It wasn’t me guv: Caveat emptor John: Laying dahn the lawn: 99 Wars: Automatic bed maker: and a Pox on us.

Damp, dark, dismal, dingy and decidedly dodgy at the Castle this morn, I don’t know what is in this skywater but everything is growing at more than a rate of knots meaning that the garden is in need of a full fettle.

His Maj still has the hump because he can’t go out and is sulking by his cat flap, and there may not be a post for the next few days as I am going to my general medic to have BOTH elbows injected with white stuff.

Up in the Smoke at the Leveson “inquiry”

Son of a B.....aronet (and alien reptile in disguise) George (hear no, speak no, see no evil) Osborne has decided that he knew nothing about anything regarding whether Rupert Murdoch's empire should have been allowed to expand further.

But he did admit that he and David Cameron rushed to put the decision in the hands of Jeremy Hunt, the Culture Secretary, before taking legal advice.

And that he hired Andy Coulson.

Apparently George O reckoned that he was merely "an external observer" of News Corp's £8bn bid, which he described as a "political inconvenience", and explicitly denied speaking to either Jeremy Hunt or Vince Cable about it.

According to the soon to be Ex-Chancellor; he denied attending a private meeting in a chalet with the Murdoch’s in a Swiss ski resort months before the 2010 general election amid allegations that a deal had been done over the family's plans to take full control of BSkyB. He said the meeting had never taken place – but admitted there had been a meeting in a chalet the previous year. He denied that they talked about BSkyB.

 

Methinks he denies too much....

And according to the Current Bun

Nearly nine out of 10 used cars on sale are dodgy.

Almost a third are stolen or written off, or were bought with loans that have not been paid off.

Cars more than five years old are likely to harbour secrets from past prangs to being stolen.

Newer ones are likely to come with hidden debt.

The study found Renault Clio’s were most likely to have a skeleton under the bonnet – 93% had a dark history.

A quarter of those checked were insurance write-offs.

The Ford Focus and VW Golf were the models most likely to have outstanding debt secured on them.

One in 10 of both were being sold with money still owed, the study by monitoring service ­Experian AutoCheck showed – and buyers could have the car repossessed.

The two models also had a one in 10 chance of being ­write-offs or having their mileage clocked.

Essex was the write- off capital of Britain with 17% of motors on sale being reported as unroadworthy.

 

No surprises there then.....

Up Norf a bit from the Castle

The nave of York Minster has been covered in 1,500 square metres of real grass.

The 14th century nave is being prepared for the York Minster Rose Dinner on Friday evening.

More than 900 guests will attend the dinner, being held to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and to raise money for the York Minster Fund.

Guests will walk and dine on a 'living carpet' of grass inside the Minster.

The grass is grown in felt that has been recycled from textiles.

Seems that austerity in religion has been mowed dahn....

Across a bit to Blackburn

Mr Whippy and Mr Yummy are not friends, as the Mr Yummy vendor smashed Mr Whippy’s window with a tyre lever, and Mr Yummy rammed Mr Whippy’s van.

Witness Mobeen Yaseen – who caught the incident on video – says it is the latest flare-up in what has been a long-running rivalry between the two brands in the area.

The chap in the vehicle in front, Mr Yummy, is a vendor from another town whereas Mr Whippy in the back there is a resident ice-cream man. As Mr Whippy was serving a customer Mr Yummy pulled up alongside Whippy’s truck saying to the customer that he'd do the ice creams cheaper. “He then drove past Whippy’s van cutting off his route (following which the argument turned violent).”

Think I’ll stick to my big tub from Tesco’s

Dahn to the next ex-Euro country

Spanish bed specialist OHEA has designed a revolutionary new piece of bedroom furniture which could save valuable minutes in the morning rush to get ready.

The device has been designed to mechanically straighten out a person's sheets, duvet and pillow in less than 50 seconds.

Featuring two different settings, the smart bed could finally put an end to creased sheets and messy bed making.

Users can either manually begin the bed making process by hitting a button or choose the automatic setting which will see the device spring into action three seconds after someone wakes up.

 Super....

 And finally: 

All across Europe

A super-strength strain of gonorrhoea is spreading.

The bacterial infection, which accounts for almost one in ten cases of the sexually transmitted disease, cannot be treated by drugs.

In the past year, the number of ‘superbug’ cases has more than doubled, according to health officials.

And even though Chlamydia is the most frequently reported STI, gonorrhoea – which affected more than 32,000 people worldwide in 2010 – has reached ‘critical levels’.

Marc Sprenger, from the Stockholm-based European Centre for Disease Prevention, said the drug-resistant strain of gonorrhoea could now be found in 17 continental countries – seven more than last year.

He also warned that the rise in superbug strains meant there was a risk gonorrhoea could become untreatable in the near future.

‘Public health experts and clinicians need to be aware of the current critical situation and should be vigilant for treatment failures,’ he added.

Gonorrhoea is a bacterial infection which, if left untreated, can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancies, stillbirths, severe eye infections in babies and infertility.

Everyone Clap....

That’s it: I’m orf to play a ditty on my MakeyMakey

And today’s thought:

Is this how you do it Olympics?

Angus

The blame game: Dave and his daughter: Chuffin bonkers: Ring in a ring: Mantra footie: and Take your pick...

‘tis chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, the liquid metal gauge is struggling to rise and his Maj thinks that I can control the wevver so that he can go out.

No post yesterday as it was the annual Canadian Grand Prix old farts day out, a drive to Chobham to meet up with five or six other old farts (depending who is still alive) at my rich gits mate’s house, then orf to Teddington lock for a pub lunch, then a trip up the river on his motor cruiser, then back to his house to watch said Grand Prix on his fifty inch, smart, HD, 3D internet connected “entertainment centre” on Sky F1 which started at 7 of the pm.

And as old farts do we all fell asleep and missed the bloody thing, but the weather was nice, luckily I set the thingy to record the highlights on BBC1, but as usual I already know who won....roll on next year...

Son of a B....aronet and alien reptile in disguise

George (I blame all those foreigners) Osborne has decided that it isn’t his Piss Poor Policies which has put bollixed up Blighty back in the recession league.

Apparently Hopes of a British economic revival are being "killed off" by events across the Channel, he claimed.

Writing in yesterday's Sunday Telegraph, George O warned that the deal to rescue Spain's banking system would not be sufficient to end the threat to the UK economy.

He said. "That's why a resolution of the eurozone crisis would do more than anything else to give our economy a boost."

Fuck orf you overeducated shit for brains Bullingdon knob head.....

And U-Turn Cam had to do yet another U-Turn

To retrieve his eight year old daughter from the pub:

Allegedly the Prime Monster, Mrs Prime Monster and a few body guards pulled up to Chequers, two miles away from The Plough in Cadsden, Bucks before they realised she was not with them.

U-Turn Cam jumped straight in the car and rushed back to collect his daughter, arriving at the pub about 15 minutes after the family had originally left.

Upon his arrival he was relieved to find Nancy contentedly helping out the staff, according to reports. Downing Street confirmed the incident had happened after a Sunday lunch but the exact date was not known.

 

Probably because Dave can’t remember it....

And the latest thing for aspiring ball kickers

Is; chanting mantras in the dressing room before games:, Hypnotherapist Sheila Granger’s “mind management” sessions included the lads chanting phrases such as “I can be the best tackler” and “We can score the best goals”. She said: “I also got the boys to sit in a circle and stare at a football in the middle

“I told them to close their eyes and ­visualise playing their best as well as how they wanted the match to go. They almost go into a trance. The idea is to focus their attention and get rid of any distractions.

“I told the team to delete any thoughts of negatives in the past – such as bad tackles from previous games. If you keep focusing on the negatives it can be a distraction.”

It’s only a game.....

East to the land of ex-British rail

How to get 1,000 people on a chuff-chuff in 30 seconds.

Back in rear exit Blighty

Fire crews were called to a hospital to cut off a sex aid after a pensioner had battled for 36 hours to remove it.

Bemused surgeons asked for help when the 69-year-old turned up at North Manchester General Hospital and revealed his problem.

Crews from Blackley station rushed to the ward and used a precision cutting tool to free the patient.

The patient originally turned up at Fairfield Hospital, Bury, at 11pm before he was transferred to North Manchester.

Plans were made to use a four-inch angle grinder to remove the ring-shaped object, but eventually an air cut-off tool was selected.

Cooling cream was applied to the area and the patient was asked to sign a form acknowledging he was aware of the dangers of the operation.

The delicate procedure took place in the operating theatre and is understood to have taken more than an hour.

The man spent the night at the hospital and was released yesterday morning.

It is thought fire-fighters involved were offered counselling following the incident.

Should have used a cucumber.....

And finally:

East a bit to the land that probably won’t be much longer

In the capitol of democracy, Clarke police are trying to track down thieves who stole nearly 400,000 toothpicks from a local toothpick manufacturer.

Six cases of toothpicks went missing from Armond’s Manufacturing Company Inc., 95 Trade St., Athens about two weeks ago, and another seven cases disappeared last weekend, according to police.

Each case contained 288 packages of 100 toothpicks, which brings the total number of purloined picks to 374,400.

The plastic toothpicks have a total value of $2,808, police said.

In addition to the MicroPicks, the thieves also stole cases of white ProPicks, police said.

 

Pick and pack pilferers...

That’s it: I’m orf to use Kinsight to find my keys

And today’s thought:

Touchy-feely winter Olympics

  

Angus  

Up before the beak: Overeducated Elitist Snobs: Isle buy that-not: “Bird” in a bag: The Blingon: and Sad (ex Nazi) Pope.

Not a lot of warm at the Castle this morn, more than a whimsy of atmospheric movement, a smidge of blue stuff above and the big yellow thing is hiding behind white fluffy stuff.

 And Blogger seems to be behaving today.

Up in the Smoke for episode 975 at the quasi legal Leveson soap

If the Devil could cast his net, as next week U-Turn Cam, Son of a B......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (OES) Osborne and what’s his name will allegedly undergo hours of questioning about their dealings with News Corp and its newspapers.

Also appearing at the mind numbingly boring “inquiry” will be Clone B, Gord and the fish from Norf of the border.

If you can raise the strength and find some stay awake pills click on the link over the pic and find out who, what, when and where they will appear to try to vindicate themselves of all responsibility for cow-towing to the media.

Or like me you could ignore the whole pointless thing and get on with your life.

Apparently there is a new global elite

According to “blood-crazed ferret” Damien Thompson the OES have taken over the world, Overeducated Elitist Snobs it seems have suddenly arisen to rule the cosmos.

Allegedly David Cameron and George Osborne who have inherited money, and are furiously ambitious academic snobs, who have superior brains and intend to amass even more money and power.

Couple of points Damien-if U-Turn Cam and Son of a B……aronet George (now where did I put my O level maths book) Osborne have “superior” brains then the rest of us are genius’s, over education does not signify intelligence, it signifies the wherewithal to pay and the time to indulge in it.

Point two is that OES’s have always ruled the world; it is just that this lot do not have any common sense at all because of their inexperience and lack of touch with real people.

Tell us something we don’t know…..

West to the place where there still seems to be oodles of loot

A Seattle billionaire who purchased the world's most expensive car for $35 million is now attempting to sell his private Canadian island for $75 million.

Craig McCaw, who sold his company, McCaw Cellular, to AT&T for $11.5 billion in 1993 and now runs high-speed wireless provider Clearwire, is attempting to sell the 780-acre James Island, part of British Columbia's Gulf Islands, with an asking price of $75 million, Seattlepi.com reported Wednesday.

The island currently hosts an 18-hole golf course, a 5,000-square-foot residence, six guest cottages, private docks, an airstrip, a pool house and a "western village."

McCaw said he is selling the island because his family has "the perfect storm of kids' activities and no one wants to be left behind."

Whatever….

Still in the home of apartment and the land of the suitcase

Aisea Poulivaati and other workers at a downtown Portland apartment complex wondered for months what a man kept lugging around in a pink rolling suitcase.

"We heard there may have been a person in there," said Poulivaati, a courtesy desk clerk at the 333 Oak Apartments. "But it's not like we could have proven that."

Monday afternoon, a caller told police that a man kidnapped a woman, put her in a pink suitcase and took it into the apartments.

Officers shared the witness’s description with the building manager, who said it might be resident Curtis T. Lowe, 52.

Lowe denied knowing anything about a woman in a suitcase, said a police report.

But officers searched the apartment. They found a pink suitcase in the living room and Kola J. McGrath, 50, in the closet.

The woman, described by police as 5-foot-6 and 96 pounds, told officers she had not been kidnapped. Instead, she was hiding in the suitcase because she had been banned from the apartment complex since April 2011.

McGrath was arrested and booked into Multnomah County Jail on a trespassing count. She has since been released.

Being a bit cruel, but honest; if that were my girlfriend I would keep her in a suitcase as well….

East to the place that won the Eurovision song contest a while ago

A previously undiscovered variety of berry found in western Sweden has been dubbed the "Blingon," a combination of lingon and blueberry.

Sveriges Radio said the fruit, which was found by botanist Evastina Blomgren, was named Blingon because the leaves have a blueberry colour and a leathery texture similar to a lingonbery plant, The Local.se reported Friday.

Blomgren said botanists were previously aware of the plants, which grow in several locations in Sweden, but were previously unaware of any instances where the plants sprouted berries. She said the plants are believed to be the result of cross-pollination of nearby blueberry and lingonbery plants.

The botanist said the berries are unlikely to become a popular food source.

No wonder, they should have called them Klingons…

And finally:

Dahn a bit to the land which tried and failed to rule Europe twice

Apparently German Catholics upset about media attacks on ex Nazi Pope Benedict over the "Vatileaks" scandal can now show solidarity with the German-born pontiff by sending pre-printed postcards bearing the message "We are with you!"

Germany's 'Pro-Papa' group said it wanted to do "something more than praying" to support ex Nazi Benedict, who has expressed "sadness in my heart" over the scandal rocking the Church.

"Anyone can download the postcard template with Benedict's image and the pre-printed solidarity message 'Pope Benedict, we are with you!' and then send it to the Holy Father," the head of the group, Sabine Benedikta Beschmann, told Reuters.

Around 1,000 people have downloaded and sent the postcard since the launch of the initiative a week ago, she said.

Wouldn’t waste the stamp....

That’s it: I’m orf to check out global forest crime.

And today’s thought:

Olympic wedgies.

Angus

Confused Cameron: Stamping on the rich: Vampire slayer’s kit: The Ostrich and the Pony: Chicken mugged in Manchester: and the price of booze.

Vast amounts of skywater mixed in with even vaster amounts of atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, his Maj has the hump but at least the Honda is red again.

and Blogger is being a pain in the arse-again...

According to U-Turn Cam

The regular summits of EU leaders are "baffling", the Prime Monster blamed the protocols behind European Councils, and that poor decisions "imposed from above" were the cause of much of the EU's problems.

Pot-Kettle-Black?

And how the rich are avoiding stamp duty-allegedly

Apparently 5,000 homes may be registered in ways to avoid property taxes. The Treasury faced demands last night to examine the extent of tax avoidance by the country's wealthiest homeowners who have transferred £25bn worth of property into corporate hands.

And about 500 of the homes, worth a total of £1.6bn, were transferred last year.

On Cornwall Terrace, an up market conversion of eight imposing period houses overlooking Regent's Park in London, the average asking price is £35m, making it the world's most expensive row of Georgian mansions. Every home sold has reportedly gone to an offshore company, meaning the buyers would have to pay only £52,500 to buy shares in the company, instead of £2.45m in stamp duty at 7 per cent. 

But in his Budget son of a B.....aronet and alien reptile in disguise “Chancellor”, George (I may have to sack one of my gardeners) Osborne, promised to come down "like a ton of bricks" on the practice of switching large properties into corporate control and immediately introduced a stamp duty levy of 15 per cent for houses bought through a company.

Oh good, that’ll help......

Norf a bit from the Castle

To the place where cricket and tea is king there is a chance to acquire a vampire slayer’s kit, complete with holy water, crucifixes, wooden stakes and a pistol with a mould for silver bullets.

The box, expected to fetch £1,200-£2,000, is on display in Harrogate until the sale is held in Leyburn, North Yorks, on June 22.

Apparently the slaying tools, dating from the late 19th century, show no sign of having been used.

No shit....

Dahn Unda

An ostrich takes a dislike to a little girl on a pony, it was going to be a video but blogger decided against it.

Still at least the pony was unhurt....

West oodles of imperial measures

To the other Manchester, Eric Didio was having a bit of a cavort in his bright yellow chicken costume, and waving a small American flag to passersby on Pleasant Valley Road.

When a guy hopped out of a car stopped at the light, ran over here, grabbed the flag and took off," restaurant general manager Nathan Atwood said.

Shortly after the theft, reported at about 12:30 p.m., Atwood stood next to Didio, providing security for his "chicken dude." Atwood said a customer who witnessed the theft called police.

Didio and Atwood could only describe the thief as "an overweight white dude." Didio was working to mark the grand reopening of the Boston Market, which Atwood said was recently renovated.

What a stupid clucker....

And finally:

Even further Norf of the Castle

 A 74-year-old bottle of whisky yesterday has sold for £46,000 at auction.

The bottle of Glenfiddich Rare Collection, distilled in 1937, fell short of the current auction record by just £850. The whisky was unusually slow to mature and ten consecutive warehouse masters watched over the cask as the amber liquor reached perfection.

In October 2001, after 64 years, malt master David Stewart declared Cask 843 ready to be bottled. One of the 61 bottles was sold yesterday to a bidder for £40,000, plus the £6,000 buyer’s premium.

The whiskies – which also include a Glenfiddich 1955 (£8,000-£10,000) and a Macallan Select Reserve 1948 (£5,000-£6,000) – are expected to be some of the top lots at the sale, which also includes cases of Domaine de la Romanée-Conti’s 1988 Romanée-Conti at £60,000-80,000 apiece.

Cheap at half the price...

That’s it: I’m orf to wash me hands in a Polish Bison.

And today’s thought:

Euro 2012

Angus

What’s his name’s bed time stories: All wind and piss: Big bike: Hell gardens: Fretting for a pee: and Gourmet tacos.

Mild, moist, murky and miserable at the Castle this morn, just got back from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, prices are still going up.

Apparently the deputy Prime Monster

What’s his name reads at least a few pages of a novel every night and would "love" to write one he has disclosed.

Thingy reckons he reads "religiously, every night before he goes to sleep".

He listed seven favourite books ranging from literary fiction including Autumn Of The Patriarch and Fyodor Dostoevsky's Crime And Punishment to children's books like The Tiger Who Came To Tea, by Judith Kerr.

 

Astonishing, a member of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition who can read....

And staying with the PPPMCC

Tim Yeo, the chairman of the Commons energy and climate change committee, said that the best way to win public acceptance of new wind farms was direct financial incentives.

He also warned George Osborne, the Chancellor, not to cut the subsidies for onshore turbines.

More than 100 Conservative MPs said that they oppose the building of new turbines, which can be up to 450ft tall, saying they are unsightly and inefficient.

Mr Yeo, who is not opposed to wind farms, said that the case for building more was being made badly. I sympathise with people who’ve got a whole big wind farm near your home – you’re bearing the environmental cost personally whereas the benefits are shared among the whole population,” he told BBC Radio 4.

Bollocks....

West a long way and dahn nearly as much

In the place where tobacco leaves are rolled on the thighs of dusky maidens Felix Guirola has a way of rising above the daily grind.

Guirola rides 13 feet (4 meters) above the ground atop his homemade super-tall bike, peering over pickup trucks and even buses and without a helmet or other protective gear to break a fall.

"I feel good up high. I don't get nauseated or dizzy, nothing like that," the 48-year-old Guirola said. "Up there I see the scenery better. I feel relaxed. There's more of a breeze, I breathe it and I feel freer."

Havana a breath of fresh air......

East loads of do-dahs to the place where Paul Gadd isn’t welcome

90 minutes outside of Bangkok sits the Wang Saen Suk Hell Park, one of several "hell gardens" that can be found throughout Thailand.

You can take a picnic and ramble around the sculpture garden..........which depicts sinners being eviscerated wholesale in the Buddhist underworld.

Other attractions are arsonists transforming into snakes, and dogs eating a lost soul's giant testicles and 21 life-size sinners, whose heads have been turned into various animals according to their misdeeds. Thieves are transformed into monkeys; the dishonest into toads; the corrupt into pigs.

And don’t forget to take the kiddlies....

Left to the land of hard nuts

Fancy a musical pee?

A new urinal has appeared that lets you play a pee riff, take aim and fire at any one of the six targets to mix up a combination of pre-recorded riffs and solos for as long as you can keep going.

You can even download and share it on your MPee3 player.

But you will need your passport, Guitar Pee was made especially for Brazil’s Billboard magazine and the porcelain urinal is onlyavailable in touring bars in São Paulo.

Always a dahn side...

And finally:

Up a bit

Taco Bell has launched a new expanded ‘gourmet' menu that includes more premium ingredients like whole black beans, cilantro rice, fire-roasted corn salsa and pico de gallo.

Developed by Chef Lorena Garcia, known to US food TV audiences for her appearance on NBC's America's Next Great Restaurant, the expanded menu called Cantina Bell launches July 5 across the US and includes eight new recipes including:

- Whole black beans with Mexican spices
- Cilantro rice with onion, garlic, and parsley
- Citrus and herb-marinated chicken with tomatillo
- New guacamole made with Hass avocados, jalapenos, cilantro and tomatoes
- Fire-roasted Corn salsa with red and green peppers and spices
- Creamy Cilantro Dressing
- Pico de gallo, diced tomatoes and onions with cilantro, lemon juice and vinegar
- Vegetarian versions of salad bowls and burritos

 

Wonder if she is related to Jamie Oliver....

That’s it: I’m orf to measure the big wall in China

And today’s thought:

Anyone got a Tenalady....

Angus  

Show George the money: Ostrich boomers: Big balloon: Big bog: Nailed dahn in Bulgaria: and Diet glasses.

The usual at the Castle this morn-damp, drear and dodgy, I see that the jubbly thing is finally orf the TV-almost and the world can breathe a sigh of relief.

During lulls in the skywater I popped out to the garden and snapped some more roses that have bloomed, and then retired to the nice warm study.

 

And the interweb thingy is behaving rather badly this non-bank holiday Wednesday.

 Shit for brains Son of a B......aronet and alien reptile in disguise

George (the pills aren’t working at all) Osborne has come up with yet another Piss Poor idea, apparently he wants to use Britain's army of small savers to boost the country's growth prospects.

Knob head has told Treasury officials to find ways to persuade savers to transfer billions of pounds held in bank accounts, building societies and investment funds to new government "growth bonds".

The money would be invested in infrastructure projects such as toll roads, green energy and house building.

Projects that could benefit from the idea include extending London Underground's Northern line to Battersea, a new Thames crossing, toll roads alongside some of the busiest sections of motorway, and significant investment in housing stock. Ministers’ point out that contraction in the building trade led to the double-dip recession.

Oh no it fucking didn’t, it was the lack of money in people’s pockets because of the exorbitant VAT rates, tax on go juice, rising food Leccy and gas prices, spiralling unemployment, wage freezes and the total inability of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition to realise that the less we have in our pockets the less we will spend.

A bunch of inept, inexperienced, in the money wankers....

Meanwhile, according to “experts”

People in their 60s are “burying their heads in the sand” when it comes to their health, doctors warn.

Allegedly the “sorry to bother you doctor” culture means many are risking their health, found the study, published to coincide with the Diamond Jubilee.

The Department of Health poll found a third of those in their 60s put off going to see their GP in the hope that a problem would just go away.

Almost two-thirds (62 per cent) thought health problems were “inevitable” in one’s 60s - an attitude that was particularly prevalent among men, with 71 per cent thinking so.

One in 10 said they would rather not know if a problem was serious - even though doctors have much more success if they diagnose life-threatening conditions like heart disease and cancer early.

Ministers are now working on a new initiative for Change4Life, its healthy lifestyle campaign, aimed specifically at older people.

Or is it that it takes about a week to get an appointment with your GP, and when you finally get to see him/her all they do is nag you about smoking, drinking and becoming a vegetarian because the PPPMCC insists?

Left to the home of the gasbag and the land of surveillance

 The U.S. Army is expected to test launch a new-generation surveillance blimp designed to float above warzones, intercepting communications and monitoring people on the ground below.

Up to three so-called “Long Endurance Multi-Intelligence Vehicles” were commissioned by the Army in 2010 as part of a $517 million deal cut with defence and aerospace manufacturer Northrop Grumman. The 300-foot-long, unmanned, helium-filled airship, Grumman claims, will “shape the future” of the military’s intelligence-gathering capabilities—adding a new dimension to its existing fleet of surveillance aircraft by providing a “persistent unblinking stare” from the sky.

A prototype LEMV is set to take off sometime between June 6 and 10 from New Jersey's Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst before heading to Florida to be fitted with “a custom-designed gondola containing the blimp’s cameras and radios,” according to Wired. If the trial run on domestic soil is successful, it is thought the airships will then be sent to Afghanistan.

Wonderful; $517 million on something that could be brought dahn with a bow and arrow, a crossbow, a rifle or a missile because the bleedin thing only travels at the speed of a three legged tortoise...

East to the land that allegedly doesn’t glow anymore

Someone with radiation poisoning is building the biggest public restroom in the world, set on a plot of land measuring 200 square meters, and costing US$125,000.

They say that a 6.5-foot wall will shield women from prying eyes and that there is also a curtain they can use to further protect themselves while in the glass-encased toilet.

Surrounded by flowers and plants, the flowery fresh scent will be all that remains after you have used the toilet.

According to an official from the Tourism Promotion Department in Ichihara City, the extravagant toilet enclosure and its picturesque surroundings were created as a tourist attraction at next year’s Ichihara City Art Festival, a government-led initiative to “help improve the area through the renovation of public facilities with the help of arts.” 

Rubbery; we chaps however will be banned as it is for “ladies” only.

Left a fair way and up more than a whimsy

According to Bozhidar Dimitrov, head of the National History Museum in the Bulgarian capital Sofia, two skeletons from the Middle Ages have been discovered near the Black Sea town of Sozopol.

"These two skeletons stabbed with rods illustrate a practice which was common in some Bulgarian villages up until the first decade of the 20th century," said Mr Dimitrov.

Widespread superstition led to iron rods being hammered through the chest bones and hearts of those who did evil during their lifetimes for fear they would return after death to feast on the blood of the living.

In 2004, archaeologist Petar Balabanov unearthed six nailed-down skeletons at a site near the eastern town of Debelt.

He said the pagan rite also was practised in neighbouring Serbia and other Balkan countries.

People believed the rod would pin them down to prevent them from leaving their graves at midnight and terrorising people as they slept, the historian explained.

 

Unfortunately it didn’t work because they all moved to Blighty and now call themselves the ‘Coalition’.

And finally:

Back over to the land where radiation isn’t affecting people at all

Goggles that trick the wearer into thinking the plain snack in their hand is a chocolate cookie, or make biscuits appear larger have been unveiled in Japan, offering hope to weak-willed dieters everywhere.

Researchers at the University of Tokyo have developed devices that use computer wizardry and augmented reality to fool the senses and make users feel more satisfied with smaller -- or less appealing -- treats.

On one device goggle-mounted cameras send images to a computer, which magnifies the apparent size of the cookie in the image it displays to the wearer while keeping his hand the same size, making the snack appear larger than it actually is.

In experiments, volunteers consumed nearly 10 percent less when the biscuits they were eating appeared 50 percent bigger.

They ate 15 percent more when cookies were manipulated to look two-thirds of their real size.

Users can set the device to their favourite taste so they think they are eating a chocolate or strawberry-flavoured cookie.

Hirose says experiments so far have shown 80 percent of subjects are fooled.

The team has no plans as yet to commercialise their invention, but would like to investigate whether people wanting to lose weight can use the device.

Err no.......

That’s it: I’m orf to get some willow glass

And today’s thought:

Olympic ostrich

Angus

Kit Kat healthcare: Boldly gone: See You charm school: Copenhaver Castle: Universal plug socket: and Flower power.

Lots of lack of temperature at the Castle this morn, a smidge of atmospheric movement and no wet stuff-yet, apparently the thingy in the Smoke is still dragging on minus Phil the Greek, but her Maj and the rest of her German family will be gathered in Christopher Wrens place for a while followed by a carriage procession and, weather allowing, an RAF flypast. 

Another reason to do away with the License fee...

Dahn in Devon

Torbay ‘Orspital was named acute healthcare organisation of the year in 2011 and about 20 of the hospital's staff celebrated at the awards in London.

South Devon Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust, which runs Torbay Hospital, was recognised in the Health Service Journal awards for "best innovation, ideas and dedication". 

And the reward for the hard working health care staff? -a Kit Kat.

Paul Raybould, from the GMB, said: "Management got a slap-up meal and we got only a 60p Kit Kat.

Chief executive of Torbay Hospital Paula Vasco-Knight said the gift had been "misinterpreted" and she had received hundreds of emails from staff thanking her.

She said: "It's a way of thanking everyone - lots of 'thank yous’ to show that we really appreciate staff.

But not that much apparently.....

Left a lot to the Big Apple

The space shuttle ­Enterprise passes the gateway to New York Harbour on its final journey to a city museum.

It was towed by barge and went past some of the city’s most famous landmarks including the Statue of Liberty, Coney Island and underneath the Verrazano Bridge.

The Enterprise was en route to the Intrepid Sea Air and Space Museum where it will go on display to the public.

How the mighty have fallen....

Back in jubbly Blighty and Norf of the border

Up to 10,000 Glaswegians – from waitresses to taxi drivers – are to be sent on a charm school course where they will be taught how to speak properly, project positive body language and maintain eye contact while talking to visitors as part of the preparations for the 2014 Commonwealth Games.

Over the next two years, the aim is to train thousands of service staff to be polite, helpful and charming to tourists. They will be tutored on accepting compliments gracefully, remembering people’s names and offering tips about tourist hotspots. As part of the course they will also be required to complete a quiz about Glasgow, make pledges on how they can improve their behaviour in the future, and asked to sign off contact with a cheery “enjoy the rest of your day”.

The one-day class, entitled Glasgow Welcomes, costs £25 per person and is based on principles created by the Walt Disney Company.

Mickey Mouse politics....

Back over to the left

A Camelback Mountain castle that has been a financial nightmare for its owners has sold for $1.45 million.

Robert Pazderka bought the 7,900-square-foot Copenhaver Castle on the south-western flank of the mountain and expects to spend $3 million to $5 million renovating the unusual stone fortress with its secret passages, dungeon and a spa the size of a moat in the living room.

It was built by Dr. Mort Copenhaver, an orthodontist, over the course of a decade starting in 1967. The castle sits 1,200 feet above Camelback Road and includes turrets, a drawbridge fire escape and a fireplace that at one time included a 17-foot waterfall.

The property has been a financial albatross for its three previous owners.

Copenhaver put his castle up for sale in 1985 for $7 million, a princely sum at the time, but two years later cut the price to $2.5 million. No buyer emerged, and Copenhaver lost the 1.1-acre property in a bankruptcy when his dental franchise business collapsed.

Jerry Mitchell, who helped develop the Rawhide theme park in Scottsdale, bought the bank-owned castle in 1989 for $985,000 through his Camelback Castle Corp. That entity filed for bankruptcy in 2004.

The Old Standard Life Insurance Co. picked up Copenhaver Castle for $2.6 million in 2005. It was foreclosed on again and sold as an asset of the stockholders when the insurance company was liquidated.

Time to move?

East to the land of many people and returned rubbish

Apparently the Chinese have managed to produce a universal plug socket, which can take Blighty three pin, American two pin, slanted two pin round pin, square pin and any other type of pin you could think of.... 

Wonderful...mind you what the voltage is only him/her upstairs knows....

And finally:

Up from dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire

Those tempted to stray among the dazzling display of bluebells at Longleat safari park would think twice with this prowling lion, one of a pride of 12, keeping guard.

“Although the warning signs clearly have no effect on the lions, we hope they will raise a smile among our visitors,” said Ian Turner, deputy head keeper at the Wiltshire attraction.

Pussy posy protector....

That’s it: I’m orf to have a lucid dream.

And today’s thought:

Having a jubbly time.

Angus