Sunday 19 February 2012

More bonus bollocks: Tesco wants you (for nothing): Anti-terror emails: Balloon blackout: Iron Egg Skill: Iowan bacon festival: and Flying fat tax.


Cold and clear with a thick layer of white crusty stuff at the Castle this morn, fat teenagers are sliding into the furnace faster than the “new” thingy at CERN and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from under the four poster.


Allegedly Ministry of Defence civil servants have been awarded £40 million in bonuses despite fierce criticism of the department.
One senior civil servant was awarded an £85,831 bonus on top of their six-figure salary - at the same time as members of the armed forces have been subject to a two-year pay freeze and 20,000 are to be made redundant.
The bonuses have been paid since April last year and have seen more than 55,000 officials awarded extra payments for their performance - out of a payroll of 83,000.

In other departments-

Department of Work and Pensions employees scooped £51 million. The Department of Transport paid out £9.2million, the Foreign Office £6.4 million and the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs £2.3 million. The Department for Education spent £1.9 million on bonuses, the Department for Health £1.7 million, the Cabinet Office £1.3million and the Department for Innovation and Skills £1.1million.


Whatever happened to just working for a salary?




My favourite retailer is looking for a permanent night shift worker in exchange for no wages, the job was offered under the Government's "workfare scheme", which is linked to payment of benefits. The advert said the wages would simply be "jobseeker's allowance and expenses".
A statement from the supermarket chain said: "The advert is a mistake caused by an IT error by Jobcentre Plus and is being rectified.
"It is an advert for work experience with a guaranteed job interview at the end of it as part of a Government-led work experience scheme. We take our responsibility as Britain's biggest private sector employer seriously."
Employment Minister Chris Grayling told the Commons last month that the scheme was working well and was much better value for money for the taxpayer than the last Labour government's Future Jobs Fund.
Jobseekers' allowance is currently paid at £53.45 per week for under-25s, or £67.50 for older staff.


If that is the way Tesco are going it’s about time they reduced their prices...




Has come up with yet another gem, Details of every phone call and text message, email traffic and websites visited online are to be stored in a series of vast databases under new Government anti-terror plans.
Landline and mobile phone companies and broadband providers will be ordered to store the data for a year and make it available to the security services under the scheme.
The databases would not record the contents of calls, texts or emails but the numbers or email addresses of who they are sent and received by.
For the first time, the security services will have widespread access to information about who has been communicating with each other on social networking sites such as Facebook.
Direct messages between subscribers to websites such as Twitter would also be stored, as well as communications between players in online video games.
A Home Office spokesman said: “It is vital that police and security services are able to obtain communications data in certain circumstances to investigate serious crime and terrorism and to protect the public.


No warrant no crime....





A Valentine's Day gift is being blamed for a power outage in Southern California.
Southern California Edison spokesman David Song says a helium-filled balloon scored a direct hit on the company's Fontana substation Tuesday night, knocking out power to 15,099 customers.
Song says a utility crew rushed to the station and had the power restored by 9:51 p.m.
The substation was the second to encounter problems in Southern California on Tuesday night. A Huntington Beach substation went out at 7:42 p.m., affecting 21,285 customers. Song says power was restored there at 10:38 p.m.


There must be a moral in there somewhere.


Shoalin monks “practise” the Iron Egg Skill 

Warning-if you are of a sensitive nature DO NOT watch this video.

  



Bet that stings....




Comes the simple pleasure of gripping a fistful of bacon strips in one hand, and an ice cold beer in the other.
The joy of biting into a giant bacon-infused doughnut ball topped with chocolate and even more bacon.
“Everything about bacon is like Hometown Iowa,” said Becca Swalla, 24, of Urbandale, who attended Saturday’s Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival. “I mean, really, you wouldn’t see this baconfest happening in California. Only in Iowa will people come together to eat a bunch of bacon-covered bacon.”
But even some of the 4,000 attendees acknowledged protesters outside the 165,000-square-foot bacon pleasure palace on the Iowa State Fairgrounds had valid concerns. Too many bacon tacos and cupcakes can’t be good for your health.


Num, num, num I’m orf to the kitchen....


And finally:



Key elements of Britain’s disability and discrimination laws do not apply, a court ruling could pave the way for the introduction of a “fat tax” for obese fliers, a leading barrister has claimed.
And it could also prevent passengers with a disability from seeking compensation from their airline if they receive unsatisfactory or inconsistent treatment during a flight.
“Judges” decided after considering two cases involving wheelchair users who sued their airlines after they were unable to sit next to their carers on board a flight. Both subsequently suffered “embarrassing” incidents.
But both cases were dismissed after the court ruled that the Montreal Convention, a framework of international rules and regulations on air travel, should take precedence over British law.
The introduction of a “fat tax” has been mooted by Ryanair in the past, following a survey conducted by the airline which suggested around a third of passengers supported it. A number of carriers already insist that obese customers buy an extra seat if they are unable to comfortably fit into one.


Nice to see that even Canada’s law supersedes Blighty’s....




And today’s thought:

The new RAF.



Angus

Saturday 18 February 2012

Pay up El Papa: The ladder of compo: Bankers Dahn Unda: Cracking up in Shanghai: Not working at the carwash: And talking to Angels.


Calmish, coldish and cloudyish at the Castle this morn, the mock orange “tree” is still in situ-plan N didn’t work, and the Francaise malaise is still infectious-I keep shrugging....




The Vatican is now facing a new €600m-a-year tax bill as Rome seeks to head off European Commission censure over controversial property tax breaks enjoyed by the Church.
As the EC heads closer to officially condemning the fiscal perks enjoyed by the Catholic Church and introduced by the Berlusconi administration, Prime Minister Mario Monti has written to the Competition Commissioner, Joaquin Almunia, saying that the Vatican will resume property tax, or Ici, payments.


Dig deep Benedict....




Apparently Whitehall civil servants can claim compensation for laddered tights or snagged suits.
They could be paid back for damage to clothing, handbags, and shoes while at work – even if the department where they worked was not to blame.
A £300 damaged woollen suit could be worth £225 if it was 12 months old and £150 if it was two years old.And a civil servant ripping a £5 pair of tights could be entitled to £4.50.

A Cabinet Office spokeswoman said: “There is no free-for-all clothes replacement in the Civil Service. Departments can compensate employees for property damaged at work but only if there’s reasonable case for it.



But remember-“We are all in this together”...



ANZ boss Mike Smith is taking his top staff on a $1.75 million cruise just weeks after axing 1000 workers to save money.
The exclusive Silver Shadow cruise of Malaysia's Langkawi islands boasts gourmet food, drinks and luxury suites.
Each of the 200 passengers - 100 staff and their guests - will have a personal butler.
Just days after sacking 1000 staff - 600 from its Docklands HQ - ANZ revealed a $1.48 billion quarterly profit.
An ANZ spokesman said the trip was for winners of the ANZ CEO recognition program, which did not involve senior staff, and "the program recognises our 100 top performers who are mostly junior staff who often get little recognition for the job they do".


Oh well that’s alright then....




Allegedly Lujiazui is falling down, the price to pay for having one of the world’s most iconic skylines, Shanghai’s Lujiazui is suffering from an increasing number of mini “fault lines” radiating outwards in every direction.
Particularly near Shanghai’s most iconic buildings: the World Financial Centre and the Jin Mao Tower. As progress continues on China’s future tallest skyscraper, the Shanghai Tower (situated directly across the street from the current cracks), one can only hope the entire area doesn’t end up collapsing in on itself.
Since 2003, Shanghai has been sinking under the weight of tons of concrete and steel at a rate of about 1.5 centimetres per year, prompting city officials to limit the construction of some skyscrapers. Over the past century, it has sunk over 2 metres.


Underground parking?




Amy Johnson of Minneapolis bought a $12 carwash voucher in November from Calhoun Beach Automotive, a BP gas station in the Uptown area of Minneapolis, but found the line too long to wait in. So she stashed the receipt, which had a code that would let her enter the automated carwash and that expired in 30 days.
When she returned 37 days later, the code wouldn't grant her access. She thought that was unfair and is suing BP.
Johnson just wants her $12 back, but her lawyer, Shawn Wanta, said this kind of situation has happened to so many Minnesota consumers that it merits a class-action suit asking for damages of more than $5 million. That's what the law firm figures is the minimum value of carwash certificates since February


Shoulda, woulda, coulda….


And finally:



To the land of the Norse, Princess Martha Louise, who has set up her own alternative medicine business, Thursday published her second book about angels, advising readers on how to talk to them.
"There are an infinite number of angels all around us who want to help us in all circumstances and at all times," the 40-year-old princess and fellow author Elisabeth Nordeng wrote in their introduction to the book "the Secrets of Angels".
"They are there for us. They are real. They exist," they added.
The book is a sequel to "Discover your Guardian Angel" which the two women published in 2009.
"In 'the Secrets of Angels' we reveal some of their secrets to make it easier for you to contact them. Angels want to be in touch with you, but it's important to know how they operate and how they get in touch," the women said.
The princess, who is fourth in line of success to the Norwegian crown, has renounced her title of Princess Royal along with most of her official duties in order to lead her own private life.


Think my Angel has buggered orf.....




And today’s thought:

 Carwash


Angus

Friday 17 February 2012

Bedroom tax: Read it: Titanic lawsuit: Tiger snake ball biter: Blue Calcutta: and Charlie Thornstein.


Non weather again at the Castle this morn, the butler has returned from his well earned rest and is once again stuffing fat, carbon friendly teenagers into the furnace and his Maj has discovered the joy of sitting on top of my bladder at four of the am. 

The foreign flu is still running its course-I have this urge to colonise an African country and borrow a nuke or two...




Despite the defeat in the arse of Lords the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition is to press ahead with their 'bedroom tax' on under-occupied council housing.
The Lords had originally backed an amendment postponing the housing benefit cut until an offer of alternative accommodation had been refused.
But the ‘government’, which expects 85% of those affected will not be able to move elsewhere because of a shortage of housing, restored the measure - dubbed a 'bedroom tax' by campaigners - in the Commons.
Welfare reform minister David Freud responded by acknowledging that the government did not expect all of the 670,000 affected people to move house. He said claimants had a number of options to try to "make up any shortfall and stay where they are" before housing benefit claimants lose £14 a week if they have a spare room.

Allegedly a DWP spokesperson said.

"The majority of the public agree with the Government's welfare reforms and we look forward to delivering on these radical proposals that will make our welfare system better and fairer."


Yeah right.....



The Duckess of the bit next to Devon reckons that she loves being able to “forget about everything else” and immerse herself in a novel.
“I spend my life reading to my grandchildren, trying to get them to concentrate. It takes you completely out of yourself.
"You can forget about everything else and bury yourself in a book,” said the Duckess, who is Patron of The National Literacy Trust, the Wicked Young Writers' Award, Booktrust and First Story.
 

Do stop horsing around...



An Imperial Beach woman named Princess Samantha Kennedy claims the script of the movie Titanic unlawfully draws from her unpublished biography and family history, and last week filed a lawsuit against Paramount Pictures for copyright infringement.
For the alleged infringement she wants all copies of the movie destroyed, and to be awarded all money made by the movie. The second highest grossing film ever, according to IMDB.com Titanic made $1.8 billion in worldwide box office sales alone after its premiere in 1997.
Kennedy claims the family history and biography was written between 1990 and 1992 and covers generations dating back to the 1800s.
Kennedy claims she only recently saw the movie on television within the last year.
The complaint also requests a preliminary injunction against the studio benefiting from the movie while the matter is being disputed.

 I do like an optimist...




A Blighty tourist was bitten "down under" by a killer snake while answering a call of nature in the bush.
The reptile sunk its fangs into Jackson Scott's testicle as he squatted in the dark.
Jackson, 29, of Glasgow, said: "I went into the garden at four in the morning after a night in the pub to save flushing the toilet because water is precious in the outback.
"Just as I finished and was about to tuck everything safely away, it bit me. I had my pants around my knees when I hobbled into Roddy's bedroom. My heart was racing and I was hallucinating.
But when he begged best mate Roddy Andrews to suck the venom out, his pal refused, reports The Sun.
Instead he drove Jackson on a 40-minute life-or-death dash to Hobart where doctors gave him an antidote to the deadly tiger snake poison.


One way to find out whom one's friends are...



Allegedly Calcutta will be painted blue, a local minister has said.
Government buildings, flyovers, roadside railings, and taxis are going to be painted in light blue colour, a minister in the ruling Trinamul Congress government said.
Owners of private buildings will be also be requested to paint them in the same colour, the minister said.
The capital of West Bengal, Calcutta is home to over 14 million people.
"Our leader [chief minister of West Bengal] Mamata Banerjee has decided that the theme colour of the city will be sky blue because the motto of the new government is 'the sky is the limit'," Urban Development Minister Firhad Hakim told The Indian Express newspaper.


Says a lot doesn’t he....


And finally:



Back in the days when men were men and bras remained un-burnt, MI5 investigated whether Charlie Chaplin was actually a Frenchman called Israel Thornstein, previously secret files on the Hollywood film star have revealed.
Intelligence officers could find no trace of the actor's birth in Britain despite Chaplin always claiming he was born in London in 1889.
The mystery surrounding his origins emerged when the US authorities asked MI5 to look into the comic actor's background after he left America in 1952 under a cloud of suspicion over his communist links.
But British officers could find no birth certificate and the earliest official record was a passport issued in 1920.
They investigated suggestions he was born in Fontainebleau, near Paris, or nearby Melun, while the Americans claimed his real name was Israel Thornstein and raised the idea he may have been a Russian Jew.
Despite extensive searches, MI5 could find no evidence of any of the claims leaving his true origins a mystery to this day.


A funny Frenchman..........Nah...





And today’s thought:




Angus

Thursday 16 February 2012

Fig-ure this: Dept of tax avoidance: You are what you eat: The knobs on the bus: Time to slow down: and the Dunollie Castle de-daws.


Sort of non atmospheric conditions at the Castle this morn-warmish, calm and dry with an iota of opaque wet stuff in the air, orf to Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run and I spent a couple of hours at my lovely young ladies (who trims my locks) house sorting out her computers yestermorn, nice to feel useful again...



In the atrium of the £235 million portcullis house stand twelve weeping fig trees, they were rented from Plant Care UK for £32,500 a year, including maintenance and have so far cost us £400,000 in total.
 

Are they taking the piss or what....?




Allegedly more than 25 senior Department of Health officials, some earning more than £250,000 a year, have had their salaries paid to limited companies, enabling them to reduce their tax bill, it has emerged.
Despite many of them being employed by the department for a number of years and in “very senior positions”, officials denied they were “civil servants".
The “problem” emerged when Ed Lester, the chief executive of the Student Loans Company, was able to avoid tens of thousands of pounds in income tax by having £182,000 a year paid to his private company.
According to leaked internal documents, the health staff earned almost £4.2 million in one year for their work with the department.
One contractor is said to have earned £273,375, while a further 19 officials were paid more than £100,000.
The majority of the “limited companies” are registered as business and management consultancies.
One Whitehall source said: “We cannot defend these arrangements, but it may be it is very common in Whitehall and this is just the tip of an iceberg.”
A “full audit” is now being conducted by the Treasury into the arrangements.


Don’t hold your breath...”all in this together”.




One Las Vegas man has painfully discovered that what you eat can have a big impact on your health.
The man was dining on a "triple bypass burger" in the The Heart Attack Grill in downtown Las Vegas when he suffered an apparent heart attack.
According to ‘Nurse’ Bridgett who was working at the restaurant when the man in his 40s began experiencing chest pains "He was having the sweats and shaking,"
The restaurant is known for not holding back on the food it serves. Signs around the business glorify bad eating habits and the menu includes items like Flatliner Fries, and Butterfat Milkshakes.
The "quadruple bypass burger" can easily exceed 8,000 calories.


Karma...my what big burgers that young lady has...



A Route 815 public bus near the Beijing Guomao area was jam-packed. With the bus doors blocked by passengers, some passengers struggled to climb into the bus through the windows.
A traffic officer on the side tried to keep order without effect, and could only help stuff the passengers one by one into the bus. 15 minutes later, this severely overloaded Route 815 public bus finally set off.


Reminds me of my commuting to London days…



Greg Smith noticed an unusual school zone speed sign in White Lake about three weeks ago.

“You practically have to come to a stop to read it,” said Smith, who lives nearby.

The sign lists six different times when drivers need to slow from 45 mph to 25 mph on about a mile of Bogie Lake Road near three schools.

“I’m thinking of printing out the speeds and attaching it to my dashboard.”

The sign — installed Jan. 12 — tells drivers that on school days, they need to slow down to 25 between 6:49-7:15, 7:52-8:22 and 8:37-9:07 during the mornings and 2:03-2:33, 3:04-3:34 and 3:59-4:29 during afternoons.


Bogie Lake Road: no it’s snot a joke....


And finally:



One of Scotland’s most romantic and historic ruins is to undergo a £1 million restoration programme – without disturbing the residents.
Dunollie Castle, which sits on a rocky crag above Oban Bay, is the iconic spot where the kings of Dalriada ruled the Western Isles in the seventh and eighth centuries and which later became a Clan MacDougall stronghold.
It is now home to an unusual colony of European cave spiders, which have made their nest in an opening in the eight-foot thick medieval castle walls.
The MacDougall of Dunollie Preservation Trust says its £1.1 million project to save Dunollie from the elements and the ravages of recent vandalism will make sure that the spider colony is protected.
Project director Catherine Gillies said: “We are going to have an ecologist with us and we need to decide what we do about our cave spiders. They are one of the largest spiders in the UK and are living inside a window opening, in the seven to eight feet thick castle walls. We hope we can leave them in peace.”
European cave spiders are shiny satin black to reddish brown in colour with adults reaching roughly a five centimetre leg span and 15 millimetre body length. They usually live in caves and tunnels away from the light.


Not in this Castle they won’t...





And today’s thought:



Angus


Wednesday 15 February 2012

PAYG-NHS: Lording it over welfare: Kiviak: Texas motor massacre: Wood burning Volvo: and an “amphibious” house.


Gale is having a bit of a howl and dawn’s crack is nowhere in sight at the Castle this morn, the liquid metal in the gauge is slowly moving vertically and I have this urge to hang some onions around my neck and get on a bike.



Patients will have to pay for treatment that is currently free on the NHS under the Government's health bill.
Allyson Pollock, professor of public health at Barts and The London School of Medicine and Dentistry, said the Health and Social Care Bill had "a hidden purpose" which amounted to privatising health services in Britain.
Writing in The Lancet, she argued that ministers were intent on creating "a system that permits alternative funding sources for services currently provided free as part of the NHS".
She said the "heart" of the Bill, currently being debated in the Lords, was "to introduce a mixed financing system and to abolish the model of tax-financed universal health care on which the NHS is based".
Prof Pollock has consistently argued that the Bill will abolish the duty of the Health Secretary to provide a universal healthcare system free at the point of use.
It will potentially enable groups of GPs, who will be allowed to make profits from their practices, to exclude costly patients with numerous illnesses.
Their analysis - shared by many other opponents of the Bill - is fiercely disputed by ministers and supporters of the Bill who dismiss it as scaremongering.
The Prime Minister and Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary, have both repeatedly insisted that the NHS will remain free to patients at the point of the delivery.


Print out the last sentence and keep it somewhere safe....




Has kicked yet another Piss Poor Policy into touch-for a while...
Peers backed by 10 votes an amendment to the Welfare Reform Bill, overturning a move to cut payments to specific council tenants with one spare bedroom.
Ministers have already had to reverse several defeats over their proposals, which include capping benefits at £26,000 a year per household.
They want the bill, which is back in the Lords after being approved by the Commons, to enter into law soon.


Still not listening then Dave...



Kiviak is a traditional winter foodstuff consumed by Greenlandic Intuits’.
To prepare this delicacy you will need one seal carcase and 400 Auks, then stuff said dead Auks complete with feet, beaks fathers and all into the hollowed out seal carcase, press all the air out of it  and bury it under a large rock pile for approximately 3-18 months.
When you are really, really hungry dig it up and eat it-preferable a long way from other Intuits’.



Num, num, num...




Around 250,000 spectators gathered in Houston, to see over 300 wacky and crazy vehicles drive by, on May 8th. Dan Akroyd, star of “Ghost Busters” movies, as well as other famous comedies, was the one who kick-started the flamboyant event, in the cheers of the crowd.



Allegedly the Houston Art Car Parade brings together car enthusiasts and artists alike, featuring a selection of extremely modified cars that, despite all the adornments, still run beautifully.



Oh dear....




After the heater in his Volvo stopped working Pascal Prokop, who lives in Switzerland, caused a minor internet stir when photos of his stove-car near Mettmenstetten, a town 25 kilometres south of Zurich, began to circulate on Friday.
Prokop needed to get permissions from the Swiss Technical Inspection Authority to be able to drive it on the streets.
The car is now officially registered as a “Sedan with a wood oven.


With a nut behind the wheel…



And finally:




Architects have been granted permission to build Britain’s first amphibious house, the property is designed to be flood-proof as its pioneering design allows it to float on the surface when water levels rise.
The timber-framed three-bedroom property, due for completion this year, rests on a concrete hull to create a free-floating pontoon set in a dock made of four guideposts to keep it in place.
In the event of the river bursting its banks, the water pressure will unlock the home from the dock and allow it to float up to the water level.
The garden will also act as a natural early warning flood system, with terraces set at different levels designed to flood incrementally and alert the occupants well before the water reaches a threatening level.
With an estimated value of £1.5 million, it will cost around 25 per cent more to build than a conventional similar-sized home, but there should be major savings on insurance costs.


Wouldn’t just be easier and cheaper to build it on stilts?




And today’s thought:

Bottoms up





Angus

Tuesday 14 February 2012

Another fine mess: Moody credit: Pickled squid: Swanning around: Real woodentops: No-no pussy: and Dogs are pants.


No deep, crisp or even at the castle this morn-the rain has washed it all away, the liquid metal in the gauge has begun its rise to the top, his Maj has decided that he would rather do his business in his litter tray than in the garden to keep his paws dry and the butler has taken a few well earned days rest.

The fallic glu is still hanging around-I have this urge to go on strike and then apply for the Presidential job...


And allegedly fraudulent insurance claims are pushing up our premiums

The economic climate is causing a rise in the number of exaggerated insurance claims, a survey suggests.

In the survey, 9% of people who said they had made a claim in the last five years said they had exaggerated it, typically adding £607 to the claim.


Earlier this year, the House of Commons Transport Select Committee said car insurance costs could be substantially reduced if claimants were made to provide more proof that they had suffered whiplash injuries.

Over the last six years, despite a 23% fall in the number of casualties caused by road accidents, there has been a 70% rise in motor insurance injury claims in the past six years, with the vast majority of them being claims of whiplash injury.


Maybe they should change the criteria for whiplash-if you are admitted to 'Orspital in such a position that you can see your own arsehole then that's a yes....


The Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) fined Croydon Council in south London £100,000 after papers containing details of a child sex abuse victim were stolen from a pub.
Norfolk County Council was also fined £80,000 for sending details about allegations against a parent and the welfare of their child to the wrong person, taking the total amount of fines handed out by the ICO to more than £1 million.


Their “bad”, but it isn’t the councils that have to pay up, it’s the council tax payers, how about making the knobs at the top personally responsible...




Has put the UK on negative outlook, meaning it thinks there is more chance the economy may lose its triple A status.
Moody’s have also “graded” France and Austria, who also share a top triple A rating, and Spain and Portugal's ratings have been lowered.
The negative outlook for the UK means Moody's think there is a 30% chance of a downgrade within 18 months.


No real surprise there, but since when did a private company in another country get to decide what will happen to Blighty?




Archie is entombed in a custom-made acrylic tank filled with a 10% solution of formol-saline; the giant squid at the centre of the London Natural History Museum Spirit Collection was caught off the coast of the Falkland Islands in March 2004.
The 8.62 meter long creature is an Architeuthis dux, or giant squid, and known at the museum as "Archie." Although enormous, the giant squid is not actually the largest of the feared semi-mythical undersea ship eaters: that position of honour is reserved for the colossal squid, or Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni.
The Spirit Collection at the London Natural History Museum holds about 22 million preserved zoological specimens, including the original collections of Sir Hans Sloane, an adventurous 18th century traveller and collector, who also is known for having introduced the drinking of chocolate milk to Europe. His collection alone numbered some 80,000 items. The new Darwin Centre opened in September 2009.



No wonder life on earth is becoming extinct.




The East Sussex Wildlife Rescue and Ambulance Service received 27 reports of a "frozen swan" sitting for hours in the icy Pells Pond in Lewes and were obliged to visit the bird each time the alarm was raised.
The charity's founder, Trevor Weeks, thanked onlookers for their concern but said that the bird is actually keeping warm, The Brighton Argus reported.
"Every time we have attended, the swan has not been stuck," he said.
Most calls reported that the swan had a leg stuck in the ice, when it was actually tucked under its feathers to keep warm.


I’ve been to Lewes-no wonder the poor thing is bored out of its mind....




A man with a real talent:

Bruno Walpoth
Bressanone, Italy, 1959
1973 − 1978 sculptor's apprenticeship with Vincenzo Mussner - Ortisei
1978 − 1984 academy "Der Bildende Künste" in Munich, with Prof. Hans Ladner
1985 − 2008 teacher at the vocational school for sculptors in Selva Val Gardena
1996 foundation of the sculptor's group "Trisma"
with Willy Verginer and Walter Moroder
Since 2000 member of the "Südtiroler Künstlerbund"




Boffins at Goggle have used a complex algorithm and their computing power to discover what we already knew… a video of a cat saying 'no' is funny.

Researchers looked at the comments on videos to determine whether viewers had found them funny and identified candidates for YouTube’s Comedy Slam.

Google Researcher Sanketh Shetty, said: "We computed more text features based on words associated with amusement in comments.

"These included (a) sounds associated with laughter such as hahaha, with culture-dependent variants such as hehehe, jajaja, kekeke, (b) web acronyms such as lol, lmao, rofl, (c) funny and synonyms of funny, and (d) emoticons such as :), ;-), xP."

Members of the public were then asked to vote on the Comedy Slam where No No No No Cat received the most votes.


Thank what’s his/her name for algorithms...mind you it is funny.


And finally:




A dog walker was photographed slowly edging his way across the frozen River Stour in the village of Dedham, Essex, to save his pet.
However, he ended up having to swim to safety after the ice suddenly gave way and the man fell in to the freezing water 30ft from the bank.
He managed to haul his small terrier-type dog onto the ice before clambering back to dry land.


Still at least he is reinforcing my opinion of said dwellers...




And today’s thought;



Angus