Bugger the EU: Spooky spots: Toasted Squirrel: Feeling blue in Juzcar: AFDB: and Weather its fashion-or not.

Warmish, wettish and wondrous-ish at the Castle this morn, not a whimsy of white crusty stuff, the study is still holding on to has-been hoo hahs, and his Maj has discovered the delights of playing chase.

Been down to Tesco to stock up on stale bread, gruel and pussy food, only one checkout out of thirty open, the place looks like Japan after a tsunami, and they have moved everything around so that they can fill up every little bit of space with Crimbo stuff.

Apparently Kim Jong Il isn’t any more, mainly because he has kicked the bucket, but at least he won’t be ronery any more....

And Microsoft is going to introduce automatic updates for IE users from January next year.

Nice...

 

Allegedly those Blighty lovers over the channel

Want us to stump up a £25,000,000,000 “contribution” to help bail out the Eurozone.

European finance ministers will aim to agree a new €200 billion (£167.7 billion) loan to the International Monetary Fund as part of a deal to save the single currency.

Three quarters of the money is expected to come from eurozone members, but Britain will also be asked to provide funds.

Figures suggest European Union officials expect British taxpayers to be the second largest contributor. Our beloved unelected Prime Monster has repeatedly promised not to provide any extra funding for the IMF for the specific purpose of saving the euro and Britain is already liable for £12 billion of loans and guarantees to Ireland, Greece and Portugal.

Under IMF rules, Britain would underwrite a portion of loans to struggling countries, but only pay out if they defaulted. Only countries that are members of the IMF and contribute to its wealth can apply for loans.

The Prime Minister has argued that no country has ever lost money by lending to the IMF.

Until now.....

 

Up in the Smoke

Among the nooks and crannies is a garage used by MI5 in the 1970s to get its cars souped-up and kitted out with surveillance equipment.

But the garage near Clapham in south London was later uncovered by the Russians, prompting the Security Service to move their specialist mechanics to ‘somewhere in west London’.

The Londonist Top 10 Spy Sites also features a warren of tunnels underneath Kingsway, near Holborn.

Originally used as air raid shelters, they were taken over by the Inter Services Research Bureau, which served as a front for the research arm of MI6 – aka Q Branch in the James Bond novels.

A more exotic stop on the trail is Polish restaurant Café Daquise in South Kensington, where Russian Cold War spy Yevgeny Ivanov and lover Christine Keeler used to meet.

Keeler was also seeing defence minister John Profumo, an affair which led to his resignation amid fears national security had been compromised.

While some of the buildings in the guide, including MI6’s headquarters at Vauxhall Cross, are already well known to the public, others such as the spy school on Borough High Street would not attract a second glance.

The Millennium Hotel in Mayfair provides a more sinister twist, as it is where ex-Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko was poisoned in 2006.

Spooky...

Dahn in ‘Ampshire

A nutty squirrel was caught red-handed nicking toast by Paul Hawks who took the snap at his home in Fordingbridge, Hampshire.

It had already poked a hole through the middle of the bread and is seen gnawing away at the top of it.

It seemed oblivious to what was going on around it and that moment of sloppiness could have led to a grilling.

It allowed Mr Hawks to grab his camera and take the incriminating shot.

The villainous vermin made off with a piece of toast that was nearly the same size as it.

It was last seen hopping along the patios with the toasty treat in hand.

Looking for some marmalade....

Right a bit and down a lot

The inhabitants of a Spanish village which was painted entirely blue for the filming of box-office smash hit The Smurfs movie voted to keep their houses a vivid shade of azure, instead of returning to traditional white.

The 221 residents of Juzcar, in southern Spain, were promised by Sony Pictures six months ago that their homes would be returned to their former dazzling white state but found The Smurfs animated movie brought them an unexpected lifeline in tough economic times.

Juzcar became the world's first official Smurf Village and, whereas 300 tourists a year would pass through, an estimated 80,000 have been to see "Smurftown" in the past six months.

The village put it to a vote and the inhabitants overwhelmingly decided - 141 in favour to 33 against - that their homes should stay painted entirely in that unique hue, Smurf blue.

 Smurfin....

The latest fashion accessory for those of a “sensitive” nature

Is the AFDB or Aluminium Foil Deflector Beanie, which can apparently shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers.

It seems that AFDBs are inexpensive and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of an MP.

“This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable.”

Already have one, it didn’t work; I got struck by lightning.

And finally: Staying with the fashion thing.

The people that provide us with atmospheric forecasts

Has launched its own fashion range, complete with its famous weather symbols, it combines our national obsession with the weather and the government’s need to bring in more money:

In collaboration with an eco-clothing company, the national weather forecaster has developed a range of T-shirts emblazoned with its famous weather symbols.

Designs include their cloud symbol with a bolt of lightning signifying stormy weather, and a fashionable adaptation of the rainy weather symbol featuring a cloud with rain drops in the shape of cats and dogs.

Another design includes a cloud transformed into an ice cream cone with a lightning rod as the “flake” to “celebrate English summertime”.

The £20 T-shirts are made from organic cotton, manufactured in a wind powered factory on the Isle of Wight by the company Rapanui.

No wonder they keep getting it wrong-too busy pimping up clothes.

That’s it: I’m orf to Google a new motor.

And today’s thought:

Angus

Le invasion: Back to the 1950’s: Copper a load of this: Drink a Blowfish: Parker scooter: and a playing Panda .

More white crusty stuff than you could shake a stick at around the Castle this morn, I think the liquid metal in the gauge has emigrated to somewhere warm; the dungeon is bursting with fat teenagers for the furnace, the study is nicely nestled with non number crunchers and his Maj is still clinging to the radiator in the kitchen.

Up in the Smoke

From next June, for the first time, a French MP will take his or her seat as representative for a new constituency stretching from Dublin to Riga, with its heart in London. The winning candidate will have a seat in Paris's national assembly and will represent the interests of French nationals based in northern Europe, the largest proportion of whom live in the UK capital, where there are thought to be as many as 400,000.

One of the leading candidates for the northern Europe seat is Axelle Lemaire, the head of the Socialist Party in London. Ms Lemaire, 36, has lived in Britain for the past 10 years and currently works as a researcher in the House of Commons. Last night she said there was a strong bond between the countries that she hoped would survive the current diplomatic storm.

400,000; no wonder there are no frogs in London......

And:

U-Turn Cam’s bottle washer

Is to step up his warning against Tory plans for tax breaks for married couples - accusing ministers of seeking a return to the 1950s.

Tory backbenchers are pressing for an election pledge to introduce transferable tax allowances worth up to £150 a year to be implemented within this parliament.

What’s his name will use his "open society" speech to distance his party from the Tories on a range of social issues and will single out the marriage plans.

"We should not take a particular version of the family institution, such as the 1950s model of suit-wearing, bread-winning dad and apron wearing, home-making mother - and try and preserve it in aspic," he will tell the Demos think tank.

Ah the good old 1950’s-cheap food, cheap petrol, cheap gas and electricity, no traffic jams speed limits or seat belts, no mobile phones, smog, rickets, polio, outside toilets, bath in front of the coal fire; Bliss....

Right a smidge to the land of ABBA

Several blonde residents of a southern Swedish town were left with green hair after an unusual reaction between the water supply and the shower system of a number of new homes.

Authorities began investigating when a number of inhabitants of Anderslov complained that their hair suddenly turned green, Swedish newspaper Skanskan reported.

They tested the water supply in several homes to see if there was a high level of copper - known to turn hair green - but recorded only normal levels of the metal.

However, when hot water was left in the houses' water systems overnight, the amount of copper in it was found to increase to five or 10 times the normal amount.

Investigators concluded that the hot water must have peeled copper from the pipes and water heaters. The copper then was absorbed into the water, causing the shock hair colour change when residents showered.

The problem was found to be worst in new homes, where pipes lacked coatings.

Residents were told wash their hair in cold water or live in an older house to avoid the problem

Very helpful, but are they “real” blondes.

From the land of the fragile and the home of the boozed up

A former finance worker claims to have created the 'ultimate hangover cure' which obliterates the symptoms of excess in just 15 minutes.

Blowfish contains a whopping 1,000 milligrams of aspirin, 120 milligrams of caffeine and an antacid to soothe upset stomachs.

The magic formula isn't the work of scientists, but was discovered by Brenna Haysom, who stumbled across the recipe after trying hundreds of hangover cures.

Now Blowfish has become the first remedy specifically designed for hangovers to be recognised by America's Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

It hit the US market this month and could officially be launched in Britain as early as next year.

Glad I don’t drink....

Back in barmy Blighty

A granddad who is obsessed with Thunderbirds has built his own version of Lady Penelope's Rolls Royce, complete with a homemade doll in the back seat.

Brian Vann, a 74-year-old retired construction worker from Evesham, Worcestershire, pimped his 10mph scooter to emulate the car from his favourite television show of the 1960s.

Using cardboard and tin foil, Vann carefully crafted the model around his scooter, painting the wood and even using a Barbie doll to create his own version of the Rolls Royce emblem on the front.

The idea for the transformation came after Mr Vann's wife passed away in 2010, and he decided to design it to compete in a cancer charity race.

Now to get around town, Mr Vann cruises in his Thunderbirds-inspired 'Royce' with a model of his Lady Penelope in the back seat.

'I have always loved the Thunderbirds show when it was on the telly and have harboured an ambition to drive around Lady Penelope,' said Mr Vann.

There’s one born every 1937....

And finally:

Right oodles of thingies

Two giant pandas, Hua'ao and Qingfeng stretched their chubby limbs, played and even ate the snow as it blanketed Nanshan Park.

"They get particularly excited when they see snow,' said Ma Rong who works at Nanshan Park.

"Sometimes they like to roll a snow-house and hide inside. They also lump the snow together until they make small snowballs. Then they eat the snowballs as if they're having ice cream."

Snow is nothing new for the endangered animals, which live in cold areas at an altitude of about 2,000 metres above sea level.

Bless...

That’s it: I’m orf to spread nanoparticles on my clothes.

And today’s thought:

Angus

‘Ello, ‘ello: Good Moaning: Sparkly bog: Manila slice: Spanish fly: Cardboard cops: and a Mingy Council.

Even colder than the coldest bit earlier in the week at the castle this morn, oodles of white crusty stuff covering all and sundry, the liquid metal in the gauge is still in hiding, the study is still inhabited by ex parrots, the butler has filled the furnace with fat teenagers before he buggers orf for his Crimbo hols and his Maj is clinging to the radiator in the kitchen.

I went for a bit of a drive and a walk out to Little Frensham, which is smaller than Big Frensham but bigger than Teeny Weeny Frensham, god it was cold; but I managed to take a few very bad snaps.

It seems that Le French are not happy with Blighty

French leaders have launched outspoken public attacks on Britain, calling for the UK to lose its AAA credit rating and comparing its economy with that of Greece.

François Baroin, the finance minister, said Britain was “marginalised” and faced “a very difficult economic situation” because of Coalition policies.

He added: “Great Britain is in a very difficult economic situation, a deficit close to the level of Greece, debt equivalent to our own, much higher inflation prospects and growth forecasts well under the eurozone average. It’s an audacious choice the British government has made,” he said.

Time to brick up the Chunnel...

But what’s his name has come to our defence

France was told by Nick Clegg today to end "simply unacceptable" attacks on the UK economy amid mounting cross-Channel tensions over the eurozone crisis.

French Prime Minister Francois Fillon telephoned the Deputy Prime Monster to insist he had not intended to call into question the UK's credit rating.

My dad’s bigger than your dad...

Right many, many miles

To the land where things are still glowing in the dark, a toilet made entirely of Swarovski Crystals has been put on display in Japan.

A Japanese toilet maker's new glittering design is sure to please the 'god of toilet', a deity known in Japan for his love for sparkling toilets.

The toilet was on display at the Lixil Ginza showroom on Friday (December 16), attracting streams of visitors.

Kazuo Sumimiya, director of Lixil's Ginza showroom, said the sparkling toilet was designed to please the 'god of toilet', a Japanese tradition that dates back hundreds of years ago.

'In Japan, we believe that there is a deity existing in the toilet, that's why keeping our toilet clean and taking good care of it have been a Japanese custom since long ago,' Sumimiya said.

Japanese wives' tales promise young women that they'll have a beautiful form and enjoy an easy early birth if they keep their house's toilets clean, an old-fashioned ruse to trick children into taking their daily chores seriously.

Not sure what is in the Castles loo, but I am pretty sure it isn’t a Deity, just part of a “Dei”.

 

Still in the Eastern hemisphere

Dozens of fraternity men held their annual naked run around the University of the Philippines in Manila on Friday (December 16), a campus tradition to promote social issues and academic freedom.

According to Reuters, members from the Alpha Phi Omega brotherhood wore nothing but masks hiding their faces as they ran along the halls while holding placards advocating this year's theme of protecting the environment.

Hundreds of onlookers, who were mostly women and students, packed the school building to get a glimpse of the fraternity men.

The tradition started in the late 70s when members of the Alpha Phi Omega fraternity ran naked on the campus grounds to protest against former President Ferdinand Marcos' censorship of a film criticizing his administration.

The run is held every December around different universities in the Philippines to coincide with the fraternity's founding anniversary.

I can feel the world cooling down already...

And apparently Ryanair has miffed orf a few Spaniards

The cut price airline produces a charity calendar each year, featuring scantily-clad flight attendants.

But the latest version has attracted the wrath of the Provincial Association of Housewives and Consumers of Valencia.

The association has formally complained that the calendar exploits female workers, and reported it to the Non-Sexist Advertising Observatory of Valencia for using the female body in the form of advertising.

The association wants the calendar - intended to raise money to send 50 British families with children who suffer from a fragile skin condition on holiday to Spain - taken off sale.

The housewives say that the airline is profiting by using the publicity whipped up by the calendar to sell its low-cost flights.

However, Ryanair says it has already sold 90% of its 10,000 print run of 2012 calendars, raising nearly £100,000 for the charity, Debra.

Green Spanish onions?

 

Over a bit to the land of alternative products

Traffic police in China have come up with a cost effective way of slowing down speeding motorists - with a cardboard cut-out of a squad car.

The cut-outs, which look like police vehicles from behind, are being used as a traffic calming technique in eastern China's Jiangsu Province.

One motorist, Liu Yuan, said: "I spotted what I thought was a police vehicle parked on the hard shoulder so I hit the brakes.

"It when I went past it, I was stunned to see that it was just a thin piece of board painted to look like a cop car.

"It was so realistic. It even had a solar panel to power a flashing light to make it look even more realistic at night."

A spokesman for the local police, in Wuxi City, confirmed that cardboard cut-outs of police vehicles were being used to slow traffic.

That wouldn’t work in Blighty-too windy....

And finally:

Back to our triple A land

Up where old York is, toddlers have been told to stop making a “diamond” star sign while singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in case the gesture is misinterpreted as sign language representing a female body part.

Staff at the Sure Start centre in Acomb, York were accused of an “overreaction” for stopping the children making the symbol for fear of offending people.

A disgruntled mother said: “It seems a little politically correct. These are innocent little children just making a sign to show a star.

“No one would give it a second thought. Now every parent may worry their child may be making an offensive gesture when they’re singing this song.”

Staff members had been on a course to learn Makaton sign language – a system used by about 100,000 people in Britain that assists people with communication difficulties and shares many signs with British Sign Language, which is used by deaf people.

In both, the sign for female genitalia is an inverted diamond made with a thumb and forefinger, held in front of the crotch.  

During the singing of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, children will usually hold their hands high in an upright diamond as they sing the lines “like a diamond in the sky”.

A spokeswoman for City of York council, which runs the Sure Start mother and toddler group, said it was “a sensible decision taken to prevent deaf children or deaf parents being offended by the use of the gesture”.

She said that having been on the course staff members felt the use of the sign was a sensitive matter and decided instead to use the Makaton sign for a star.

Ah the old “I’ve been on a course” excuse, miserable load of inverted diamonds....

That’s it: I’m orf to explore the Solar System.

And today’s thought:

Angus

Low Carbon con: Out but In: Bus Puss: Texas prezzies: Kitten classes: and Crimbo is orf in Wales.

Oodles of fast moving atmosphere, wet stuff and a whimsy of white fluffy stuff at the Castle this morn, the study is still replete with misbehaving machines, his Maj has decided that going out is orf the agenda and the butler is stuffing fat teenagers into the furnace faster than even U-Turn Cam can change what is laughingly called his mind. 

Apparently:

Low-carbon technology won’t cost the Earth

According to “them” the costs of wind farms and other low-carbon technology will not lead to sharp rises in fuel bills.

The Committee on Climate Change (CCC) says increases in bills over the past few years have been largely due to higher wholesale gas costs.

Members said their "best estimate" was that green policies would add £110 to bills per household in 2020.

It emerged recently that an estimated 1.5m people are in fuel debt in the UK.

The combined gas and electricity bill for typical households could go up from £1,060 in 2010 to £1,250 in 2020, according to analysis by the committee.

But further energy efficiency measures - such as loft and wall cavity insulation - could see the projected 2020 bill fall to £1,085 per household, it said.

CCC chief executive David Kennedy said the committee had analysed the impact of investing in technology including offshore and onshore wind, nuclear and carbon capture and storage.

Mr Kennedy said the cost of this investment was "significantly" outweighed by the benefits - including a reduced reliance on imported fossil fuels.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda.....

And allegedly: 

Over in the bankrupt EU

British officials are to take part in discussions on plans for a new EU fiscal pact, despite U-Turn Cam refusing to sign up to the agreement.

The Prime Monster agreed the move in a phone call with the president of the European Council, Herman von Rompuy.

The decision comes as the head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Christine Lagarde warned Europe's debt crisis would not be solved by Europe alone and called on all countries to work together to avoid a 1930s-style depression.

It also follows the first signs of cracks forming in the new European Union finance deal signed up by all EU countries except the UK at the Brussels summit last week with the leaders of the Czech Republic and Hungary announcing they will not sign the pact unless tax harmonisation plans are dropped.

Do I give a gorilla’s gonads? Nah...

Dahn in Dorset

Dodger the 15-year-old tom boards buses for up to 10 miles, sits on passengers’ laps and gets off without paying. Drivers even know his home bus stop.

Dodger’s servant Mrs Fee Jeanes, 44, said: “My daughter Emily told me one of her friends had seen him on the bus at Charmouth. I panicked and then the bus pulled up and he got off.

“That afternoon I saw Dodger climb on another bus and I rushed to tell the driver. She told me Dodger was always on there. Sometimes he sits in the middle of the road and waits.”

A spokesman for bus firm First said: “Given this cat is elderly we suspect it would be eligible for free travel, perhaps a bus puss.”

 

I can’t get my bus pass until March 2013...

Over the large salty thing on the left to the Lone Star State

A North Texas police department is handing out gift cards instead of tickets.

This week, the Prosper Police Department is rewarding good traffic habits.

The majority of the giving happens in schools zone. Police stop people dropping off their kids to surprise them with the $10 gift cards.

"There's such a high concentration of drivers at pick-up and drop-off times that we can safely approach those vehicles," Assistant Prosper Police Chief Gary McHone said. "Maybe they had a safe speed coming into a parking lot, their inspections were up-to-date, they were using the safety belts in the vehicles, and their child was in a safety restraint."

McHone said it's their way to live up to a well-known police motto.

"To protect and serve -- I think this is a key component in serving is to acknowledge and give thanks to our community," McHone said.

 UK plod take note.....

Dahn Unda

An Australian vet is offering one-to-one obedience classes for cats.

Nicole Hoskin claims she can train kittens to sit, stay and fetch.

One of her most challenging students so far has been a 10-week-old hearing-impaired kitten called Buzz.

The youngster needs to learn hand commands because he is unlikely to ever respond to vocal commands.

Dr Hoskin said: "He's been dumped and is going to be harder to re-home so I've had to teach him to pay attention to me.

"Already he's sitting on command and high-fiving with one paw and he can high-10 with both paws over his head."

Originally, Dr Hoskin offered a service similar to puppy obedience classes but the project failed.

"If you get more than one cat in a room, the claws come out," she said.

She says dogs learn just to please their owners, but cats will only pay attention for food rewards.

Tell me something I don’t know....

And finally:

In Welsh Wales

Thousands of children have been left heartbroken after Father Christmas was turned away from their school – for criminal checks.

The Welsh Assembly has ordered that all Santa’s be vetted by the Criminal Records Bureau.

But the demand came too late for many schools in Pembrokeshire, south Wales, which have been forced to abandon their traditional gift-giving events.

Pembrokeshire MP Stephen Crabb branded the cancellation of Christmas in schools – which often involves fathers and grandfathers – as ‘red tape gone mad’.

The Tory said: ‘Criminal record checks were never supposed to be used for volunteers that sustain and support so much of school life on an infrequent basis.

Volunteers from Fishguard and Goodwick Round Table have accompanied Santa into schools for several years but now felt their ‘hands were tied’.

Chairman Peter Devonald said: ‘Our Father Christmas is CRB checked but we all have to have CRB checks to accompany him.

But a government spokesman said: ‘It is for Pembrokeshire county council to ensure appropriate checks are made on staff and volunteers who come into contact with children.’

 Sigh....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to buy a chest wig.

And today’s thought:

Angus  

Mental MPs: M25 meander: Yoof of today?: Plastic sheep pens: Mental EU: and some more street art.

‘Tis hurling it down at the Castle this morn, the air is moving faster than the fastest thing you could think of and the liquid metal gauge is whimpering in the corner.

The trip to the dentist yestermorn took a bit longer than expected, but after some jabs, a lot of drilling and a second shower I now have a shiny new front “toof”, which was produced on the magic laser guided printer thingy while I waited.

I think I am going mental myself, I sorted this out at six of the am and then forget to publish it....

Apparently MPs need annual mental health checkups

According to Dr Ashley Weinberg heavy workloads and absence from their families may affect politicians' abilities to do their jobs.

He suggests the tests should involve whether MPs have confidence in themselves, their ability to make decisions, their emotional state and whether stress levels are affecting their sleep.

"We need to discover whether MPs are suffering from extreme stress, depression or anxiety. In any working population twenty per cent may well be."

He also says David Cameron should have a regular "behind the scenes" test of his mental well-being.

I’ll second that, but how about testing them BEFORE they become MPS...

All around the Smoke

It was a car trip around the M25 to see his baby grandson which should have taken him just 60 minutes.

But Dennis Leighton, 82, got lost along the way – and was eventually found by police 30 HOURS after setting off.

The shattered grandfather had spent two freezing nights in his vehicle and neighbours said yesterday he was being treated in hospital for hypothermia.

Widower Dennis was believed to be “confused” and was “very grateful” when he was found by officers yesterday.

A source said: “He had been driving around the south of the country, predominantly on the M25 motorway, but had also gone on to some A-roads in the area.

“We think he stopped to catch up on some much-needed sleep, in a motorway service area, before setting off again.”

He set off at 7.30pm on Monday from his home in Windsor, Berks. Ahead of him was a 53-mile journey to his daughter Hazel King’s family home in Swanley, Kent.

It was an anti-clockwise trip round the M25 – turning off at junction three – which he had done many times.

But when he failed to arrive, 40-year-old Hazel, who married husband Peter on her dad’s 70th birthday, became worried and called the police.

Dennis’s car was spotted the next day at 11.20am by a number-plate recognition camera on the M25 at Dartford, Kent.

He was only six miles away from Hazel – but he had driven too far along the M25. His silver Vauxhall Astra Estate was then not seen again for another 13 hours. Dennis was finally found at the wheel by police officers in South London at around 12.45am yesterday morning

And I thought I was a daft old fart-should have bought a satnav....

Still in busted, broke bollixed up Blighty

A British teenager has threatened to kill Santa Claus if she doesn't get what she wants.

"This Christmas, I don't ask for much, so if I don't get at least two of the things I want, I will literally kill you! Do you understand?! Oh, also, I'll hunt down your reindeers, cook them and serve their meat to homeless people on Christmas Day," Mekeeda Austin, 13, wrote in her letter, the Daily Mail reported. "No one wants that, so here's what I want."

The girl lists a BlackBerry, money, a dress, high-top Converse shoes and the real Justin Bieber.

"Remember, two of these or you die," she wrote, signing it, "Love from Keedy."

Her mother found the letter and said she thought the letter was humorous, and she'll try to get her daughter everything she wants.

"I know it sounds like she is spoiled but I like to get my daughter what she wants, also you don't want to get on the wrong side of her," Tracey Soares told the newspaper, although she admitted getting the Canadian pop singer might be difficult because Bieber "will be busy with (his) own (family) on Christmas Day

Austin told the reporter she didn't see any problem with the letter.

"I want all of these things and I don't see why I shouldn't get them," she said.

I know what I would give her....

Dahn to the bottom of our wet and windy land

Six green plastic sheep on a West Sussex roundabout have been put behind bright yellow safety barriers to stop drivers thinking they are real.

The fake flock was installed at the junction on the A283 in Shoreham to promote the South Downs National Park, reports the BBC.

A West Sussex County Council spokeswoman said: "The sheep are bright green so they are not mistaken for the real thing.

"However, because some motorists have expressed concerns that the sheep are real, temporary roadwork barriers were placed around them two weeks ago."

The promotion was part of a scheme in which companies and organisations could sponsor a roundabout by paying for maintenance and improvements.

"For larger roundabouts, such as A283 Shoreham, we expect a feature such as a sculpture or enhanced planting to be provided," added the spokeswoman.

"We are discussing a long-term solution with the sponsor."

Bloody baa-rmy Elfandsafety  Jobsworths...

 And talking of barmy

According to the EU prunes do not have a laxative effect and producers cannot say that they do.

It comes after the organisation was mocked last month a ruling that led to a ban on claims that drinking water can prevent dehydration.

Despite a long held belief that prunes, traditionally served with custard, are good for improving bowel function, the European Food Safety Authority (EFSA) has ruled this is not the case.

Its experts said there was "insufficient" evidence of a link between the dried plums and normal bowel function after looking at three studies of prune consumption.

Last February, an EFSA paper reported: "The Panel concludes that the evidence provided is insufficient to establish a cause and effect relationship between the consumption of dried plums of 'prune' cultivars (Prunus domestica L.) And maintenance of normal bowel function.

The authority had been asked to investigate claims that prunes ensure healthy digestion and bowel function.

In two studies, it was claimed there was no significant difference to participants after eating prunes.

Feed the Pratts on prunes for a week or so and then wait for the conclusion....

And finally:

Some nice art to cheer up your day.

That’s it: I’m orf to keep an eye on a black hole

And today’s thought:

Angus

Dead benefit: Proton-Con-ton: Kensington Virgin(s): Marge slips away: Toy lap dance: and Dobbey the red bus reindeer.

Cold, wet and windy at the Castle this morn, the study is still holding onto crock computers and his Maj has finally worked out how to use the cat flap.

Kept being woken up last dark thing by the army firing orf those yellow parachute flares, there must have been dozens of them-I pity the very large computer company building dahn wind which will probably look like a Crimbo tree this day.

Orf to the dentist later to see if my broken front tooth can be saved-or another week of antibiotics and painkillers....

Apparently:

There are some 41,000 bereaved “partners” who receive benefits after losing a spouse

However, under plans published yesterday, the benefits will end after one year as ministers seek to encourage more widows, widowers and civil partners to return to work.

The government believes that the current £600 million a year system is “antiquated” and derives from a time when women were not expected to work and would have needed more support from the state.

Lord Freud, the welfare reform minister, said the current system offered no encouragement to the bereaved to find employment.

Lord Freud argued that the “primary aim” was “not to cut costs” but to make the benefits more effective.

Ministers are concerned that the current process can undermine people’s long-term job prospects by encouraging them to stay at home for longer.

Tough one this, is a year long enough to grieve? Not for me, and I don’t get any benefits....

And:

Allegedly the Higgs Boson might have been seen (again)

Or not; Scientists say that two experiments at the LHC see hints of the Higgs at the same mass, fuelling huge excitement.

But the LHC does not yet have enough data to claim a discovery.

At a seminar at Cern (the organisation that operates the LHC) on Tuesday, the heads of Atlas and CMS said they see "spikes" in their data at roughly the same mass: 124-125 gigaelectronvolts (GeV; this is about 130 times as heavy as the protons found in atomic nuclei).

"The excess may be due to a fluctuation, but it could also be something more interesting. We cannot exclude anything at this stage," said Fabiola Gianotti, spokesperson for the Atlas experiment.

Can’t wait, but will it pay the bills......

Up in the Smoke

A large number of scantily clad loonies lined up in the freezing cold outside the Virgin Holidays store in Kensington High Street in an attempt to break the world record for the world's largest swimwear queue.

The young men and women taking part were given the incentive of being allowed to pre-register for the holiday company's famous January sale.

Prices for holidays around the world start as low as £399.

Virgin Holiday's West London store, which officially opens in January, is the company's first permanent high street location not within a department store or supermarket.

I must remember to use the old “bikini world record” ploy at the Castle.

Over to the State where James T Kirk comes from

Black Hawk County sheriff's deputies are looking for a thief who slipped away with a truckload of margarine.

The spread, about $50,000 worth, was packed into a semi trailer bound for the Target Distribution Centre in Cedar Falls.

It apparently arrived early, and the truck driver left the trailer at an Elk Run facility on Plaza Drive to wait until the warehouse had space, said Capt. Rick Abben with the Black Hawk County Sheriff's Office. Another truck was slated to pick it up for the the last leg of its journey.

But sometime Saturday night, a driver hooked up the margarine trailer and drove off, according to the sheriff's office. The theft was discovered Sunday and reported to authorities.

No arrests have been made; the incident remains under investigation.

 I bet when the tealeaf opened the trailer he screamed-“I can’t believe it’s not butter”.

Still in the land of the pole and the home of the terpsichorean

A Chicago strip club is offering free lap dances to customers who donate toys for poor children.

The Admiral Theatre will be running its Lap Dances for the Needy event until December 17.

Toys must be new and donors will only receive one lap dance per visit, regardless of how many toys they donate.

The Chicagoist reports that the annual campaign brought in "five car loads" of new toys last year, which were donated to local churches to donate as Christmas presents to needy children.

The theatre is staging Nude Pillow Fighting during the toy drive, in which strippers will compete for the 'Snow Bunny Queen' title.

Already got my ticket and toy......

And finally: 

Back in cold, wet, windy Blighty

Eight-year-old Dobbey the reindeer has been hand-reared from birth and is already well used to spending time with men who enjoy a festive tipple.

Animal-lover Gordon Elliott, 68, took over rearing Dobbey soon after he was born when his own mother rejected him – and now the pair go everywhere together, including trips in his van to local shops, the pub and even on and off trains and buses.

Builder Gordon keeps reindeer, camels, emu and wallabies on a field near his home in Enfield, North London.


Now father-of-two Gordon and his wife Marion, 62, treat him like a pet and every Christmas the pair set out to visit schools and nurseries in their area.

He said: “On Christmas morning I dress as Father Christmas and take Dobbey through town to see children and raise money.


“I’ve even taken him to church on Christmas morning. Everyone loves seeing him. Lots of people stop to take photos.



“Marion thinks I’m crazy.”



 She’s not the only one...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to analyse a head banger.

And today’s thought:

 

Angus