What’s up Doc: What’s his name goes gay: Swamp soccer: Penny Mortgage: Caged car: and the Radio controlled Model bramble ramble rescue.

Wet, cold and windy at the Castle this morn, it chucked it dahn most of the night and will apparently chuck it dahn for most of today. 

Oh to be in England now that Summers Gorn.....

All across the almost privatised NHS

It seems that one in five junior doctors are carrying out operations and procedures which are beyond their capabilities.

A ten-year-study tracking the training of junior doctors by the British Medical Association they were asked to look after complex patients, carry out procedures and make decisions that were beyond them.

One in five junior doctors who were in their first year of specialty training, three years after graduating, said they had been given tasks beyond the capabilities

Overall one in ten junior doctors said they have been faced with tasks that were beyond them.

One doctor said they were solely responsible at night in an emergency department all year, despite guidance saying this should not happen.

Another, training in dermatology, was responsible for out of hour’s duties in the stroke and spinal units of a hospital. The unnamed doctor said: "These are both highly specialised and not at all relevant to (my) job at the time. Only one morning's training given."

Another said they were dealing with 'very complex patients undergoing procedures' with 'very limited clinical experience and no senior support'.

I had suspicions of this some nine years ago, but no one listened, especially the ‘Orspital knobs.

What’s his name-the Deputy Prime Monster

Has apparently come out at last, and flew a rainbow coloured flag over his office in Whitehall for the first time on Friday, hailing a “new era" of gay pride.

The Deputy Prime Minister flew the flag - a symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender pride - to coincide with London’s gay pride event this weekend was a “small but important emblem”.

After he called for churches and other religious premises to be allowed to host gay weddings thingy said he was delighted to be “flying this iconic flag in the heart of Whitehall”. 

I had my suspicions a few years ago but no one listened, especially the other Eton chap.....

East to the place where the last dry Olympics took place

After the European footy thingy the swamp soccer tournament has begun.

More than 32 teams entered the mud competition, currently in its second year, held in the Chinese capital of Beijing.

Playing in a 25m x 15m swamp, the mud-lovers compete in 30-minute games consisting of two 12-minute halves, sandwiched between a six-minute half-time break.

With no offside rule or penalty spot, there's bound to be a few swamp competitors playing dirty, as well as a few tough tackles inside the area.

Swamp soccer is thought to have started in north-east England as a fitness exercise for soldiers.

The first official organised game took place in Finland in the late 1990s, with the craze later sweeping across the globe from the UK to Brazil.

There are currently an estimated 260 registered swamp soccer teams around the globe.

 

Maybe they could start one at Silverstone this weekend or the Olympics.

West to the home of the Prime and the land of the Toxic

A Massachusetts man who pledged to make the last mortgage payment on his home with pennies has fulfilled that promise.

After warning his bank, Thomas Daigle dropped off about 62,000 pennies weighing 800 pounds in two boxes for the final payment on the Milford home he and his wife, Sandra, bought in 1977.

He tells The Milford Daily News he just wanted to make his last payment on April 24 "memorable."

He started saving his pennies when he moved in.

The optician says his wife laughed whenever he would pick up a penny he found on the ground and say it was going to the mortgage.

Daigle says he's just glad to have the coins out of his house.

Penny for your thoughts?

East about as many miles to its first service

A zoo in central Russia has put a caged car on display next to pumas and iguanas.

In the zoo in Lipetsk region, the cage holding the BMW sedan was adorned with a board reading "Yezdun", a made-up Russian word implying "very bad driving", according to the Gorod48.ru website.

"I drive. I don't think. I can't," the placard reads.

The stunt was to promote an international campaign for safe driving, in which the Lipetsk region is taking part, police said.

"A flagrant traffic offender is more dangerous than any beast," a police spokesman said.

Around 300 people are killed and a further 2,500 crippled every year on the roads of the region, which has a population of 1.2 million.

And all the visitors to the Zoo arrived by........?

And finally:

Back in amateur Blighty

And dahn in Devon; a model aeroplane enthusiast who had to be airlifted from a bramble bush has insisted his rescue was not a waste of public money.

Marcus Wilde had been flying a model aircraft near the Morte Point beauty spot at Woolacombe, Devon, when the plane crash-landed in the bush.

He started his hunt in a patch of soft bracken while being guided by a friend looking down from a slope above him.

However Mr Wilde could not see a 15ft drop in front of him and tumbled down the bank into the two-metre deep bramble patch.

He said "I was completely stuck upside down and covered in cuts. My clothes were ripped to pieces. The more I struggled, the worse it got.

He remained stuck upside down in the bush for more than an hour before the rescue helicopter came to his aid.

He said he was "angry and annoyed" with people who had labelled the rescue a waste of public money.

"This was not a trivial situation and I have found some of the comments against me very offensive."

Twat...

That’s it: I’m orf to get some new legs

And today’s thought:

Submersible Silverstone

Angus

Up your energy bills: Meteosat soars: El Papa in the red: Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop in the can: Some Old Russian Geysers: and Driving into the office.

Atmospheric conditions are back to “normal” at the Castle this morn-cold, cloudy, damp and dismal. The garden is still in need of a ginormous fettling but, unless I use a rowboat to do it there isn’t much of a chance.

Knobhead U-Turn Cam has it seems

Managed to increase our ‘Energy Bills’ by more than a few squids per annus horriblis as his shit for brains scheme for simpler gas and electricity deals threatens to backfire.

Consumer groups yesterday warned that government plans to offer fewer, simpler tariffs will leave many people “much worse off” as energy companies scrap discounts and cheaper online deals.

The warning comes as the Prime Minister prepares to meet the bosses of Britain’s biggest energy companies to discuss soaring gas and electricity bills, which remain at near highs of £1,300 a year per household.

According to the Torygraph major suppliers have already begun quietly removing their best tariffs from the market, including many “fixed” and online saver deals.

According to USwitch, the price comparison website, hundreds of thousands of British Gas, E.On and EDF customers have seen the very cheapest bills rise by an average of £249 since September 2010, a third more than customers on standard tariffs.

In a second blow for bill-payers Ofgem, the energy regulator, is trying to abolish discounts worth up to £130 for around 20 million customers on standard gas and electricity deals.

Four in five British homes are on these deals, qualifying for discounts if they have “dual fuel” accounts, settle bills promptly and opt for paperless billing.

Under current plans, customers on these tariffs would no longer get money off for any of these options.

They would also lose discounts for using energy at off-peak times, collecting loyalty points or low consumption rates.

The plans were drawn up by Ofgem, after the Prime Minister last year urged companies to “clear up their bewildering array of tariffs and special offers”.

Fuckwits U-Turn Cam and Chris (no nuclear) Huhne, the former Energy Secretary, suggested simplifying deals would lead more people to switch their supplier and ultimately save people money.

Since then, Ofgem has argued that scrapping discounts on standard tariffs will give a single clear rate that can be quickly compared across all suppliers.
 

Thanks Dave, you have done it again...will this Piss Poor Policies Coalition Millionaires Club Coalition ever think things through before they vomit their “ideas” into the bucket of the population of dear old Blighty?

According to Auntie

The latest spacecraft in Europe's long-running Meteosat series has just gone into orbit on an Ariane rocket.

It is now being manoeuvred into a position some 36,000km above the Earth from where it can keep a constant watch on developing weather systems.

The spacecraft is the 10th Meteosat platform to go into service since 1977.

Its pictures will soon be feeding into the daily forecasts provided to the public by national meteorological agencies right across Europe.

That’ll help-I can do the weather for nowt-just have a look out of the window.....

Dahn quite a lot to the right hand side of the Med

Allegedly the place where ex-Nazi El Papa lives has registered one of its worst budget deficits in years, plunging back into the red with a (EURO) 15 million ($19 million) deficit in 2011 after a brief respite of profit.

The Vatican on Thursday blamed the poor outcome on high personnel and communications costs and adverse market conditions, particularly for its real estate holdings.

Not even a (EURO) 50 million gift to the pope from the Vatican bank and increased donations from dioceses and religious orders could offset the expenses and poor investment returns, the Vatican said in its annual financial report.

The Vatican said it ran a (EURO) 14.9 million deficit in 2011 after posting a surplus of (EURO) 9.85 million in 2010. The 2010 surplus, however, was something of an anomaly. In 2009 the Vatican ran a deficit of (EURO) 4.01 million, in 2008 the deficit was (EURO) 0.9 million and in 2007 it was nearly (EURO) 9.1 million.

Seems that Him/Her upstairs maybe a Banker.....

West to the home of the weird and the land of mug shots

The Capital Times reports that Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was arrested last week after residents complained of excessive drinking and drug use near Reynolds Park in Madison. Authorities say he was arrested in another local park last April after police found a loaded handgun in his backpack.

He's tentatively charged with carrying a concealed knife, and possession of drug paraphernalia and marijuana.

Beezow is in the Doo-Doo then...

East lots of imperial miles and then some more

In the Kamchatka Peninsula of Russia is the only geyser field in Eurasia and the second largest concentration of geysers in the world. Approximately 200 geysers exist in the area along with many hot-water springs and perpetual spouters.

The valley is one of the few places in the world where geysers occur naturally, along with Yellowstone National Park in the U.S. and sites in Iceland, Chile, and New Zealand. In Kamchatka more than 20 large jets and 200 smaller thermal springs punch through Earth's crust in a 2.7-square-mile (7-square-kilometer) area.

Over thirty geysers have been named; among these was the Giant geyser (Velikan), capable of producing a jet of water reaching up to 40 meters. At least 20 such geysers erupt on a stretch of the Geysernaya River Basin in the Valley of Geysers, along with dozens of smaller gushing vents and hundreds of hot springs. The largest of these geysers erupts with 60 tons of water once or twice a year.

But at least it is warm there-who says you can’t learn anything on this blog?

And finally:

Back in the Norf of submerged Blighty

An out of control Volkswagen Sharan mounted the pavement and crashed into the reception area of John Stokes Ltd in Tipton, West Midlands on Tuesday.

The footage of the crash, which was captured on firm's CCTV, showed a woman walking in front of the business just seconds before the people carrier drove into it.

The vehicle is seen tearing through bricks and windows before being brought to an abrupt halt by a metal safe.

Minutes before the crash, business owner Dene Stokes, 59, was standing in the reception area, which had undergone a £25,000 refurbishment the previous month, with a client.

At the time the people carrier hit the building he was on the phone talking to his son.

Should have had a No Parking sign on the front of the building...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to check out some Gluons and Muons

And today’s thought:

Catching the Javelin Olympics

Angus

Higgs Boson-maybe: Anybody here seen.....150,000 immigrants?: Chuffin Golden handcuffs: Free-ish boat: Numpty Mondeo owner: 'Snow joke-cupid stunt: and How not to run the 110m hurdles.

The sun has got his hat on-orf-on-orf at the Castle this morn; instead of skywater we have oodles of moist atmosphere, no breeze and not a lot of temperature.

More than a bit late this Thursday, been dahn to Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run which was a bit confusing because they have stopped stocking his fave Whiskas jelly meat selection and whacked up the price of all the other flavours to £4.39-robbing bastards.

So it looks as if I am orf to Pets at home later.

And the interweb thingy is as slow as the intellect of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition today.

Here is a nice pic of some strawberries from the underwater garden, this is actually the second crop-I ate the first lot before I remembered to photograph them.

And apparently “they” have found the Higgs Boson-or maybe not

Scientists at Cern (European Organization for Nuclear Research) are confident that they have discovered a new sub-atomic particle and a boson (those which carry forces) but the question of whether it is the Higgs boson or not remains unconfirmed.

"We are very careful in not stating that it is the Higgs boson. It could be the Higgs boson, but I am pretty convinced it is a Higgs boson," Rolf Heuer, director-general of Cern, which operates the LHC, told BBC News.

"Our famous Standard Model contains only one Higgs. That would be the Higgs boson. But there are extensions to the Standard Model, which we need because [this theory] is not everything.

"There could be many more Higgs bosons."

Indeed, according to one idea, there could be five Higgs bosons with similar masses but different electric charges. But there are many other possible schemes to describe the "new physics" that must lie beyond the best theory of how the Universe works. 

That’s clarified that then...

And the UK border agency

Has allegedly managed to lose track of about 150,000 foreign nationals staying on after their visas expired, Immigration minister Damian Green blamed the last government - but Labour said the report was damning.

The latest report from the inspector focuses on a previously unknown problem in the UKBA, concerning people from outside Europe who have deadlines to leave the UK.

Many of these people are students and if they do not leave when told to do so, they are added to the "migration refusal pool" (MRP).

They are probably still in the queue at Heathrow....

The knobs at the top of Network Rail

Are seeking long-term bonuses of almost £12 million on top of two other reward schemes for bosses at the taxpayer-funded company.

It emerged this week that the rail operator wants to pay £1.7 million to directors for their work over the last three years and £900,000 in “golden handcuffs” to make sure three bosses stay until 2014.

Now the company has confirmed it is also seeking permission to pay executives up to £11.7 million in future, prompting calls for Justine Greening, the Transport Secretary, to intervene.

The company is backed with £4 billion of taxpayer money and will also benefit from fares increasing up to 11 per cent this year.

Under the plans, a group of up to six bosses, including chief executive Sir Dave Higgins, would share up to £2.4 million every year for five years if they hit performance targets.

 

Still-we are all still in this together....wonder if “Sir” Dave is related to El Papa?

West to the place where it is warm, wet and salty

Jack Roberts’ has posted on Craigslist that he is giving his boat away, snag is the 16-foot fishing boat capsized Sunday about 2 miles off-shore near the old Destin Bridge rubble reef in the Gulf of Mexico.

“The Coast Guard said if the boat doesn’t come out of the water, they’re going to charge me with a crime,” he told the paper. “And somebody can sue me if they hit the boat.”

Roberts said he posted his Craigslist ad to avoid a $2,400 salvage fee. He is offering the title to the watercraft, as well as $2,000 worth of fishing gear and $800 cash left aboard, to anyone who can successfully retrieve the vessel and its loot.

Caveat Emptor....

Back in the Smoke

When Mr Razi's car broke down in Storey's Gate, he slipped a note on the dashboard explaining 'this car is broken. I am just waiting for the AA to arrive. Please do not fine! Thank you, yours sincerely'.

He then decided to pay a visit to Buckingham Palace, just a five minute stroll away.

While he was gone, police spotted the car and deciding it was a security risk to the nearby Houses of Parliament, evacuated the area so they could carry out a controlled explosion.

When Mr Razi - a MBA student at the University of Wales visiting London for just 24 hours - returned from his sightseeing trip, he found swarms of police officers scouring the remains of his mangled car.

To add insult to injury - a traffic warden arrived on the scene and issued him a ticket, after being alerted by the police.

If I had a Mondeo I would blow it up as well...

Somewhere in Cupid Stunt land

A Russian base jumper leaps orf a 120 metre pylon, his parachute fails to open and he does a nice belly flop into the snow.

A sickening thud can just about be made out as he hits the ground, with a dusting of snow visibly rising from the ground on impact.

But the “lucky” Numpty fractured his vertebrae, pelvis and legs and was walking again after a three month recovery period.

Bet that stung....

And finally:

East to the land that may not do too well in the London Olympics

A young student at the Chinese University Games appears to forget the basic premise of the 110m hurdles.

After he hit the first two hurdles, the unidentified competitor decided to dispense with hurdling altogether and simply sprinted through the remaining barriers chest first.

He successfully negotiated four hurdles in the fashion, and even managed to catch up with the leaders before the seventh hurdle sent him tumbling into a neighbouring competitor's lane.

Unperturbed, the athlete then clattered the final hurdle whilst still in the wrong lane before finally crossing the finish line in a remarkable sixth place.

That’s it (at last): I’m orf to gather moss from old poo

And today’s thought:

Hit me with your rhythm stick Wimbledon.

Angus  

SuperTwat U-Turn Cam: Exploding teenagers: Seeing-eye Horse: Japanese body art: Dancing tanks: and an atomic threesome.

One guess as to the weather at the Castle this morn, dry, warm and sunny comes nowhere near it, I think all this skywater may be my fault; I lost my head and purchased a new pair of shorts and since then it hasn’t stopped pissing dahn, or it could be Wimbledon or even the nearly here Olympics, it certainly isn’t global warming otherwise it would be hot......wouldn’t it?

His Maj is so fed up that he has turned into a rug cat

And the saddest sight in the garden-strawberries in the rain.

Apparently shit for brains U-Turn Cam

Will do 'whatever it takes' to protect busted Blighty from the Greeks, he was speaking after Theresa May was accused of stoking racial tensions and even risking Britons' Greek summer holidays after she used an interview with the Daily Telegraph to announce emergency immigration controls in the event of the failure of the euro.

Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister, appeared to back away from the proposal, saying that the Government was merely "monitoring the situation".

Appearing before the Commons Liaison Committee, Mr Cameron was asked which version was correct – and he backed Mrs May.

 Right up to the point that he doesn’t.......

Over in the home of “research” and the land of the “expert”

A new study, based on a household survey of 10,148 young teenagers in the US, found that nearly two thirds had a history of anger attacks involving real or threatened violence.

It also found that one in 12 met strict criteria for a diagnosis of IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder). Across the US, that would equate to almost six million individuals.

IED, recognised as an impulse control disorder, usually begins in late childhood and persists through the middle years of life.

To be diagnosed with IED, a person must at any time in life have had three episodes of ''grossly out of proportion'' impulsive aggressiveness.

Just ‘normal’ teenagers then.......

Still in the place where horsing around is king

The first U.S. school for guide dog training, named The Seeing Eye, opened its doors in 1929 and has been in business since.

But not all people like dogs, and this includes some of the visually impaired and those with other disabilities which call for a service animal. So what other options are out there?

Meet the guide mini-horse.

The Guide Horse Foundation in North Carolina notes that guide horses are useful for about thirty years compared to around a dozen for dogs, making them arguably more cost effective over their useful lifespan. But there are downsides. The miniature horses need to live outside and require a lot more space than a guide dog, which can live in a small apartment without much difficulty.



They also have the need to relieve themselves more often than dogs.

No shit...sorry loads of shit.....

East to the land where radiation has had no effect on the population at all

Chooo-san, as people call her, doesn’t need to bother with photo-shopping her pictures because she has an, unusual “talent”.

With nothing more than acrylic paint, she can turn herself into a battery-operated Cyborg or even into an alien with many eyes.

Hmmm

 

Up more than a smidge and left a fair way

Russian tanks show off their moves at an artillery show in Moscow, titled Invincible and Legendary.

The tanks moved to music in a show in Zhukov sponsored by Russia’s weapons exporting company, Rosoboronexport.

Nice-what I want to know is where they got a space shuttle from.....

And finally: 

Forget the almost Higgs Boson

A Kansas State University-led quantum mechanics study has discovered a new bound state in atoms that may help scientists better understand matter and its composition.

The yet-unnamed bound state, which the physicists simply refer to as “our state” in their study, applies to three identical atoms loosely bound together — behaviour called three-body bound states in quantum mechanics. In this state, three atoms can stick together in a group but two cannot. Additionally, in some cases, the three atoms can stick together even when any two are trying to repel each other and break the connection.

“It’s really counterintuitive because not only is the pair interaction too weak to bind two atoms together, it’s also actively trying to push the atoms apart, which is clearly not the goal when you want things to stick together,” said Brett Esry, university distinguished professor of physics at Kansas State University and the study’s lead investigator.

Always wanted to watch a threesome....see pic...

That’s it: I’m orf to buy some seaweed toothpaste

And today’s thought:

Solo Tantric sex Olympics

Angus

Home NHS: Ticket to housing: No Mermaids-official: Fast read: and ET is home.

Still chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, spent the last couple of days orf doing “things” including a couple of hours and a quid or two having my annual Cholesterol fasting blood test up at the non magical Aldershot Centre for Elf where I sat with all the other “donors” in the cellar waiting for the “cashier number 2” board to announce my ticket number, listening to some inane “local” radio station and watching the receptionists (one of whom came in late) making themselves coffee and ignoring the ever ringing phones.

Which brings me onto other bits of the nearly privatised NHS

Hospitals are likely to see ward closures and fewer beds under the Coalition’s controversial NHS reforms, Andrew Lansley has admitted.

The Health Secretary argued the coming shake-up of the NHS would lead to “better services”, as more people will be treated in the home, rather than hospitals.

He has promised to protect “frontline services”, but around 60 hospitals are suffering dire financial problems because of deals sign with private companies under Labour.

The Health Secretary said whole hospitals would not “necessarily” close down because of financial pressures gripping the NHS.

However, wards and beds may shut as more people will be treated for health problems by GPs and at home under the reforms.

“If you have more services provided in the community, you will have less happening in hospitals,” he told LBC Radio. “That may mean wards shutting down, that might mean fewer beds."

The Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition argues the proposed legislation will give GPs greater control over treatment and make the health service more efficient.

According to a Labour “spokesperson”

“Before the last election David Cameron promised a bare knuckle fight against hospital closures," he said. "Now that those very A&Es and maternity wards are closing one by one, it’s clear this was yet another cynical promise on the NHS.”

So keep a room spare if you ever need an operation.....but don’t worry abaht our shit for brains “leaders”, they all have BUPA.

A story for the baby boom bashers 

First orf have a read of THIS over at Orphans of Liberty.

And then peruse the story below. 

A couple who were priced out of the housing market have spent £11,000 turning a double-decker bus into a home.

The self employed auto-electrician was desperate to move in with girlfriend, Stacey Drinkwater, 20, but the young couple couldn't afford to buy anywhere.

They couldn't save enough for a deposit and found it impossible to get a mortgage from the bank as Daniel is self employed so the electrician decided to buy the double-decker bus last October despite his mum telling him it was 'barmy idea'.

Daniel and Stacey now live in the converted 1991 Leyland Olympia and say they could not be happier with their solution to the plight facing first time buyers.

The bus, which was used on routes in Dublin and East Sussex is now kitted out with a double bedroom, a twin bedroom, kitchen, TV lounge, bar, toilet and bathroom.

It has full plumbing running throughout, a 220 litre water tank, and can be connected to mains electricity to power lights and appliances.

The kitchen has a hob, cooker, fridge and a sink with running water.

The vehicle is currently based on a plot of land, which the couple rent on the outskirts of Canterbury.

 Stacey said: 'I love it.

My friends love it everyone thinks it is just a brilliant idea.

'Our mates who also struggle with high house prices even want to come and build their own house bus and live next to us.

 

So BBB’s use a bit of what is laughingly called your brain, get orf your arses and do something instead of blaming everyone else...

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration there are no Mermaids

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the federal agency declares in a statement on its website.

NOAA, better known for issuing reports on such topics as fishery stocks and climate trends, was apparently moved to wade into the mermaid debate by an Animal Planet special that made the case for the mythical creatures’ existence. The special, called “Mermaids: The Body Found,” threw together “evidence” such as cave drawings, injuries to beached whales, and mysterious deep-ocean bloops to paint what it calls “a wildly convincing picture of mermaids, what they may look like, and why they’ve stayed hidden… until now.”

Glad that’s sorted out then....

Left a lot and dahn to the place that wants the Falklands

An Indie Argentinean publishing house has come up with an “innovative concept”, using disappearing ink that fades away in two months time.

Dubbed “El Libro que No Puede Esperar” (The Book That Can’t Wait), this “interesting” format was pioneered by independent Argentinean publishing house Eterna Cadencia, as a way to promote young authors, who ”if people don’t read their first books, never make it to a second.”

The books come sealed in a plastic wrapper, and once that is removed and the books cracked for the first time, the ink begins to age and in 60 days time readers are left with nothing but the covers and a bunch of blank pages. So if you want to get your money’s worth, you really can’t put one of these books down too often, after you’ve bought it.

Cupid stunt?

 

And finally: 

According to “experts”

There could be four intelligent alien civilizations in our galaxy.

That’ll make four then......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to paint a battery on my torch

And today’s thought:

HELP! Our horses are drowning Olympics

Angus

Royal Fail strikes again: “national retirement service”: Talking toilet mints: $168,000 a bottle plonk: Big jumping De-daw: and searching for Mokele-mbeme.

Wet, cold, dingy and dismal at the Castle this morn, the Honda is still covered in yellow stuff despite the skywater, his Maj is sulking on the sofa and the elbow is finally fixed.

Weeks after the cost of a First Class stamp increased from 46p to 60p and Second Class from 36p to 50p.

The Royal Fail has come up with another Cupid Stunt ploy to screw the public.

They have cut nearly 6,500 collections at the UK’s 115,000 post boxes last year, and brought forward final collection times at thousands more post boxes to save money.

In some rural parts of the country the last post is now being picked up as early as nine in the morning, Royal Mail admitted.

Royal Mail cut collections at nearly 6,453 post boxes and moved the last post to earlier in the day at 4,287 post boxes in the 12 months to 27 February 2012.

I suppose they have to pay for postman Pat’s pensions somehow.....

 

And talking of Cupid Stunts

Ex Prime Monster’s Big Society tsar “Lord” (U-Turn Cam is my mate) Wei reckons that Baby boomers should be encouraged to complete “national service” for pensioners after they retire.

And that old farts should be working part-time, volunteering for charities, or sharing their business experience with young entrepreneurs would help older people avoid boredom in retirement.

A pilot project is being established to develop the “national retirement service” concept, which would begin by targeting new pensioners on cruises, or other holidays and leisure activities.

They would then be encouraged to make contact with others in the same age group living nearby to discuss what to do with the years ahead.

Lord Wei’s plan could win support in government as ministers are sympathetic to moves to encourage older people to volunteer in retirement.

The Tory peer said ensuring 55-65 year-olds continue to be engaged in the lives of younger people was essential to avoid “war” between generations.

His plan followed a call from the minister for civil society, Nick Hurd, who suggested last year that the baby boom generation should volunteer when they retire instead of spending all their free time playing golf.

Fuck orf you pair of twats; aren’t fifty bleedin years working your nuts orf enough for you Thatcher generation Pillocks...

Left to the place where taking a pee can be confusing

Michigan is hoping to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special bathroom message.

The state says talking urinal-deodorizer cakes have been distributed to Michigan Licensed Beverage Association members in Wayne, Bay, Ottawa and Delta counties. A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely.

The messages are part of a state wide Fourth of July education and enforcement effort. A kickoff is planned Monday at Detroit pub The Old Shillelagh.

What abaht the “ladies” then....

Dahn Unda

The most expensive wine ever sold directly from a winery will go on sale this week, from the Australian vintner Penfolds. The limited edition release of the 2004 Penfolds Block 42 Cabernet Sauvignon is priced at $168,000 a bottle.

The wine’s distinctive price comes from its rarity. The wine was made from the oldest producing cabernet sauvignon vines in the world, transplanted from France to Australia in the 1830s.

Later planted at the Kalimna Vineyard in the Barossa Valley, northeast of Adelaide, the vines today provide unequalled juice, but little of it. Only 12 bottles of the 2004 vintage will be sold.

To add further cachet, Penfolds commissioned an ampoule of scientific grade glass to hold it from three Australian artists: Nick Mount, who designed and hand-blew the glass; silversmith Hendrik Forster, who prepared the precious metal detailing; and furniture craftsman Andrew Bartlett, made the bespoke Jarrah cabinet.

Wonder what Danger Mouse would say.....

 

Big, nasty jumping arachnid

And finally:

Right to the place that rhymes with bongo

A team of explorers is setting out to discover once and for all whether Africa’s monster known as Mokele-mbeme is fact or fiction.

The team of Dino hunters arrived in the Congo capital of Brazzaville on Tuesday with an array of firearms for protection.

‘It would be wholly unwise to travel where we are going without firearms,’ said spokesman for the group Joe Marrero, 28.

‘We plan to be in the jungle for three months searching for the mokele and other new species and can only carry so much food.’

He and two others - expedition leader and biologist Stephen McCullah, 21, and Sam Newton, 22, all from the US - begin their search next month.

Good luck with that...

That’s it: I’m orf to snap the speed of light 

And today’s thought;

I'll scratch my bum wimbledon.

Angus