Thursday, 7 April 2011

Raking it in from the jobless: Sodding Sobbing Cleggie: Down the drain: Satanic Hot Cross buns: Clean teeth-crashed car: Armenia off line: and Parrett poser.

Warm and sunny again at the Castle this morn, I didn’t get to the coast yestermorn, there was a stampede of desperate “users” needing a “fix”-to their computers, but I did manage to mow the lawn, and just to piss everyone off I am going to wash the windows later.

Given up with Japan and Libya, same old, same old, no end to either.


The woman appointed by David Cameron to help troubled families get off benefits and into work has a joint income with her husband estimated at more than £1.4m after building a business empire based on lucrative "welfare to work" contracts with government.
Emma Harrison, the chairman of A4e (Action for Employment), was celebrating another success that is likely to boost the company's profits, after it won five out of 40 new welfare contracts from the Department for Work and Pensions. The 40 contracts, worth an estimated £3bn-£5bn in total, are part of the coalition's new work programme, under which private companies will be paid by results for getting jobless people into work.
It emerged last week that another major player in the welfare to work industry, Serco, which has won two more contracts, had awarded its top executives bumper pay packets. Chris Hyman, Serco's chief executive, enjoyed an 18% rise to £1.86m, while Andrew Jennings, the finance director, received an increase of 7% to £948,295. The company's diverse range of contracts includes running several prisons, London's bicycle hire scheme and the Docklands Light Railway.

I will say it again-what work? But it is nice to see that the Coalition Millionaires club is looking after their own.


Nick Clegg has admitted that he feels like a "punch bag" in the face of public hostility towards him and that he "cries to music", in his latest toe-curling magazine interview.
Insisting that he is a human being with feelings, the Deputy Prime Minister said even his sons ask their “Papa” why he is hated by students following the row over tuition fees.
In words which will irritate No 10, he distanced himself from the Prime Minister, who he referred to as “Dave,” and insisted that, despite appearances, the two are not friendly.
He also admitted telling “white lies” to his family to explain his absences, adding that he was often "quite miserable" at the amount of time he was forced to spend away from them.

Now, let me think; why does everyone hate Nicky?…could it be that he is a rich, patronising, gutless, wimp who has thrown away his morals for the chance to be in power?


A 93-year-old woman was rescued after falling through a toilet seat at her Philadelphia apartment and getting stuck there for at least two days, the Philadelphia Inquirer reported yesterday.
The woman, who was not identified, was trapped in the bathroom for about two or three days before fire fighters pulled her out on Tuesday, fire chief William Dell said.
The woman was living alone in the Tioga Presbyterian Apartments, an independent-living building for senior citizens in the Tioga area of the city.
Dan Magee, spokesman for Presby's Inspired Life, the non profit organization that operates the building, said the apartment had an emergency cord in the bathroom to alert building staff.
However the woman never pulled the cord which was within her reach from the toilet, Magee said.
She was discovered by a representative from the Philadelphia Corporation on aging who made a scheduled check up on the woman and there was no answer. The representative called the apartment building manager who called the fire department.

Never fallen in but I have thought “why am I here” when standing in the bathroom.


A pizza company has caused outrage in New Zealand with billboards advertising hot cross buns accompanied by the slogan: "For a limited time. A bit like Jesus."
Instead of the traditional Christian cross, the buns bear an inverted pentagram, a design symbolic of Satanism.
The giant billboards, placed by the Hell Pizza Company, have been plastered around Auckland, the country's largest city.
Lloyd Ashton, a spokesman for New Zealand's Anglican Church, condemned the advertising campaign as disgraceful.
"It's disrespectful to what a lot of people hold very dear," he said.
Warren Powell, a director of the company, defended the campaign, saying: "I do not see how it could possibly be disrespectful to anyone's religion.
"We may bring them back next year, and everyone's saying that Jesus Christ is coming back one day," he told the New Zealand Herald.
Hell Pizza, which operates outlets around New Zealand as well as a handful of stores in London, is no stranger to controversy.
In 2008 the firm was forced to apologise to the family of the late Sir Edmund Hillary after a Halloween advertisement featured the skeletal remains of the Everest conqueror, along with those of the Queen Mother and the actor Heath Ledger, dancing on gravestones.

Offended? Simple answer-don’t buy them.


A New Zealand schoolteacher who crashed her car while brushing her teeth has landed herself in court.
Police officer Graham Single told the Blenheim district court, 272km north of Christchurch, that Cherie Margaret Davis, 65, set the cruise control of her car to 100km/h, "got out her toothbrush and started brushing her teeth".
Ms Davis subsequently lost concentration and crashed into a rock bank by the side of the road, the Marlborough Express reported today.
According to police, Ms Davis had a blood alcohol level almost twice the legal limit at the time of the March 19 crash.
Ms Davis admitted two charges of drunk driving, two of careless use and one of driving while prohibited.
Ms Davis, who will be sentenced in May, told the judge she had been upset at the time because her employment was affected by the Christchurch earthquake in February and she was having family problems.

But her pegs are shiny white.


Georgian police arrested a 75-year-old woman who single-handedly cut off internet connections in Georgia and neighbouring Armenia, the interior ministry in Tbilisi said.
The pensioner was digging for scrap metal when she hacked into a fibre-optic cable which runs through Georgia to Armenia, forcing many thousands of internet users in both countries offline for several hours on March 28.
"She found the cable while collecting scrap metal and cut it to with a view to stealing it," Georgian interior ministry spokesman Zura Gvenetadze said.
The woman who was arrested in the village of Ksani has been charged with damaging property and could face up to three years in prison if convicted.
"Taking into account her advancing years, she has been released pending the end of the investigation and subsequent trial," Mr Gvenetadze said.

BT doesn’t need scavengers to cut you off-all it takes is a bit of rain.

And finally:


Hundreds of locals flocked to Bridgewater after news spread that an “unidentified floating object” was found in the River Parrett.
The market town, which has a population of almost 34,000, was brought to a standstill after crowds gathered to catch a glimpse of the object.
Police were then called amid claims the object, which had washed up close to the town centre’s main thoroughfare bridge, was a dead body.
Within hours of the news being reported on the local newspaper’s website, the topic become one of the most discussed – or trended - issues on Twitter, the micro-blogging website.
Debate raged about whether the mystery object was something out of paranormal or something as simple as a dead turtle, pig or a dolphin.
Coral Pople told the town's local paper: “I’ve been here for 45 minutes. Everyone was saying it was a turtle – but it looks more like a pig to me.”
Andrew Coles added: “I think it was a pig or cow’s head. But I heard people saying ‘look, you can see a hand.’
"But I think it was just the animal’s ears flopping around.” The object has since disappeared without being identified.
A spokesman for Avon and Somerset Police confirmed officers attended the scene but dismissed suggestions of foul play.
"We were made aware of a large number of people looking into the river," he said, declining to comment further.
In 2009 a similar number of onlookers gathered at Town Bridge after a dead cow was spotted floating near the banks of the river.

And I thought it was dull Dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire…..


And today’s thought: Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny? ...

Angus

2 comments:

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CherryPie said...

In the case of an emergency, pull the cord! That is what is there for...