Oh Dear!: Pussy security: Wight wants TT: Chenango Chobani Yogurt: Windy motor: and a Lambo lunatic.

Sunny, dry, calm and more than a whimsy cold at the Castle this morn, the butler is not happy because he is back stuffing fat carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace, his Maj has got the hump because the sun hasn’t reached his favourite bit of the grounds where he rolls in the dust, and I am a bit miffed because the windows need cleaning and today has the perfect weather to do it.

According to the Torygraph

The “leader” of the Piss Poor policies Millionaires Club Coalition is considering ordering billions of pounds in extra welfare cuts proposed in a confidential Downing Street policy paper.

The savings will be made from cutting back benefits for people of working age.

The plans include a new crackdown on housing benefit and a “mark two” system of universal credit to help push people off benefits back into full-time, rather than part-time, work. There are also understood to be a range of measures to encourage more women, particularly single mothers, to return to work.

 The author of this future roll of toilet paper Steve Hilton who has buggered orf to California for a while reckons that that another £25 billion can be cut from the welfare budget.

A Downing Street source said: “There is some really radical thinking going on around welfare, which is the most successful area of government policy so far. Why should people only work part time? Why are young people who are out of work not living at home? Why are we incentivising people to have more children?

California dreaming Hilton is regarded as a “blue sky thinker” whose radical and ambitious ideas have infuriated civil servants. Although some of his proposals have been dismissed as too radical and unrealistic, his plans for welfare reform are understood to be highly respected by the Prime Minister.

 

Oh dear.....

Right a lot and dahn a fair way

A South African businessman has got himself some extra protection - a Bengal tiger called Enzo.

The 330lb big cat lives with owner Michael Jamison and his girlfriend Jackie at their home in Brakpan.

They had always wanted a pet tiger - but decided to get one after twice being targeted by armed robbers.

"I feel much safer with Enzo in the house than without him," said Mr Jamison. "I wanted a tiger and then I got one."

One-year-old Enzo is actually a big baby who sleeps with Mr Jamison in his bed, has a cat box and enjoys eating on the kitchen counter.

He gets bottle-fed twice a day as well as consuming around 4kg of meat. He eats rice with chicken or mince alongside the couple's three dogs, with which he is apparently good friends.

My-that is a lot of pussy to have in your bed.....

Back in plan A Blighty-sort of

Motorcycle enthusiasts have started a campaign to bring TT-style road races to the Isle of Wight.

The proposal is to create an event similar to the TT "tourist trophy" races run on the Isle of Man.

The annual Manx festival attracted 37,000 visitors and generated £20m of income this year.

Campaigner Kara Rann said: "When you see the passion and enthusiasm, it's something the Isle of Wight is missing out on and it would certainly benefit".

A Facebook page set up by the campaign attracted 425 supporters in 36 hours.

The group has identified possible race routes which "avoid any villages" and plans to approach the council for backing for the idea.

Bit dodgy-have you seen the state of the roads on the Needles isle?

Left to the home of the Semi and the land of no corners

Along Interstate 88 westbound Monday night, just after 10:30 p.m., Broome County Sheriff's Deputies say a tractor trailer hauling Chobani Yogurt got on the ramp to Interstate 81 too fast. When it rounded a curve, the trailer slid over the embankment and spilled 36,000 pounds of yogurt on the shoulder and down the hillside.

The driver--Oleksandr Brychka, 24, of Lincoln, Nebraska--was able to get out of the cab on his own.

Although it was raining, deputies believe weather was not a factor.

The driver was ticketed with failure to reduce speed and improper lane use.

And for thinking he was Jensen Button...still that will help out the Greek problem a bit.

East more than many, many imperial units

In a small tractor workshop, 55-year-old farmer Tang Zhenping has invented the prototype of a car that he believes could revolutionise China's auto industry.

Mr Tang's model - built in just three months for around £1,000 - is electric.

Its engine uses scrap parts from a motorcycle and an electric scooter, while its steering wheel, upholstery and headlights all come from a Chinese-made Xiali hatchback.

And on the front is a turbine which springs into action at 40mph and produces pollution-free power.

The model has a top speed of 70mph.

The farmer says he dreamed of building an electric car for three decades, but was unable to interest government officials or private investors.

He now hopes car manufacturers will take an interest in his prototype.

"I'm not doing this just for the money," he told Sky News.

"I dream of seeing my car being driven on highways. I want to serve the people."

Ever tried to get to forty in a built up area?

And finally:

Back over to the home of the auto and the land of the rear exit

In the suburbs of Chicago a Lamborghini driver speeds away from the lights before losing control of his vehicle and ending up wedged between two cars.

The accident was filmed by people in the car behind who had started recording when the supercar pulled in front of them at a set of traffic lights.

The driver of the bright yellow Lamborghini Gallardo attempts to turn left at speed before losing control and shooting across the highway into oncoming traffic.

Luckily cars had slowed for the lights and instead of a head on collision the Lamborghini ended up wedged between two oncoming vehicles.

 

Oh dear what a shame.....

That’s it: I’m orf to sniff a robot.

And today’s thought:

Rear exit TT.

Angus

No fuel like cheap fuel: What austerity?: Das Numptys: Over the radioactive limit: Nail house: and a Magnetic iPod holder.

Back to “normal” at the Castle this morn-chucking it dahn, cold, windy and not very clement, the arm is not too bad and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from behind the shower curtain.

 

Allegedly German owned E.ON is going to peg prices for 2012

E.ON's pledge came after British Gas owner Centrica last week signalled that further price hikes were on the way as its costs continued to mount.

The German utility giant confirmed that wholesale energy costs are expected to climb but said it will freeze prices for the rest of 2012 as part of a commitment to be fair and transparent.

Dr Tony Cocker, chief executive of E.ON UK, said: "Let me be clear - E.ON will not raise residential prices in 2012.

"Earlier this year we cut our prices in a way that helped some 75% of our customers and I hope that the certainty we've given today will show our customers again that we are committed to helping them."

 

 But: the snag is while prices will not rise during the “warm bit-har bloody har” E.ON may raise prices at the start of 2013, potentially meaning customers could face higher costs for some of the coldest winter months.

Nice....

 

And according to Tullett Prebon.

Blighty’s austerity programme is a “myth” designed to “con” the financial markets, and that “public expenditures have hardly been reduced at all” and that claims of a “big cut in public spending is bare-faced deception”.

Figures highlighted by the firm show that public spending actually rose during 2010-11 and fell by just 1.5 percent last year.

Government spending is more than £22 billion higher than it was in 2008 when the financial crisis erupted.

The majority of extra money required by ministers to fill the black hole in the finances caused by the recession is being raised from extra taxes rather than cuts in Government spending.

Dr Tim Morgan, the global head of research at Tullett Prebon, said: “It’s high time that this mendacity was exposed for what it is. Government has done very little about its spending, has appropriated three-quarters of all gains in economic output for its own use, has carried on piling up debt – and has tried to pass all this off as 'responsible austerity’.

Well, that’s told us....

 

Right a smidge to the land where austerity seems to be working

A German police force that spent €25 million on new sporty cars found that not only was the visibility rubbish for chases - the fancy seats were so narrow the cops could not get in while wearing their guns, truncheons and other equipment.

The Hesse Interior Ministry ordered 800 of the swish new models – Opel's Insignia Sports Tourer – in a long-term deal at the end of 2010. The ministry says that 200 of the cars have been delivered so far, but it is yet to be decided whether the order will be completed.

The limited view through the back window was also a major problem for the police, said Hölzgen. "I need to see out of the back every minute, every second," he said. "That's a safety matter for us."

The ministry insisted that the car had been tested prior to the order. "The results did not point to any lack of suitability for police service," a ministry spokeswoman told regional broadcaster HR. She added that the ministry was aware of the problem.

Vorsprung Durch Bollocks-mind you even I have a problem getting my truncheon in the Honda....

Left to the home of the detector and the land of the isotope

Last Wednesday, Mike Apatow was getting on to Interstate 84 in Newtown, CT, when police stopped him for no reason he could determine. When the cop told him that his car had set off his radioactivity detectors, it started making sense: Apatow was most certainly radioactive.

Earlier in the day, Apatow had had a bit of radioactive material injected into his veins. He wasn't trying to turn himself into a superhero—just trying to keep himself alive. The off-duty fire-fighter had gone to a cardiology office to have a cardiac stress test, which tracks the function of the heart by tracking radioactivity as it moves through the circulatory system.

Apatow had come to the office after feeling ill earlier and finding that his blood pressure had gone up way above where it was usually. Whatever caused the blip went away quickly, and Apatow went back to work, as recounted at ctpost.com.

Good job they don’t have moron detectors around the palace of Westminster, the sound would be deafening.

 

East to the place where houses are cheap

One stubborn elderly couple created the ultimate road block after refusing to move out of their home to allow a new major motorway route to be built.

Developers were pulling their hair out after 75-year-old Hong Chunqin and her husband Kung refused to make way for developers in Taizhou, Zhejiang province, eastern China.

After initially accepting £8,000 in compensation to relocate, the couple then backtracked on their decision and insisted they weren't going anywhere - after construction was underway.

Dubbed the 'Road to Nowhere', Mr and Mrs Chunqin's house can now be seen blocking the completion of the newly-built road, with just a tiny dirt track linking the two separate stretches.

Similar homes have been labelled Nail Houses in China, following a series of disputes across the country. The reference comes from a stubborn nail that is difficult to remove.

Developers have been accused of using dirty tactics to evict tenants, cutting one homeowner's power and, in one famous case, excavating a 10-metre deep pit around an entire house.

However the Chunqin family, who argue they should be given the choice of where they are relocated to, have installed CCTV cameras to stop a similar scenario from happening.

Hang in there guys.....

And finally:

Back over to the home of body piercing and the land of inexorable Numptyism

A tattoo artist has invented a bizarre way to stay with his beloved iPod at all times – having surgery to implant magnets under his skin.

Instead of wearing a wristband, four small powerful magnets under the body piercing expert’s skin helps the Apple device stay in place, just like a strapless watch.

My brain hurts......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to buy a flying car.

And today’s thought:

What austerity.

 Angus

Don’t panic!-go juice abounds: Horsing around with Her Maj: Wotta Leica money: Having a MONA Dahn Unda (and dahn a bit more): 250 year old sarnie: and Pussy with your lunch.

Cold, cloudy and much movement of air at the Castle this morn, bit tardy this Monday-woke up late, just got back from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, the Castle grounds are up to scratch and I am knackered-ain’t gardening fun......

Panic not, the go juice deliverers have decided not to go on strike (just)

Unite said its members working for seven distribution firms backed the deal by 51% overall, although drivers in four of the companies voted to reject.

Unite assistant general secretary Diana Holland said: "This narrow vote in favour lifts the threat of strike action, but leaves the companies with no room for complacency. We look forward to the rapid implementation of the Acas proposals which include an industry-wide 'passport'.

"The progress made through negotiation is testament to the brave stance members have taken in the face of growing insecurity and attacks on their profession.  

Along with the other 20 odd million workers who don’t earn fifty grand a year and sit on their arses most of the day....

Up a bit from the Castle to another Castle

Apparently 550 horses and 1,000 dancers and musicians from around the world have performed over four nights for her Maj, a well-known horse lover.

Among the stars at the event, staged inside the private grounds of Windsor Castle, were actress Helen Mirren, singer Susan Boyle and Australian entertainer Rolf Harris.

Celebrating more than 250 Commonwealth and state visits the Queen has made during her reign, the show travelled across the globe, with performances from a Maori troupe from New Zealand to Middle Eastern stunt riders.

The Queen was accompanied by Prince Philip and other members of the royal family including the Duke of York, Princess Beatrice, Prince and Princess Michael of Kent, Princess Alexandra and the Duchess of Cornwall.

Wonder how the latter did in the show jumping? And who her rider was....

Right a smidge to the land which didn’t invade the rest of Europe

A prototype Leica camera has sold for 2.16m Euros (£1.74m), setting a new world record.

It was one of just 25 models created in 1923 as a prototype for the groundbreaking Leica A, which was the first commercially successful compact camera to use 35mm film.

Branded the "null-serie", or 0-Series, only 12 are known to have survived.

The camera was bought by an anonymous bidder at the Galerie Westlicht in Vienna, Austria.

Saturday's bidding started at 300,000 Euros, with an estimate of 600,000 Euros.

But by the time the hammer fell, the bids had escalated to 1.8m Euros. The remainder of the sale price included taxes and fees.

 Wonder how much my old dad’s brownie is worth?

Dahn Unda and Dahn a bit more

Lurks the Museum of Old and New Art (MONA) is located in Tasmania and features around 400 works of art from Egyptian mummies to Young British Artists including Chris Ofili and Jenny Saville.

But allegedly the most talked-about piece is the Cloaca Professional, labelled the "poo-machine." It was built by Belgian artist Wim Delvoye to mimic the actions of the human digestive system.

A series of glass receptacles hang in a row with the machine being "fed" twice a day on one end. The food is ground up "naturally," the way it is in the human body, and the device produces faeces on the clock at 2 pm at the other end.

The smell is so powerful that not many visitors can take it.

The Cloaca is part of a series of at least five similar machines built by the artist, another of which will soon be exhibited at the Louvre. It is the most hated piece in the museum but also the most visited.

The museum, which opened in January 2011, is owned by eccentric and philanthropist David Walsh, who made his fortune as a professional gambler, and features one of the largest private art collections in the world with an estimated value of around a$100 million.

Another much-talked-about piece is the Matrix by Jenny Saville, a full-frontal large painting of a naked transgender man with his modified genitals exposed.

The museum charges A$20 ($20) for entry and has drawn around 389,000 visitors in its first year ($1 = 0.9887 Australian dollars).

 

Sounds like a fun place.....not....

Back in curly edged Blighty

Right a bit from ‘Ampshire the town of Sandwich is staging a re-enactment of the moment when the town's earl was said to have invented the sandwich, to mark the 250th anniversary of the bread-based meal.

Dressed in 18th-century costume, actors today will recreate the night when John Montagu, the fourth Earl of Sandwich - a keen card-player - "called for a slice of beef between two toasted pieces of bread so that he could carry on gaming uninterrupted", says a website for the event.

Legend states that others began asking for "the same as Sandwich" and thus named what was to become a classic foodstuff.

The south-eastern English port town is also holding a sandwich-making competition and concerts of the bawdy and lively tunes favoured by the earl, who also had a penchant for dressing in Turkish robes.

The current earl will host a huge sandwich lunch in tribute to "the fourth earl of Sandwich who, 250 years ago, had his masterly inspiration in creating the universal fast food the world knows and loves", a poster says. 

And luckily you can still get an original 1762 sanger on the chuff chuffs...

And finally:

Right a bit to the place where Waltz’s are the thing (again)

Austria's first cat cafe, where customers can have drinks while playing with cats, opens in Vienna.

The Cafe Neko ("Neko" meaning "cat" in Japanese) opened earlier this month in the city centre.

Customers can stroke and interact with the cafe's five feline hosts, named Sonja, Thomas, Moritz, Luca and Momo, who all came from an animal shelter and now freely roam about the cafe and take naps.

The cafe was opened by Vienna resident Takako Ishimitsu, a 47-year-old woman originally from Nagoya, Japan, who moved to Vienna some 20 years ago. She had to spend three years negotiating with city officials over hygiene issues for the cafe to be allowed to open.

Ishimitsu said she decided to open a cat cafe in order to introduce some aspects of Japanese culture to Vienna.  

Nice, I do like a bit of pussy while I am eating...

  

That’s it: I’m orf to refill my prescription-just in case

And today’s thought:

Just sold my old camera.

Angus

Greening- wood for the Chuff-chuff: Can Parent: Crabs in Nanjing: Sod that!: Dead lucky: and Relaxing Fountains (not).

Sunny, dry, cold and calm for the number after one time at the Castle this morn, I managed to mow the lawn, trim the hedges and have a nice bout of vandalism in the garden yesterday.

The Castle fences have gorn green-not in the Eco sense, or the aesthetic sense but in the daft old fart sense. I purchased some stuff from Wickes to treat said fences, and upon returning discovered that instead of “brahn” it was a nice shade of ‘Sherwood green’ because I picked up the wrong “tin”.

And because I couldn’t be arsed to travel the seven miles there and back in Saturday traffic and the fences were already green with moss decided to use it anyway-doesn’t look too bad...

It seems that the talentless Piss Poor Policy Millionaires Club Coalition has rubbed orf on the rest of buggered up Blighty because the winner of “Britain’s got talent’ is a bleedin dog, and yes he is cute and clever but come on...is that the best we can do?

And yet another PPPMCC(see above) “idea”

Is to give £100 vouchers for parenting classes in an attempt to stem the breakdown of family discipline blamed by ministers for last year's riots.

The free vouchers will be distributed through Boots, the high street chemist, as part of a strategy to ensure as wide a take-up as possible, according to The Mail on Sunday.

The scheme - known as Can Parent - is said to be the brainchild of David Cameron's strategy adviser Steve Hilton, who is leaving No 10 for a year as a lecturer in California.

The Department for Education, which will oversee the scheme, confirmed that an announcement was imminent. "We want all families to be able to easily access excellent information on parenting. We will be making an announcement about this next week," a spokeswoman said.

Under the plan parents will be entitled to up to 10 two-hour sessions of advice on how best to bring up their children.

Parents will be able to use the vouchers to buy lessons from independent organisations such as the National Childcare Trust.

As someone once said “I’d take them out and shoot them in front of their families”-the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition not the parents who should be put in the stocks and pelted with healthy food....

And talking of Piss Poor ideas

According to face like a bag of spanners Justine Greening our beloved Transport Secretary the best way to protect ancient woodland threatened by her overly expensive and unnecessary “High Speed chuff chuff” is to move it somewhere else-the ancient woodland not the “high Speed chuff chuff”.

 The brain dead high speed chuff chuff boss made her suggestion in a letter to a fellow Tory MP seeking to calm anxious constituents. “Your constituents raise concerns about potential impacts on ancient woodlands,” Miss Greening told Cheryl Gillan, the Welsh Secretary who is also MP for Chesham, in Buckinghamshire.

“The Environmental Impact Assessment process will identify in detail the scope of any impacts and offer appropriate mitigation solutions, for example transplanting woodland to an adjacent site or using narrower cuttings.”

Ye fucking Gods, where do “they” get these people?

East to the land of the last Olympics

If you live in Nanjing, China, you can get a crab from a vending machine then go home and cook the fresh hairy crab to your desired taste.

The crabs are priced from US$1.50 to US$8, depending on the size. You can even buy a bottle of vinegar to spice up your crab, for only US$0.80.

The vending machine is kept at a constant temperature of 5-10 degrees Celsius to make sure that the crabs are in a constant state of hibernation. They are also packed in custom-shaped plastic packages.

A customer who has tried the crabs said, “Two days ago, I was passing by, and saw that they were cheaper than at the markets. I was curious, so I got two. They tasted all right, so I’m back today for more.”

Tasty-Just don’t put them in a nice warm pocket....

Dahn Unda

As a frequent visitor to the beaches and wild rainforests of Cape York, kite surfer Ant Hadleigh thought he had seen it all.

But the Cairns man was in disbelief after witnessing a golden orb spider slowly eating a brown tree snake at a mate's place in Freshwater yesterday afternoon.

"A few times the snake managed to get up and attack the spider, and the spider would run back up the web.

"I would have put my money on the snake for sure, especially seeing how big it was."

Mr Hadleigh estimated the tree snake to be around half a metre long and was alive for "an hour or more" after being caught in the spider's web, before finally succumbing to the crafty arachnid's venom.

Rolled up newspaper time...

 

Up to the land of big stone blocks piled on top of each other

The funeral of a 28 year-old waiter in southern Egypt turned into a celebration when he woke up after being declared dead.

Hospital officials had pronounced dead Hamdi Hafez al-Nubi, who came from the village of Naga al-Simman in the southern province of Luxor, after he suffered a heart attack while working.

His family says grieving relatives took him home and, according to Islamic tradition, washed his body and prepared him for burial Friday evening.

A doctor sent to sign the death certificate found it strange that his body was warm. At closer observation she discovered he was still alive.

His mother fainted upon hearing the good news.

Bet some poo came out....

And finally: 

All over the place

Some snaps of not very relaxing fountains-apart from the last one.

That’s it: I’m orf to get a new sonic weapon “loud hailer”

And today’s thought:

 NHS population control.

Angus

Taking: Giving and taking: Whaffing calorie free choccy: Far-arri from the real thing: Photo-origami: and Monking around in Sarf Korea.

Sunny, cold and calm at the Castle this morn, I may try to mow the lawn later-if it has dried out enough and in preparation I have moved the bench to the ‘shady corner’, it looks so good I think I will leave it there.

And his Maj has managed to destroy his cat flap (in the back door not his rear exit), so I had to go dahn the town to purchase a new one, and while there popped into the “sorting office”, paid the ransom on my fence staples and came home more than a few squids lighter.

Allegedly the HMRC has done it again

Because of errors about 1.6 million people will start receiving demands within the next two weeks for an average £537 shortfall in the tax they paid last year, HM Revenue and Customs warned yesterday.

Meanwhile a further 3.5 million will be sent a rebate for the 2011-12 tax year, averaging £379.

If the figures are correct for the tax year which ended on 5 April, then Britons overpaid more than £1.3bn in tax for the year. Meanwhile, HMRC's miscalculations means it will be forced to claw back more than £849m from unsuspecting taxpayers.

Think they need a new abacus....

And according to the Irritable Bowel twins

Apparently Millions of mothers who have chosen to take time out of work will no longer be penalised once they are pensioners, Iain Duncan Smith, the Work and Pensions Secretary, has announced.

However, the overhaul is expected to hit wealthier workers, as the state second pension will be scrapped.

At the moment, people who do not work for 30 years do not qualify for the full basic state pension. Under the reforms, mothers and carers will be treated as if they had worked throughout their lives, benefiting them by £2,000 a year.

Mr Duncan Smith said women would be the "major winners" in the reformed system, which will mean that everyone who works or looks after others will receive a flat-rate payment worth at least £140 a week.

The measure will be applied to women who retire from 2015, giving an average of £40 extra a week to mothers who took time out of work. Currently, they receive a reduced entitlement for each year out of employment.

Chuffin wonderful-but it won’t save the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition in a couple of years...

Left to the land of the large and the home of the candy

Biomechanical engineer David Edwards has launched AeroShot Chocolate, an inhaler which provides the taste of chocolate in breathable form.

Using a small lipstick-sized tube, consumers draw fine particles of chocolate into their mouth to experience the taste of pure chocolate "re-imagined".

Aeroshot Chocolate follows the release of caffeine product AeroShot Energy earlier this year which used the same patented delivery system to administer a dose of breathable caffeine.

The product taps into the new-age food trend of "whaffing" or inhalable eating.

Edwards says the product works because the particles are small enough to enter the mouth and too large to go beyond it.

"The chocolate melts immediately upon landing in your mouth," the Harvard University biomedical engineering professor said. "Since the particles are so small and uniformly dispersed by the air, the taste is immediate, too.

The product is available in three dark chocolate flavours: pure chocolate, mint chocolate, and cherry chocolate and is designed to accompany a coffee, curb an afternoon craving or be consumed as a guilt-free dessert after a meal.

It is being launched this week at the Sweets and Snacks Expo in Chicago, Illinois and will be
available for consumers to purchase online from June 15 for US$2.99 ($2.97) per unit.



Cheaper to buy the real thing-sod the calories...

Dahn ere in ‘Ampshire

Chris Smart, 32 couldn't afford the classic Ferrari he'd always wanted - so he spent two weeks sketching and painting one on his garage door instead.

Married Chris, who studied art at college, said: "I hated the garage door before because it was really dull.

"I saw garage covers on the internet and wanted one unique to me. I have always loved this particular car and wanted to make it a bit of fun.

"People do have to do a double-take and they smile when they realise what it is. Lots of kids have been taking photographs."

The realistic three-dimensional scene also includes Harry Potter's broom, a KFC bargain bucket and a paint pot with Chris' name on it.

But the creative garage door hides a boring, standard garage, which contains tools, a push bike and boxes of junk.

Wife Kerry, 32, added: "Painting the car on the garage door is as close as he's ever likely to get to it unless we win the lottery."

Bless....

Left again to the big rock State

Researchers have demonstrated how to make origami using light of a specific wavelength.

They call the new folding technique photo-origami, and it could potentially be used as a way to manufacture 3D structures.

The team of mechanical engineers led by Professor Martin Dunn of the University of Colorado at Boulder has published a paper on their simulations and experiments of photo-origami in a recent issue of Applied Physics Letters.

Because photo-origami only uses light and a mechanical straining force to fold materials, it could potentially serve as a simple, automated sequential folding process. In their study, the researchers experimentally demonstrate how photo-origami works using a flat, two-dimensional polymer that contains photoinitiators. First, the polymer is stretched to create a mechanical strain. Then light is applied to a specific area of the polymer, such as along a line to be folded, which causes the photoinitiators to disassociate into free radicals. The highly reactive radicals then fragment and reform polymer chains, resulting in stress relaxation in the chosen area. This redistribution of stress through the material causes a change of shape as the material strives to achieve mechanical equilibrium, folding along the chosen line.

That process results in a single fold. For each additional fold, the irradiation, and potentially straining, steps are repeated. When the steps are performed in a specific sequence, the technique can produce complex shapes. To demonstrate, the researchers fabricated a heart and a six-sided closed box.

“In principle, this could make many complex structures consisting of bends and folds in arbitrary directions and sequences,” Dunn said. “The computational simulations can be used to design myriad structures, many that we could not conceive without simulations.”

As a form of technical origami, photo-origami could enable applications far beyond origami’s original purpose as a creative art. Technical origami can be used in situations in which an object must be stored and transported and later deployed for use. This need arises, for example, for space-based solar arrays, automobile airbags, tissue engineering, shopping cartons, and photovoltaic cells that optimally capture sunlight throughout the day. Origami could also be used to fold molecules into specific shapes for the purpose of tailoring their molecular properties.

Clever; but doesn’t it take all the fun out?

And finally:

Right a lot to the bit Sarf of Kim Jong (more than) Ill’s former domain

Six leaders from South Korea's biggest Buddhist order have quit after secret video footage showed some supposedly serene monks raising hell, playing high-stakes poker, drinking and smoking.

The scandal erupted just days before Koreans observe a national holiday to celebrate the birth of Buddha, the holiest day of the religion's calendar.

The head of the Jogye order, which has some 10 million followers, or about a fifth of the population, made a public apology on Friday, vowing "self-repentance".

South Korean TV networks aired shots of monks playing poker, some smoking and drinking, after gathering at a luxury lakeside hotel in late April for a fellow monk's memorial service.

"The stakes for 13 hours of gambling were more than 1 billion won ($875,300)," Seongho, a senior monk who uses one name, told Reuters on Friday.

He said he had reported the incident to prosecutors.

But at least they didn't kill anything....

That’s it: I’m orf to search the sandpit

And today’s thought:

Just relaxing.

Angus

Royal Mail fail: Job costs: Orbiting the Olympics: Bangers and Mash point (without the mash): Costa club: Fish bites cat: and want a Sea Shadow?

The big yellow thing has finally appeared at the Castle this morn, bit chilly with a whimsy of wind but it is DRY!-so far.

Yestermorn (just) a postcard dropped onto the mat inside the portcullis from the Royal Fail to inform me that apparently they couldn’t deliver something because the sender failed to pay the ransom by a whole 9p, and they want to charge me £1 for the privilege:

If I want to retrieve my goods I can -

Go to www.royalmail.com/fee2pay and pay

Put £1.09 worth of stamps on said ransom demand and stagger dahn to the post-box, and then wait another week.

Drive dahn to the ‘sorting office’, pay £1 to park and then hand over £1.09 in cash to the kidnappers.

 

Allegedly they will keep my goods which I own (a small pack of 20mm fence staples for the bamboo screen) for eighteen days and then post it back to the sender.

Is it me or has Blighty gone completely barmy? Click on the pic to read this load of old bollocks.

According to the National Audit Office

Each new job created by a flagship government scheme could cost taxpayers as much as £200,000.

The Regional Jobs Fund was designed to help businesses create private sector jobs in parts of the country with high levels of public sector employment.

But the National Audit Office (NAO) said value for money had not been "optimised".

The government has already made changes to improve the scheme, Business Secretary Vince Cable claimed.

The NAO examined the first £1.4bn awarded from the fund and found it could lead to an extra 41,000 jobs over the next seven years.

The average cost per job created was £33,000, but they said the cost could vary "from under £4,000 to over £200,000".

 

Another Piss Poor Policy from “our” coulda, woulda, shoulda Millionaires Club Coalition...

Up in the Smoke

The big red helter skelter has been opened, the completed steel sculpture - known as ArcelorMittal Orbit - stands at the heart of the Olympic Park.

It was designed by Turner Prize-winning artist Anish Kapoor and structural designer Cecil Balmond.

From the end of July, visitors will be able to climb on the £22.7m structure to take in panoramic views across London's skyline.

With a height of 114.5 metres (376ft), it is the tallest sculpture in the UK.

Visitors will be able to go up the 35-storey structure in a lift, and will have the option of walking down its spiralling staircase.

Steel company ArcelorMittal provided £19.2m towards the cost of building the Orbit, with the remaining £3.1m being funded by London Development Agency.

Oh joy-I hope there is plenty of rust proofing on it....

Still in the Olympic orifice

A butcher has invented a device to be stocked with gourmet goodies such as cheese stuffed bangers and rare white varieties.

 And to access the meaty treats, all customers have to do is use their credit card and pin number.

Steffen Schutze, 31, also sells marinated steak and chicken wings from the machine, but admits that sausages are his main seller.

"It's a great idea for busy people who can't get to the shops. Now all he needs is another machine to dispense potatoes," said one customer.

Yeah right...

And talking of food Paris, the City of lots of people in France, is also the city with the most expensive club sandwich in the world, according to a global survey released Wednesday by an online travel service. Hotels.com said it price-checked club sandwiches at more than 750 hotels in 26 cities in Asia, Europe, North America and South America to help travellers size up the affordability of different national capitals. The result? Paris topped the list with an average price of $33.10 for the iconic chicken, bacon, egg, lettuce and mayonnaise sandwich that's a fixture on virtually every hotel restaurant and room-service menu. Geneva placed second at $32.56, followed by Oslo at $30.50. New Delhi was cheapest at $9.57. Berlin and Brasilia were bang in the middle at $17.77 each -- slightly more expensive than New York's $16.93.

Tokyo came in at $27.65, Hong Kong at $18.35, London at $18.71 and Toronto at $16.05.





I’m orf to New Delhi then-with a bucket...and a toilet roll...and a butt plug...

Somewhere on the Ethernet

A pussy turns into a chicken.

And finally:

On one of the big wet salty things

The US military has put its $195 million stealth ship built back in 1984 (but the world didn't see the Sea Shadow for nine years because it was loaded with the type of stealth technology that made the US Air Force's F-35 Lightning II so famous)  up for sale, starting price is $50,000 .

The snag is that once you own it you have to scrap it.

"The ex-Sea Shadow shall be disposed of by completely dismantling and scrapping within the USA," the description on the sale item reads.

"Dismantling is defined as reducing the property such as it has no value except for its basic material content."

Not much of a bargain then...but if you want a pile of metal you can bid on it Here

That’s it: I’m orf to buy her Maj’s knickers at W.H smith

And today’s thought:

21^st century delivery system

Angus