Dave’s mate: Windy Chancellor: Citadel Numptys: Arachnid invasion: Holy ice lolly: and Luxury Dahn Unda.

Freezing cold and pissing dahn at the Castle this bank holiday morn, took a day orf yesterday, unplugged the TV and managed to avoid all “news” of that thing happening in the Smoke, sadly it is still going on today.

The Honda is now a nice selection of red and yellow, the butler is back to shoving carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from the Tesco “bag for life”.

 

Up in the Palace of holidays

It seems that when the overpaid, piss poor MPs return on the 11^th of June U-Turn Cam may be in for an “interesting” time.

After the Prime Monster launched an impassioned defence of Jeremy CHunt Labour and Some senior Liberal Democrat MPs are expected to vote on Wednesday next week to recommend that Mr CHunt faces censure of his handling of News Corp's £8bn bid for BSkyB.

According to Dave "The advice I was given was that what mattered was not what Jeremy Hunt had said publicly or privately but how he was going to conduct himself during the bid," he told the BBC. "That's how I think we should judge him: did he adjudicate this bid wisely and fairly?

"And he did. He took legal advice at every stage, and he followed that legal advice and he did many things that were not in the interests of the Murdochs or BSkyB and that side of things."

 

Yeah right...

Still in the place where no one is home

Son of a B.......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (where’s my invite to the picnic today) Osborne has decided that he wants to cut subsidies for wind farms by a quarter, the Department for Energy and Climate Change confirmed that subsidy levels are set to fall.

Cutting subsidies would be popular among Conservative MPs. More than 100 MPs wrote to David Cameron earlier this year calling on the Prime Monster to limit the growth of onshore wind generation.

Allegedly George has seen his reputation damaged by his Budget in March, and is looking to rebuild support with his party.

At the moment there are just over 3,000 wind turbines onshore and more than 500 offshore in the UK.

What’s his name-the Deputy Prime Minister, has clashed repeatedly with Mr Osborne in Cabinet meetings over environmental issues, reminding the Chancellor that the Coalition is committed to being “the greenest government ever”.

  

Until personal ambition gets in the way.....

Over to the non-Jubilee place way over to the left

An existing computer virus, called Citadel, has been repurposed as scam-ware, which notifies users that they've been caught looking at child porn and must pay a $100 fine to get off the hook.

Users are lured into going to a URL for a "drive-by download" website, which installs a Trojan (called Reveton) onto their machine using the Citadel platform. This Trojan then freezes their computer and displays a warning screen (pictured above) notifying the user that "the user's IP address was identified by the Computer Crime & Intellectual Property Section as visiting child pornography and other illegal content." And they have to pay $100 to the Federal Government, via credit card or wire transfer, to clear their record.

This warning comes from the Internet Complaint Crime Centre (IC3), which is made up of the FBI and other agencies. The alert warns:

In addition to the ransomware, the Citadel malware continues to operate on the compromised computer and can be used to commit online banking and credit card fraud.... This is an attempt to extort money with the additional possibility of the victim's computer being used to participate in online bank fraud. If you have received this or something similar do not follow payment instructions.

One born every minute...

East to the land of many, many people and big arachnoids

Over two weeks ago, an army of eight-legged sods invaded Jintu Gogoi's neighbourhood in Sadiya, Upper Assam.

On May 8. Most of the inhabitants of Chaulkhowa Nagaon village had been to a Bihu function. When the programme drew to a close, swarms of spiders suddenly descended from nowhere and started biting the people.

Over the next few days’ scores of people arrived in the Sadiya civil hospital with spider bites, some even carrying their tormentors to the hospital.

An alert was made across Tinsukia district and people were asked to stay indoors at night—the time the eight legged buggers would swarm all over the place.

Dibrugarh University has, meanwhile, sent spider specimens to Indian Society of Arachnology, Maharashtra, for identification.

Shan’t be going there for my hols then.....

Back in the Smoke

The Icecreamists shop in London's Covent Garden has come up with a new product-a gun-shaped Vice Lolly made up of one part 80% alcohol absinthe and three parts Holy water from Lourdes.

Priced at £18.58 after the year 1858 - when spring water from Lourdes was declared Holy by the Catholic Church after a 14-year-old girl saw the Virgin Mary in a vision there.

Icecreamists owner Matt O'Connor, 45 said "Being born into a Catholic family I wanted to make a statement about religion," "I have a source in France that bought the holy water for me in plastic bottles. After it was shipped over I spent a lot of time tasting it with absinthe and sugar to get the taste and balance just right.

"It tastes alcoholic with a touch of sweetness. After about three of these the average drinker would certainly be feeling the effects."

 

And then be damned to hell for eternity...

And finally:

Dahn Unda

Apparently Aussies have ditched the Lara Bingle-style bikini babe and Paul Hogan-esque Aussie larrikin and gone upmarket for their new $250 million marketing campaign.

The 90 second commercial launched in China today showcases some of the country's most luxurious - and expensive - travel experiences.

It includes scenes of a woman getting a massage at Wolgan Valley Resort and Spa in the NSW Blue Mountains where Australian cricket captain Michael Clarke wed Kyly Boldy last month, a couple playing chess at the high-end Saffire in Tasmania and five-star dining at Uluru in the Northern Territory.

Australia's natural beauty is also on display, with sweeping images of the Bungle Bungles in Western Australia's Kimberley region, diving on the Great Barrier Reef, a glittering Sydney Harbour and gum trees blowing in the wind.

In another scene, indigenous and non-indigenous children are seen swimming together in a waterhole in the Northern Territory and playing with crabs on the beach.

Tourism Minister Martin Ferguson launched the latest phase of the There's Nothing Like Australia campaign in Shanghai today. China is Australia's fastest-growing and most valuable tourism market.

It also includes a new, interactive tablet app and hub on its website www.australia.com to give people more information on the locations featured in the ad.

Hello and Hooroo Dahn Unda

That’s it I’m orf to purchase a non-glowing Russian sheep

And today’s thought:

Australian

Angus

Some MPs are not happy: Her Maj’s jubbly tower: Cunning cat: Ban English in the EU: Mitt Romney’s Amercia: Dutch get their own back: Pussy up a pipe: and the Cleaning fairy.

The liquid metal gauge reads 70 degrees in old language at the Castle this morn, a whimsy of mist, a smidge of moving atmosphere and still not a drop of skywater.

Very late this Saturday, overslept because I couldn’t sleep in the heat, the Honda is turning yellow again and his Maj has discovered the joy of digging up the newly planted vegetation to have a pee....

Up in the Palace of Westminster

It seems that one in three MPs are not happy with the cleanliness of toilets inside the House of Commons, and one in five also said they were dissatisfied with Parliament's dining rooms, restaurants and cafes.

A total of 177 MPs and 961 of their staff completed the annual questionnaire asking for their feedback on the quality of services and facilities in the Palace of Westminster.

Many complained their offices were only cleaned superficially and that the lavatories in the Commons were too dirty.

Apparently Toilets in the Norman Shaw North building are in particular need of regular deep cleaning and modernisation, and Around 20% of MPs were unhappy with the dining rooms, restaurants and cafeterias in Parliament and expressed dissatisfaction with the Commons Tea Room and Smoking Room.

Oh dear what a shame, I wonder what the result would be if there was a survey of the population on our satisfaction of MPs?

Still in the leaning part of the Smoke

Allegedly the tower housing Big Ben is almost certainly to be renamed in honour of the Queen for her Diamond Jubilee after a majority of MPs backed a campaign.

Parliamentary authorities are now expected to support the calls to rename the Clock Tower as “The Elizabeth Tower” when they meet in a few weeks.

David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband are among senior figures from all three major parties that backed the proposal for Parliament to bestow the tribute to the Monarch.

They are among 331 MPs, from a total of 650, who now support the campaign, which is also understood to have backing from the Cabinet Office and Buckingham Palace.

A further 40 MPs have signed a Commons early day motion calling for the east tower at the Palace of Westminster to be formally named "The Elizabeth Tower".

Other MPs backing the idea include the William Hague, the Foreign Secretary, Theresa May, the Home Secretary, and Iain Duncan Smith, the Work and Pensions Secretary.

Bye, bye St Stephen, nice to see that just over half of unhappy MPs have their priorities right...

Somewhere in the rain

How to cross a river if you are feline...

Right a bit to what is left of the EU

The Brussels-based French-language press is a bit miffed because of the release in English of the EU's annual report cards on the bloc's 27 economies.

In an angry open e-mail to the European Commission, the correspondent for the daily Liberation newspaper Jean Quatremer said -- in French: "Once again, all the documents published today are available only in English. This is unacceptable."

A spokesperson for the Commission told AFP that "the translations are coming."

Happy now Jean....?

West to the home of Microsoft and the land of the spellchecker

White House hopeful Mitt Romney has launched his “With Mitt" application for the iPhone allowing users to express support for the recently anointed Republican flag bearer by personalizing a photo with an overlaid Romney slogan.

Unfortunately it says “A Better Amercia”.

Romney campaign spokeswoman Andrea Saul said on MSNBC "Mistakes happen, I don't think any voter cares about a typo at the end of the day,"

Time will tell.....

 

East more imperial measures than you could shake a dustbin at

More than 700 tons of smuggled solid waste has been sent back to the Netherlands, its country of origin, Chinese authorities said on Friday.

The illegal shipment consisted of 30 containers holding 763 tons of household garbage, which had been smuggled into China from the Netherlands. They were loaded onto ships at Zhangjiagang, in Jiangsu province, on Friday morning and will reach the Port of Rotterdam at the beginning of July, according to a statement released by customs authorities in Nanjing, capital of the province.

Smuggled in with the aid of fake shipping documents, the batch of waste was bought by Hepu, a trading company in East China's Anhui province, through a firm in Taiwan, the statement said.

The garbage, which included musty paper, plastic bottles and rotten diapers, was scattered everywhere. Among it was trash that environmental experts would not allow to be imported, said the officer, who did not want to be identified.

Following an investigation, the customs workers found the case involved a trading company in Anhui province that had purchased the trash from a fibre company in the Netherlands, using a Taiwan company as an intermediary, the statement said.

Chen Liwen, a researcher at Green Beagle, a Beijing environmental protection group, say many businessmen have benefited from the trade in low-quality solid waste from foreign countries.

"If customs authorities can't check for these abuses in a stricter way, domestic garbage from developed countries will pollute our country and damage Chinese people's health," she said.

Har fucking har.....

West again and dahn to the land of Purrgeots

A driver who felt his car was losing power checked under the bonnet – and found a kitten stuck in the engine.

The motorist found the two-month-old creature wedged inside the exhaust system, with just its head and a paw sticking out.

It was only when he took the vehicle to a garage to have the animal removed that mechanics noticed it was still alive.

The part was taken out and rushed to a fire station where a crew cut the feline free.

The kitten had intestinal surgery and is now recovering at a sanctuary in Rio Verde, western Brazil.

Not funny I know....but.....that picture...

And finally:

Up from the land of furry exhausts

US police are investigating after a real life cleaning fairy broke into a home to do some housework.

The woman broke into a house in Westlake, Ohio, did some light cleaning, then left a bill for $75.

She broke into the house while the owners were out but their teenage daughter was asleep upstairs.

The woman took out the rubbish, vacuumed the carpet and cleaned up the living room.

Homeowner Sherry Bush said: "I think our jaws just dropped to the ground. There were some coffee mugs that my husband had out. She had washed them all.

"She wrote a note on a napkin and left it on the table, saying, '$75 I was here to clean,' and left her name and number."

Assuming she had got the wrong house, Mrs Bush gave the woman a call.

"I said, what happened, did you get the wrong house? She said, 'No, I do this all the time'.

I do like an optimist...

That’s it: I’m orf to hunt for Zebra mussels in the moat

And today’s thought:

Poor piss MP’s

Angus

EU bleedin cookies law

Just one item on the agenda this Friday morn at the Castle.

I have had quite a few emails and a comment from Bernard about this pain in the arse E (IEIO) U cookie law thing. 

To be honest I am just as confused as most people, but after a lot of “Google-ing” and poking with a stick I think I may have it cracked-sort of.

I have picked and packed stuff from all over the net thingy.

First up, if you are a blogger all you probably need to do is tell your visitors how your blog uses cookies and the reason why;

Create a “privacy and cookie policy” and bung it on the footer of the home page (or all pages if you are very pedantic) of your site.

Shove a pic or something in the sidebar of the page/pages with text saying something like “This site uses cookies. Click here to find out more information about my cookie policy” with a link to the above.

Your cookie policy should explain:

What cookies you use and why-“This site uses Google Analytics cookies which help me to understand who is brain dead enough to visit my site, and what content they read, so I can improve the site for my readers.” (Which is bollocks but it sounds good).

The cookie is only used for the duration of your visit, and will expire when you close your web browser.”

Most browsers allow users to choose to not receive cookies. If you would prefer not to receive cookies from this site, please see http://www.allaboutcookies.org/ for information on how to set your browser not to receive cookies and delete existing cookies.” (After you have clicked on the “cookie" yes box so that you can actually read the bloody site)

Tell anyone daft enough to actually visit your blog that by continuing to use your website without changing their browser preferences, they are consenting to your use of cookies, and this means they will benefit from all the wonderful content you have copied and pasted….

The above text is only for guidance and should be edited to your own requirements.

But if you do bar cookies and delete existing ones any sites you have visited will not remember you and any passwords/information that have been saved will be lost if you revisit. 

Or another option is to have a small portion of header/footer text that is highlighted when a cookie is about to be set (this is what the ICO now does on its own website, after it managed a 90% fall in traffic by ballsing up the popup).

But if you must know about these things you can go to Here, Here or -oh sod it I can’t be bothered…

As to clicking on the Cookie thingy on other sites-basically if you don't say "Yes" to the cookies you won't be able to visit the site which before this Piss Poor "Law" used cookies to track your visits etc.

Or like me you can do bugger all and wait to see what happens, saving yourself a lot of fucking around…

Angus

Skip tax: Vehicle ransom charges: Google's image search algorithm: Green Numpty: Minge on countdown: and Mud pit jumping.

Nice and cool at the Castle this morn, a touch of atmospheric movement and still not a drop of skywater, but I did rinse all the yellow stuff orf the Honda yestermorn.

Just returned from the stale bread gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, and I popped into the forecourt to put a cupful or two of go juice in the motor, cheaper to stuff ten pound notes in the tank....

 

And talking of things that use hydrocarbons

Son of a B......aronet George (I don’t have to worry about the doctor’s strike because I have BUPA) Osborne has come up with a cunning plan to screw drivers even more.

“Government” officials have begun private discussions with the motoring industry and drivers’ groups about an overhaul of the Vehicle Excise Duty (VED) rules.

One option being considered would replace the annual tax on cars with a one-off up-front charge on new vehicles when they are sold.

Allegedly ministers are “considering whether Vehicle Excise Duty should be reformed to support the sustainability of public finances and to reflect the improvements in vehicle fuel efficiency”.

The annual road tax for cars ranges from zero for those with the lowest CO2 emissions — which include electric and hybrid cars — to more than £200 for those with larger and less efficient petrol and diesel engines.

VED raises almost £6 billion a year for the Treasury, but official forecasts show that the revenue from the tax will fall as more people chose to drive low-emission cars.

The Office of Budget Responsibility this year cut its forecast for VED revenues by £100 million a year from 2014/15 to reflect the move towards cleaner cars.

Making up that shortfall would cost the equivalent of £20 a year for every motorist in the country.

Cheers George....

Staying with the alien reptile in disguise who has the IQ of a bollard

Britain faces a nationwide epidemic of fly-tipping and thousands of jobs will be lost because of a massive increase in charges to dump rubbish, waste companies warned last night as George Osborne was hit by a new tax row.

They also forecast that skips full of rubble would go uncollected around the country after an increase of nearly 2,500 per cent in the tax for dumping some types of rubbish in landfill sites.

The tax man has decided that the amount charged for dumping some waste materials soar from £2.50 to £64 a tonne.

The HMRC said last night it had merely acted because landfill sites were charging waste firms the wrong rates.

But the skip disposal industry, which employs between 20,000 and 30,000 people, says it will now cost £300 to empty a typical skip, compared with £144 before last week's tax rise.

 Thanks again George...that’ll help the unemployment figures.

All across the net thingy

Two U.K. artist/geeks ran some computer code and replaced all 21,000 words in an average dictionary with the first Google image that pops up for each word.

The result is a 1,240-page tome of the best and worst of Google's image search algorithm, laid out in colourful columns, in alphabetical order -- starting with a picture of an aardvark. The thumb-indexed pages are bound in a swirl-patterned hardcover.

And apparently about half of the Google Book is "revolting medical photos, porn, racism or bad cartoons"

West and co-artist Felix Heyes hope to print a small number of the books for sale. Anyone interested in signing up can visit their websites at bewe.me and felixheyes.com.

 

Now, where do I start-Aardvark?

West more than a lot and dahn to where you can get some hairs cut

Paulo Henrique dos Santos is green with---paint.

He coated himself head-to-toe with green paint to become the “Hulk” for a running event, sadly the paint wasn’t of the body ilk but industrial green stuff.

After scrubbing himself and having “about 20 baths”, the 35-year-old was still coated in green.

Paulo, who also works as a DJ in Rio de Janeiro, mistakenly used the hardcore paint when the shop he went to didn’t have the brand he normally used

But after a team of friends and neighbours scrubbed for 24 hours, the offending paint eventually came off-along with most of his skin.....

 

Back in intellectual Blighty

Countdown has done it again, the latest cringing cock up is-----MINGE, on yesterday’s show, maths expert Rachel Riley picked out the right sequence of consonants and vowels to spell out “that” word.

After the 30 seconds' thinking time, champion Suzi Purcell declared a seven letter word, MINGERS, which raised a small titter from the studio.

 

The joy of the English language....

And finally:

Back over to the left and up quite a distance

Americans have been taking part in a rather different competition - the 16th annual Redneck Olympics.

The event, which took place in East Dubin, Georgia, kicked off with the traditional lighting of a torch made from a beer can - and carried on with some rather unusual events.

Those taking part had the chance to bob for pig's trotters, throw themselves into mud pits and take part in toilet seat tossing in a bid to win one of the tournament's beer can-shaped trophies.

The Games originally began in 1996 - the year that the summer Olympics were held in Atlanta - and were created by a local radio broadcaster in response to a remark that the Games 'were being held by a bunch of rednecks'.

More than 5,000 people turned up to the first-ever Games, with a further 95,000 having attended in the past ten years.

Looks like a lot more fun than “our” multi billion pound debacle...

That’s it: I’m orf to sequence a genome for tastier tomatoes

And today’s thought:

Slo-mo Olympics

Angus

The benefits of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition: Le refuge: Spanish SARTRE: FORE!-door: Big Apple burger: and the Physic Ferret

More than a smidge cooler at the Castle this morn, decent amount of cloud cover, no windy stuff and no sign of sky water yestereve, but I did manage to fettle the lawn and the borders; supervised by his Maj of course...

The garden now has the addition of some roses in bloom.

The first one is a climbing scented “dog” rose which I bought for 50p at Wilkinsons ten years ago and now resides in the shady corner.

And the second is a beautiful deep red scented rose that I gave to “M” back in the seventies-go on have a sniff....

As expected the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition’s 

Plan “A” isn’t working that well, in fact hardly anyone is working anymore, calculations from the House of Commons Library show that forecast spending on Job Seekers’ Allowance (JSA) and Housing benefit will be £9.1 billion higher during this parliament than the Coalition first expected.

Ministers insisted that the Coalition’s Work Programme was working and that the number of welfare claimants was reducing.

In autumn 2010, the Treasury was expecting to spend £21 billion on JSA in the period from 2010-11 to 2015-16. Budget figures this year suggest that total has now risen to £25.8 billion.

Chris Grayling, the welfare minister reckons that “We’re well on the way to 100,000 job starts even in a tough labour market. This is a revolution in welfare to work that we all should want to succeed.”

Officials also pointed out that the increase in benefits spending was partly explained by the Government’s decision to increase benefits in line with inflation, meaning a 5.2 per cent increase this year.

La-la land is alive and well in the Coalition cabinet...

Up in the Smoke

Apparently more French people live in London than in Bordeaux, Nantes or Strasbourg and it is now thought to be France's sixth biggest city in terms of population.

Allegedly there are French people in every corner of London and their numbers have been growing, with the result that in next week's parliamentary election in France they - along with expats in Scandinavia - will be voting for a candidate to represent them in the National Assembly.

The French consulate in London estimates between 300,000 and 400,000 French citizens live in England's capital - many in London's cutting-edge creative hub, in the East End.

The French first came en masse to the East End in the 17th Century. The Huguenots, who had endured years of persecution in France because of their Protestant faith, were offered sanctuary here by King Charles II.

They called their flight Le Refuge - coining the word refugee.

Many settled east of the City of London, where food and housing were cheaper. There are many French street names around nearby Spitalfields Market such as Fournier Street, Fleur de Lys Street and Nantes Passage.

The Huguenots were skilled craftsmen but some feared that they were depriving Londoners of work. A protectionist priest, a certain Dr Welton, called them "the offal of the earth".

 

Don’t you just love the “common market”...?

Dahn a bit to the next domino in the Euro crash

Volvo has successfully completed a public test of a self-driven convoy of cars. A human driver led the convoy of three self-driven vehicles, which mimicked the lead driver's actions through a wireless link.

The four vehicles completed a 125-mile voyage across a Spanish roadway travelling at an average speed of 52 mph.

The SARTRE test was carried out as part of a European Commission research project. If offered to the public, Volvo says, the self-driving convoys could also allow commuters to "work on their laptops, read a book or sit back and enjoy a relaxed lunch" while travelling.

Oh great, a convoy of Volvo drivers who have even less control over their cars than usual...

 West more than a putters length

A jet had just taken off from the Opa-Locka Executive Airport and was headed about 30 miles north to its home base at Pompano Beach Municipal Airport when it lost a door. The pilot diverted the plane to Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, where it landed safely.

The Canadair CL60's door landed Wednesday afternoon on the 16th fairway of the Westin Diplomat Resort & Spa's golf course in Hallandale Beach.

 

Bet that made a hole in one-of the fairways...

Up a whimsy to the place named after a large fruit

Following the world’s most expensive omelette, we now have the world’s most expensive burger. New York's Serendipity 3 restaurant has invented said “food stuff” featuring Japanese Waygu beef infused with 10-herb white truffle butter and seasoned with Salish Alderwood smoked Pacific sea salt. It's topped with cheddar cheese, hand-made and cave-aged for 18 months, a smidge of shaved black truffles, a fried quail egg, a blini, crème fraiche, Kaluga caviar and a white truffle-buttered Campagna roll.

To complete the masterpiece is a solid gold "Fleur de Lys" toothpick, encrusted with diamonds, designed by world-renowned jeweller Euphoria New York.

And all for the miserly price of $295.

Think I’ll pass on that one...

And finally:

East loads of thingies

Euro 2012 organisers in Ukraine have introduced their answer to Germany's Paul the octopus - Fred the 'psychic' ferret.

Fred joins soothsayer hog Khryak in Kiev and Citta the elephant in Krakow, Poland - co-hosts with Ukraine of Euro 2012.

Fred will appear in Fan Zones, where he will choose from plates of food bearing the flags of competing teams - with whichever bowl he eats from being declared the favourite.

Fred the ferret will have precisely 15 minutes in the Fan Zone and will have to predict the winning team."

 

Fucking hell..........

 

That’s it: I’m orf to investigate falling stout bubbles

And today’s thought:

Now if football teams looked like this.

I might be interested...

Angus

Is the Piss Poor Millionaires Club Cabinet worth it?: Socrates is innocent!: License to print money: Taste of a tear: and Back in the lead.

A smidge cooler at the Castle this morn, the garden needs a good fettle-grass, hedges, borders, pots and wall boxes but it has been too hot to bovver.

The good news is that “they” are threatening vast amounts of sky water dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire aftermorn, which means that I may not have to hump the watering can around the grounds and the Honda might return to red instead of yellow.

And his Maj spent a while stalking a May Bug.

The Torygraph might have shot itself in its blue foot

They have published a graphic entitled “the combined wealth of the Cabinet revealed” which as it says lets us know what the rich bastards that sit round the sideboard are currently worth.

Click on this link and you too can see why “we are all in this together” but some of us are just in it while others are sticking together...

After more than 2,000 years

Socrates whose teachings earned him a death sentence in ancient Athens has been acquitted-just.

A panel of 10 US and European judges heard pleas by top Greek and foreign lawyers at the Onassis Foundation in Athens.

Judges then voted on whether he was guilty on the ancient charges of evil-doing, impiety and corrupting the young.

In 399 BC, Socrates was made to die by drinking hemlock poison after being convicted by a jury of hundreds of Athenians. Unrepentant, he had insulted the judges at his trial and cheekily asked to be rewarded for his actions.

The modern judges spared him that dishonour this time, with an even vote -- five guilty and five not guilty, meaning that under ancient Athenian law he was not convicted.

More than 800 people bought tickets for Friday's event, which was also watched online at www.sgt.gr by web users who could cast their verdict.

Organisers said the issues of democracy and free speech raised by Socrates' trial was resonant for global politics in light of recent uprisings and crises.

Organisers said the event was also good for Greece in its current crisis, as it awaits a second general election on June 17 that could determine whether it stays in the eurozone.

Which explains why Greece is so deep in the shit....

East to the land of palm oil and tin

When the prefix "WWW" became available on Malaysia’s license plates, more than 18,000 people submitted bids. The Road Transport Department said Monday that the most coveted plate, "WWW1," sold for a record 520,000 ringgit ($165,600) to Malaysian royal state leader Sultan Ibrahim Ismail.

Officials estimate the successful WWW bids will earn the transport department 11.3 million ringgit ($3.6 million).

The previous highest sum paid for a license plate in Malaysia was 300,100 ringgit ($95,600) in 2010 for MCA1, the acronym for a national political party.

Surprised it went for so little....

Back in hot and sultry Blighty

A range of salts said to be collected from crying humans experiencing a range of emotions have gone on sale in London.

The £7 salts - sold by Hoxton Street Monster Supplies - is billed as coming from tears of sorrow, tears shed while sneezing, tears shed while chopping onions, tears of laughter, and tears of anger.

Each salt is said to distinctly different flavour and could certainly add an interesting element to your next dinner party.
A spokesperson said: "Salt Made From Tears” combines centuries-old craft with the freshest human tears which are gently boiled, released into shallow crystallisation tanks, then harvested by hand and finally rinsed in brine.

 

It's all bollocks of course, the salts are really sea salt from Halen Môn and have been developed in collaboration with Studio Weave. But as a percentage of sales goes towards the Ministry of Stories, which aims to inspire a nation of storytellers, and boost the profits of Hoxton Street Monster Supplies

 

It’s enough to bring a tear to your eyes...or your wallet....

 And finally:

 

Somewhere in economy reversing bollixed up Britain

Runner Garret Doherty has become the first Briton to dip below seven minutes running a mile backwards.

The 33-year-old smashed his own British record while defending his title at the UK backwards running championships, beating his nearest rival by over a minute to win in 6min 57sec.

He said: ‘I’m thrilled that I managed to keep hold my title, and I’m chuffed that I’ve beaten my personal best time.’

Mr Doherty got hooked on the bizarre sport three years ago – when he turned around to avoid the sun’s glare while out on a jog.

He said: ‘It’s truly liberating, and there are enormous health benefits. It’s much better for your body than running forwards, as its lower impact.

‘People usually have to do a double take when they see me whizzing past.

 Oh dear......

That’s it: I’m orf to stop the Meerkats inbreeding.

And today’s thought:

I know I dropped that pound coin somewhere 

Angus

Bee happy: Supergrid: Global pay scales: Caviar omelette: Bear faced outhouse: and that’s NASA useful.

Same old at the Castle this morn, the liquid metal sweatometer gauge is up to dehydration levels, no moving atmosphere, no sky water, no energy, no money, no hope...

His Maj is too hot to discover any new ambush tricks, the Honda is so yellow that I think it has jaundice and I am still humping the watering can around the grounds.

But the good news is that a species of bee not seen in the UK for a quarter of a century is being reintroduced to the countryside.

The short-haired bumblebee was once widespread across the south of England but it vanished in 1988.

However, after a healthy stock of the bees was found in Sweden, conservationists were able to collect some to seed a new UK colony.

A team of conservationists, with the permission of the Swedish authorities, captured nearly 100 spring queens to bring back to the UK.

About 50 queen bumblebees are being released at the RSPB's Dungeness reserve in Kent.

A team of conservationists, with the permission of the Swedish authorities, captured nearly 100 spring queens to bring back to the UK.

Before the release, the bees were put in quarantine for two weeks at Royal Holloway, University of London.

 

But it seems that half of them have evaded immigration and vanished....

Fed up with Leccy prices?

Worry not, the knobs have a cunning plan- the Supergrid, connect up the electricity supply networks of half a dozen countries or more, and you can shunt the current around, from where it is in surplus to where it is badly needed. In particular, you can do it with electricity provided from renewable sources, such as wind, solar and tidal power.

Using big electricity cables or "interconnectors" on the seabed between Blighty and our neighbours to tackle all three priorities of UK energy policy: security of supply (keeping the lights on under all circumstances), social justice (making sure that energy prices don't rise unacceptably high), and tackling climate change (a new priority, added over the past decade).

Apparently the European Supergrid has been under active development for a couple of years – David Cameron gave it his public backing in January 2011 – but has risen up the agenda after the Government expressed an interest in the longest connection of all, with Iceland, to tap into that volcanic nation's supplies of geothermal energy, provided by the natural heat of the Earth.

A proposed connection with Norway may be able to tap into the hydroelectric power in which Norway specialises, and connections to the Continent may be able to link up with solar power projects in France or even Africa.

 

Yeah right, I won’t hold my breath for “priority two”...

Want to know where you stand in the global salaries tables

Auntie BEEB has this super duper calculator where you can find out.

Have fun....

Across the big wavy, salty thing on the left

A New York hotel has the world's most expensive omelette on its menu, which will set you back 1,000 dollars (about £2.50 at today’s exchange rate).

Packed with lobster and caviar, the Zillion Dollar Lobster Frittata, is featured on the menu at Norma's restaurant in Manhattan's Le Parker Meridien Hotel.

The 10ounces of American Sturgeon caviar piled on top of the omelette ordinarily retails for about 65 dollars an ounce.

With 650 dollars worth of caviar sitting atop the expensive omelette, the extra 350 dollars is made up of one whole lobster, eggs, cream and chives, the dish's main ingredients, and then the hotel's overheads.

"We actually don't make much money on it, we sell it at about cost," the Daily Mail quoted Marisa Zafran, Parker Meridien's director of public relations, as saying.

Eggstraordinary...

Up a bit to the land of------well they must do something...

A Winnipeg man was rudely interrupted when he was dragged from an outhouse by a ferocious bear.

The victim, 65-year-old Gord Shurvell, only survived thanks to a quick-thinking friend who shot the animal, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reported Wednesday.

Shurvell was camping and fishing with his friend, Daniel Alexander, at a cabin by Dunbar Lake in eastern Ontario when the black bear went for him Saturday.

Shurvell told the CBC he was "sitting on the throne" in the outhouse with the door wide open so he could enjoy the view when the bear attacked, grabbing his pants.

He said the animal started dragging him through the bush by his arm and "I know if he gets me back there and I pass out, my buddy won't know ... it would take too long to find me. So I'm trying to get a tree to slow him down."

Alexander, who heard Shurvell screaming, grabbed a gun and found the pair in the bush. When the bear dropped Shurvell and turned, Alexander fired, killing it.

Shurvell escaped with scratches on his head, neck and arms along with a puncture to the back of his head, the CBC said.

So it’s not only bears that shit in the woods then....

And finally:

Still over the briny but back dahn a fair way

A fruit drink developed by NASA to protect astronauts from radiation can rejuvenate the skin.

A groundbreaking study has shown that the concoction, known as AS10, dramatically reduces wrinkles, blemishes and sun damage after four months.

AS10 was developed as a nutritional supplement for astronauts to protect them from the damaging effects of high levels of radiation outside the Earth’s atmosphere.

The drink contains a blend of fruits including cupuacu (a Brazilian fruit from the cacao plant family), acai, acerola, prickly pear and yumberry, which all provide vitamins and phytochemicals – compounds known to block the harmful effects of radiation. Other ingredients are grape, green tea, pomegranate and vegetables.

Radiation particles alter oxygen molecules in the body to create reactive oxygen species (ROS) – so-called ‘free radicals’ which damage cells in a process known as oxidative stress. This process has been linked to diseases such as cancer and Alzheimer’s. The toxic molecules are also thought to play a role in the skin ageing process.

ROS are created naturally within the body as cells generate energy, but also through environmental factors such as chemicals and ultraviolet light from the sun – the strongest stress to skin. Mobile phone radiation, cigarette smoke and alcohol also generate ROS.

AS10 is thought to improve skin condition because the drink’s large quantities of antioxidants ward off oxidative stress, allowing the skin to heal naturally. Antioxidants attach themselves to ROS and neutralise them before they cause damage.

And the snag is the cost- £30 per 750ml bottle, or daily use of sunscreen with UVB/UVA sun protection factor of 50+ could deliver results on a par with AS10.

Allegedly it is more likely to protect the skin, resulting in reductions in redness and pigmentation and a subtle reduction in wrinkles.’

Personally I find a 5mm layer of Polly-filler works just as well, if you can find a Polly to extract it from.....

That’s it: I’m orf to trap a rainbow

And today’s thought:

Coalition policies

Angus