Osborne -“up yours”: Fire breathing bridge: Gull wing Numpty: Hade’s hole: and a very, very big De Daw.

Many many minus numbers on the liquid metal gauge, layers of scrapey scrapey stuff, not even a whimsy of atmospheric movement and just a hint of dawn’s crack at the Castle this morn.

 

Son of a B....aronet and alien reptile in disguise

George (I’m not in it at all so fuck you) Osborne allegedly did not realise a car he was travelling in was parked in a disabled bay at a motorway service station-according to Aunty.

The Daily Mirror published a photograph of the chancellor getting into a Land Rover parked in the marked bay at Magor services on the M4 near Newport.

But a Treasury source said Mr Osborne had been dropped off to buy lunch.

The unmarked police Land Rover was not driven by the chancellor at any point, added the source.

The incident is understood to have taken place on Wednesday as the chancellor returned from a speaking engagement at a nursery in Cardiff.

The Treasury source told the BBC the chancellor had got into the car and left the scene without realising that it had been parked in the bay.

 

Knob head.....

 

East to the land of Vietnamese

Opened on March 29, the 38th anniversary of the liberation of Da Nang City, the 666 meter long, 37.5 meter wide bridge has six lanes for traffic and two pedestrian sidewalks. The steel arch bridge weighs up to 1,000 tons, making it the biggest in the whole world.

But that’s not all. The Dragon Bridge is outfitted with a modern lighting system that includes 15,000 Philips LED lights that make it brilliantly change colours. In addition, the dragon is capable of releasing bursts of fire or sprays of water from its mouth.
 

Rubbery, or should that be jubbery…..

 

Back over to the ruling country of what is left of Europe

A hapless mechanic is facing a £500,000 bill after pranging a customer's prized classic Mercedes sports car on an unofficial test drive.

The rare 1954 300SL sports car - with its distinctive gull wing doors - had been left at the garage in Pleidelsheim, Germany, for a routine service.

But mechanic Gilsroy Mansen, 26, couldn't resist taking it for a spin and lost control of the 220 bhp vehicle on a bend, say police.

Witnesses say the collector's car - capable of 161 mph - rolled over several times when Mansen skidded trying to overtake another car at high speed.

"To everyone's astonishment, not least the driver's, he walked away without a scratch, which is a testament to how well these old cars were built.

"The driver was more worried about what he was going to say to the owner than he was about himself," said one police crash investigator.

"But sadly the car is in a very sorry state, pretty much destroyed.

"Any ordinary vehicle would be a write off but because this is so rare this mechanic can expect a very large repair bill," they added.

 

Hope the Numpty has insurance.....

 

East to the land where Turkeys don’t come from

Allegedly archaeologists have unearthed the remnants of an ancient mythological cave, ominously described as being the ‘gate to hell.'

The team behind the dig located the portal recently in the ancient Phrygian city of Hierapolis –referred to as the entryway to Hell by Cicero and Greek geographer Strabo.

As the Greek philosopher explained in his writing, the entrance of the cave spews noxious vapours that kill anything in their path.

"Any animal that passes inside meets instant death," he wrote.

"I threw in sparrows and they immediately breathed their last and fell."
This space is full of a vapour so misty and dense that one can scarcely see the ground," he added.

Upon excavation of the site, archaeologists also found Ionic semi-columns that had inscriptions of dedication to the deities of the underworld, Pluto and Kore.

Priests, who would have been hallucinating under the influence of the fumes, would sacrifice bulls to Pluto by leading the animals into the toxic cave, before dragging them out dead, the archaeologist explained.

“We could see the cave’s lethal properties during the excavation,” D’Andria said.

“Several birds died as they tried to get close to the arm opening, instantly killed by the carbon dioxide fumes.”

 

And they blame us for global warming...

 

And finally:

 

East to the place where tea used to come from

 

Scientists have “discovered” a bloody great big venomous Tarantula which is apparently the size of a human face, its legs, which have unique daffodil-yellow markings, span a massive 20cm (eight inches). The arachnid also has a distinctive pink band around its body.

The new species was found in the war-torn north of the South Asian country by scientists from Sri Lanka's Biodiversity Education and Research (BER) organisation.

It has been named Poecilotheria rajaei, in recognition of a senior police officer called Michael Rajakumar Purajah, who guided the research team through a hazardous jungle overrun by civil unrest in order to seek out the spider.

 

I think you would need a roll of wallpaper to sort that one out....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to reboot the ‘Petaflop’ computer

 

And today’s thought:

Grand National Lasagne

 

Angus

Angus got a new motor: Her Maj’s award: Tanks a lot: De-Daw delay: Mines on a reef: and Hover Golf.

Masses of lack of warm, minimal solar stuff, multitudes of atmospheric movement and quite a lot of white fluffy stuff at the Castle this “summer” morn, after travelling Norf of Luton with the butler riding shotgun to ward orf the Apaches I have finally managed to update the Honda-with a Honda, I have gorn for the newer one (civic) with all the bells and whistles-but the best bit is the leather seats which are heated by leccy, pictures here and there if you are interested.

 

The elbow is getting worse, I had a nice early appointment with my general medic yestermorn to try to get it sorted out but when I arrived the electronic book in thingy refused to accept me and told me that my appointment was up at the Aldershot Centre for Elfs so with ten minutes to go I queued at the reception thingy for five minutes while the “staff” mumbled on the phones to obviously more important people so I dashed to the mentioned “Elf Centre”, arrived with a minute to spare, paid my parking ransom and managed to speak to the “receptionist” who told me that “no, your appointment is at the other surgery, but it doesn’t matter because the Doctor has gorn home sick, but another appointment has been made for you at 9.45” with a medic I have never heard of.

The second word I uttered was “orf”, so I went home and couldn’t be bovvered to post.

 

I see that her Maj has got a Bafta

 

For “supporting British film for a lifetime”, so have I, so where’s mine then?

 

East to the land of Russians

A soldier is facing a court marshal after being caught driving a tank into a lamp post while supposedly under the influence.

The incident was captured on the dashboard camera of a motorist who had stopped at a junction.

Footage shows a tank moving towards a crossroads before coming to an abrupt halt.

It sets off again before hitting a nearby lamppost with a dull thud, much to the amusement of the driver behind the camera, and the bemusement of the traffic officer who is seen watching the pissed idiot trying to park.

 

I’d like to see them clamp that.....

 

Over to foreign parks in Kent

 

Plans to build a £2billion theme park to rival Disneyland Paris have been halted – so a colony of extremely rare spiders can be re homed.

Bosses of the Paramount scheme hoped to have the resort – which will be twice the size of the Olympic Park, creating 27,000 jobs – up and running by 2019.

But environmentalists have found distinguished jumping spiders on the 872-acre brown field site at Swanscombe Peninsula, Kent.

The spiders are on a UK priority species list and are only found in one other place in the country, West Thurrock Marshes in Essex.

Unlike many other species, they like the soil, which is particularly alkaline due to previous industrial use.

 

Bet they don’t like rolled up newspapers though...

 

East or West to the Pacific

The commanding officer and three crewmembers aboard a U.S. Navy minesweeper have been relieved of their duties amid an investigation into how the $300 million ship got stuck on a reef near the Philippines and had to be scuttled.

The USS Guardian became stuck on a reef in the Tubbataha National Marine Park, a World Heritage Site in the Sulu Sea some 400 miles southeast of Manila in January.

 

The Navy said in a statement that the officer and crewmembers were relieved because the ship’s grounding did not comply with its navigation procedures and accountability standards.

 

Oh ha-fucking-ha...

 

And finally:

 

Somewhere on a golf course

Bubba Watson who won the 2012 Masters tournament, has given his backing to the latest way of getting around the green - a cross between a buggy and a hovercraft.

The prototype machine allows golfers to glide across grass and launch across lakes, and is fitted with a noise reduction rotor to avoid disturbing those who prefer more conventional modes of transport.

The hovercraft, known as the BW1, features four seats and a roof from a typical golf buggy and has room for two golf caddies.

The machine is a joint project between Watson, Sportswear Company Oakley and Neoteric Hovercraft, the company which built it.

It is not known how much the BW1 cost to build, although Neoteric hovercraft sell for between $16,700 (£11,000) and $65,860 (£43,600) through the company's website.

 

Cheap at half the price-well it would be if it was.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to enter a new realm of physics

 

And today’s thought:

Class Bollocks

 

 

Angus

The benefit of being a millionaire: Noisy is La Mer: Camel balls: and food on the edge.

Positive scrapey-scrapey stuff, negative lack of cold stuff, minus atmospheric movement and just a glimpse of Dawn’s crack this non April fool’s day at the Castle this morn, spent the bank holiday doing sod all, but I did go for a 75 mile drive on the traffic free highways in the sunshine to loosen up the Honda and charge its battery.

I have been thinking of changing the motor for something a bit less old-it’s not going well, so far all I can find are vehicles that have road tax approaching the deficit and insurance that would cost more than Cyprus’s debt. 

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, stale bread is now £1.45 per loafy thing, gruel is £0.97 per tinny thing and ten days ago Whiskas meat in gravy was £3.68 or 2 for £6.00, last Thursday it was £3.38 or 2 for £6.00and today it is £3.00 each box, roll on next week, they will be giving it away.

 

The biggest knob at the Dept of Witless Pillocks (DWP)

Otherwise known as the Irritable Bowel Twins reckons that they could live on 53 squids per week (if they had to); he said the Government’s changes to the benefits system were designed to make it “fair”. Payments would continue to rise, albeit by a below inflation at one per cent a year, when they were actually being cut in some other countries, he insisted.

But earlier on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme he was challenged by a man who earns less than £53 per week.

David Bennett, 51, set up a market trading business three years ago after being made redundant as a credit manager.

Despite working up to 70 hours a week, on some days he earned nothing at all.

But the £2,700 the divorced father of two made last year means he no longer qualifies for the full £75 a week housing benefit towards his privately rented flat. The subsidy has been cut to £57 a week and he also has to pay council tax of £5 a week for the first time.

Later, asked by the presenter if he could live on this amount, Mr Duncan Smith, who is married into a wealthy family, replied: “If I had to, I would.”

Soon afterwards, an online petition was launched challenging Mr Duncan Smith to prove himself and the Tories’ claims that “We’re all in this together”, by living on £53 a week or £7.57 a day for at least a year. Posted on the change.org international internet petition site, it quickly gathered more than 11,000 names.

 

But it has to be for at least a month, or two or three....

 Go on sign it-I have.

 

Cruising wimps

Apparently complaints by cruise ship passengers include one by a woman who moaned about the sea being "too loud", it has been revealed.

And a couple accused a captain of being "rude" for sailing off when they had left a note saying they needed more sightseeing time in port, according to cruise travel agency bonvoyage.co.uk.

One woman, having seen that Take-That star Gary Barlow had been on her ship on an earlier trip, demanded an explanation as to why the singer was not on her voyage.

Then there was the man who complained about not getting "an impressive tan" and being unable to swim in the pool each day while on a trip around ... Alaska.

A woman travelling with the company called Celebrity Cruises asked for a refund as there were "no celebrities on board", while a couple wanted compensation after forking out "a lot more money than planned" on staff tips due to the excellent service.

The woman who complained about the loudness of the sea said she had not been able to sleep well on her Mediterranean cruise.

She demanded cabins be "better sound-proofed against the sounds of the sea".

Another female traveller, having booked an inside cabin, then complained about not having a view of the sea and asked for a window to be installed.

 Tossers....

 

Somewhere in Saharan Blighty

A mum got the hump after her seven-year-old daughter was sold a pack of bubblegum called Camel Balls.

The gum is not only shaped like them, but there is also a graphic picture of a camel’s backside on the packet.

Ruby McKenzie’s mum Charlene, 26, said: “I was disgusted as I think that it’s totally inappropriate.

“I am more upset with the company that makes the gum than the shops that sell it.

“It’s OK for adults and a bit of a laugh, but I can’t see the funny side when they are kept in the sweet section of shops where children like Ruby will see them,” added Charlene, of Birmingham.

Paul Southam, managing director of Fini Sweets UK, which distributes Camel Balls, said as a parent he had faced a “moral issue” before agreeing to the deal, but had received only one complaint.

He said. “I do sympathise with the parent here. But it’s supposed to be funny and a bit of a joke.”

 

No sense of humour some people, they could have brought one out called ‘Orses Dick or even Cows C---......

 And finally:

 

East to the land of lots of stuff

There’s a particular mountain in the Hubei Province, 12 km north of the city of Yichang, where you can actually experience fine-dining on the side of a cliff.

Located in the Happy Valley of Xiling Gorge, the Fangweng hanging restaurant offers a breathtaking view of its natural surroundings to adventurers brave enough to set foot in it.

The brick building that acts as an entrance to the Fangweng Restaurant leads the 30-meter-long narrow concrete bridge hanging on the side of a vertical cliff overlooking the Yangtze River.

Luckily, there’s a metal railing you can grab on to while you crawl your way to the actual restaurant. The bridge leads to a dining hall carved into the cliff-side, where most of the tables are set.

Warmly lit by traditional lamps hanging from the ceiling and decorated with Chinese furnishings, the cave itself is a sight to behold, but the main attractions of Fangwen are the two concrete platforms extending away from the cliff, from where diners can see all the wonders of Happy Valley or watch bungee jumpers as they leap off a nearby bridge.

 

Fuck that….

 That’s it: I’m orf to interrogate the fish in the freezer

 

And today’s thought:

From the (old) Tory rich list:

 

No.3 George Osborne- worth £4.3 Million+

Chancellor

His dad Sir Peter co-founded luxury wallpaper and fabrics company Osborne & Little. George has a trust of 15 per cent and stands to inherit a substantial share.

In 2003, when the firm delisted from the London Stock Exchange, it was valued at £12.9m.

George and wife Frances have a home in London's Notting Hill worth around £1.8m and a constituency property (£500k). Her father is life peer Howell of Guildford, a former Minister in Margaret Thatcher's cabinet.

And earns £134,565 as Chancellor - just over £15,000 short of 50p tax threshold.

After 50 years of work pensioners get around £7,500 per year (plus a few extras).

Angus

 

A strike: another strike: Debacle: another Debacle: Old farts house call: Rubbery bacon: and Lockheed’s quantum computer.

Late this non religious morn, took a couple of industrial strength painkillers to battle the elbow agony and zonked out for fourteen hours; the wevver is as usual-gargantuan amounts of lack of warm, gigantic amounts of lack of solar stuff, humungous amounts of lack of atmospheric movement and not a jot of skywater.

 

Apparently U-Turn Cam has managed to piss orf quite a lot of non shirkers

Those who are entrusted with the education of Blighty’s brats are allegedly going to press ahead with industrial action, despite a letter from the education secretary ruling out any retreat over changes to teachers’ pensions and performance pay.

Speaking at the beginning of the National Union of Teacher’s annual conference in Liverpool, general secretary Ms Blower said the union was not backing down.

"We are not rowing back from our position. We have put forward these reasonable demands and we want to talk to him about them," she said.

"Negotiation is about sitting across the table having an exchange and listening to people."

 

How about listening to the parents and children......

 

 And:

 

All across snail mail UK

About 2,000 staff at Post Office Crown offices have gone on strike in a row over jobs, pay and closures.

Members of the Communication Workers Union have walked out at 370 sites in a dispute over proposals to close or franchise out 70 of the branches.

The union said the plans would affect hundreds of jobs and be a further blow for already struggling High Streets.

The Post Office said the union was ignoring "harsh realities", with the offices losing £40m a year.

Crown offices are Post Office branches directly managed by the company - as opposed to locally-run by sub-post offices - mainly based in major High Streets.

The Communication Workers Union (CWU) claimed that staff had not had a pay rise for two years.

 

Neither has anyone else....

 

And:

 

The Irritable Bowel twins

Have admitted that they are no longer seeking to cut Britain’s benefits bill and is simply “managing” the increase in handouts.

The Secretary of the Dept of Witless Pillocks said that, unlike other European nations, the “reality is that this country is not cutting welfare”. He added that “all those on benefits will still see cash increases in every year of this Parliament”.

The Government’s Office for Budget Responsibility has shown that the total benefit bill will be almost £18billion higher in 2015-16 than in 2011-12 – the equivalent of about £1,000 for every household.

He was speaking ahead of the introduction of Universal Credit, which will begin to be rolled out next week and which will initially involve spending more on out-of-work benefits.

 

And talking of “Universal Benefits”

 

More than 4 million small companies have been told they can miss next month’s deadline for complying with the new Real Time Information (RTI) system, which will underpin the overhauled welfare rules.

Universal Credit will replace several existing benefits in a single welfare payment, and is intended to make sure that claimants are always better off in employment than out of work.

To ensure that work always pays more, Universal Credit payments will be adjusted regularly depending on how much claimants are earning in work. HM Revenue and Customs’ current PAYE system only tracks workers’ earnings on an annual basis.

Under the new RTI rules, employers should report wage payments to staff as soon as they are made – information that will then be used to adjust weekly welfare payments.

The Coalition this week admitted that the first pilot scheme for Universal Credit has been downgraded, meaning only one Job Centre will start accepting claims for the new benefit this month.

 

I see that “Plan A” is working well then....

 

Up in Sarf Yorkshire

An old folks’ bingo night descended into farce when two rival players had a punch-up.

Police were called as the OAPs in their late 60s traded blows after one accused the other of shouting “house” too early.

The crinkly clash stunned residents and staff ­gathered for the social evening in a community room of the council sheltered ­accommodation.

Officers were called by a housing official as the situation got out of hand.

One of the bingo battlers was given a warning by the council after the brawl at the home in Greasbrough, South Yorkshire.

Community policeman Simon Ellis said: “It was the first call of our evening shift and it’s definitely not the usual type of call we get.

“We spoke to both parties and gave them advice.

“We just said they can’t be acting like that. One of them will be getting a warning from the council. Staff didn’t want her arrested.”

A council spokeswoman said of the punch-up: “We have given one woman a tenancy warning about her future conduct.”

 

Dangerous game Bingo.....

 

East to the home of Porcus and the land of contraception

A company has produced what they claim is the world's first bacon-flavoured condoms.

The savoury rubbers not only boast a meaty appearance but are said to taste like bacon and are coated in a bacon lubricant.

Seattle-based JD Foods say the product is for "a discerning bacon-lover that hates the smell of coconut and/or have always wanted to bring even more Bacon into the bedroom".

A statement from self-styled 'Bacontrepreneurs' Justin Esch and David Lefkow reads: "Truly the new standard of animal protein themed prophylactics Bacon Condoms are proudly made in America of the highest quality latex and rigorously tested to help ensure the utmost reliability and safety for when you're makin' Bacon.

"And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D's baconlube? an ultra premium Bacon flavoured personal lubricant."

 

Johnny good?

 

And finally:

 

Still in the cross hairs of Norf Korea

Lockheed Martin has gorn quantum, they have already bought an early version of the computer from the Canadian company D-Wave Systems two years ago —and  is apparently confident enough in the technology to upgrade it to commercial scale, becoming the first company to use quantum computing as part of its business.

Quantum computing is so much faster than traditional computing because of the unusual properties of particles at the smallest level. Instead of the precision of ones and zeros that have been used to represent data since the earliest days of computers, quantum computing relies on the fact that subatomic particles inhabit a range of states. Different relationships among the particles may coexist, as well. Those probable states can be narrowed to determine an optimal outcome among a near-infinitude of possibilities, which allows certain types of problems to be solved rapidly.

 

Super, smashing, quarks and stuff.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to test out smell-o-vision

 

And today’s thought:

No ‘Orses in this Chinese grub.

 

 

And don’t forget to time travel one hour into the future tonight.

 

Angus

 

Unloading in Taiwan: Finnish pig in a poke: Cat-nav: Miserable old farts: and a very old hot cross bun.

Amazing amounts of lack of warm, not even a whimsy of atmospheric movement, nary a drop of skywater and Dawn’s crack has buggered orf to somewhere else at the Castle this morn, the elbow is still iffy, but I do have a “tennis elbow clamp” which is about as easy to put on as a posh accent and works as well as the NHS.

 

East to the land of bamboo and stuff

 

A Taiwanese lorry driver makes a delivery.

 

Elfandsafety would have a seizure if they knew......oh shit.....

 

Up to the even colder bit of what is left of Europe

Hotel Finn in the heart of Helsinki is seeking a "professional sleeper" for 35 days to test their rooms and write all about it.

Hotel manager Tio Tikka says he thought up the stunt to help promote the hotel after lengthy renovations.

Tikka said Wednesday that they were looking for a "dynamic person to write a quality blog" about their daily experiences at the basic hotel, which has no bar or restaurant.

Requirements: Fluent Finnish and English, Russian a plus. The job opens May 17 with applications closing end of April.

So far more that 600 would-be hotel sleepers have applied.

So I could stay in the nice warm Castle with food and drink or spend a month and a bit in one room without a menu or libation....hmmm, tough choice.

 

Norf of the border

A cat owner has developed a tracking device which enables owners to map the exact whereabouts of their pet.

Dave Evans created the device, known as the ‘cat-nav’, as he wanted to know where his cat Yollo was travelling to and why he was gaining weight.

He is now marketing the product as G-Paws, and curious pet owners will be able to purchase the gadget for £50.

The device weighs just half an ounce and is attached to the pet’s collar. When the animal returns, owners can download information stored on the device to a website, where they will be able to see exactly what their pet has been up to via a series of Google Earth satellite images.

Evans is now working on developing a social networking site to work with G-Paws. He says it will enable users to see where their pets have been, share photos, videos and other information.

 

Think I would rather stay in ignorance and save the fifty quid.

 

Are you H.A.P.P.Y or not

Apparently low expectations about the future and a gloomy outlook could be the keys to a longer, healthier life, according to a surprising new study published by the American Psychological Association (APA).

In the study, older people, ages 65 to 96, who thought life would get worse had much better health outcomes and lived longer than those who anticipated better days ahead.

The researchers also point out that optimists may look at life through rose-colored glasses and ignore the truth about the health risks associated with aging, while the pessimists have a more realistic view of the threats ahead and thus may be more proactive about taking care of themselves.

For example, seniors who anticipate that their health is likely to decline may get more medical exams, exercise more, lose weight, avoid smoking, or eat a better diet to ward off disease, while those with a “don’t worry, be happy” outlook may not consider it necessary to take steps to protect themselves.

To find out how accurate the participants’ expectations about the future were, the researchers contacted the participants five years after the initial interview. They also tracked rates of death and disability during that time span, with the following results:

43 percent of the oldest group (the pessimists) had underestimated how satisfied they would be

25 percent predicted accurately

32 percent (the optimists) had overestimated their future satisfaction

The more overly optimistic the seniors were about the future, the higher their rates of disability and death were during the study period. Each increase in overestimating future life satisfaction was associated with a 9.5 percent rise in disabilities and 10 percent increased risk of death, the study found.

 

Looking on the bright side:
 

Researchers have linked not being a miserable old fart to these benefits:

Greater resistance to colds and other infections

Lower risk of death from heart disease- Duke researchers tracked 2,800 patients who had been hospitalized for heart disease. Patients were asked to fill out a questionnaire about their feelings about their diagnosis, treatment, and prospects for recovery. Ten years later, 46 percent of those with a bleak outlook had died, compared to 32 percent of those with the positive outlook.

Better emotional health

Superior athletic performance- A study by Martin Seligman found that optimistic sports teams were more successful than those who expected to lose.  

Greater career success- Another Duke study found that MBA students with an upbeat attitude received more job offers and were promoted faster than their gloomier counterparts.

 

So you can be a miserable, poor, knackered old git living to a hundred or a happy, rich, fulfilled old fart who is content with the three score and ten.

 

And finally:

 

On this not too bad Friday

A woman has the world's oldest hot cross bun - baked on Good Friday in 1821 and passed down through five generations.

Nancy Titman, 94, keeps the 192-year-old bun in a box and amazingly it still has a cross on the top and shows no traces of mould.

The fruity bun, which has even retained its smell, was made by Nancy's great, great, great grandfather William Skinner, who owned a bakery in London.

It was made in the same year as Napoleon died, George IV was crowned king, poet John Keats passed away and John Constable painted his famous Hay Wain picture.


"It is rock hard like a fossil and the currants have disintegrated, but it still smells and looks like a hot cross bun, with the cross on the top."

Nancy was given the bun, which has the date March 1821 on the base, by her mum and she plans to hand it down to her own daughter Anthea and her 10-year-old granddaughter Hannah.

"My mum said our ancestors worked in a baker's shop and they believed buns baked on Good Friday didn't go mouldy, which this has proved," added Nancy, from Deeping St James, Lincs.

"It's a relic which has been passed down through our family and we get it out every Good Friday," said Nancy.

 

I get mine out every Good Friday-for all the good it does....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the Ouya

 

And today’s thought:

 

 

Angus

 

Still here: Don’t look Dahn Unda: Sea Launch: and not a Pooh stick in sight.

Usual at the Castle this morn-bloody cold, a whimsy of atmospheric movement, layers of week old snow and not even a glimmer of solar stuff, I spent most of yesterday “sorting out” my Bro-in-laws TV, something that should have taken half an hour turned into a five hour marathon-checked the aerial, checked the freeview box, checked the cables-all OK, checked the TV-OK, it turned out that the transmitter he was tuned to dahn near Haslemere had gorn tits up and all was returned to normal later in the evening.

 

Glad I use the London one.

 

The elbow is still about as much use as the Gov; it doesn’t work and refuses to listen to reason.

Many, many sorries for not visiting, answering emails, replying to comments, I will get round to it...

 

Fancy some gluten-free stuff Dahn Unda

Then don’t bother to go to Celiac Supplies in Brisbane because they are charging $5 just to have a look around, a sign on the store's door, posted online by Reddit user BarrettFox, reads: "There has been high volume of people who use this store as a reference and then purchase goods elsewhere. These people are unaware our prices are almost the same as the other stores."

The store's owner, Georgina, told the AAP newswire she's "had a gutful of working and not getting paid."

"I'm not here to dispense a charity service for Coles and Woolworths to make more money," said the woman, who didn't give her last name.

 

Bit of cutting orf the nose to spite the face methinks....

 

Somewhere on the one of the big wet salty things

Are two giant ships, a NASA-like mission control and a launch pad floating on the ocean, forming part of a multi-national venture for blasting commercial satellites into space. Sea Launch was established in 1995 as a consortium of four companies from Norway, Russia, Ukraine and the United States, managed by Boeing with participation from the other shareholders. Operated by the Russians, this commercial spacecraft launch service uses a mobile sea platform for equatorial launches of payloads on specialized Zenit 3SL rockets. Since the first rocket flight on March 1999, it has assembled and launched thirty-one rockets, with three failures and one partial failure.

The ship and launch platform operate from the home port in Long Beach, California, where the customer satellite is encapsulated in a Boeing-built fairing/adapter. The satellite is moved to the ship, where it is mated to the three-stage rocket, which then is moved to the launch platform for transportation to the launch site, where it is moved into upright position. The rocket is automatically fuelled and launched as engineers and customers control events from the nearby command ship.

 

I hope they have checked the batteries if Boeing is involved.....

 

And finally:

 

Messing about over the river-or not

The World Pooh Sticks Championships this weekend has been cancelled because the River Thames is too high and running too fast for safety boats.

More than 500 people from across the globe had been expected to take part in the game, invented by Winnie-the-Pooh creator AA Milne.

The competition, in which participants drop sticks into the river from one side of a bridge to see which emerges first at the other, has been taking place at Day’s Lock in Little Wittenham, Oxon for the last 30 years.

 

Oh.........POOH......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to have a gander at Jodrell’s big Orrery

 

And today’s thought:

 

Dunderheads are go

 

Angus

 

The joy of spring: fat flyers: kissing a pussy: and the Null Ship.

Much snowy stuff, even more lack of warm, not quite as much atmospheric movement and sod all solar activity at the Castle this morn, the white stuff, a touch of frost and skywater has managed to bollocks up the interweb thingy all weekend, every time I tried to post it went tits up and then came back on when I gave up-ditto-ditto-ditto, so I eventually submitted to nature and abandoned the blog until today. 

All seems connected-so far, the elbow isn’t recovering that well, been four days since the pecking and it still hurts like buggery (I know because I have had a prostate exam).

Shortish post this morn-just in case.

 

Right a bit to the land of Norwegians

Allegedly plans are afoot which would see passengers pay according to how much they – and their luggage – weigh.

Norwegian aviation expert Dr Bharat P Bhatta’s ideas could also mean falling costs for slimmer travellers.

Dr Bhatta of the Sogn og Fjordane University College in Norway said: ‘As weight and space are far more important in aviation than other modes of transport, airlines should take this into account when pricing their tickets.’

Airline bosses are to consider three variations, including a scheme where air-users would be charged according to their weight along with their luggage.

Another option would see passengers paying a base fare plus or minus an extra charge.

A third variant would see a standard fare for passengers within 25 per cent above or below a set weight limit, with a discount or surcharge depending on whether they are over or under that span.

 

Jumbo Jets?

 

East even more to Malaysia

Mulan Jamila, a four-year-old Bengal tiger, shares a sloppy kiss with keeper Soleh.

The pair has become inseparable and have regular rough and tumble play fights at the Al Khaffah Islamic school in Malang in Indonesia’s east Java province.

The tiger was a gift from a friend and is kept as a pet under a government permit.

Mulan Jamila has been Soleh’s pet since the age of three months and now gets through 11 pounds of meat a day. 

 

Good luck with that-wonder how much a human head weighs....

 

And finally:

 

Back to the land of Italians and about 343 years

A vacuum airship, also known as a vacuum balloon, is a hypothetical airship that is evacuated rather than filled with a lighter than air gas such as hydrogen or helium. First proposed by Italian monk Francesco Lana de Terzi in 1670, [1] the vacuum balloon would be the ultimate expression of displacement lift power. …

An airship operates on the principle of buoyancy where air is the fluid in contrast to a ship where water is the fluid. The density of air at standard temperature and pressure is 1.28 g/L and 1 L of displaced air has sufficient buoyant force to lift 1.28 g. Airships use an airbag to displace a large volume of air; the bag is usually filled with a lightweight gas such as helium. The total lift generated by an airship is equal to the weight of the air it displaces, regardless of the materials used in its construction or the gas used to fill the airbag; However for flight it is necessary for the total lift capacity to exceed the ship’s weight, which includes the weight of the gas used to fill the airbag

Using the molar volume, the mass of 1 L of helium (at 1 atmospheres of pressure) is found to be 0.18 g, since every displaced litter provides 1.28 g of lift the effective lift is reduced by 14%.

Vacuum airships would theoretically replace the helium gas with a near-vacuum environment and would theoretically be able to provide the full lift potential of displaced air. The main problem with the concept of vacuum airships however is that with a near-vacuum inside the airbag, the outside pressure would exert enormous forces on the airbag and causing it to collapse if not supported. Though it is possible to reinforce the airbag with an internal structure, it is theorized that any structure strong enough to withstand the forces would invariably weigh the vacuum airship down and exceed the total lift capacity of the airship, preventing flight …

Worth a try though....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to water an advert

 

And today’s thought:

Spring has sprung

 

 

Angus