‘Orse balls: Sea ‘Orse Tuna: Russian terminator: Topless tobogganing: U.S UFO: and Really, really bad parking.

Usual lack of warm, unusual amounts of skywater, unnoticeable atmospheric movement and bugger all solar stuff (as usual) at the Castle this morn, the butler is fuelling the furnace with oodles of fat, carbon neutral teenagers and his Maj has left a nice trail of muddy paw prints right across my nice steam cleaned kitchen floor.

The Honda is in for its MOT early tomorrow and depending on the outcome there may be a post-or not.

 

Apparently IKEA makes ‘Orseballs

 

I didn’t know that, I thought they only did cheap and nasty “furniture” with funny names, but it seems that that they have begun withdrawing all meatballs from sale in stores in the UK and more than 20 other European countries after tests by authorities in the Czech Republic found traces of horsemeat in its Kottbullar line.

The company operates in 26 European countries and 44 in all, with annual sales of £23.6bn.

 

Not for much longer-probably...is it me or do they actually look like ‘Orseballs?

 

And west the home of the mackerel and the land of the not so smug

It appears that across the States that are United most Tuna isn’t; a new study confirms that so-called “white tuna” is one of the most frequently substituted seafood products across the country.

It found consumers usually end up with a species of mackerel; one that researchers said can cause severe digestive problems.

The latest national study by the non-profit Oceana Foundation found just how bad the problem is in Miami and across the country. The foundation concluded that, with 38% of the seafood tested around South Florida, consumers are being served something other than what they ordered.

Southern California tested at 52%, while Seattle came out the best at about 18%. In Boston, the number was 48% while New York was 39%.

 

Nah nah nah nah nah....

 

East to the land of Russians

 

Alexei Volkov is a bus driver from Zelenograd. And he's not a happy man, especially when drivers cut him off on the roads.

So, he's taken the law into his own hands. And, as a result, he's become a folk hero in Russia.

He is known as "the Punisher" after the ruthless comic vigilante who dispenses brutal justice.

Volkov has been in more than 100 traffic “accidents” he's caused most of them with his in your rear-end - driving style.

If someone cuts him off, Volkov just smashes into them.

To ram home his point, he then posts the dash cam video of his exploits online.

 

Wonder what job he has now....

 

Left a bit to cold pointy things

Thousands of spectators turned out to cheer on hardy competitors in a topless sledging contest in Germany.

Both men and women took part in the topless toboggan races down a 100 metre course in Altenberg.

They braved sub-zero temperatures wearing next to nothing in the hope of winning the £1,000 first prize.

Former male model Nico Schwanz came first in the men's section while Annett Schnadelbach, 30, sloped off with the women's trophy.

"It was freezing out there and you feel like you're going very, very fast because of the wind whistling through every bit of your body," said Ms Schnadelbach. 

"But it was certainly fun warming up again afterwards."

 

My problem would be the wind whistling out of every bit of my body, and the walnut effect....

 

Left again to the home of U and the land of FO’s

 

A Canadian aviation firm began developing a disc-shaped aircraft for the U.S. military in the mid-1950s, and, though the details were secret, the project itself was not unknown. Popular mechanics mentioned the Air Force’s “vertical-rising, high-speed” craft in 1956 and published a photo in 1960. In the decades since the program was cancelled in 1961, aviation buffs and UFO researchers have unearthed technical papers written near the end of America’s flying saucer experiment, but the document that originally convinced the government to invest in a military flying disc has languished in the NDC under the SECRET designation. This recently discovered report describes in previously unknown detail how aviation engineers tried to harness what were then cutting-edge aerodynamic concepts to make their improbable creation fly. Although Avro’s saucer never completed a successful flight, some of the most sophisticated aircraft flying today adopted many of the same technologies.

In 2001, U.S. Air Force personnel cleared the document cache for public release, according to Neil Carmichael, director of the declassification review division at the NDC, which is run by the National Archives and Records Administration. But it took 11 years to crack open the boxes in College Park and glimpse the saucer secrets within—the stuff is buried in a backlog of nearly 2 billion pages of declassified material, some of it dating to World War II. “These records probably have been classified since their creation,” Carmichael says. “It’s like somebody emptied out a filing cabinet, stuck it in a box, sealed it, and sent it off to the federal records centre.”

 

You think....

 And finally:

 

Dahn a bit to the State that has only one star

 

A speeding car launched into the air and landed upside down on the roof of a house.

Police say the early morning crash in Houston, Texas, happened when the driver was speeding and failed to take a bend in the road.

The crash triggered Susan Mistini's house alarm system and she thought someone was breaking into her home until a neighbour told her what happened.

Ms Mistini said: "He said, 'hurry up there's a car on your roof'. A car on my roof? And he said, 'yes a car on your roof'."

Harris County Sheriff's Assistant Chief John Laine said: "(The car) inverted and somersaulted and landed on the roof upside down."

The driver was taken to hospital and is in stable condition.

Investigators have not determined whether or not alcohol was a factor in the accident.

 

Anyone taking bets....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to see if there are any Robo-sparrows in the garden, just in case

 

And today’s thought:

Cook those IKEA...

 

Angus

Luvvies love it: Cat Cafe: Tight arse: and How to go to Specsavers-not.

More than enough lack of warm, middling amounts of atmospheric movement, missing amounts of skywater and not even a glimmer of solar stuff at the Castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, his Whiskas meat selection in jelly is still six squids for two boxes (or £3.68 each) but his Dreamies are now £1.34 per pack-no more multi buys..

And I spent yestermorn doing the once in a decade defrost of the freezer and managed to remove enough ice to stave orf global warming for at least a year or sink a Chinese Titanic.

 

Over the wet, salty thing on the left and left even more

It seems that many-many Luvvies gathered to give each other little metal statuettes for doing things such as pretending to be someone else, directing Luvvies to be someone else, making “music” for the Luvvies to pretend to be someone else and apparently some Brit bird won one for singing an “original” song about Luvvies pretending to be someone else.

 

But I have checked the Angus Dei library of old “music” and have discovered that the “Theme song” to “Skyfall” is in fact a rip orf of William Connolly’s “singing at parties’ song.

 

About 1min 25secs in.

 

about 20 secs in.

What do you think?

 

Up in the Smoke

The UK’s first-ever cat café is coming to London in the next couple of months after members of the public donated over £100,000 to make one cat lover’s dreams a reality.

Entrepreneur Lauren Pears has already started looking at prospective sites in the Old Street area of London and is aiming to have the café up and running by May.

The 30-year-old claims she has already found the 10 to 15 cats which will staff the café, with the animals coming from the Mayhew Animal Home in Kensal Green, north-west London.

The café will provide a place where cat lovers can stroke the roaming felines while drinking their coffee.

She added: ‘We’re going to have a volunteer programme so people who can’t afford the cover charge can actually come in overnight and look after the cats.’

 

I can do that at home in the Castle for sod all....

 

Up Norf a bit

 

Keeley Newstead is saving pots of money in the slump by recycling tea bags three times.

The penny-pinching mum dries the used bags in her kitchen before brewing up twice more.

Keeley, 37, also re-uses tin foil, gets a week’s use out of a single sandwich bag and even rations toilet paper.

With gas and electricity prices soaring she hardly ever lights the living room fire – preferring to huddle on the sofa with kids Kyle, 15, Declan, six, and ­hubby Darren, 36.

They wear extra jumpers and even put on gloves on to watch telly in the dark.

Part-time cleaner Keeley and printer Darren send their kids to school with free pens and pencils from bookies and catalogue shops.

And if they want sauce on their pizza and chips – bought on special offer at the supermarket, of course – they use sachets grabbed from fast food joints.

While they are at it, they whip napkins so they never need to buy kitchen roll. And if they spy an un-tethered loo roll in a public toilet they grab that too.

Keeley said: “There is so much free stuff out there we might as well help ourselves. It saves us a fortune.

 

Oh dear.... 

And finally:

 

Over to more than six oaks in Kent

The driver of a car managed to smash into Specsavers front window.

The accident happened shortly before noon today (Sunday February 24) in Sevenoaks, Kent.

Police and fire crews attended but no-one was seriously hurt.

It was not known how the car ended up in the shop front after it mounted the kerb.

Red fluid - understood to be brake fluid - was spilled over the pavement and substantial damage was caused to the front end of the car and window.

Amused bystanders were quick to tweet pictures of the crash scene.
 

Although a visit to the opticians was obviously needed, the bad news is that it was closed.

 

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the otter’s todger-just in case....

 

And today’s thought:

Would the LibDems lie to you?

 

Angus

 

EU blackmail: “Lord” Lipsey has lost it: The Polytron Phone: You only live once in China (unless you have permission): Low-energy nuclear reactor water heater: and Bombing with poison mice.

The merest hint of white fluffy stuff, much more lack of warm, minimal atmospheric movement and not even a glimpse of Dawn’s crack at the Castle this morn, late again, I seem to be going into hibernation mode-going to bed earlier-getting up later, I blame the Government.

 

According to U-Turn Cam

Dahn at Eastleigh in ‘Ampshire he told an audience of by-election voters at the event: "To get an EU referendum you need to vote for a Tory-only government."

Which is of course yet another 180 from the Prime Monster after he pledged at the end of last month's Bloomberg event that a referendum would take place  "if I am prime minister" – whether in coalition or not.

 

And so the lying, gutless, inept, inbred, arrogant, brain dead, shirt lifting tosser multi millionaire once again takes the piss out of us.

 

And according to Labour “Lord” Lipsey

Who is allegedly a member of the House of Lords economic affairs committee Britain's lack of growth is more bearable while unemployment is low in comparison with other recessions.

Writing in The Times, he said the relatively high level of people with jobs is the reason why people are not rising up and rioting.

"The employment figures mean that, whether or not the recession is working, it is not really hurting — at least not really hurting the people who still have jobs and don’t claim benefits," he said. "An unemployment-lite recession has nothing like the social impact of a job-crushing one."

He said it is much better to be poor with a job than without one.

 

Fuck orf...

If you can be arsed you can read about the not very poor “Lord” who doesn’t have a clue about real life HERE.

 

East to the land of Taiwanese

 

 

A firm based in Taiwan is hoping to crack the mobile market by launching a transparent phone with functions “similar to a Smartphone”.

• Handset will be able to display images on front and back.

• Touch screen device will be cheaper than iPhone 5.

The lightweight device, which is completely see-through, is made of a toughened glass and can display images on both sides.

The company, which is the Taiwanese division of US-based Polytron Technologies, will put the handset into production this year after six years at the development stage.

The prototype currently shows some items, such as the battery and sim card, as being visible through the glass, though it is thought that part of the handset will be covered up to hide these elements.

Polytron has yet to reveal the price tag for the device but it is reportedly cheaper than the iPhone 5, while the screen is 0.3 inches bigger.

The company are even reportedly looking at ways to make the batteries transparent in the future, and it is hoped the phone will be available later this year.

 

Oh great; an invisible phone that’ll be a plus.....

 

Over a bit to where copies are even more rife

Allegedly China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation."

By barring any Buddhist monk living outside China from seeking reincarnation, the law effectively gives Chinese authorities the power to choose the next Dalai Lama, whose soul, by tradition, is reborn as a new human to continue the work of relieving suffering.

At 72, the Dalai Lama, who has lived in India since 1959, is beginning to plan his succession, saying that he refuses to be reborn in Tibet so long as it's under Chinese control.

 

 I’d like to see them enforce that.....

 

West to the home of ex space shuttles and very-very cheap energy

NASA scientist Joseph Zawodny has come up with a device used to test low-energy nuclear reactors .

This reactor does not use fission, the process of splitting atoms into smaller elements employed by every commercial power reactor currently operating on earth.

And it does not use hot fusion, the union of hydrogen atoms into larger elements that powers the sun and stars.

Instead, a low-energy nuclear reactor (LENR) uses common, stable elements like nickel, carbon, and hydrogen to produce stable products like copper or nitrogen, along with heat and electricity.

“It has the demonstrated ability to produce excess amounts of energy, cleanly, without hazardous ionizing radiation, without producing nasty waste,” said Joseph Zawodny, a senior research scientist with NASA’s Langley Research Centre.

“The easiest implementation of this would be for the home,” he said. “You would have a unit that would replace your water heater. And you would have some sort of cycle to derive electrical energy from that.”

The LENR offers a slow-moving neutron to an element – NASA researchers are working with nickel. The nickel absorbs the extra neutron, rendering the nickel unstable. To regain stability, the acquired neutron splits into an electron and a proton.

“So where it once had an extra neutron, making it an unstable isotope of whatever element it was, it now has an extra proton instead, which makes it a more stable isotope of a different element,” Bob Silberg of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory wrote last week on the agency’s Global Climate Change blog.

“This process releases energy which, hypothetically, can be used to generate electricity.”

With its new proton, the nickel has gained stability as another element: copper.

LENR reactors use common, stable elements like nickel, carbon, and hydrogen and produce stable elements like copper or nitrogen. NASA researchers are leaning on the Widom-Larsen Theory published in 2006 by Boston physicist Allan Widom and Chicago physicist Lewis Larson, who speculates that low energy nuclear reactions are already happening on earth – in lightning, for example. And according to Larson, LENR reactions may be responsible for occasional fires in lithium-ion batteries.

Which underscores that even low-energy nuclear reactors can produce dangerous amounts of energy.

According to Bushnell “Several labs have blown up studying LENR and windows have melted,” “indicating when the conditions are right prodigious amounts of energy can be produced and released.”

 

Think I’ll wait for the mark 2, or 3 or maybe 4...

 

And finally:

 

Almost Dahn Unda but up a fairway

The US is to bomb the tiny territory of Guam with dead mice laced with painkiller in an attempt to kill off the brown tree snakes that have taken over the island.

The reptiles, which can grow to be more than 10ft (3m), have caused misery on the territory for 60 years, since they were unwittingly introduced by US military ships after World War Two.

Now there are serious fears they could slither on to planes at the US military base and hitch a lift to Hawaii, where they would decimate the island's wildlife.

As a result, US government scientists are to drop the poison mice near Guam's sprawling Andersen Air Force Base, which is surrounded by heavy foliage and could offer the snakes a potential ticket off the island.

Scientists calculate there may be two million of the reptiles on Guam, killing wildlife, biting residents and even knocking out electricity by slithering on to power lines.

The mice carcasses are being laced with acetaminophen, the active ingredient in painkillers such as Tylenol.

Unlike most snakes, brown tree snakes are happy to eat prey they did not kill themselves, and they are highly vulnerable to acetaminophen, which is harmless to humans.

To keep the mice bait from dropping all the way to the ground, where it could be eaten by other animals or attract insects as they rot, researchers have developed a flotation device with streamers designed to catch in the branches of the forest foliage, where the snakes live and feed.

Mr Vice said the goal was not to eradicate the snakes, but to control and contain them.

 

Spiffing-must cross Guam orf the bucket list....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to decipher the Mysterious Math of the Solar Wind (if I can stay awake long enough)

 

And today’s thought:

Managed to get out of that one for a while...

 

Angus

Another ConDem balls up: GP surgery dragons: Niagara Numpty: Banned brats: Coober Pedy: and how to catch a rainbow.

Colder than the Coalition’s core, not even a whisper of atmospheric movement, even less skywater and bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, it’s been an “interesting” week, the interweb router thingy went tits up on Monday and I spent a fair portion of the day talking to several different inhabitants of the Sub continent in order to obtain a new one.

So I chilled out on Monday, did a bit more chilling on Tuesday and Wednesday, did a bit of shopping and went to see the toof doctor Thursday and then some cleaning of the Castle, played chase with his Maj and when the new interweb router thingy arrived spent a while setting it up.

I really can’t stand the excitement.

 

No surprise really but:

Apparently the three to five billion squids welfare-to-work “scheme” isn’t doing too well, according to Auntie and the Public Accounts Committee only 3.6% of people on the scheme managed to get orf benefits and into secure employment in its first 14 months.

And according to Labour MP Margaret Hodge of the 9,500 former incapacity benefit claimants referred to providers, only 20 people have been placed in a job that has lasted three months, while the poorest-performing provider did not manage to place a single person in the under-25 category into a job lasting six months."

Allegedly not one of the 18 providers has met its contractual targets and their performance ''varies wildly'', the committee said.

"The best-performing provider only moved 5% of people off benefit and into work, while the worst managed just 2%," said Ms Hodge.

A spokesman for the Dept of Witless Pillocks said: "This report paints a skewed picture. More than 200,000 people have moved off benefits and into a job thanks to the Work Programme.

"It is making a real difference to tens of thousands of the hardest-to-help jobseekers. Long-term unemployment fell by 15,000 in the latest quarter.

"The Work Programme gives support to claimants for two years and it hasn't even been running that long yet, so it's still early days. We know the performance of our providers is improving."

 

So who is telling porkies then?

 

All over blighted Blighty’s GP surgeries

 

It seems that the sick are to blame for the dragons behind the reception desk.

Scientists observed 45 receptionists at work for 200 hours and found they are often trying to protect the most vulnerable patients while acting as gatekeepers for doctors.

In a research paper, entitled 'Slaying the dragon myth, the team from Manchester University, argue that receptionists were faced with the difficult task of prioritising patients, despite having little time, information, and training.

They felt responsible for protecting those patients who were most vulnerable, however this was sometimes made difficult by people trying to ‘play’ the system, they said.

Receptionists often had to negotiate with patients over the urgency of their condition to establish if they needed an emergency appointment or could wait for a routine one, despite having little information or training to do so, it was found.

 

Interesting that, at my General Medics surgery there is a touch screen log in system (when it works) which negates the need to talk to the dragons, but if you need to make a follow up appointment I have discovered that “they” would rather talk to someone on the phone than interact with half dead people.

 Wonder why? well it's not as if they are being paid to do their jobs is it....

 

West to the big falling water thingy

 

A British inventor has made a “tsunami survival” capsule — and plans to test it by hurtling over Niagara Falls in it.

Aerospace engineer Julian Sharpe, 50, believes his lifesaving pod will protect people from tidal waves, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, super-storms and many other natural disasters.

He says he has no qualms about riding the aluminium ball over the world-famous 167ft falls.

The impact will be like being rear-ended by a car at around 20mph, he claims.

He said: “We can tell people how strong it is but until we have proved that it has saved a life they might not believe what we say.”

Julian, born in Carmarthen, south west Wales and now lives in Seattle.

He hopes the capsules, holding up to six people, will sell for between £650 and £3,250.

A prototype shown at the Yokohama Expo is to go into production soon.

 

Good luck with that-I do like an optimist, on the bright side if it fails at least there won’t be a mess to clear up...

 

Dahn Unda

 

 

The Dee Why Grand shopping complex north of Sydney has told customers screaming children "will not be tolerated".

After complaints about children becoming too loud near the centre’s play area, a notice has been put up saying, "Stop. Parents please be considerate of other customers using the food court. Screaming children will not be tolerated in the centre".

Centre manager Brenda Mulcahy said staff and customers complained about children "running amok" in the food court and said children were sometimes so loud she could hear their screams in her office, which was "miles away".

"People deserve the quiet enjoyment of their cup of tea," Ms Mulcahy told The Manly Daily newspaper.

"Mothers have to be more responsible. We have had so many complaints."

She said some staff avoided the food court because they found the noise "unbearable".

Child psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg said: "I do think we are becoming increasingly selfish and intolerant ... this shopping centre needs to watch itself because I’m not sure legally it has much of a leg to stand on. This could be a violation of the United Nations rights of the child.

 

Bollocks-here’s an idea, why not build a sound proof dome which you can shove the spoilt little gits in?

 

And still Dahn Unda and Dahn Unda even more

 

 

Located in South Australia, known for being the driest state on the driest continent on Earth, the town of Coober Pedy was established in 1915, when opal was first discovered in the region and miners started settling in. The temperature and weather conditions were so harsh that the miners began digging their homes into the hillsides. All they wanted was to find some respite from the scorching sun, but in the process they ended up creating a small town for themselves. To this day, the people of Coober Pedy prefer to build their houses under the ground. Summers are harsh around here, with temperatures easily rising over 40 degrees Celsius. Air conditioning is a necessity, not a luxury, if you choose to live above ground. But the scenario is completely different in the underground homes of Coober Pedy. The temperature remains at a cool, constant 24 degrees and the humidity doesn’t go beyond 20%. Winters can be rather cold, but people are willing to make that kind of compromise.

To the outside world, all that’s visible of Coober Pedy is a vast expanse of land, interrupted by chimneys and shafts that seem to be sticking up out of nowhere. The town’s entire population of about 3,000 people lives underground, in a series of intricate tunnels. The name Coober Pedy is said to have originated from the Aboriginal phrase ‘kupa piti’, meaning ‘white man’s hole in the ground’.

 

Don’t tell the LibDems, there will be a stampede to enter the white man’s hole in the ground....

 

And finally:

 

Back over to the home of the desert snow and the land of the Electromagnetic absorber

A University of Buffalo engineering team, led by Qiaoqiang Gan, PhD, has come up with an efficient way to absorb different frequencies of light, an improvement that could lead to advances in solar energy, stealth technology, and other fields.

The “hyperbolic metamaterial waveguide” developed by Gan and his team functions like a microchip made of alternate ultra-thin films of metal, semiconductors, and insulators. The waveguide stops and absorbs each frequency of light at slightly different places in a vertical direction, allowing it to catch a “rainbow” of wavelengths.

“Electromagnetic absorbers have been studied for many years, especially for military radar systems,” Gan said. “However, it is still challenging to realize the perfect absorber in ultra-thin films with tuneable absorption band.

We are developing ultra-thin films that will slow the light and therefore allow much more efficient absorption, which will address the long existing challenge.”

Because light photons move so quickly, they’re very difficult to tame without the use of freezing materials, like cryogenic gases, that can only be used inside a laboratory. But this new metamaterial waveguide provides a more practical way for engineers to slow down light, one that can be put to use in the real world.

And the material’s ability to absorb many different wavelengths, including some commonly used for location and detection, also means it might be used as a coating material on objects like the stealth bomber or may be useful in developing new military technology.

Oh good, can’t wait for that...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the moat for glowing sharks

 

And today’s thought:

My heart bleeds

 

 Angus

Charlie and the “über-technical land yacht”: Japanese face pants: A couple of brain dead bong bangers: Letting rip at 30,000 ft: and Einstein-Rosen bridges.

A nice snatch of Dawn’s crack, oodles of scrapey, scrapey stuff, nary a breath of atmospheric movement and quite a lot of lack of warm at the Castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Gee-up Tesco, the freezer thingies are full to bursting with Spag-Bol, “beef” hot pot and many, many other “processed” food stuffs from bovine sources, I took the calculator to sort out the cat food multi-buy/discount things and the cash machine decided it only wanted to hand out twenty squid notes which pleased the till operator no end.

 

Apparently due to a withdrawal of labour by Aunties “journalists” there is no news today so here is what I have managed to dredge from the interweb thingy.

 

Apparently old fart Charlie and the old nag are about to get a new motor

The £300,000 BMW is being considered by security chiefs after the royal couple’s limo was ambushed by a mob during student fees protests in December 2010.

The Prince and his wife looked shaken as demonstrators chanted “Off with their heads” and pelted the car with paint and bottles, smashing a window.

The BMW 760 – currently being tested by Scotland Yard – is capable of repelling bullets and gas, and has a removable bulletproof windscreen for an emergency exit.

Ex-head of royal protection Dai Davies said its planned use “marks recognition that after the disaster of the attack during the student riots, proper care is being taken to ensure the royal couple are secure”.

Dubbed an “über-technical land yacht”, the German model could be brought in to use later this year.

But Labour MP John Spellar said instead of choosing BMW, “police bureaucrats” should support British carmakers and go for a Jaguar.

 

Which is owned by India’s Tata....there’s a coincidence

 

East to the land where radiation has had no effect at all

The latest fashion trend sweeping Japan is schoolgirls wearing panties on their heads.

Photos are popping up of Japanese schoolgirls donning panty masks while doing mundane activities like laundry and performing karaoke.

Apparently Japanese superhero “Hentai Kamen” has inspired the trend. Billed as “the abnormal superhero” under salutations such as “panty bless you,” Hentai Kamen is a strange “homo-erotic parody of a Power Ranger” who wears panties on his head to conceal his identity and … nothing else.

Hope they washed them first....

 

West to the home of the lucky and the land of the idiot

Two brothers who were celebrating a $75,000 winning lottery ticket by purchasing marijuana and meth accidentally blew up their house on Friday, said Sgt. Bruce Watts of the Wichita Police Department.

The explosion sent one of the brothers – a 27-year-old – to the hospital, where he remains in serious but stable condition with second-degree burns on his hands, arms and chest.

The other brother was sent to jail, Watts said.

The brothers were in a house in the 100 block of North Nevada Court, near Douglas and West Street, about 7 p.m. Friday, Watts said. One of the brothers went to the kitchen to refuel the butane torches they planned to use to light their bongs. He emptied a couple of large cans of butane lighter fluid, leaking butane into the air.

“The butane vapour reached the pilot light in the furnace, and as you might expect, ka-boom,” Watts said.

The victim was wearing a lottery T-shirt during the explosion.

The victim’s girlfriend loaded him and some children into a car and took him to the Via Christi Hospital on St. Francis emergency room, where she dropped him off and left.

Officers went to the house with a warrant, where the other brother ran out, admitting he had marijuana and methamphetamine. He was arrested.

 

Natural justice?

 

According to “scientists”

 

In their report titled, 'Flatulence On Airplanes: Just Let It Go,' published in the New Zealand Medical Journal Friday, a team of British and Danish gastroenterologists suggest it's healthier to pass wind than fight the turbulence brewing within.

We tend to fart more on a plane because of changes in the volume of intestinal gasses as cabin pressure changes, they said, and restraining gas could lead to a raft of "significant drawbacks" including discomfort, pain, bloating, indigestion, stress and heartburn.

As well, battling the body's need to break wind could be problematic for those afflicted with fart incontinence or those who had fallen asleep, leaving both groups open to the embarrassment of involuntary farts triggered by turbulence, coughing and sneezing.

Other than assaulting fellow passengers' nasal passages, taking the advice of the researchers has other drawbacks.

"Obviously, proximity to other passengers may cause conflict and stigmatization of the farting individual," the team said.

 

No shit..... 

And finally:

 

According to other “scientists”

 

Our universe could be located within the interior of a wormhole which itself is part of a black hole that lies within a much larger universe.

Such a scenario in which the universe is born from inside a wormhole (also called an Einstein-Rosen Bridge) is suggested in a paper from Indiana University theoretical physicist Nikodem Poplawski in Physics Letters B. The final version of the paper was available online March 29 and will be published in the print edition April 12. Poplawski takes advantage of the Euclidean-based coordinate system called isotropic coordinates to describe the gravitational field of a black hole and to model the radial geodesic motion of a massive particle into a black hole. In studying the radial motion through the event horizon (a black hole's boundary) of two different types of black holes -- Schwarzschild and Einstein-Rosen, both of which are mathematically legitimate solutions of general relativity -- Poplawski admits that only experiment or observation can reveal the motion of a particle falling into an actual black hole. But he also notes that since observers can only see the outside of the black hole, the interior cannot be observed unless an observer enters or resides within. "This condition would be satisfied if our universe were the interior of a black hole existing in a bigger universe," he said. "Because Einstein's general theory of relativity does not choose a time orientation, if a black hole can form from the gravitational collapse of matter through an event horizon in the future then the reverse process is also possible. Such a process would describe an exploding white hole: matter emerging from an event horizon in the past, like the expanding universe." A white hole is connected to a black hole by an Einstein-Rosen bridge (wormhole) and is hypothetically the time reversal of a black hole. Poplawski's paper suggests that all astrophysical black holes, not just Schwarzschild and Einstein-Rosen black holes may have Einstein-Rosen bridges, each with a new universe inside that formed simultaneously with the black hole. "From that it follows that our universe could have itself formed from inside a black hole existing inside another universe," he said.

Ah; the old Euclidean-based coordinate system known as isotropic coordinates ploy eh....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to get the one remaining left handed brain cell rewired.

 

And today’s thought:

Über Numptys

 

Angus

I’m confused: Charlie the lawmaker: Free doughnuts: Tesco go hunting: Denver bunny vandals: and Got an hour to waste?

A modicum of lack of warm, minimal skywater, minus atmospheric movement and masses of cloudy stuff at the Castle this morn, the butler is out collecting fat, carbon neutral teenagers just in case, his Maj is out hunting worms and there will be no post tomorrow-doing several things.

 

I’m very confused

Apparently Son of a B.....aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I can’t find my arse in this dark room because the torch is broken) Osborne is thinking about giving us 300-400 squids worth of RBS (which we already own) “shares”, or phased disposal or attempts to place the shares in the market – allowing the public to invest their own money in the company but at a discount to the share price at the time.

 

Now: I am confused because “we” gave RBS £45,500,000,000 (without our knowledge) so that the employees could continue to get their nice big salaries and bonuses and we could suffer cuts in welfare, ‘Orspitals, council services and benefits,

And now “they” want to give us a pittance back because “they” don’t have a hope of putting RBS back into the private sector and recouping our money,

According to “A senior government source” (probably the cleaner at No 10):

"There is a realisation that there is no prospect of RBS's share price rising to the level at which we bailed the bank out and it's not good for the bank or the Government to hold on to our stake indefinitely. Obviously a give-away to taxpayers before the election, who after all paid for it in the first place, is very attractive."

In 2008 the Government invested £45.5bn in RBS to prevent the bank from collapsing. RBS shares closed last night at 344p, well below the 500p average at which taxpayers bought their 82 per cent stake. Last night's closing price equates to a £14bn loss.

 Which is why I am so confused because “taxpayers” didn’t buy an 82 per cent stake in the Royal Bank of wankers the piss poor millionaires club coalition did on our behalf and now they want us to take a £14 billion loss because they can’t do their sums.

 

Anyone else confused about this, or is it because they want to orfload this millstone in case Norf of the border gets its independence?

 

And staying with confusing things

Allegedly the Prince of Wales was secretly given a say over dozens of new laws, including those to ban hunting and to introduce the Government’s green deal, the Government has revealed.

A Freedom of Information request disclosed that the Prince has been consulted on an average of three laws every year over the past 11 years. In all he was consulted on 33 laws over past 11 years, far higher than previously disclosed.

Some of our laws that he was arsed about were:

The Energy Bill in September 2011, which passed into law the Government’s green deal which encourages homeowners to take out a loan to make their house more energy-efficient

The Hunting Bill in July 2003, the same month that MPs voted on a free ballot to ban hunting with dogs in the UK.

The Licensing Bill in June 2003, which was criticised for legalising 24 hour drinking after it came into force in November 2005.

The Health and Social Care Bill (July 2003)

Companies Bill (October 2006)

And the Land Registration Bill (February 2002).

 
It seems that being the heir to the Throne old nag loving Charlie is allowed under Britain’s constitution to be consulted on legislation that might affect his private interests.
 

Oh well as long as he can continue to keep his fifteen serfs, and thousands of acres of Blighty then that’s alright then.

 

Norf of the not yet free border

 

The opening of the first Krispy Kreme store in Scotland caused traffic chaos as thousands turned up for the chance of free doughnuts.

Before the store in Edinburgh had even opened its doors at 7am, more than 300 determined people had already braved the elements and formed a queue outside in the driving snow.

Staff served doughnuts to 400 sweet-toothed customers in the first hour alone of the store being opened, but bosses didn't anticipate the feverish popularity of the launch at the Hermiston Gait shopping centre - with traffic queuing on approach roads, including the M8 motorway and A720, for hours on end.

 

Why am I not surprised....

 

Dahn a bit to Warwickshire

 

My favourite retailer Tesco has been hit by another PR nightmare when a horse died after being hit by one of its delivery van drivers.

The crash happened as the supermarket remained at the centre of the horsemeat scandal after traces of horse were found in products labelled as beef.

The Tesco delivery driver hit the hunting horse while it was being exercised in the village of Little Kineton, in Warwickshire.

The exact circumstances are unclear, but the van somehow crashed into the back of the horse, breaking its leg.

The horse, named ‘Miller’, had to be put down following the accident

 

It was then put in the back of the van and taken to the nearest Tesco supermarket (only joking)-(I hope).

 

West to the home of the bunny and the land of the vandal

Bunnies have been wreaking havoc on cars parked at Denver International Airport - eating spark plug cables and other wiring.

The furry creatures have already caused thousands of dollars in damage as wildlife official’s work to solve the problem.

"I see at least dozens every morning," airport shuttle driver Michelle Anderson told KCNC-TV. "They go hide under the cars and the cars are warm."

A spokesperson from an automotive service centre said the rabbits are chewing on the insulator section of the vehicles' ignition cables, which can lead to hefty repair bills.

The station reported that wildlife workers are removing at least 100 bunnies a month while parking companies build better fences and perches for predator hawks and eagles.

Local mechanics have offered a more unorthodox solution for worried car owners.

They say coating the wires with fox urine - available at hunting shops - will deter the creatures.

 

But do not piss on the cables yourself-especially if the engine is running

 

And finally:

 

Got an hour to waste this weekend

 

Then watch the video, I lasted about thirty seconds before I lost the will to live...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to mine the moat for antibiotics

 

And today’s thought:

Oh I say-nice norks, good job there’s not a law against it

 

Angus