Scraping the bottom of the barrel: Another Ronery Lunatic: Fermented sawdust: Topless feminists: Loads of Sharks: and a Great white with a blonde.

Usual lack of warm, quite a lot of ex skywater, no atmospheric movement and endless amounts of misty stuff at the Castle this morn, after it chucked it dahn Wednesday dark thing and Thursday light thing the interweb thingy went tits up-again which gave me the time to back up the computers and uninstall some no longer used programmes.

 

And Blogger is doing some really strange things with the formatting.

 

And as the annual snatch do-dah is imminent

The word is that “they” are thinking of even more ways to make us poorer, this time it seems that we old farts may be the next target for the Piss Poor Policies of the Millionaires Club Coalition.

Allegedly the ex Eton Wall Game gang may be thunking about freezing not up rating by 1%, all benefits for two years, including disability living allowance and pensions to raise around £9bn, and another idea that has been worked on is taxing benefits. Official Treasury numbers seen by Newsnight show that taxing child benefit would raise £1.5bn, taxing DLA £800m and if you taxed the Winter Fuel Payment (which Vince Cable advocated on Thursday), you would raise £200m.

 

Back in 2010 U-Turn Cam gave these “pledges”

DAVID CAMERON'S PLEDGE TO PENSIONERS

The Government I lead will make sure that older and retired people are treated with dignity and given the quality of life they deserve. This is my pledge to support pensioners.

My Government will:

Increase the value of the basic state pension for all pensioners and help to stop the spread of the means test by linking pensions to earnings. You won’t get a repeat of Labour’s mean 75p rise with us.

Freeze council tax for the next two years, in partnership with your council.

Make it worthwhile to save for a personal pension and get rid of the rules that force people to get a compulsory annuity.

Help people protect their home rather than have to sell it to pay for care.

Take all family homes worth less than £1 million out of inheritance tax.

Increase spending on the NHS every year, which is our number one priority.

Cut paperwork so we get more police out on the beat fighting crime.

Our opponents are trying to scare older people by telling deliberate lies about our plans. So here is a personal promise, from me, about the things we will protect.

I will protect your Winter Fuel Payment.

I will protect your free bus pass and your free TV licence.

I will protect the pension credit.

These vital benefits will not be cut under the Conservatives. You have my word on it.

If he wins the election, Gordon Brown wants to introduce a number of measures which will hit pensioners. A Conservative Government will not penalise pensioners, as Labour are planning to do:

We will NOT introduce a ‘death tax’ of up to £50,000.

We will NOT cut attendance allowance and disability allowance for the over 65s.

 

Discuss...

 

East to the land of the Norf bit of Korea

Apparently Kim Jong-Un is following in his father’s footsteps, and has vowed to scrap all peace pacts with the South after the United Nations imposed tough new sanctions on the country.

The news agency KCNA said he talked of "all-out war" during the visit - and quoted him as telling troops to "make the first gunfire" in response to any attack.

He said the slightest provocation would result in his immediate order for a "great advance" along the frontline, the agency reported.

China, North Korea's only major ally, said it wanted the sanctions to be implemented in full. It agreed to the restrictions after three weeks of negotiations.

 

The ronery little madman went on to say:

The Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea) will make a strike of justice at any target, anytime as it pleases without limit.

"(We) have everything - including lighter and smaller nukes.

"The US imperialists and their allies should not forget even for a moment that they are standing at the crossroads of their life and death.

"(We) will exercise our right to a pre-emptive nuclear attack to destroy the strongholds of the aggressor.

 

Still not taking the tablets then....

 

Dahn a bit to the place where radiation has had no effect on the population

 

The latest thing to make your irradiated skin glow is fermented sawdust baths, “As your body is engulfed in sawdust at a temperature of around 40 degrees Celsius, the body is warmed from the core. This activates your internal organs, apparently optimizing metabolism, increasing your immune strength, and improving circulation. It’s also great for easing constipation and even insomnia. The dry sawdust also promotes the release of sweat without clogging your pores where excess dirt and sebum from your skin is also washed away.”

 

Lovely-wouldn’t want to be the second, or third, or fourth sucker to get in... 

 

Left a whimsy to the Sarf bit of Africa (and even more left to the Sarf bit of America)

Ukrainian feminist group Femen are taking their topless protests around the world, "This year we hope to cover North Africa and South America," said one of Femen's leaders, Anna Gutsol.

The group, which was founded in 2008, came up with the idea of its topless protests almost by accident.

During a demonstration in 2009, Femen activists decorated their backs with slogans and bared them at photographers.

The pictures were a hit, leading the women to come up with an even more outrageous way to get their views across.

Since they turned to face the cameras, the international media - always keen on eye-catching stunts - has given them lavish coverage.

Femen's first moment of glory came in 2010 on the day of Ukraine's tense presidential elections.

Four young women boldly undressed in a polling station just before the arrival of presidential candidate Viktor Yanukovych.

Recently the group has shifted its activism to Western European countries.



Wonder when they are coming to Blighty...I could do with a day out...



  

West to the bit of the States where it is nice and warm

Beaches along the south Florida coast have been shut after thousands of migrating sharks were spotted close to the shore.

Swimmers were ordered out of the water after the sharks - mostly blacktips and spinners - moved into the area as they head north during their annual migration.

Craig Pollock, a lifeguard supervisor in Palm Beach, said: "We don't have a sandbar. A lot of times when we have a sandbar the sharks stay off of the shore a little further.

"Every year we expect annual shark migration to come through this area."

Researchers at Florida Atlantic University said they have counted 15,000 sharks - many as close as 

200 yards from the shore.

Need a lot of chips for that lot...





And talking of big fish that predate

Ocean Ramsey, a shark conservationist based out of Honolulu, swam up to a great white shark to caress the creature and even grab hold of its fin to take a ride through the water. 

An advocate for shark preservation, she released the footage on Valentine's Day as her expression of love for the creatures she fears is misunderstood and at risk of extinction.

She described her dance with the massive animal, saying how in the beginning she watched 'the shark acknowledge and observe me, while I peacefully and calmly allowed it to swim towards me, and then experiencing it accepting my touch, allowing me to dorsal and tail ride,' in her description of the experience. 


'The connection felt as I repeatedly pet and hitched a ride on several of these sharks reminded me of my experience with horses.




Whatever floats you boat-or eats it...



That’s it: I’m orf to shove my Smartphone in the freezer

And today’s thought:

Topless feminist

Angus

Benefits of Blighty: Motoring poverty: Lambo Veneno: Best jobs in the world: Shit IKEA cakes and the latest advice from the Government.

Spring sprung and then buggered orf at the Castle this morn, immense lack of warm, sod all solar stuff, a whimsy of atmospheric movement and not a drop of skywater, still it was nice while it lasted.

 

The Irritable Bowel Twins are not very happy

Corporal Jones has nothing on the top dick at the Dept of Witless Pillocks (DWP) when it comes to running around like a headless ‘Orse bemoaning the fact that he ignored the up and coming influx of EU foreign nationals coming to the UK to claim benefits for the last couple of years.

But of course it isn’t the IBS twins fault apparently "he has been fighting a rearguard action over what was left to me by the last government."

And "The reality is that it is all right for [Labour] to moan but let's put the facts as they are - I inherited a habitual residency test which simply isn't fit for purpose. We are trying to tighten that up dramatically and I am being infracted at the moment by the European Union for doing that.

 

And you should be infracted you tosser, mind you being a LibDem you are probably used to it.

 

And according to her Maj’s Automobile Club

Nearly a million households are spending more than a quarter of their income running a car; the RAC Foundation has used data from ONS, the Government’s statistical service, to expose the extent of "motoring poverty".

It estimates there are 800,000 families trying to run a car with a disposable weekly income of no more than £167.

According to the Foundation’s calculations £44 – equivalent to 27 per cent of the total – is being spent on motoring costs.

This includes £16 to buy fuel and £8.30 a week for insurance.

Road tax accounts for £2.50 a week; and maintenance £4.80, with motorists having to allow £10 for the cost of buying the car and depreciation.

 

Thanks to, Dave, What’s his name, George, and the rest of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition...

 

And talking of cheap old motors

 

 

Lamborghini is showing what it calls a street-legal supercar, the Veneno – of which only three will be sold, each costing £2.6 million plus tax – at the 2013 Geneva motor show.

According to Lamborghini, its design is focused on maximum aerodynamic efficiency. The Veneno is based on the Aventador supercar, and shares its 6.5-litre V12 engine although in the Veneno it develops 50bhp more, at 750bhp. That, combined with a wind-cheating shape, should mean a top speed of 221mph.

The Veneno shown at Geneva is Lamborghini's development car, featuring red, white and green accents on the flanks to symbolise the Italian flag. The three customer cars will only have highlights in one of these colours.

 

Must check the bank balance-just in case

 

And Dahn Unda

Tourism Australia has launched a search to find six lucky applicants to fill what it says are the best jobs in the world.

The six month positions each offer the chance to be paid good money to live in some of the most beautiful parts of Australia.

Jobs on offer include Chief Funster (New South Wales), Outback Adventurer (Northern Territory), Park Ranger (Queensland), Wildlife Caretaker (South Australia), Lifestyle Photographer (Melbourne), and Taste Master (Western Australia).

It is part of a campaign to promote tourism opportunities provided by Australia's Working Holiday Maker programme.

It targets travellers between 18 and 30 years of age, especially those from countries eligible for Australian working holiday visas, including the UK and Ireland.

For further details of the competition visit Tourism Australia's Working Holidays Facebook page, www.facebook.com/australianworkingholiday or www.australia.com/bestjobs

That’s me stuffed then...

 

Following IKEA’s ‘Orse balls

They have now withdrawn almond cakes from its restaurants in 23 countries after bacteria normally found in faecal matter was discovered.

The group confirmed it was investigating claims that Chinese authorities had found "an excessive level" of coliform bacteria in two batches of the cake made by a Swedish supplier. The product remains on sale in its 19 branches in UK and Ireland, which are not supplied by the company under investigation.

Ikea said 1,800 Tarta Chokladkrokant cakes – described as an almond cake layered with chocolate, butter cream and butterscotch – were destroyed in December after being intercepted by Chinese customs officials. It said it was carrying out a full investigation with the supplier to ensure it would not happen again. 

And of course Ikea said in a statement: "There is no health risk associated with consuming this product. The production batches have, as per safety and quality routines, been tested for bacteria that can cause health issues, such as E coli, and none of these pathogen bacteria have been found. However, since the product does not comply with our strict food quality standards we have decided to withdraw the concerned production batches from sale in the 23 affected countries. The UK and Ireland are not affected."

 

So as well as making cheap nasty furniture they sell balls made of ‘Orse and cakes made of shit.

 

And finally:

 

The Government has issued some new signs

One for the Border Force

 

 

One for LibDems

 

And one for House of Commons visitors

 

That’s it: I’m orf to find the secrets of my left handed brain cell 

And today’s thought:

Not funny really, is it

 

 

Angus

Ailing Blighty: Food poverty: Supporting the rich: Church clucker: Crap Mars voyage: and the Crap bits of Bible.

More than the minimum of scrapey-scrapey stuff, multitudes of lack of warm, maximum lack of atmospheric movement and Dawn’s crack is a welcome sight at the Castle this morn.

 

I see that we are killing ourselves all across buggered up Blighty

 

According to “experts” the UK is lagging behind progress by similar countries on many indicators for ill-health, and that although average life expectancy has risen by four years since 1990, the UK needs to increase its strategies for tackling preventable problems such as heart disease and stroke.

‘Elf secretary Jezza CHunt has a cunning plan though; he is going to announce things which aim to cut deaths from major diseases by, for example, increasing screening for people with possible heart problems.

 It is of course our fault because some of us still smoke, even more of us are drinking too much and many, many people are eating the wrong type of foodstuffs. 

So if we give up the fags, take the pledge and spend a fortune on “approved” grub we could live a long, healthy and thoroughly miserable life until we are put on the Liverpool Pathway and die of starvation and thirst.

 

And talking of our diets

About 4.7million people are now in food poverty, a report claims today.

The poorest people are forced to spend significantly more than ten per cent of their income on food and non-alcoholic drinks, researchers found.

The very poorest households spend even more of their gross income, almost a quarter, on food.

Many people on low incomes may even be at risk of malnutrition with the poorest households cutting back on fruit by 20 per cent and vegetables by 12 per cent.

The study, carried out for Kellogg’s by the Centre for Economics and Business Research, comes as the food giant pledges to provide Trussell Trust food banks with 15million portions of cereals and snacks over the next three years.

Since the financial crisis began, the number of people fed by Trussell Trust food banks has risen from 26,000 in 2008 to 280,000 last year.

 

That’ll put us further up the league tables...

 

Son of a B......aronet

And alien reptile in disguise George (I wish I was WBanker) Osborne is orf to the place where sprouts come from in an effort to reverse the European Parliament's proposals to curb bankers' bonuses. 

He will of course fail miserably as is his way, and as he has failed more than miserably to “manage” the economy.

But at least he is sticking up for those that have much and still ignoring we who have fuck all as is his wont...

 

Left a lot to the home of roosters and the land of religion

 

Photo: Guzelian

The Church by the Sea at Tampa, Florida, not only resembles a chicken, but a chicken with attitude.

 

Couldn’t resist it....

 

Boldly going to the Red planet in 2018

The man and woman aboard the Inspiration Mars mission set to fly-by the Red Planet in 2018Movie Camera will face cramped conditions, muscle atrophy and potential boredom. But their greatest health risk comes from exposure to the radiation from cosmic rays.

The solution-line the spacecraft’s walls with water, food and their own faeces.

Allegedly solid and liquid human waste products would get put into bags and used as a radiation shield – as well as being dehydrated so that any water can be recycled for drinking. “Dehydrate them as much as possible, because we need to get the water back,” Taber MacCallum, a member of the team funded by multimillionaire Dennis Tito said. “Those solid waste products get put into a bag, put right back against the wall.”

Food too, could be used as a shield, he said. “Food is going to be stored all around the walls of the spacecraft, because food is good radiation shielding,” he said. This wouldn’t be dangerous as the food would merely be blocking the radiation, it wouldn’t become a radioactive source.

The details of Inspiration Mars’s plans have yet to be clarified, but the team has said it will be using “state-of-the-art technologies derived from NASA and the International Space Station”. One idea that is already under consideration by the agency’s Innovative Advanced Concepts programme which funds research into futuristic space technology, is a project called Water Walls, which combines life-support and waste-processing systems with radiation shielding.

 

Good luck with that...

 

And finally:

 

Right to the land of.....something

 

A Finnish toilet paper maker has removed quotes from the Bible, including the words of Jesus that it inadvertently placed on its rolls after protests from some Norwegian church leaders.

Metsa Tissue was trying to convey messages about love but accidentally included lines from the Gospel of Matthew and First Corinthians on toilet paper sold in Norway, Denmark and Sweden.

The firm selected the quotes from Facebook submissions, including one from Jesus: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

It only realized its mistake when it received feedback.

"People like to read small, happy messages while sitting on the toilet," Christina von Trampe, a spokeswoman for Metsa Tissue, which produces the Lambi brand, told Reuters.

"The vast majority of the feedback has been positive. Our intention was to spread love and joy, not religious messages."

Laila Riksaan Dahl the Bishop of Tunsberg in protestant Norway was apparently not amused.
 

No bleedin sense of humour these religious types...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to get a self-sketching whiteboard

 

And today’s thought:

 

 

 

 

Angus

“Unmanageable” medics: ‘Orse Hotel: Honey Badger mints: Are You a Cynic: and a really big fish.

Middling lack of warm, moderate atmospheric movement, missing skywater, massive scrapey, scrapey stuff and believe it or not but the Sun has got his hat on, hip, hip, hip hooray, the Sun has got his hat on and he’s visiting for the day.

Just returned from a very nice weekend with friends up in Cheltenham, at least I think it was ham could have been ‘Orse for all I know, spent the time walking, lunching at public houses and getting my arse kicked by their pair of sadly un-fat teenagers on something called an X-Box.

 

And two minutes after I staggered in the portcullis the God-Botherers arrived this time in the guise of “people” who witnessed Jehovah.

The pair of old farts tried to convince me that we don’t have a soul, when we die that is it, there is no heaven or hell, and when Jehovah returns all the dead people who have been buried will rise up and take over the world.

Which is a bit of luck for those who have been cremated because they won’t have to put up with all the rotting undead lurching about mumbling “bollocks” I was quite happy in my grave.

Not a very happy “religion” then...

 

And I see that her Maj has the squits

 

And if she has the Norovirus she will probably infect the rest of the nurses, doctors and patients in the ‘Orspital.

Bet she isn't laughing now....

 

And talking of ‘Orspital medics

According to the Torygraph an “alarming” threat to patient safety is being posed by the “unmanageable workload” that hospital doctors have to deal with, according to a worrying report published today.

The situation needs to be “urgently addressed” if frail elderly patients are not to be put at further risk, according to the report by the Royal College of Physicians.

Matters are worst in England’s provincial hospitals, according to the College, because they struggle to recruit and retain hospital doctors. It found a “worrying correlation” between low consultant staffing levels and high death rates.

The report comes shortly after Jeremy Hunt, the Health Secretary, announced a review to examine high death rates in 14 hospital trusts. None are in London. Ten of the 14 are in the midlands or north- west England. Experts are due to meet next week to agree a plan on how to tackle the problem.

The Royal College found medical registrars - the grade below consultant level - were being excessively overworked.

 

No change there then, bet her Maj doesn’t have knackered medic....

 

Norf of the border

A new “horse hotel” scheme has been launched by the National Trust for Scotland (NTS) offering “quality assured bed & breakfast” accommodation near the Queen’s Balmoral estate for horses, accompanied by their owners.

On arrival at Mar Lodge Estate, near Braemar, the equine guests are shown to their holiday paddocks to settle in and meet new friends before enjoying days of off-road riding on the estate and on hill tracks including Glens Quoich and Lui.

The idea was the brainwave of horse lover Fiona McCulloch, estate secretary on the trust’s property in the Cairngorms National Park, who realised the acres of land offered opportunities for riders to bring their horses with them.

 

Spiffing-wonder where the nearest Tesco is.....

 

Fancy a nice mint made out of Honey Badgers?

Well know you can indulge your whim, from the Neato Shop comes:

Honey Badger Mints

• Got bad breath? Honey badgers don't care ... but he'll help!
• Net wt. 0.7 oz (20 g)
• Amt: about 100 mints per tin
• Tin size: 2-1/4" dia. x 1/2" (6 cm dia. x 1 cm)

 

Enjoy....

 

From the land of democracy and not a lot of Euros

Did you know that being a “cynic” originally meant you thought the purpose of life was to live virtuously in agreement with Nature, rejecting all conventional desires for wealth, power, sex, and fame; living a simple life free from all possessions. 

That lets me orf the hook then...

 

And finally:

 

West to the land of the place where Jackson comes from

 

In a research vessel stationed off the coast of Jacksonville, Fla., members from OCEARCH captured and tagged another Great White shark Sunday.

She's 14.5 feet long and weighs nearly 2,000 pounds. Her name is Lydia, after Lydia Moss Bradley, the founder of Bradley University and long-time friend of Caterpillar, who is sponsoring OCEARCH for three years. Lydia is the first great white captured, satellite tagged and released in an area south of Cape Cod, Mass.

Researchers found the 2,000-pound shark at the mouth of St. Johns River, which is near the popular surfing spot of Mayport Poles near Jacksonville.

Lydia makes the third great white shark tagged off the East Coast of the United States by OCEARCH. The research group also tagged and is tracking Genie, a 14-foot, nearly 2,300-pound shark, and Mary Lee, a 16-foot, nearly 3,500-pound shark. Both were tagged with a satellite tracking device in September.

 

Couple of things; sod that a lot and I don’t think I will go surfing at Mayport....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to avoid Sky even more

 

And today’s thought:

Well bugger me-or, him, or him, or...

 

Angus

Ban the old boiler: Mr Bean gets the rope: The Sauce of it: Otter gotta lotta fish: and the Pedal powered Gamera II.

Still cold, still damp, still not a lot of atmospheric movement and still bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this first day of “spring”.

Back on the antibiotics due to yet another abscess on one of my remaining toofs, but they still refuse to yank them all out and give me something that doesn’t hurt.

And joy of joys my old fart’s bus pass arrived by snail mail yestermorn complete with a picture of someone I don’t recognise and an expiry date of 2018-I should be so lucky...

 

According to the UK Energy Research Centre

Gas boilers for home heating will have to be virtually eliminated by 2050 if the UK is to meet its carbon reduction targets and the use of petrol and diesel engines to power cars will also need to be "much less dominant" and replaced with electric power and biofuels, a policy meeting in the House of Commons heard.

The conclusions are based on modelling the likely shape of the energy sector in 2050 when greenhouse emissions will need to have fallen by 80% on 1990's level.

Professor Paul Ekins, one of the report’s authors, told MPs and peers home heating would "have to change radically" to meet carbon targets. Efficiency will have to be significantly improved for new and existing buildings with heat provided by electrically driven heat pumps and bioenergy.

District heating is another alternative, already in use in Denmark, where household boilers are replaced by centralised neighbourhood heating systems.

The internal combustion engine will be "much less dominant" by 2050, Ekins said, and replaced with battery powered and fuel cell vehicles.

 

Or they could use fat, carbon free teenagers like the Castle’s heating system....

 

A few years ago

 

Son of a B.......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I could use that rope now to hang myself) Osborne showed his non prowess at coordinated physical activity-otherwise known as skipping, and failed miserably, just as he is doing with the economy. 

Some people never change...

 

West to the home of burgers and the land of Heinz

Westbound traffic on Interstate 80 is back to normal after Nevada Department of Transportation crews used snowploughs to remove thousands of bottles of ketchup that were strewn onto the freeway.

Sgt. Janay Sherven with the Nevada Highway Patrol said crews put sand on the ketchup and then cleaned up the debris.

Health officials also will declare the spilled ketchup a loss so it can be taken to the dump.

A tractor trailer carrying thousands of bottles of Heinz ketchup crashed on Interstate 80 near the Robb Drive overpass this afternoon, spilling its red contents onto the freeway and snarling traffic in the process.

 

That looks worse than the bloodbath in Eastleigh-click on the link over the pic to watch the video.

 

Dahn in Welsh Wales

 

A fish farmer whose entire stock of 22,000 carp was eaten by otters lost his £2million compensation fight yesterday.

Brian Dodson, 60, alleged the Environment Agency had built otter dens to get them to breed.

But a judge at Cardiff High Court said the spread of otters in Tregarth, North Wales, was a “natural process”.

Mr Dodson has £10,000 costs. “I will have to go bankrupt,” he said.

 

Scales of justice?

 

And finally:

 

From the land named after Mary

 

Students at the University of Maryland in the US are a step closer to claiming a sought-after prize for a human-powered helicopter flight.

The American Helicopter Society Sikorsky Prize was introduced in 1980 but has never been claimed.

The students' helicopter, the Gamera II, achieved a world record flight of 65.1 seconds in August 2012, but failed to qualify for the lucrative prize as their craft strayed outside the required area.

The students have now designed a control system to overcome this hurdle, and have their sights firmly set on the claiming the cash reward.

Gamera II weighs 32kg (71 pounds) and is powered by a combination of hand and food pedalling.

To claim the Sikorsky prize, a helicopter must fly under human power for at least 60 seconds. The craft must also reach an altitude of three metres and remain within a 10m square.

Named after Russian-American aviator Igor Sikorsky, the prize offers a $250,000 (£164,000) reward.

Qualifying flights must be certified by a representative of the world governing body for air sports and aeronautics world records, the FAI.

 

Spiffing, bet it would be much better with an engine.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to measure the spin of my black hole.

 

And today’s thought:

Tough luck tosser

 

 

Angus

Make your mind up Clegg: U-Turn Cam costs too much: Shrinking hotel: The “good” old days: Asbo Martin pram: and Mutant tadpoles.

Maximum lack of warm, minimum skywater, moderate atmospheric movement and less solar stuff than you could shake a bottle of suntan lotion at, at the Castle this morn, even later than usual I had to see my General Medic-blood pressure test and a nice blood test form, which meant going up to the Aldershot ‘Elf Centre, paying to park the Honda and sitting in the dungeon until my lucky ticket number came up.

 

And I am going to have to ban anonymous comments because I just don’t have the time sort them out, I have enough spam to take on Tesco in the meat dept.

 

Apparently what’s his name can’t decide whether “Lord” Rennard has been punched or bored

 

According to the Independent the deputy Prime Monster admitted that allegations of sexual harassment were a factor in the peer's decision to quit as the party's chief executive.

Which means that numb nuts Nick dramatically altered his explanation for Lord Rennard's surprise resignation in 2009 which had previously been blamed on ill health. His comments were rejected by the peer's friends, who said he had been warned by his doctors that he could be dead within a year unless he led a less stressful lifestyle.

 

Which seems to be a lucky break for his “Lordship”-or maybe not...

 

And the other half of the job at the top

U-Turn Cam is set to be dropped for this year's festivities in Witney after the bill for the 2012 event – which attracted 8,000 people – hit £45,000 pounds, including £2,300 for the Prime Monster’s security, Town councillors in the Prime Minister's constituency of Witney in Oxfordshire have drawn up plans to spread out the festivities, blaming rising costs and "dangerous" crowd levels.

The PM (T), who last year joined Father Christmas to switch on the seasonal lights, is now set to be dropped from the programme, with council officers looking for cheaper alternatives.

Witney mayor Councillor Eaglestone said: "My plan is to try to spread it over three days at different venues, but not have an official switch-on, no road closure and no David Cameron because it costs us a lot of money and we had criticism from the district council because of the number of people there.

 

Not even your own constituency wants you Dave....

  

East to the land of radiation proof stuff

Passers-by in the Japanese capital’s Akasaka district have witnessed the Grand Prince Hotel being demolished by construction company Taisei Corporation with a rather unique method.

Engineers reinforced the top floor with steel beams and then effectively lopped it off, keeping it in place to be used as an adjustable lid that can be lowered down the building on an external support frame.

Slowly but surely, and with none of the explosions or dust normally associated with the demolition of skyscrapers, the hotel is being torn down.

 

Shame that, they could have turned it into a prison....

 

According to someone the fifties was the bestest

In the USA that is, apparently growth was high, taxes were lower, there was less crime, better education, more spending power, more home ownership, lots of social mobility, oodles of optimism, falling debt and popularity was at a peak.

 

Great: that is if you ignore the racism and homophobia, organised crime and even more racism.

  

Back in “modern” Blighty

The "most exclusive pram in the world" is made with the same materials as Aston Martin's luxury car interiors.

Born from collaboration between Aston Martin and pram-makers Silver Cross, the limited edition pram is "designed to perfection with every detail considered".

The high-specification product boasts a leather-trimmed handle, air-ride suspension and is emblazoned with Aston Martin's iconic wings logo.

The pram's wheels are made from aluminium alloy and based on the wheels of Aston Martin One-77 car, though the automobile equivalent will set you back a cool £1.2m.

Described by Silver Cross as a "must-have for the most fast-paced lifestyle", and with just 800 being made, there is sure to be stiff competition among people who have money to burn.

 

And at £2,000 they can keep it...

 

And finally:

 

According to “researchers”

Eyes hooked up to the tail can help blinded tadpoles see, to learn more about the relationship between the body and the brain, researchers wanted to see how capable the brain was of interpreting sensory data from abnormal "ectopic" locations from which it normally does not receive signals.

Scientists experimented with 134 tadpoles of the African clawed frog Xenopus laevis, a common lab animal. They painstakingly grafted new eyes onto places such as their torsos and tails and then surgically removed their original eyes.

These experimental tadpoles then received a vision test the researchers first refined on normal tadpoles. The tadpoles were placed in a circular arena half illuminated with red light and half with blue light, with software regularly switching what colour light the areas received. When tadpoles entered places lit by red light, they received a tiny electric zap. A motion-tracking camera kept tabs on where the tadpoles were.

Remarkably, the scientists found that six tadpoles that had eyes implanted in their tails could apparently see, choosing to remain in the safer blue-light areas.

 

Time to test on “humans” then-preferably the researchers...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to test my mechanical sausages 

And today’s thought:

Punched or bored-preferably punched

 

Angus

Abuse of Bliar: Sexy arm pits: Japanese love gap tax: Cow/Horse/Cow?: and the Het Arresthuis Hotel.

Oodles of lack of warm, bucket loads of skywater, more than a cough of atmospheric movement and still bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, just returned from the Honda’s MOT-a nice pass with no “to do” thingies so just the insurance in July and the road tax in September to look forward to.

 

Ex Prime Monster Tone Bliar

Is apparently still being abused about the Iraq war,  ten years on from the start of the Iraq War, walnut tan was asked in a candid interview on BBC2’s Newsnight whether he minded if “people call you a liar, some people call you a war criminal, protesters follow you.

"It’s difficult to walk down the street in a country”, he replied: “It really doesn’t matter whether it’s taken its toll on me.

“The fact is yes there are people who will be very abusive, by the way I do walk down the street and by the way I won an election in 2005 after Iraq. However, yes it remains extremely divisive and very difficult.”

Mr Bliar conceded that he had “long since given up trying to persuade people it was the right decision”.

 

Good; because it wasn’t you warmonger....

 

According to “scientists” from the Czech Republic

The Ladies found the odour of sweat from men's shaved armpits more attractive than the sharp smell of hairy armpits. The women, who participated in the study, did not know what kind of samples they were given to smell during the study.

The women could not tolerate the smell from unshaved armpits. The researchers believe that the study showed the process of evolution in action.

Under the pressure of society, women start to prefer weakened odours of the male body or, rather, artificial smells (perfumes, deodorants), while nature provided for a positive reaction to natural sweat odours. Evolution left hair in armpits to attract opposite sexes to each other.

 

Bet the French are excited.....

 

East to the land of negative radioactive effects

It seems that Japan has faced an economic crisis tied with a seriously declining birth rate and an increased aging population.

Economic analyst Morinaga Takuro suggested a novel and rather unique solution to addressing the country’s problem: taxing handsome men.

This proposition of taxing handsome men will supposedly create a way for “homely” guys to find women, get married, and have babies.

Other than the “wealth gap,” Morinaga sees the “love gap” as a fundamental factor of Japan’s declining birth-rate. Therefore, he concludes that if Japan were to tax the ikemen (handsome men) and reduce the taxes of not-so-handsome men, then maybe the country’s economy would be better in a year’s time.

The proposed handsome-men tax would include doubling the taxes of those unlikely chaps who qualify and reducing the taxes by 10-20% for those who are not so handsome. As for the judging of whether someone is handsome or not, there will be a panel of randomly selected women to decide.

 

Glad I don’t live in Japan, I can’t afford any more taxes…

 

Norf of the border

Belted Galloway cow Hettie Moo was orphaned after her mother died while giving birth and she was hand-reared at the Cairngorms Reindeer Centre in Aviemore.

After being spared from the dinner table, she now wows thousands of admiring spectators every year as she struts her stuff for Chariots of Fire.

Having only grown up next to humans and horses, Hettie feels right at home being ridden and attached to a carriage - conquering jumps as high as two foot.

 

Funny that because apparently there are loads of ‘Orses that think they are Cows especially dahn  Tesco's.

 

And finally:

 

Right a bit to the land of old, tall people

People are paying good money to stay in one of Holland's most feared prisons - after it was transformed into a luxury hotel.

The 105 cells at Het Arresthuis have been converted into 40 spacious rooms, featuring modern furnishings and chic interior design, reports the Daily Mail.

All of the rooms are equipped with air conditioning, a flat screen TV, free WiFi, and a personal coffee and tea machine.

The hotel also features a sauna, fitness centre, central patio with olive trees, and an organic herb garden.

It is voted the best hotel in the Dutch town of Roermond and one of the best in all of Holland by users of the Trip Advisor website.

Het Arresthuis - which means The Judgement House - opened its doors in 1862 and quickly established a reputation as an intimidating jail.

After being abandoned for a number of years, the jail reopened in 2002. But in mid 2007 it closed permanently after which construction of the hotel began.

 

Sounds just like one our normal nicks....

 That’s it: I’m orf to stretch a battery

 

And today’s thought:

At least the French economy will get a boost.

 

 

Angus