Pistorfius up before the beak: The ‘Orse meat list: Hook, line and sinker: Foamhenge: Dopey driver: and “Stingray”.

Substantial amounts of solar stuff, sod all atmospheric movement, mournful amounts of lack of cold and not even a dribble of skywater at the Castle this morn, managed to oversleep until 8.30 of the am but at least there be hot water in the pipes, turned out it was an air block in one of the pipes and after a gaseous emission all is now well.

 

I see that the media is in a frenzy about some runner with carbon fibre feet

 

On the serious side-condolences to Reeva Steenkamp’s family.

 

That’s enough of being serious.

Allegedly Oscar Pistorfius got even more pissed orf and shot his girlfriend more than a couple of times.

And is appearing in court even as I write this.

The defence is expected to argue that Mr Pistorius is not a flight risk and should be given bail.

 

All they have to do is confiscate his “blades” and he ain’t going anywhere....

  

Worried about consuming Equine bits?

Auntie has published a list of what and where to avoid (click on the link above), which is a bit pointless if they have all been withdrawn. 

 

Dahn in Dorset

Steve Redhead, 51, was hoping to land some carp fish but became the catch himself after his lead weight snagged on overhanging branches.

He yanked his rod a couple of times to free the line before the bulbous object suddenly flew 50 feet through the air and struck him in the face.

Steve dropped to his knees and thought the object had just grazed him at first until fishing friend Matt Barnes told him it was embedded in his right cheek.

An ambulance was called and Steve, from Weymouth, Dorset, was rushed to hospital to have the 50 gram weight removed.

Luckily, the weight didn't break his cheek bone or jaw or damage any nerves.

Steve, who jet-washes wheelie bins for a living, was told the item could easily have killed him had it hit him in an eye, throat or gone through his mouth

After the accident, which happened at Walley's Carp Lake in Osmington, near Weymouth, Steve was taken to Poole Hospital where he had 12 stitches.

 

Apparently the carp which Steve didn’t catch was “THIS BIG” or it might have been “this big”...

 

Left to the home of not a lot of history and the land of the jealous

 

Photo credit

A full size replica of Stone Henge was built by Mark Cline of Enchanted Castle Studio in 2004, with the pieces in astronomically correct positions. Lest somebody mistook it for the real thing, a sign at the base of the hill cautions: "Please be gentle. It is foam, not stone."

Mark says he went to great pains to shape each 'stone' to its original shape, fact-checking his designs and measurements with the man who gives tours of Stonehenge in England. Each block is set into a hole in the ground and anchored with cement. "I put a 2.5 inch pipe all the way through each one down into the ground, like a nail holding it to the concrete.” And, Mark adds hopefully, "It's non-biodegradable so it might last longer than the original."

 

I do like an optimist....

 

East to the place where Swiss people come from

Manfred Hofer, 49, from Willisau plunged into a stream when he nodded off at the wheel was still asleep when rescuers pulled him out.

Apparently Manfred told police the last thing he could remember was feeling drowsy at the wheel.

Investigators believe he was fast asleep as the car veered off the road, down an embankment and into the stream.

"He says he wasn't aware of anything else until he was woken by the rescue team," said a police spokesman.

"They thought he'd been unconscious but in fact he'd just been sleeping very heavily."

Paramedics say Mr Hofer is recovering from fractures in hospital.

 

But at least he is sleeping well....

 

And finally:

 

Back over to the land of the free and the home of surveillance

Allegedly the FBI is using a secretive new tool. The device, which acts as a fake cell phone tower, essentially allows the government to electronically search large areas for a particular cell phone’s signal—sucking down data on potentially thousands of innocent people along the way. At the same time, law enforcement has attempted use them while avoiding many of the traditional limitations set forth in the Constitution, like individualized warrants. This is why we called the tool “an unconstitutional, all-you-can-eat data buffet.”

Recently, LA Weekly reported the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) got a Department of Homeland Security (DHS) grant in 2006 to buy a stingray. The original grant request said it would be used for “regional terrorism investigations.” Instead LAPD has been using it for just about any investigation imaginable.

In just a four month period in 2012, according to documents obtained by the First Amendment Coalition, the LAPD has used the device at least 21 times in “far more routine” criminal investigations. The LA Weekly reported Stingrays “were tapped for more than 13 percent of the 155 ‘cellular phone investigation cases’ that Los Angeles police conducted between June and September last year.” These included burglary, drug and murder cases.

 

Wouldn’t work here in Blighty-the signals are far too piss poor.

 

That’s it: I’m orf to update the sat-nav

 

And today’s thought:

 

Angus

Mental MPs: Photocopy Pillock: Whistling Otus jolandae: Chocwoccy heels: and Droning on.

Vanishing skywater, verbose atmospheric movement, Volumous lack of warm and not a lot of solar stuff at the Castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn the stables (Tesco), so far this week his food has gorn from £3 to £3.68 per box but if I buy two boxes I can pay £3 each, likewise his Dreamies have gorn from £1 to £1.34 but if I but three packs I can pay for two and get the third one “free”, no bloody wonder Blighty is so ballsed up, you are going to need a PhD in maths just to get your shopping before long-if they haven’t removed everything from the shelves in case ‘Orse bits are involved.

 

Up in the bit next to the leaning tower of Westminster

It seems that some of those who “rule Britannia” are going more than a bit gaga, MPs will be able to access a mental health clinic within Parliament which is being set up to deal with the rising number of politicians approaching doctors about depression and anxiety.

And to prevent Mental MPs from losing their seat on the gravy train on Monday Parliament gave final approval to the Mental Health (Discrimination) Bill, which scraps a law that says MPs automatically lose their seats if they have been sectioned for more than six months, as well as a rule allowing company directors to be removed because of mental illness.

And just to jump the queues for the poor, struggling knobheads “officials” have approved £25,000-a-year funding for the specialist treatment centre which will run alongside conventional GP services.

The body which oversees MPs’ working conditions has agreed to fund treatment such as cognitive behavioural therapy from specialists at St Thomas’s hospital.

A consultant psychiatrist is available at Westminster to diagnose mental health problems and referral for in-patient treatment will also be available, the Commons Members’ Estimate Committee decided.

 

Which may explain why we are so deep in the brown runny stuff.....

 

West to the big bit above the home of bare arms and the land of technology

 

Cops are circulating an image they believe a break-in suspect took of himself with a photocopier -- during the break-in.

It happened very early Sunday at Dan Murphy Ford on Bankfield Rd. in Manotick Ottawa.

The man got in to the dealership by prying open a door -- which triggered the alarm system.

He made off with some items, but police have not said what was stolen.

Investigators believe he photocopied his face and left it behind.

He's described as white with facial hair and was wearing a toque with a football logo on it.

Anyone with information is asked to call Ottawa Police robbery detectives at 613-236-1222 or make an anonymous tip to Crime stoppers at 613-233-TIPS (8477).

Tips leading to an arrest or a charge, qualify for a cash reward of up to $2,000 -- enough to buy a photocopier.

 

Or a ski mask......

 

East many, many miles to the isle of Lombok in Indonesia

“Experts” have apparently discovered a “new” species of Owl that whistles instead of the usual terwit-too-woo, although the owl has been known for at least a century, it has only now been recognised as a new species.

Previously experts had confused the bird, with brown and white feathers and big golden eyes, with a similar looking owl.

Its official name is Otus jolandae but scientists are giving it the common name Rinjani Scops Owl.

Two members of an international team independently recorded the signature whistle in 2003.

Ornithologist George Sangster, from the Swedish Museum of Natural History, said: "It was quite a coincidence that two of us identified this new bird species on different parts of the same island, within a few days of being on the island

 

Yeah-after a century....

 

And west again to the lone star state

Texas chocolatier Andrea Pedrazza has created what can only be considered the perfect (allegedly) Valentine’s Day gift for the ladies – chocolate high-heels.

Master chocolatier Andrea Pedrazza pours the brown goodness into plastic high-heel moulds and decorates them with gourmet ingredients to make them look as realistic as possible.

Her most popular creations are chocolate Christian Louboutin shoes which sell for $35. To recreate the designer’s signature red soles, the food artist uses red ganache. Available styles include simple colours, zebra or cheetah print and polka dots, so men wanting to gift their wives with their favourite shoes for cheap are bound to find something they like.

 

Glad I am foot loose and fancy free...

 

And finally: 

East to the lands where Afghans and Iraqis live

Allegedly nearly 450 British military drones have been lost in Iraq and Afghanistan, The Ministry of Defence has disclosed for the first time the five Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) systems used in the conflicts and the number that have perished due to pilot error, technical faults or the undesirability of retrieving them from hostile areas.

The MoD released details of the UAV incidents under the Freedom of Information Act, conceding that their operations were “viewed by some as contentious and there is therefore strong public interest in being as open and transparent as possible” about their use.

The figures show the military has lost one Reaper drone since 2007 – it is the only UAV that carries Hellfire missiles as well as surveillance and intelligence-gathering equipment. The drone, which has not been replaced, cost £10m.

There have been nine losses of another large UAV; the Hermes 450 Eight of the £1m aircraft were lost in Afghanistan and another in Iraq. The surveillance fleet has halved in size because of the incidents.

The UAV to suffer most is the Desert Hawk 3, a small hand-held UAV used by the army: 412 have crashed or been lost in the last five years. British forces have been using other mini-UAVs, the Black Hornet, and the Tarantula Hawk, in Afghanistan; 25 of them have perished during operations. The Black Hornet is the latest piece of UAV equipment to be deployed in the conflict. A mini-helicopter, it is equipped with a camera which gives troops video and still images.

Soldiers use it to peer around corners or over walls and the images are displayed on a handheld terminal.

A periscope would be much cheaper and you can’t hear it coming...

  

That’s it: I’m orf to demand some TV programmes and a film or two from Tesco

 

Today’s thought:

The anti-depressants are working then.

 

And the last mellow melody for a while

 

 

Angus

The Book-MP prize: Crepe MPs: Iranian Stealth plane-not: Up Helly: Beef emergency: and the dead centre of Paris.

Not a lot of anything at the Castle this morn, no atmospheric movement, no skywater, no solar stuff and just a hint of lack of warm.

His Maj is now 100% fit, we had a bit of a setback but time healed his battered face, but he still won’t go near a window.

 

Up in the bit next to the leaning tower of Westminster

Allegedly the most-borrowed book in the House of Commons library is How To Be An MP, by the veteran Labour parliamentarian Paul Flynn.

The book boasts step-by-step guides on how to placate constituents, advance one's career, claim expenses and fend off an inquisitive press.

 

So that’s who is to blame then.

 

And as Pancake Tuesday came and went

 

Members of the House of Commons beat teams from the House of Lords and the media to win the annual parliamentary pancake race yesterday.

Representatives from the Commons, the Lords and journalists took part in one of the most fiercely contested events in the political calendar, the parliamentary pancake race.

Conservative MP Tracey Crouch, who took part in the race, described it as "über-competitive" and said that she and her team-mates had been "sharpening their elbows".

Their tactics worked, and the MPs crossed the finishing line first.

 

What a load of old crepe....

 

East to the land of space monkeys, cloned drones and un-stealthy planes

Apparently Iran has been caught out in another Photoshop blunder in an effort to prove its purported stealth fighter jet is the real deal.

An Iranian state news agency released a new picture of the radar-dodging jet flying above snow-covered mountains.

 

But the picture was immediately suspected to be fake with the lighting on the plane and its position similar to its appearance in pictures on the ground in Tehran at the unveiling earlier this month.

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad described it as "among the most advanced fighter jets in the world", capable of hitting ground and air targets by stealth, but experts dismissed it as a "laughable fake" which looks like a toy or mock-up model.

Now the new picture has also been laughed off, after it was revealed by The Atlantic Wire that the background image of the mountain was taken from the stock image site PickyWallpapers.com.

Aviation experts have questioned whether the jet shown can even fly as it was too small to accommodate a real pilot and the controls and wiring looked too simple. It also lacked the bolts and rivets found on all aircraft and offered wonky aerodynamics.

You can fool some Iranians some of the time.........

 

Up Norf and even Norfer

The annual Up Helly a fire festival in Lerwick on the Scottish Shetland Islands to pay homage to the country's Viking heritage has occurred; the daylong celebration consists of costumed parties and culminates in a torchlight parade and the burning of a Viking long boat. There are also plenty of kilts, marches to brass band music, even a new beer found only at the event.

At least 5,000 spectators come to watch more than 1,000 torch carrying "Vikings", in silver plates and helmets, with heavy axes and shields, march the galley around the town. Some enact the roles of famous "Jarls" from the local saga, the Orkneyinga. At the climax, all the Vikings throw their flaming torches into the galley. The whole crowd sings Viking songs and the party continues long after the last flames have died away.

 

Bugger-missed it again...

 

West to the bit where ship shape comes from

A pilot performed an emergency landing when a fire warning light came on in his cargo plane over Bristol– but the alert turned out to be a load of old cows.

No blaze was found on board and the pilot later said the alarm may have been triggered over Bristol by extra humidity generated by 390 cows being carried on board

 

But are they real cows-they could be fake cows made up from Yorkshire puddings or Welsh daffodils cunningly disguised.....

 

And finally:

 

East a whimsy to the city of French people

Fancy a stroll over some medieval gravestones-well now you can, “In the heart of l'Ile de la Cite, on the left side of the Cathedral of Notre Dame, a street called Chanoinesse winds its way through the heart of Paris.

A small part of the street was spared by successive urban transformation plans, and as a result it has kept its odd medieval character. This is because, until the XVIII century, this area was the protected domain of Chanoine monks who, isolated from the world, devoted themselves to their work and meditations.

But the monastic past of the street is not the only mystery to be found here: Behind the red door of the building marked number 26, you'll find one of the most unusual and macabre pieces of architecture to be found in the French capital.

A small courtyard rests silently behind the intriguing scarlet door, and the stone laid ground of the courtyard bares some gothic style texts. After a bit of examination, you'll realize their purpose- these are gravestones, which once belonged to churches religious institutions that eventually closed around the 19th century.

Much later, the gravestones were used by the architects of this lovely courtyard to tile the floor. And there they remain to this day, ready to be discovered and explored.”

 

That’s nice and respectful isn’t it?

 

That’s it: I’m orf to make sure the old todger is still attached

 

Today’s thought:

Real Iranian stealth planes

 

And today’s mellow melody

One of my favourites.

 

 

 

Angus

Bye-Bye Benedict: Building the economy-or not: Charlie is Kippered: Global warming-blame the worms: Dick-less Dick-head: PAYG Arsehole: Dining at McDonalds Dahn Unda: and the Rainbow Unicorn cake.

Lots of lack of warm, even more skywater, not even a cough of atmospheric movement and negative solar stuff at the Castle this morn, still no hot water-the “man” can’t get here until Wednesday morn, but he did suggest that I switch on the immersion heater in the tank-my reply was “have you seen the price of Leccy lately” to which he made an odd noise and went away.

 

 

I see that the Ex Nazi Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger (otherwise known as the Ex Nazi Pope Benedict the more than fifteen) has handed in his notice on the grounds that “I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry.”

 

Oh dear. What a shame, maybe he could spend his remaining time contemplating the millions of people murdered by his former employer...

 

All across non-nationalised Blighty

It seems that the same sex marriage of the ConTories and the LibDooms has managed to complete the massive number of seven of the 576 major building projects in the Government's much-trumpeted national infrastructure plan, according to a report out today.

Apparently only 1 per cent of the schemes are operational and just 18 per cent are said to have "started" or to be "under construction", according to data compiled by Labour from Treasury figures.

 

Plan “A” really is working then...

 

Up in the smoky Smoke Old fart Charlie otherwise known as the Duck of Pastyland

 

Has let go of the tree he has been hugging for the last decade or so and is preparing to battle authorities after Britain's oldest working fish smokehouse was shut down after a single resident complained about the smell.

It had survived for more than 130 years and was bombed in the Blitz but Walter Purkis and Sons was told to close by Haringey council following a complaint from a resident in a nearby flat block in Crouch End, North London.

The Purkis family were informed last month the smokehouse was in breach of the Environmental Protection Act 1990 and the Clean Air Act 1993.

But Charlie, who has been said to be a strong supporter of traditional and organic foods, has stepped in to help the owner of the business, John Purkis, whose family has been in the fish business for generations.

Last week a female member of the Prince's staff came to see the Purkis family and asked for details about what had happened.

It was explained that the smokehouse won a reprieve and was once again allowed to produce its kippers, smoked salmon and mackerel. However the family were worried the reversal of the ban may only be temporary.

 

That’s alright then; but are they real fish; could they be fake fish with Romanian slugs and snails and puppy dog tails cunningly disguised , perhaps the dept for Gee-Gee Grub could investigate....

 

According to “Scientists”

 

Human beings are not the only creatures on Earth who cause the climate of the planet to change. Ordinary earthworms also make a significant contribution to global warming. Scientists believe that in the next few decades, the population of earthworms will experience a real boom.

The soil produces about 20 percent of global emissions of carbon dioxide and two-thirds of nitrous oxide. Worms act as architects of this ecosystem. They make the structure soil more porous and interact with microbes that produce carbon dioxide. The presence of invertebrates in the soil is directly related to the amount of carbon dioxide that the soil releases in the atmosphere. Nitrous oxide produces the bacteria that live in the intestines of worms. The concentration of nitrous oxide is three times higher in the places inhabited by earthworms.

A while back, scientists faced the following problem. On the one hand, worms contribute to the growth of emissions in the atmosphere from the soil. On the other hand, then help "recycle" carbon dioxide, hiding it under the ground. This contradiction became known as the "dilemma of earthworms."

In a new study, an international team of scientists from the Netherlands, the U.S. and Colombia analyzed the results of 237 separate experiments that studied the role of earthworms in greenhouse gas emissions, says the Guardian. The researchers carried out experiments on the emissions of all types of gas and found that the worms increase the global-warming potential of soil by 16 percent.

 

And the results could even be worse if the worms drive about in cars...

 

East to the land of Thais

 

A 50-year-old man developed cancer in his genitals, after he injected himself with olive oil to enlarge his penis.

He required emergency surgery to remove his genitals to stop cancer spreading.

He had been injecting his penis with olive oil over a number of years and it had become infected which caused the cancer.

The un-named man had injected his penis with olive oil in a bid to make it bigger.

The procedure is quite common in Thailand, other substances also used include; bees wax, silicone or even paraffin.

There have been reports from one Bangkok hospital that they see up to 40 patients a month suffering from side-effects of this treatment.

 

Sod that....

 

Up a bit to where Sri Lankans come from

A prisoner who tried to hide a mobile phone was caught when guards heard his backside ringing.

The 58-year-old convict was admitted to the national hospital in Colombo where doctors later retrieved the handset from his bottom.

"The man had concealed the phone inside his person," the official said, asking not to be named.

"Unfortunately for him, the phone rang at the wrong time and guards knew he had a phone at the wrong end."

He said the man was in hospital for two days but was discharged and sent back to prison after the mobile phone was removed.

The prisoner was serving a 10-year sentence for theft at the high security Welikada jail in the capital.

 

 Should have put it on vibrate...

 

Dahn Unda

In a world first, a McDonald's franchise in Australia is offering full table service for its dine-in customers, complete with china plates, glassware and metal utensils in place of the more usual paper boxes and plastic.

Meals are also brought to the table by waiters and waitresses, and diners can daintily dab their lips with cloth napkins after eating.

"It's very popular," store manager Michelle Steain told Reuters of the five-week trial service. "Everyone seems to be loving it."

Glenn and Katia Dwarte, owners of the franchise in Warilla, some 100 km (62 miles) south of Sydney, sought permission for the idea after their habit of serving Mr Dwarte's parents with cutlery and plates caught the attention of other diners.

The dine-in offer is open to customers who purchase premium meals between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. each day.

 

Spiffing; what next coffee in cups?

 

And finally:

The rainbow unicorn Pegasus cake.

 

Eat it if you dare...

That’s it: I’m orf to check out my non-4G freeview

 

Today’s thought:

Waiter I'll have two portions of that.

 

And today’s mellow melody.

Now

 

And then.

 

 

Angus

Pie in the sky gas: Dahn Unda Army for sale: Scary skateboarding: Pancake machine: and a helium bridge.

A touch of skywater, a whimsy of white fluffy stuff, a memory of lack of cold, an absence of atmospheric movement and less solar stuff than you could shake an icicle at, at the Castle this morn.

Just returned from the stale bread (still £1.45) gruel (now 89p) and his Maj’s food (up to £3.68) run dahn dobbin’s deli (otherwise known as Tesco), usual mayhem, many, many interweb robots cruising about grabbing everything in sight for those too idle to get orf their arses and do their own shopping.

 

Apparently the shit for brains Millionaires Club Coalition

And especially Energy Secretary Ed Davey wants us to provide up to £4bn to meet the cost of any of the six leading energy suppliers going out of business, although the collapse of one of the major groups is rated as highly unlikely the Government wants contingency plans in place to safeguard against the risk of consumers being left in the dark and the economy suffering.

“Four of the six – EDF of France, E.ON and Npower of Germany and Scottish Power, owned by Iberdrola of Spain – are subsidiaries of powerful global groups, while UK businesses Centrica and Scottish & Southern Electric are big players in their own right.

The commitment of the foreign-owned groups to the UK market is not being questioned but analysts feel the Government does not want to find its self helpless if the parent faces a crisis and the UK subsidiary suffers.”

But a cost recovery programme outlined in an Energy Department consultation paper on the issue, open for comments until March 15, shows how the rescue costs could trickle down and leave consumers saddled with paying for the rescue for five years.

Under what the department says is the worst case and least likely scenario household bills could rise by between £7 and £32 a year on average over the period, equivalent to a maximum contribution of £4bn on the basis of 25.5m households in the UK.

 

Nice: Now who was it that sold orf our nationalised Gas and Leccy companies-oh yes it was the Conservatives under Thatcher the snatcher....

 

Dahn Unda

Starting in March, up to 12,000 vehicles including Land Rovers, trucks, semi-trailers, tankers, motorcycles and trailers, valued at more than $100 million, will be sold by Sydney-based firm Australian Frontline Machinery.

Most are about 25 years old with 125,000km on the clock and not a bullet hole in sight, in either khaki or camouflage paint scheme.

They range in quality from rolled-over write-offs to near-pristine vehicles fitted with premium accessories.

Defence is buying a new vehicle fleet for $7 billion with phase three of the project to deliver about 4600 light and heavy vehicles worth $3.1 billion. During the coming years the government will also sell hundreds of planes, ships, helicopters, armoured vehicles, explosives and weapons as it moves to replace 85 per cent of military equipment.

The sale of combat equipment is subject to strict rules to prevent it falling into the hands of potential enemies or dodgy dictators. Countries such as Fiji, Syria, Yemen and Iran, and companies dealing with such regimes, are on the banned list.

 

Maybe Blighty’s Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition will be interested.

 

Up a bit to Sarf Africa

 

A professional skateboarder is potentially facing jail time after uploading a video that purports to show him skating at an astounding 68 mph through the middle of traffic.

South African skater Decio Lourenco faces the charges after Cape Town city officials say his high-speed skating actually triggered a speed camera. The speed limit in the town Lourenco was skating through is reportedly 37 mph.

“All that was needed was for one of those motorists to panic and swerve into the oncoming traffic and you have a large number of deaths, as we have already had on that road, safety spokesman Jean-Pierre Smith, told the New York Daily News. "If we don't take action against him, every other aspirant skateboarder will try it and one of them will come to a sticky end."

 

Numpty-or otherwise known as a donor....

 

With shrove thingy arriving tomorrow

 

Here is something that could prevent all those ceiling adornments and overdone pancakes, four design engineers, commissioned by The Happy Egg Company, spent more than 200 hours to construct the Pancake–omatic and another 100 hours to test it.

To ensure the pancakes are as fresh as can be designers installed a luxury nest throne for the hen to lay her egg in.

It then travels along a spinning gramophone record before being mixed with other pancake ingredients and flipped on to a plate.

 

“Don't worry, Gromit! Everything's under control!”

 

And finally:

 

From Tatton Park in Cheshire, England

Cometh the helium bridge, created by French artist Olivier Grossette for a 'Flights of Fancy' themed outdoor sculpture exhibition, Picture: Olivier Grossette/ Splash News.

 

Like it....

 

That's it: I'm orf to go retro

 

Today’s thought:

That's mine done, now how many do you want?

 

  

And today’s mellow melody:

As mellow as you can get

 

 

Angus

 

Cough up your Airfix: Flying de-daws: “Racist” duck: Killer Seal: and the Tel Aviv rip-orf:

Visible drizzle, invisible lack of cold, risible atmospheric movement and sod all solar activity at the Castle this morn, after the saga of the hot water debacle a while ago it has gorn tits up again, so I had a nice cold wash and shave followed by a nice warm electric shower, luckily the fat, carbon neutral teenagers inserted into the furnace are keeping me nice and warm.

Why do these things always happen on a Sunday...?

 

All across build it Blighty

There are old farts holding onto Airfix models that they made back in the thirties, forties, fifties and beyond but now you can get a bit of use from them, the Royal Air Force Museum will chart the history of Airfix since the company began in 1939 and is due to feature kits, as well as artwork from the boxes.

However, the curators are struggling to locate several models, especially from the firm’s heyday in the 1950s and 1960s. They are seeking any toys, either still in their boxes, or fully built, from that period, either from the company’s military range, or some of its more diverse collections.

Among particular requests it has made are for: the first kit of a Massey Ferguson tractor; its first Spitfire; models from its historical figures range, which included Joan of Arc, Henry VIII, Oliver Cromwell and Charles I; ships, including HMS Endeavour — Captain Cook’s vessel — and a Hawker P1127, a prototype of the Harrier jump jet.

Although most of the toys which the museum, in Hendon, north London, wants to display should be immaculately assembled and well decorated, it also wants to feature several less successful efforts, which may have been preserved.

Airfix was founded in 1939 by Nicholas Kove, a refugee from Hungary who originally manufactured rubber inflated toys. The name was chosen because part of the process involved fixing air into products and so the company would appear at the front of business directories.

After the Second World War he switched to producing plastic combs, before the company started to produce toy kits, with the first Spitfire appearing in 1953. By the mid-1970s, the firm was selling about 20 million kits a year. But fell into decline in the 1980s as computer games became more popular. However, the company — owned by the train set maker Hornby since 2006 — still sells about 3.5 million kits a year and features up to date kits from the current conflict in Afghanistan.

 

You can contact the museum HERE if you are so inclined.

 

I’m orf to the loft....

 

West to the land of pubic haircuts

 

The Brazilian town of Santo Antônio da Platina, spiders known as Anelosimus eximius were shot ( in the photographic sense) by Erick Reis as they showered the sky. Marta Fischer, a local biologist, is quoted as saying (translated), “…They are usually in trees during the day and in the late afternoon and early evening construct a sort of sheet webs, each makes his and then they come together. The goal is to capture insects.” She also says this phenomenon is normal.

 

Fuck that...more than a lot....

 

Up a fairway to the warm non-snowy bit of the Americas

 

Allegedly a second family in as little as a week has come forward with allegations that a Disneyland character snubbed them because they were black.

The White family said they took their son, Ryder, to Disneyland to celebrate his birthday in December.

The day was going well until Razzi White, 5, walked up to a performer in a Donald Duck costume at the park's Main Street.

'He was sitting there with his arms open, saying, 'Donald, Donald!' said mother Nastasia White.

Nastasia claims that rather than play with her son, Donald deliberately walked away from him to play with a white baby in a stroller.

The Whites said they waited patiently for their turn - long enough that even the baby's parents urged Donald to play with Razzi - but Donald ignored them.

Nastasia asked for picture, but says Donald instead went to a young white girl on a bench and hugged her.

 

Time to get the orange sauce out methinks....

 

East many-many imperial units and dahn just as much

Apparently a voracious cape fur seal has been boldly snacking on large sharks; as dozens of blue sharks gathered around and gorging on an enormous ball of bait fish.

Chris Fallows said: "There were eight guests aboard our vessel; many of them seasoned wildlife enthusiasts. None had ever seen anything like this as sharks of this size are certainly not usually considered food for seals.

"In more than 2,000 expeditions working with sharks over the last 21 years, this is the only time I have ever seen a seal kill several sharks and I can find no record of such an event happening elsewhere."

The seal consumed the stomach and livers of the first two sharks, before killing three others.

And the moral-don’t mess with the seal.

 

And finally:

 

Norf a bit and East a bit

 

Road workers have been caught on camera towing a car away in Tel Aviv - after painting a disabled parking space around the vehicle.

Hila Ben Baruch was ordered to pay £170, plus towing costs, after being accused of illegally parking in the Israeli city.

The angry motorist, who had parked near her apartment, later uncovered surveillance footage of the shocking incident and posted it on Facebook.

"You just see it and can't believe it," she wrote on the social network where the video received hundreds of likes.

"Within five minutes they turned me into a criminal. But who cares? The important thing is that Tel Aviv sucked some more blood."

Ms Ben Baruch has since received an apology from the local city hall who waived the fine after admitting it was a 'serious error'.

But that was not enough to satisfy Ms Ben Baruch who is now threatening legal proceedings.

"I don't plan to keep quiet, not even for a moment" she insisted.

 

As U-Turn Cam would say “calm dahn dear”.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to check out my anti-virus

 

Today’s thought:

Oh shit that’s not the bloke from Tesco is it?

 

 

And today’s mellow melody

A bit of moon lute

 

 

Angus