Top Gear in reverse: More for the EU: Graduating to free work: Big Pussy up North: Stainless virgin: Finger painting: and a stuffed Monkey.

Cold, damp and a smidge dismal at the Castle this morn, things are springing up in the garden that shouldn’t be there until...well spring, and I have purchased a couple of vandalism tools-an axe and a three foot bow saw which will come in very useful when I do a bit of “pruning”. 

The new android phone is not bad, gets the internet OK, works well on hands free, has loads of “apps”-you tube, Google etc, and even makes phone calls...

And Blogger is behaving itself today.

Top Gear is in the wars again

This time the “presenters” have managed to piss orf the whole of India.

During the 90 minute programme, Numpty Clarkson, one of the BBC’s highest paid stars, was filmed speaking to locals while operating a trouser press in his boxer shorts and with a Jaguar with a lavatory fixed to the boot.

The programme makers also put banners on trains reading: “British IT is good for your company”. Another said: “Eat English muffins”. The messages became obscene when the carriages parted, ripping the signs-“shIT is good for your company, and “eat English muff”.

21 July 2011

Letter from Chris Hale, producer, Top Gear to Indian High Commission, London

“Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May will travel across India in three cars filming a light hearted road trip focusing on the journey and the inevitable idiosynacies of the cars they will drive, as well as the country and scenary we see along the way.

“There will be spontaneous interaction between the presenters and their environment, and potentially people they meet along the way. This will be in an incidental manner, not interviews.

“Key ingredients of what we film will be beautiful scenery, busy city scenes, local charm and colour within these locations, areas to illustrate the local car culture that exists in India.”

6 January 2012

Letter from Indian High Commission, London to Chris Hale, producer, Top Gear

cc Mark Thompson, director general, BBC

“The programme was replete with cheap jibes, tasteless humour and lacked cultural sensitivity. This is not clearly what we expect of the BBC. I write this to convey our deep disappointment over the documentary for its content and the tone of the presentation.

“You are clearly in breach of the agreement that you had entered into, completely negating our constructive and proactive facilitation. We strongly protest and expect the BBC to make amends, especially to assuage the hurt sentiments of a large number of people.”

No sense of humour these sub-continentals...

And:

Son of a B....aronet (and alien reptile in disguise) George (my dad’s richer than your dad) Osborne reckons that Britain may need to pour billions of pounds into the International Monetary Fund to give it the resources to deal with more financial crises.

The “chancellor” told MPs, in an appearance before the Treasury select committee, that Britain would be willing to make a contribution if there was a "well-argued case put forward". But he stressed that any extra funds must be used for general purposes, and not to bail out troubled eurozone countries directly – and reminded MPs that he might have to go parliament for approval for any sizable contribution.

"If it is a good case then ourselves and other countries like Japan, like Australia, will look at that, I am sure, favourably,"

Go and get a proper job Osborne.

 

Up in Brummy land

Cait Reilly, who has been looking for work since leaving Birmingham University, was volunteering at a museum until she was ordered to take a work placement at a Poundland store in the city.

The geology graduate spent two weeks stacking shelves and sweeping floors after being told she could lose her benefits if she did not accept the ‘mandatory’ post. She is now asking the High Court to quash regulations that her lawyers claim were created by the government ‘without parliamentary authority’ and ‘forces people into futile, unpaid labour for weeks or months at a time’.

 

The 22-year-old, who was not offered an interview following her placement, told her Jobcentre Plus adviser of her previous retail experience and that she did not want to give up volunteering at the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery.

 

The Department for Work and Pensions said: ‘Our priority is to help people off benefits and into work. It is simply absurd to suggest that we should not be providing this support and effectively leaving people at home doing nothing.’

 

Poundland was unavailable for comment last night but said earlier: ‘Our partnership with JobCentre Plus is a positive step to get people back into work.’

Yeah right; especiallyif they don't have to pay them...

Up North-ish 

Dog walkers discovered the mutilated carcass of a roe deer on National Trust land near Stroud last week.

The injuries to the neck of the deer and the way the carcass had been consumed are believed to be highly indicative of big cat activity.

Experts have taken DNA samples from the remains of the deer to see whether a big cat, such as a puma or panther, could have killed it.

Local big cat expert Rick Minter, who has visited the site of the discovery at Woodchester Park, said: "It is very helpful to have this forensic study of the deer carcass.

According to Mr Minter "In the event of a close-up encounter, you should stay calm and face towards the animal as you back off, but not threaten or aggravate it.

"The chances are it will have backed off very quickly first."

I do like an optimist....

Over to the warm bit at the bottom of the new world

Some people say they've seen the likeness of the Virgin Mary in a stainless steel wall at a Tampa restaurant coincidentally named Hamburger Mary's,

Streaks on the shiny wall near the kitchen bore an uncanny resemblance to the Madonna, according to two women eating lunch in a nearby booth, The Tampa Tribune says.

The holy vision was so powerful that one woman wept, according to a manager who talked to The Tribune. Both ladies took pictures to savour the moment.

It hasn't exactly become a pilgrimage site like Lourdes, but word has spread in recent days and customers have been eager to see the wall, according to The Tribune.

Some might be surprised that the so-called Mother of God appeared at a diner known for gay karaoke nights and drag-queen shows, but hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

No shit.....

Dahn a fair bit

A street artist, who creates amazing landscape pictures in just three minutes despite using nothing but his fingers, has become an online hit.

Fabian Gaete Maureira, from Chile, paints 'fingerscape' images containing mountains, waterfalls, trees and sunsets without picking up a paint brush.

Instead he simply dips his fingers in paint and then applies it directly to sheets of glass rather than canvas.

 Handy.....

 And finally: 

Up a lot

Preston James Phipps was detained by a police officer after he hit the cop with a stuffed monkey.

Police officer Andrew Pirtle was struck by the stuffed animal toy after trying to arrest 24-year-old Mr Phipps, a resident of Des Moines in Iowa, who was seen by Pirtle after robbing a corner store.  

Officer Pirtle had reported seeing Mr Phipps walking out of the store carrying two stuffed animals, but thought nothing of it. It wasn't until he was later informed about a robbery involving the toys that he reacted.

Pirtle approached Mr Phipps questioning him about his recent whereabouts on the Saturday night when the incident took place. It was at this point when the 24-year-old became aggressive towards the officer giving him a right hook... with the stuffed monkey he was holding.

Police reports revealed that Mr Phipps had entered the Git-N-Go convenience store robbing it of not only the two fluffy toys, but also a pair of sunglasses and double packs of smokeless tobacco.

He was charged with fifth-degree theft, disorderly conduct and assault on a police officer.

The monkey was unharmed....

That’s it: I’m orf to wind up the Doomsday clock.

And today’s thought:

Angus

Food of the wards: High-rise recession: 15 day hotel: Nork gadgets: Museum of bad art: and the Kung fu cartwheel king.

More than a tad less temperature at the Castle this morn, the moon is hiding behind a whimsy of cloud, the butler is feeding the furnace with fat teenagers and his Maj has discovered the joy of hiding on the stairs in the dark and trying to break my neck.

Late this day, overslept, and now I can’t get going.

And now Blogger keeps freezing and won't let me insert pictures or videos....I will try later; managed to get the pics in using hmtl, but can't upload the video.

Breaking news: -EDF Energy is going to cut gas price by 5%

The move follows a sharp fall in the price of wholesale gas over the winter period due to the mild weather.

EDF increased its gas bills by 15.4% in November in response to rising wholesale gas prices.

 So why are they only cutting prices by 5% then?

Allegedly Hospitals feed patients on 90p a meal

Some hospital trusts commit just £2.57 for each patient’s daily food and drink, according to the latest statistics, despite growing concern about poor nutrition on wards.

At least 30 hospital trusts, almost one in 10 of the total, spend less than £5 a day on breakfast, lunch and dinner for each person in their care.

The statistics, placed in the House of Commons Library this week, drew allegations from patients’ groups that nutritional standards are slipping as managers strive to save money.

Compiled by the NHS Information Centre, the figures give details of spending on food and drink in 2010-11 by more than 350 primary care trusts, foundation hospitals and other NHS bodies.

They reveal large budget disparities, with some trusts spending more than £20 a day on each patient, while others commit barely a 10th of that.

The lowest spender was the Western Sussex Hospitals trust, which was listed as paying £2.57 a day to feed each patient.

Several other trusts spent less than £1 on each meal. Harrow in north-west London spent £2.75 for each patient each day, compared with £2.83 the previous year. North Somerset spent £2.76 per patient. Bassetlaw in Nottinghamshire spent £3.02, down from £4.78 in 2009-10.

In total, 30 of the NHS bodies listed spent less than £5 a day on each “patient meal day” — the average daily cost for the provision of all meals and drinks fed to an in-patient. By contrast, Wiltshire primary care trust spent £22.31. Several others spent more than £10 a day.

I’m orf to Wiltshire then...

According to my bank

Barclays Capital reckons that there is an "unhealthy correlation" between the building of skyscrapers and subsequent financial crashes.

Examples include the Empire State building, built as the Great Depression was underway, and the current world's tallest, the Burj Khalifa, built just before Dubai almost went bust.

China is currently the biggest builder of skyscrapers, the bank said.

India also has 14 skyscrapers under construction.

"Often the world's tallest buildings are simply the edifice of a broader skyscraper building boom, reflecting a widespread misallocation of capital and an impending economic correction," Barclays Capital analysts said.

The bank noted that the world's first skyscraper, the Equitable Life building in New York, was completed in 1873 and coincided with a five-year recession. It was demolished in 1912.

Other examples include Chicago's Willis Tower (which was formerly known as the Sears Tower) in 1974, just as there was an oil shock and the US dollar's peg to gold was abandoned.

And Malaysia's Petronas Towers in 1997, which coincided with the Asian financial crisis.

 Barclays Capital's Skyscraper Index has been published every year since 1999.

So that’s where what is left of my money is going....

And talking of high buildings

A Chinese company has released a time-lapse video of its construction of a 30-storey mega hotel in just 15 days.

Released by the Asian sustainable building firm Broad Group, the video shows the impressive infrastructure being constructed within a 360-hour time frame in China’s south central Hunan Province.

Using cutting-edge building technology, which uses six times less cement and is believed to be five times more energy efficient than regular construction material, the 17,000-metre-squared earthquake-proof skyscraper was completed at the end of 2011.

The Ark hotel was built using pre-fabricated modules and uses a diagonal steel bracing.

The remarkable building also boasts a filtration system with air 20 times purer inside than outside and can withstand a 9.0-magnitude earthquake, as tested by the China Academy of Building Research.

And it’s not just the hotel that was built in the 15 days, but all the furniture has apparently been moved into the building, so it’s ready for guests.

Note to myself-do not stay at the Ark hotel...

Dahn a bit

The perfect gift this coming Valentine’s Day could be the Japanese boob warmer (powered by USB and weighs only 38 grams-22 Japanese what knots), or you could purchase the breast pillow, or even the Nork roller for a loved one. 

Or maybe not…..

Over to the land of the canvas and the home of the artistically dyslexic

You can visit the Museum of bad art in the basement of the Dedham Community Theatre. The gallery is conveniently located just outside the men's room. The nearby flushing helps maintain a uniform humidity.

This, MOBA's first permanent gallery, proudly opened in October 1995. For a number of years, it was the world's only museum dedicated to bad art. A small museum in the basement of an old building, MOBA is appropriately lit by one large, humming fluorescent light fixture.

 Go on, click on the link, you know you want to....

And finally:

Back over to high rise China

Hu Jiakai has hit the headlines after cart wheeling continuously for 3.5km through the streets of Changsha, China.

It took Jiakai an hour to complete the pointless task

The 47-year-old who didn't stop or stand up during the whole event - although the reason for his hour of head-spinning is not yet known.

The local builder was aided by his brother-in-law throughout the stunt, who acted as an escort and witness to the bizarre spectacle.

It seems his apprentice struggled to keep up with the acrobatic stuntman however, revealing: 'His tumbling is really faster than our walking.'

And I thought I was desperate for “news”...

That’s it: I’m orf to have a gander at “the fat one”

And today’s thought:

Angus

Cooking up a caution: How long are your Telomeres?: Rich Rozzers: Clarkson rakes it in: Bionic chicken: Glider boat: and a rusty old bike.

Quite clement at the Castle this morn, back to fixing fuddled fumbles in the study, and his Maj has discovered the joy of blackmailing me into giving him “Dreamies” with every meal.

It seems that if you are an old fart, rich, a “personality” and in with the management

You can snaffle stuff from Tesco with impunity, and yes I am talking about double barrelled Worral Thompson who managed to steal from my favourite retailer on more than a couple of occasions.

According to The Sun, a camera had been set up after he was spotted by staff not paying for some low-value items on a total of five occasions.

He was stopped by guards leaving the store in front of shocked shoppers.

A police spokesman said: "Thames Valley Police arrested a 60-year-old man from High Wycombe following a report of shoplifting offences in Tesco, Reading Road, Henley-on-Thames.

"The man has been issued with a formal caution for these offences."

A Tesco spokesman said: "It's a matter for police."

A-w-t said “"I am not the first and I certainly won't be the last person to do something without rhyme or reason - what went through my head, only time will tell.”

 Yeah-about five times apparently.

And: 

North of the border

Scientists at Glasgow University say they have found a key genetic indicator of how long an individual will live.

They say the lengths of tiny pieces of DNA called telomeres indicate whether a young creature is likely to live long into old age.

But before you rush out to get your telomeres stretched - were such a process possible - it is worth pointing out that the creatures they have been working with are not humans but altogether shorter-lived zebra finches.

At the ends of each chromosome lie the telomeres. They have been likened to the caps on the ends of shoelaces - they stop things from unravelling.

Over time they wear down - and when they do, the DNA they protect is compromised and the cell can malfunction or die.

 

 Think my laces are broken.....

Back dahn sarf

It seems that more than half of police officers are paid £38,000 a year or above, putting them in the top 20 per cent of earners, new figures show.

And almost half of officers working for the Metropolitan Police earn more than £47,000, putting them among the top ten per cent.

 

Value for our money?

Staying on the subject of value for money

My favourite Numpty Jeremy Clarkson made £2.14million off the back of Top Gear in just 12 months thanks to a lucrative BBC deal.

The controversial presenter earned twice as much as he did the year before, setting him up as one of the BBC's most successful TV personalities.

Clarkson's earnings are the result of a complex deal with BBC Worldwide which means he benefits from the show's popularity in 198 different countries as well as the spin-off DVDs, merchandise and live shows.

Accounts show that his cut amounted to £1.79million in the year to March 2011, up from £829,000 the previous year.

The funny man - who joked last year that public sector workers should be 'executed' for going on strike - is then paid an extra £350,000 by the BBC as a performance fee, taking his total annual pay from Top Gear up to £2.14million.

Although BBC Worldwide has 50 per cent stake in the company set up to specifically manage Top Gear, Bedder 6, Clarkson and co-producer Andy Wilman split the remainder of the money made from Top Gear T-shirts, remote-controlled cars, watches, mugs, magazines as well as royalty fees 30/20.

The show's recent success is largely down to its increasing popularity in the US, where it was remade for American audiences, and Australia, which receives the original British version.

Think I am going to vomit..... 

Up a smidge to Cheshire

Animal lover Sue Murphy loves her hen Amelia so much she paid £600 getting the bird fitted with a bionic limb when it suffered a fractured thigh.

‘I’d do the same for a cat or a dog,’ said Mrs Murphy, 51. ‘Everybody thinks I’m mad but she’s our pet. She’s got such character.’

The former nurse and husband John, 54, who keep nine other ex-battery hens, dogs, cats and horses, said: ‘I eat chicken if it’s free range but I couldn’t let them put Amelia down.’

Avian expert Richard Jones spent two hours fitting a metal rod supported by external ‘scaffolding’ to the one-year-old brown hen’s thigh bone – the first time the vet had carried out the procedure on poultry.

‘It meant Amelia could move her joints freely during the healing process and within half an hour she was walking again,’ he said.

Three more operations were needed to remove the rod and pins.

Amelia is now back to her old tricks trying to escape her run and perching on the roof of her owner’s home in Plumley, Cheshire.

‘She’s such a cheeky character and fingers crossed she doesn’t get into any more trouble with her antics,’ said Mrs Murphy.

Eggceptional.....

Somewhere on the big salty thing

An Australian adventurer is attempting to break the world speed kite surfer record this year with a hybrid glider-boat which can reach speeds of more than 100km an hour.

UK-based Paul Larsen, originally from Healesville in Victoria, hopes to break the record held by a kite surfer with his Vestas Sailrocket 2 in Namibia, Africa.

"Vestas Sailrocket 2 is truly a hybrid glider-boat,'' Larsen said.

"It is currently banging its head against the conventional limits which it is designed to break through.

"We are still very much in development and still believe that we will make the breakthroughs that will yield massive performance gains.

Why??? 

And finally:

 

Over to the bright lights on the left

A rusty 106-year-old motorbike is expected to fetch £50,000 when it goes under the hammer at auction.

The 1906 Indian Camelback was one of the first two-wheeled motorised machines. The single cylinder 311cc 4-stroke petrol engine produced 2.25hp.

Only 1,698 were made that year and this example is one of few remaining and enthusiasts are particularly keen on it because of its "unrestored" state.

It was owned by the du Pont family, which bought the 'Indian Motorcycle Manufacturing Company' that built it, and this cycle was last ridden in the 1970s.

Whoever buys the machine will probably use minimum efforts to restore it to a working condition, as a complete restoration would actually see its value reduce.

The Indian cycles were the great rivals of Harley-Davidson, but the company eventually went bankrupt in 1953.

It had a rudimentary braking system and a hobnail boot on the ground would have been needed to help it stop.

The motorcycle is going under the hammer at Bonhams in Las Vegas on January 12.

Ben Walker from Bonhams said: "This motorcycle is in such demand because of its condition and to restore it would actually take value off.

"The motorcycle will probably be 'oily-ragged', which means wiping it down with oil to preserve it as it is."

 

Wouldn’t pass the MOT anyway....

That’s it: I’m orf to look for the very tasty, extinct Galapagos tortoise.

And today’s thought:

Angus

Nonagenarian knobbled by Elfandsafety: Diesel hike: Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop arrested: Engrish products: Remember summer?: and the Zambezi bungeeeeeeee.

Dryish, coldish and calmish at the Castle this morn, the contents of the study have spilled out into the spare room, his Maj has discovered the joy of smacking into the locked cat flat at full speed before I get the chance to unlock it, and the falling down and lying in vomit thing seems to be much better this Monday, no anti falling down and lying in vomit pills as yet-still standing....

Just returned from the stale bread gruel and pussy food run dahn Tesco, two quid more than last week....

Up to the bit where they used to make pots

Eric Carter, 91, was delighted to be invited to inspect a newly-revamped Spitfire in the city where he trained to fly them.

But when he asked if he could get in the cockpit, officials at the Potteries Museum and Art Gallery in Stoke-on-Trent told him it was a health and safety risk.

Stoke-on-Trent City Council said on the day of Eric's visit there was no "proper seat" in the plane, which had been recently coated with paint containing traces of radioactive radium.

He added: "For those reasons, and because of his age, the people on the day thought it best he did not sit in the plane."

 

So it’s alright to allow visitors to be exposed to radioactivity but not to let Eric sit in the bloody thing...potty Elfandsafety.

And apparently Iran has pushed up the cost of diesel

 The average price of diesel on UK forecourts hit 141p a litre over the weekend.

Experts predict that by the end of January the cost of diesel will top the 143p a litre peak it reached on May 9 last year.

This will sharply push up the cost of driving for owners of diesel cars, which account for a quarter of all cars on the road in Britain.

Iran’s threat of a blockade in the Strait of Hormuz and shutdowns at refineries contributed to a 4.5p per litre hike in the price that petrol stations pay for diesel between December 19 and January 5, according to figures from RMI Petrol.

The price of unleaded petrol could also overtake its record high of 137.4p per litre at some point this year. Unleaded petrol cost 132.3p a litre at the end of last week.

 

Sigh...if motors ran on air “they” would tax it because China pollutes so much...

  

Across to the land of the odd and the home of the over imbibing

 A Madison man is in jail after police said he violated his bail conditions from a previous run-in with the law.

Thirty-year-old Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop is tentatively charged with carrying a concealed knife, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a probation violation after his arrest Thursday. He remained in jail as of Sunday. Jail records don't list a bail amount or an attorney for him.

He legally changed it to Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop in October. He was arrested in another Madison park last April after police found a loaded handgun in his backpack.

Court records show his previous name was Jeffrey Drew Wilschke

No wonder he changed it.....

 

East more than a lot

The Engrish language is thriving-sort of.

Not bad; they would probably get an A* at CGSE level....

Cast your mind back to last “summer”

Here are a few reminders.

And finally:

 

Left to the un-light continent

According to Australia's Channel 9, Erin Langworthy, fell into the Zambezi River on New Year's Eve after the rope snapped on her bungee descent.

As her friends looked on aghast, the 22-year-old managed to free her still bound legs and swim to safety through the crocodile-infested waters.

"I think it is definitively a miracle that I survived," Miss Langworthy told the television station.

The lucky survivor spent a week in hospital, but was not seriously injured in the fall, Channel 9 reported.

Bet some poo came out.....

That’s it: I’m orf to snap up a fifteen squid computer.

And today’s thought:

Angus

Olympic tosspots: Frack orf: Free Wi-Fi: A real laptop: Roadkill bill: A penny for inflation: and There’s an app for that Dave.

Cold, calm and curmudgeonly at the Castle this morn, the butler is inserting fat teenagers in to the furnace at faster than light speed, his Maj has discovered the joy of hiding things in my shoes and then watching as I hobble about, and the falling down and lying in vomit thing is still going on occasionally but at least I now have anti falling down and lying in vomit pills.

Ain’t life grand.....?

I see that the Olympic Numptys still can’t organise a long jump in a sandpit

And London 2012 has suspended the Olympic ticket resale system on the day it was launched after problems with the official website.

Earlier, Locog stopped customers from putting Olympic tickets up for resale but it was still possible for people to buy tickets.

The process was designed to allow people to try to resell their unwanted London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic tickets to others willing to buy them.

The main problem appears to be that the site, run by Ticketmaster, was slow to update sessions which had sold out.

Nah; the main problem is that the twats couldn’t find their arse in a dark room if they had a flaming giant cheese grater.

And dahn ‘ere in the sarf

The US oil firm that triggered earthquakes in the north of England last year has quietly secured permission to use its controversial “fracking” technique across the Home Counties.

Licenses at sites in Sussex, Surrey and Kent have been obtained by Cuadrilla Resources, which blasts high-pressure water, sand and chemicals into shale rock deep underground to extract natural gas.

One of Cuadrilla’s sites is near the Sussex village of Balcombe, close to the London to Brighton train line and within a mile of a reservoir serving 65,000 homes.

Nice; still it will give the “train people” another excuse-earthquake under the tracks....

Up in the Smoke

The largest free Wi-Fi zone in Europe will be launched in central London, providing internet access to millions of people, after a landmark deal between mobile operator O2 and local boroughs.

The deal between O2 and Westminster council and the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea will allow residents and visitors to the capital to access free Wi-Fi on a host of mobile devices.

A statement from O2 said the deal, which would come at no cost to the taxpayer, was particularly important given the number of people expected to visit London during the summer for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and the Olympic Games.

The free Wi-Fi access will be made available ‘once the Metro wireless network is installed on the street furniture’, the statement declared - adding work would begin this month.

Just the “posh” bits then....

And east more than a couple of keyboards

Allegedly the latest thing is a wearable computer designed and made by a sci-tech company in Yunnan which includes an eyeglasses-shaped mainframe, a mouse and a folding keyboard.

The computer, the first of its kind in China, will be mass-produced and sold in March.

Can’t wait...

Over the big wet salty thing on the left

Anyone with an Illinois furbearer license will be able to salvage pelts or even food from the unfortunate fauna that prove no match for steel-belted radials.

At least 14 states have laws related to Roadkill, including those that let motorists' keep animals they hit, though some pertain only to deer or bears, according to an informal survey for The Associated Press by the National Conference of State Legislatures.

Since Illinois' law took effect in October, Champ, a 26-year-old who lives in Dix, about 80 miles east of St. Louis, has skinned a mink and three raccoons he found dead while driving for his job with an electrical supply company.

He hasn't sold them yet, but pelts from certain wild animals are fetching the highest prices in years, due to a strong demand in Russia, China and other countries where they are valued more for their warmth than as a fashion statement. A raccoon skin routinely gets about $9, red fox $14 and muskrat $6.50, with top dollar often twice that amount. In Illinois, furs — mostly raccoon and muskrat — brought in $1.2 million in 2010, up 95 percent from the previous year.

The state has offered some safety tips for those taking advantage of the law, including urging salvagers to wear gloves at all times and don protective glasses to avoid fluids splashing into eyes. Immediately washing hands and any fluid-stained clothing

Game meat must be cooked to an internal temperature of 160 degrees to kill any bacteria.


Think I’ll miss out on that one, anyway it wouldn’t work in Blighty, there is no market for cat and dog pelts.....or is there?

Staying in the land of the decimal coinage and the home of inflation

A once-cent copper coin from the earliest days of the U.S. Mint in 1793 has sold for a record $1.38 million at a Florida auction.

The news release said the coin is known as a "Chain Cent" because its chain of linking rings was supposed to represent the solidarity of the states. The design was changed to a wreath after some critics claimed it was symbolic of slavery.

Halperin said the auction had more than $64 million in transactions. The show runs through Sunday.

Penny for your thoughts....

And finally: 

Back in bemused Blighty

The Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition reckons that experts are considering developing a bespoke iPad app that would deliver key data straight to Prime Monster U-Turn Cam’s tablet computer.

Officials said Wednesday that the idea is being discussed, though Dave’s Downing Street office declined to comment on the details.

The Times reported the app could include statistics and information from government departments, real time news and Twitter updates.

Dick head Dave has previously discussed his affection for his iPad, but acknowledged he needed “a little bit of help from someone in IT” to set up the gadget.

No surprises there then....

That’s it: I’m orf to find out whether the fish is an octopus - or vice versa 

And today’s thought:

Angus 

Travelling treat: Strait Britannia: Potty old farts: Pregnant perv: Fat compo: and the Plop up restaurant.

Warmish, calmish and darkish at the Castle this morn, the furnace is nicely stocked with fat teenagers, the study is nicely stocked with duff differential do-dahs, and his Maj has discovered the joy of sitting on the bird nesting box-just in case, still it keeps him orf the streets.

The falling down and lying in vomit thing is much better this day, that’ll teach you.

Remember Dale Farm?

Well the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has come up with a way to spend £47 million of our squids to “prevent” the problem occurring again.

Moves to create some 800 permanent sites across England for Traveller families will be announced today in an effort to defuse community tensions with settled residents.

Under the £47m initiative, new locations will be found from Cornwall to Co Durham for Travellers, preventing them from having to put their caravans on unauthorised land.

There are believed to be nearly 19,000 Traveller caravans in England, about 20 per cent of them on unauthorised sites. The award of cash to local authorities and housing associations is combined with stronger powers for councils to remove illegal sites and to stop people applying retrospectively for planning permission.

The money will be used to provide 884 pitches, of which 617 will be new and 167 will be refurbished. A further £13m is being set aside to develop further pitches. Ministers say that with previous planning laws Whitehall told councils how many sites to allocate to Travellers – a top-down approach that forced some councils to encroach on the Green Belt.

Andrew Stunell, the Communities minister, told The Independent: "If there are enough authorised and approved sites for the Traveller population, there is no need for an unauthorised or illegal settlement."

Yeah right... 

And:

Philip Hammond, the defence secretary

Told delegates in Washington DC yesterday that Britain will not tolerate an enforced closure of the 34-mile Strait of Hormuz, where 20 per cent of the world's oil passes through.

Tehran threatened to cut off the waterway this month in response to US and EU sanctions against the regime's suspected nuclear weapons programme.

Mr Hammond warned Iran of Britain's "determination" to keep the Strait open in a speech at the Atlantic Council.

Ooh scary.....

And apparently:

A “new” study

Has found that past or present drug use doesn't seem to damage middle-aged brains, British researchers studied the mental sharpness of thousands of 50-year-old subjects, and found that those who had used illicit drugs—mainly marijuana—actually performed better than others on tests of memory and other brain functions, Reuters reports. Around a quarter of test subjects said they had taken drugs at some point in their lives; 6% were still using drugs in their '40s.

The middle-aged tokers may have scored higher than others because the drug users tended to have a higher education level than non-users, the researchers say. "The results seem to suggest that past or even current illicit drug use is not necessarily associated with impaired cognitive functioning in early middle age," the lead researcher says. "However, our results do not exclude possible harmful effects in some individuals who may be heavily exposed to drugs over longer periods of time."

Smokin.....it’s done me no harm-and I never even inhaled.....

Over in O......klahoma

Police in Oklahoma City say a man was jailed for exposing himself to an employee at a maternity store where he was trying on clothing.

Authorities say 48-year-old Jeffrey Don Watson of Norman was booked Wednesday on a complaint of indecent exposure and was freed on $2,000 bail.

Police records allege Watson was trying on bras and dresses at the store at the Penn Square Mall on Dec. 27 when he asked the store's female manager for assistance in the dressing room.

The Oklahoman reports the manager told police that when she entered the dressing room Watson exposed himself to her.

Police say Watson has been arrested several times before on lewdness complaints.

www.confused.numpty

And still in the land of slightly overweight and the home of the law suit

A morbidly obese man who fell through his lounge room floor sued the Department of Housing and claimed discrimination on the grounds the property was unable to support his 250kg frame.

Wayne Douglas told the Human Rights Commission that the department, which had allocated him a four-bedroom home in Macquarie Fields, had failed to provide him with a home suitable for his weight.

The commission terminated the case, so Mr Douglas went to the Federal Magistrates Court which heard evidence that the assigned home had termite damage and, when a carer moved some furniture so Mr Douglas could sweep the floor, he fell through to the ground below in November 2006.

Mr Douglas did not pay rent to live in the home - which the department had considered suitable due to it having a large shower recess - for almost six months.

Last night Mr Douglas said he suffered severe leg injuries in the incident, which led to blood clots, and he was still suffering as a result of the fall.

The court found Mr Douglas was free to refuse the property and apply for alternative residential tenancies.

It also found Mr Douglas had imposed conditions on where he lived, having asked the department to find him a home in the Macquarie Fields area. His case was dismissed and costs would be considered, court documents showed.

"They gave me a house that was termite-ridden, I went through the floor," Mr Douglas said.

"You might remember me, I was on Today Tonight they said I was too fat to be a dad.

"I am still in the house, it is still shit."

Wanker....

And finally:

East is east

A new eatery called 'The S***house' dishes up its oriental delicacies served in replica toilets and bedpans.

The critics might pan it, but one restaurant in the Chinese capital Beijing has got food fans going potty for it.

The plop-up restaurant has queues around the block as punters prove that it's more than just a flush in the pan.

Co-owner Feng Lu said: 'We had the idea when we were discussing one of the worst restaurants we'd ever eaten in and one of us said it had been a real toilet. So we decided to see if we could make a restaurant that was just one big toilet.

"We can't quite believe how successful it's been. Now we're talking about opening a chain," added Feng.

Shouldn’t that be “pulling a chain”?


That’s it: I’m orf to try some herbal baccy

And today’s thought man:

Angus