Buggered up

No posts for the foreseeable future, the right elbow has locked up completely (and the left one isn't much better), awaiting appointment with the General Medic-next Monday.....

I have tried elbow grease with not a lot of success.

But here is a snap of his Maj in ambush mode on top of the kitchen cupboards to keep you amused.

Angus

Hijack a plane?-there’s an app for that: C-U Irn Bru: Soup of the day: Lambo Law: and Scottish polish.

More than enough skywater, nearly enough lack of cold, overdone atmospheric movement and bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, I was rudely awakened at 3.05 of the am by the sound of wet stuff hitting the windows, or in other words it chucked it dahn until 5 of the am by which time I decided that it was time to rise and moan.

And it seems that today isn’t going to get much better.

 

East a whimsy to the land of the Luftwaffe

A 30 year old tosspot called Hugh Teso reckons that he was able to exploit gaps in an aeroplane's data system and take it over with a few presses of a button.

Addressing the Hack in the Box conference in Amsterdam, Mr Teso said he developed an app for Android called PlaneSploit that could interfere with a plane's flight management systems.

Using a flight simulator he said he could make the plane "dance to his tune" and demonstrated how he was able to control everything from its air conditioning to its navigational systems.

The app itself appears as an animated cockpit complete with buttons to direct the aircraft to a specific location or send it crashing to the ground.

One function would make lights flash inside the cockpit, giving a terrified pilot the impression that the aircraft's systems were failing.

The hacking would only work if the aircraft was set to autopilot and could be over ridden by a pilot manually retaking control of the plane, Mr Teso said.

The US Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) said it did not believe Mr Teso's claim to be able to take over an aircraft.

 

Or at least they hope so.....

 

 Norf of the Border

 

A new advert for Irn Bru - under investigation over claims that it's anti-English - is becoming a smash hit online.

The ad, entitled New Fella, shows a Scottish dad drinking Irn-Bru to keep his temper in check as he meets his daughter's new English boyfriend, reports The Scotsman.

The father struggles to keep his cool as he chats with the lad who wears an England shirt and has a bulldog called Wembley which breaks wind on a Saltire rug.

So far, the 40-second clip has attracted nearly 70 complaints to advertising watchdogs - and more than 1.1million views on YouTube.

Irn Bru maker AG Barr's Facebook page was inundated with complaints about the advert, including one from Peter Menzies, who said: "It's too stereotypical that all Scots hate the English."

Craig Russell added: "When did racism become funny? Bru ads can be much wittier than this stereotypical trash."

A spokesman for Irn-Bru said: "We've not set out to cause offence. Our ads are known for their cheeky sense of humour."

An ASA spokesman confirmed the complaints were being assessed.

 

Never touch the stuff....

 

West to the home of the tealeaf and the land of GPS

Eusebio Diaz Acosta was arrested and charged with stealing a tractor trailer loaded with $75,000 worth of Campbell’s soup bound for a Publix grocery store from a truck stop in Central Florida.

The police were able to track the truck and its cargo via the truck’s GPS system, and pulled over the stolen rig on the Florida Turnpike. That’s when Acosta, 51, was arrested and charged with two counts of grand theft — one each for the tractor trailer and the cargo, according to the Sun Sentinel.


Wonder if he had a tin opener….

 

East more than a lot to the land of oil and stuff

Dubai's police force has unveiled its latest patrol car - a specially modified, quarter-of-a-million pound Lamborghini Aventador, capable of speeds up to 217mph.

In Dubai, where petrol is cheaper than drinking water, authorities face significant challenges to curb road accidents caused by speeding. 

Last year, official figures put road deaths at 122, with 2,161 injuries, many of which occurred on the emirate's notorious Sheikh Zayed highway.

Around 15% of traffic fines issued in Dubai every day are for driving at speeds in excess of 130mph, police figures released in March showed.

Last year, Dubai police announced they had issued 67,000 traffic fines in one month alone, 2,000 of which were for reversing on motorways.

 

Good luck with that, think I’ll stick to the Honda.

 

And finally:

 

Norf of the border again

Scottish company Mitchell & King has launched a limited edition car wax in honour of the ultimate luxury lifestyle car race – the goldRush Rally.

The GRV car wax boasts a gold shimmer and will apparently protect the vehicle for up to 4 months.

The container is milled from the finest grade Titanium, coated with 24ct Gold and encrusted with Swarovski crystals and 10 x 0.5-carat, F Colour, VS2, brilliant round cut diamonds and includes 2 24-carat gold rings, as well as the application of GRV wax by a Mitchell & King approved detailer. Oh, and the wax will be delivered personally by the company’s director.

 

And all for the meagre price of………£63005.53 per bottle

 

Pass….

 

That’s it: I’m orf to go bat hunting

 

And today’s thought:

You’re nicked

 

Angus

Second best Blighty: It’s a Pigs Life: Aunties Elfandsafety: and the Aryayek Time Travelling Machine.

Many, many drops of skywater, nary a wheeze of atmospheric movement, quite a lot of lack of cold and not a glimmer of solar stuff at the Castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, even more interweb robots to avoid and according to the “price check” thingy I managed to save 1p over the other places I could have gorn to spend my dosh.

Woke up this morn with a really, really big Quasi, don’t know why I think it must be the loss of the rusty old bag taking its toll.

 

I see that the “debate” over the old handbag is continuing

 

Pic from Funny Pictures

And after almost two days, endless bleedin hours of mas-terbate in the arse of Commons and seven hundred “news” items the old fart will be planted next Wednesday after being dragged through the Smoke on a (part time) gun carriage.

Of course the Millionaires Club Sideboard won’t tell us how much we are going to fork out for the forking waste of time and money because as usual they don’t have a clue.

 

Roll on next Thursday....

 

 

According to U.S. “Economists”

Britain has been ranked as the second most advanced country in the world in a new measure designed to rival GDP.

And the UK outstrips the United States, Germany, France and Japan for overall progress in living standards, infrastructure and individual opportunity.

Only Sweden scores more highly overall in the new “Social Progress Index” (SPI), which ranks 50 leading countries by combining figures on everything from health and crime to broadband access and freedom of speech.

According to the authors, Britain’s constant efforts to “straddle” Europe and America have made it one if the best places to live in the world overall.

 

Oh har-fucking-har, you can tell they don’t live here....

 

West to the home of economists and the land of this little piggy

A pig pardoned by the Piggly Wiggly grocery chain and sent to a farm to live out the rest of its life has been shot to death after it escaped from its pen in Charleston County.

Deputies said the 700-pound pig named Maggie was killed Tuesday afternoon by a 26-year-old man, who told investigators he was afraid the pig was going to cause a wreck.

But witnesses told deputies the man said he was going to kill the pig and take it to a local butcher, then went home to get a pistol. They also told investigators the man appeared to be trying to load the dead animal into his vehicle before more people arrived.

Deputies wrote a citation for malicious injury to animals that carries a $1,092 fine.

 

“Malicious injury”, a bit of an understatement methinks...

 

Back in second best Blighty and to wherever Auntie is nowadays,

Allegedly BBC workers are fuming after being told they are not allowed to pick up hot sausages with tongs or make their own toast – in case they burn themselves.

The BBC Club, set up as a private-members group for employees in 1924, was put in charge of the Beeb canteen on April 2.

But just a week later, staff at the Media Centre in White City, West London, are complaining at the “health and safety crackdown” that means they cannot pick up sausages – even with tongs.

BBC bosses defended the apparently new restrictions, claiming that such actions had “never” been allowed.

Which does explain a lot....

 

And finally:

 

East to one of the “troubled” countries

Apparently Ali Razeghi, a Tehran scientist has registered "The Aryayek Time Travelling Machine" with the state-run Centre for Strategic Inventions.

The device can predict the future in a print out after taking readings from the touch of a user, he told the Fars state news agency.

Razeghi, 27, said the device worked by a set of complex algorithms to "predict five to eight years of the future life of any individual, with 98 percent accuracy".

According to the “scientist” "My invention easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users. It will not take you into the future it will bring the future to you."

Razeghi says Iran's government can predict the possibility of a military confrontation with a foreign country, and forecast the fluctuation in the value of foreign currencies and oil prices by using his new invention.

 

Not working that well is it Razeghi; back to the drawing board: but you probably know that already.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to edit some Google maps

 

And today’s thought:

This tinnitus is giving me the hump

 

Angus

If only: New Age lunacy: Sting in the tale vodka: Origami condoms: Big Dick at Nurburgring: and Smelling Rosemary.

Loads of ex skywater, limited atmospheric movement, little lack of cold and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, the “nues” seems to have returned to its usual level of coverage and the left elbow appears to have come out in sympathy with its opposite joint.

 

Allegedly the bit next to the leaning tower of Westminster

Will be packed with those on benefits to laud the memory of the old bag that snatched milk from the young.

 

Now North Korea NOW!

 

Left a whimsy from the Smoke

A woodland beauty spot is to be turned into what is believed to be the first official purpose built New Age travellers camp in Britain.

The site at Haldon Hill, near Exeter, Devon, has been used illegally by travellers for 12 years, but is now to be revamped using £1.11 million of taxpayer’s money.

The proposal will replace the existing ramshackle camp with 15 official plots for “new travellers” under plans approved by Teignbridge District Council.

Communal allotments, a children’s play area and composting bins will all be installed at the site as part of the project.

Parking for visitors along with new sanitation will also be installed while the camp will have a permanent site manager.

It has been given approval under a Government initiative announced last year to provide £60 million of funding for new official gypsy and traveller sites.

 

Wonder how many “proper” homes £1.1 million would build...

 

East to the land where radiation has no effect-honest...

It is said that the Japanese giant hornet has a quarter-inch stinger that pumps out venom containing an enzyme so strong that it can literally dissolve human tissue. The sting of a giant hornet causes excruciating pain, yet some people are willing to endure a few stings while trying to capture them to make a special kind of shouchuu (Japanese liquor similar to vodka).

Allegedly someone who is stung by a Japanese giant hornet who doesn’t receive proper treatment soon thereafter can die from an allergic reaction to the venom. About 40 deaths related to giant hornet stings are recorded every year.

In Japan’s Kumamoto Prefecture huntsmen catch hornets and leave them to ferment in alcohol for three years, fermented wasp shouchuu apparently has an unappetizing muddy-brown colour and smells a bit like rotting flesh.

To prepare the liquor, a large number of live wasps are placed in a large mason jar, which is then filled with shouchuu. The jar is then sealed and the hornets left to drown in the alcohol. Desperate to escape, they release their venom which gives the drink its signature taste and curative properties.

 

Num-num-num can’t wait to try that....

 

Staying with the Japanese theme

A small business in California called Origami Condoms is working on a revolutionary new prophylactic modelled after the Japanese art of paper folding which has won the approval of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for being the only design to radically change the contraceptive.

Origami Condoms' design, which has condoms folded up rather than rolled up like the ones currently sold at most stores that sell health and convenience products, acts as a loose-fitting sheath when it's in use and is said to move with the natural movement of the body.

Origami Condoms are still in clinical testing and will not be available for purchase until early 2015 at the soonest, according to Resnic.

The condom designs must first go through several phases testing before the company can apply for FDA approval, he said.

Resnic said his company has not yet set a price for their accordion-shaped condoms, that they will likely cost more than traditional rubbers.

 

Of course they will-that’s the price of “progress”....

 

Over to the land that is known for precision and engineering

Germany’s iconic Nurburgring, home of motor racing since the 1920s, has been defaced by vandals who daubed a penis onto the track at the notorious Brunnchen corner.

The incident is believed to have happened on Saturday night, with the world ‘Danish’ written alongside the genitalia – apparently aimed at a Danish driver who has previously used the track.

The incident left German police to call in a paint-stripping machine to remove the artwork and dry out the surface – an operation which took hours and left the Nurburgring out of use to ‘tourist rides’ on Sunday.

 

No sense of humour the Germans...

 

And finally:

 

According to “experts”

The smell of rosemary could boost your memory; the aroma of essential oil from the herb could improve memory in healthy adults, according to researchers from the University of Northumbria.

The smell may enhance the ability to remember events and to remember to complete tasks at particular times, they said.

A group of 66 people were given memory tests in either a rosemary-scented room or another room with no scent. Participants were tasked with various tests to assess their memory functions, including finding hidden objects and passing specified objects to researchers at a particular time.

The results, presented at the British Psychological Society's annual conference in Harrogate, showed that participants in the rosemary-scented room performed better on the prospective memory tasks than those in the room with no smell.

 

Great.....now what was it again......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to have a frack in the garden-now that is safe...

 

And today’s thought:

 

 

Angus

Death of an old handbag: Turbulent Climate change: $1.5 million ribbits: Quantum Entanglement: and Nicked Nutella.

Bucket loads of skywater, barmy amounts of lack of warm, bits and pieces of atmospheric movement and bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, the elbow is still misbehaving, the butler is still gathering fat, carbon neutral teenagers and his Maj has discovered the joy of teleportation (at least I think that is what he does).

 

Apparently the world has stopped turning and there is only one bit of news this morn

 

It seems that some demented old fart has popped her (?) clogs in a rundahn area of the Smoke known as the Ritz Hotel; the octogenarian was once allegedly the first and last female (?) Prime Monster who managed to set the precedent of selling orf all and sundry to fund tax cuts for the rich, she (?) also managed to sell orf many, many council houses and took the money for tax cuts for the rich instead of allowing councils to build replacements, she (?) destroyed heavy industry, the car building sector, coal production, the chuff-chuff network, phone line supplies, water delivery, leccy lines and gas guzzling, using the dosh raised to give tax cuts to the rich.

She (?) put millions on the dole knackered the NHS, and set up the groundwork for the financial debacle which we now enjoy and kept us in the EU (sound familiar).

And apparently she (?) gave the Thatcherites the wonderful moral direction of “take what you want, take it know and sod everyone else” which survives to this day. 

Allegedly she (?) will have a “state funeral” with soldiers and everything which will cost more than a few bob. 

All I can hope for is that Him/Her upstairs will pronounce sentence on the old bag and give her the afterlife she (?) deserves.

 

Margaret Hilda Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher, LG, OM, PC, FRS 1925-2013-good fucking riddance....

 

Enough of all this bollocks:

 

High above the big salty thing on the left

Allegedly flights across the North Atlantic could get a lot bumpier in the future if the climate changes as scientists expect.

Planes are already encountering stronger winds, and could now face more turbulence, according to research led from Reading University, UK.

The study, published in Nature Climate Change, suggests that by mid-century passengers will be bounced around more frequently and more strongly.

The zone in the North Atlantic affected by turbulence could also increase.

Reading's Dr Paul Williams said comfort was not the only consideration; there were financial consequences of bumpier airspace as well.

"It's certainly plausible that if flights get diverted more to fly around turbulence rather than through it then the amount of fuel that needs to be burnt will increase," he told BBC News.

"Fuel costs money, which airlines have to pay, and ultimately it could of course be passengers buying their tickets who see the prices go up."

 

Ah the old more atmospheric movement the higher the ticket price ploy.....

 

Left to the Big Apple-ish

Pauli Marinaccio Sr. traces his fear of frogs to a childhood incident in Italy when a man holding bullfrogs chased him away after he'd wandered from the vineyard where his parents worked.

Decades later, he found himself describing his phobia to a jury, calling himself "a prisoner in my own home" after runoff water from a nearby development turned his 40-acre property into wetlands and inundated it with frogs.

"I am petrified. I go home at night and I can't get in my garage because of the frogs," Mr Marinaccio testified in 2009. "They're right in front of the damn door, OK?"

It was part of a seven-year legal fight involving Mr Marinaccio, the town of Clarence in upstate New York, and a developer that, according to The Buffalo News, finally ended last month when the state's highest court ruled that Mr Marinaccio, who was awarded $US1.6 million ($1.54 million) in compensation after the 2009 trial, is not entitled to an additional $250,000 in punitive damages.

You could have moved you twat.....

 

Quantum Entanglement

 

Quantum entanglement is a quantum mechanical phenomenon in which the quantum states of two or more objects have to be described with reference to each other, even though the individual objects may be spatially separated.

This leads to correlations between observable physical properties of the systems.

For example, it is possible to prepare two particles in a single quantum state such that when one is observed to be spin-up, the other one will always be observed to be spin-down and vice versa, this despite the fact that it is impossible to predict, according to quantum mechanics, which set of measurements will be observed.

As a result, measurements performed on one system seem to be instantaneously influencing other systems entangled with it.

But quantum entanglement does not enable the transmission of classical information faster than the speed of light. Quantum entanglement has applications in the emerging technologies of quantum computing and quantum cryptography, and has been used to realize quantum teleportation experimentally.

At the same time, it prompts some of the more philosophically oriented discussions concerning quantum theory.

The correlations predicted by quantum mechanics, and observed in experiment; reject the principle of local realism, which is that information about the state of a system should only be mediated by interactions in its immediate surroundings.

Different views of what is actually occurring in the process of quantum entanglement can be related to different interpretations of quantum mechanics.

 

So now you know.....

So that’s how his Maj does it.....

 

And finally:

 

East a bit to the land of Germanic stuff

Police in Germany are on the lookout for some thieves who made off with 5.5 tonnes of Nutella.

The jars of chocolate-y spread were in a parked trailer in the centre of the town of Bad Hersfeld, the U.K. Express said, citing a report Monday from German news agency dpa

The haul, taken some time over the weekend, is valued at approximately 15,000 Euros.

Police aren't sure how many culprits they are looking for, but it is believed the same thieves stole a truckload of Red Bull from the same location a few weeks ago, and then about $40,000 worth of coffee two weeks ago.

 

They are obviously going to open a breakfast bar....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to find out how we live

 

And today’s thought:

 

 

Angus

Easy time for Huhne: Taking the piss in Essex: Bloody great big goldfish: and the Ferrer-Doodle:

Positive numbers on the liquid metal gauge, negative atmospheric movement, not a drop of skywater (yet) and Dawn’s crack has taken a day orf at the Castle this morn.

A wondrous weekend, warmish, exceedingly sunny stuff and even the chance to have a sit in the garden and listen to the birds coughing, the butler is stocking up on fat, carbon neutral teenagers (just in case) and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from him/her upstairs knows where....

 

After being found “guilty” of perverting the course of justice

It seems that Chris Huhne still has friends in high-ish places, and is enjoying the aviary, three tennis courts, football and hockey pitches, a gym and fitness suite as well as ornamental gardens at the “Savoy of slammers” HMP Leyhill, Gloucester, where there is no perimeter fence and convicts have keys to their own rooms.

Apparently the prison’s canteen is stocked by fresh produce from the grounds, where inmates can do the gardening. Prisoners aged over 50 are also offered the chance to do “gentle” exercise such as Pilates.

Although Huhne was sentenced to for eight months in March after his former wife took speeding points on his behalf. He is likely to be released after serving just eight weeks. 

Probably come out and get a job with HBOS.....

 

Over to the only way place

Two Esso branded garages on opposite sides of the A127 in Essex, have a 3p variation on diesel, drivers heading towards Southend-on-sea are charged 139.9p a litre, while those going the other way towards London face forking out 142.9p.

And the money grabbing loot making monkey’s excuse-An Esso spokesman said: “We run a number of sites across the country. Some are company operated, some are operated by agencies. Prices are set on a site-by-site basis.”

Bollocks....

 

West to a wet place in Tahoe

Giant goldfish (some growing as big as 18 inches) are now breeding at a brisk pace in Lake Tahoe, California.

Apparently the reckless behaviour of "aquarium dumping" threatening local ecosystems, but at least the local sushi restaurants are doing well...




And finally on this no news Monday:

 

Dahn a bit to Argy bargy land

 

Gullible bargain hunters at Argentina's largest bazaar are forking out hundreds of dollars for what they think are gorgeous toy poodles, only to discover that their cute pooch is in fact a ferret pumped up on steroids.

One retired man from Catamarca, duped by the knock-down price for a pedigree dog, became suspicious he had bought what Argentineans call a 'Brazilian rat' and when he returned home took the 'dogs' to a vet for their vaccinations.

Imagine his surprise when his suspicious were confirmed - he had in fact purchased two ferrets that had been given steroids at birth to increase their size and then had some extra grooming to make their coats resemble a fluffy toy poodle.

LOL, LOL, LOL, I do like a bit of natural justice...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to check out “Jelly Chocolate” (just in case)

 

And today’s thought:

They told me it came from Longleat

 

 

Angus

Osborne -“up yours”: Fire breathing bridge: Gull wing Numpty: Hade’s hole: and a very, very big De Daw.

Many many minus numbers on the liquid metal gauge, layers of scrapey scrapey stuff, not even a whimsy of atmospheric movement and just a hint of dawn’s crack at the Castle this morn.

 

Son of a B....aronet and alien reptile in disguise

George (I’m not in it at all so fuck you) Osborne allegedly did not realise a car he was travelling in was parked in a disabled bay at a motorway service station-according to Aunty.

The Daily Mirror published a photograph of the chancellor getting into a Land Rover parked in the marked bay at Magor services on the M4 near Newport.

But a Treasury source said Mr Osborne had been dropped off to buy lunch.

The unmarked police Land Rover was not driven by the chancellor at any point, added the source.

The incident is understood to have taken place on Wednesday as the chancellor returned from a speaking engagement at a nursery in Cardiff.

The Treasury source told the BBC the chancellor had got into the car and left the scene without realising that it had been parked in the bay.

 

Knob head.....

 

East to the land of Vietnamese

Opened on March 29, the 38th anniversary of the liberation of Da Nang City, the 666 meter long, 37.5 meter wide bridge has six lanes for traffic and two pedestrian sidewalks. The steel arch bridge weighs up to 1,000 tons, making it the biggest in the whole world.

But that’s not all. The Dragon Bridge is outfitted with a modern lighting system that includes 15,000 Philips LED lights that make it brilliantly change colours. In addition, the dragon is capable of releasing bursts of fire or sprays of water from its mouth.
 

Rubbery, or should that be jubbery…..

 

Back over to the ruling country of what is left of Europe

A hapless mechanic is facing a £500,000 bill after pranging a customer's prized classic Mercedes sports car on an unofficial test drive.

The rare 1954 300SL sports car - with its distinctive gull wing doors - had been left at the garage in Pleidelsheim, Germany, for a routine service.

But mechanic Gilsroy Mansen, 26, couldn't resist taking it for a spin and lost control of the 220 bhp vehicle on a bend, say police.

Witnesses say the collector's car - capable of 161 mph - rolled over several times when Mansen skidded trying to overtake another car at high speed.

"To everyone's astonishment, not least the driver's, he walked away without a scratch, which is a testament to how well these old cars were built.

"The driver was more worried about what he was going to say to the owner than he was about himself," said one police crash investigator.

"But sadly the car is in a very sorry state, pretty much destroyed.

"Any ordinary vehicle would be a write off but because this is so rare this mechanic can expect a very large repair bill," they added.

 

Hope the Numpty has insurance.....

 

East to the land where Turkeys don’t come from

Allegedly archaeologists have unearthed the remnants of an ancient mythological cave, ominously described as being the ‘gate to hell.'

The team behind the dig located the portal recently in the ancient Phrygian city of Hierapolis –referred to as the entryway to Hell by Cicero and Greek geographer Strabo.

As the Greek philosopher explained in his writing, the entrance of the cave spews noxious vapours that kill anything in their path.

"Any animal that passes inside meets instant death," he wrote.

"I threw in sparrows and they immediately breathed their last and fell."
This space is full of a vapour so misty and dense that one can scarcely see the ground," he added.

Upon excavation of the site, archaeologists also found Ionic semi-columns that had inscriptions of dedication to the deities of the underworld, Pluto and Kore.

Priests, who would have been hallucinating under the influence of the fumes, would sacrifice bulls to Pluto by leading the animals into the toxic cave, before dragging them out dead, the archaeologist explained.

“We could see the cave’s lethal properties during the excavation,” D’Andria said.

“Several birds died as they tried to get close to the arm opening, instantly killed by the carbon dioxide fumes.”

 

And they blame us for global warming...

 

And finally:

 

East to the place where tea used to come from

 

Scientists have “discovered” a bloody great big venomous Tarantula which is apparently the size of a human face, its legs, which have unique daffodil-yellow markings, span a massive 20cm (eight inches). The arachnid also has a distinctive pink band around its body.

The new species was found in the war-torn north of the South Asian country by scientists from Sri Lanka's Biodiversity Education and Research (BER) organisation.

It has been named Poecilotheria rajaei, in recognition of a senior police officer called Michael Rajakumar Purajah, who guided the research team through a hazardous jungle overrun by civil unrest in order to seek out the spider.

 

I think you would need a roll of wallpaper to sort that one out....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to reboot the ‘Petaflop’ computer

 

And today’s thought:

Grand National Lasagne

 

Angus