word?

 Angus