Fuelled off: Harry’s crack: Piss Poor Policies Dave C U-turns again: Enigmatic exhumation: 'Wonderfully rude' Craigievar Castle: and is the Big Apple an Onion?

Yet another wondrous day at the Castle this morn, mainly because I didn’t wash the windows yesterday, usual problem-broken computers, but I did splash out on a curry last eve which was very tasty and very hot and has left me with fluttering sphincter syndrome this Friday am, hence the lateness of this post-that’ll teach me.

Still looking for a classic car as a summer project, prices are very high at the moment and just to add to the difficulties the cost of petrol has wiped out the tax cut kindly given to us by that son of a B…..aronet George Osborne.

Drivers are now paying an average of 133.5 pence a litre for unleaded, the same price as it was on

March 21.

Diesel, meanwhile, has reached 140.13 pence a litre just 0.13 pence short of the record set on March 23.

With oil hovering around $120 a barrel on the world market, another three pence of prices are in the pipeline by the end of the month.

Meanwhile Adrian Tink of the RAC added. "The volatile oil market has meant that drivers have seen very little benefit from the duty cut. Prices are continuing to spiral upwards with no end in sight to the high prices.

"The Chancellor made a great deal about the 'Fair Fuel Stabiliser' but it's only stabilising government revenue – motorists are still going to be hit by the rising cost of fuel.”

Thanks George……

Up a lot to the melting thingy

It seems that Prince Harry is stranded by crack-s; all flights out of Borneo Ice Airfield - about 200 miles (320km) from the North Pole - have been cancelled while the runway is rebuilt.

The prince was due to fly home on Thursday, but Clarence House said it could be 48 hours before he can leave.

Expedition spokesman Alex Rayner said airfield crews were working round the clock to rebuild the runway.

"It is a feat of engineering to build a runway on what is effectively a floating piece of ice on the Arctic Ocean.

"We will continue to monitor the situation and hope to have Prince Harry back on dry land within the next 48 hours."

Ah… the old “cracks in the runway ploy”.

PPP Dave C is allegedly reconsidering the Coalition’s defence cuts in the light of the conflict in Libya.

He is “actively engaged” in a reassessment of Britain’s military capabilities and planned reductions in equipment and manpower, sources have disclosed.

The rethink has raised hopes that some of the cuts to military aircraft and ships in the Strategic Defence and Security Review (SDSR) could be postponed or even reversed. Insiders said it was not too late for a change of mind on the decision to cut the number of RAF Tornados and scrap surveillance planes. Some Royal Navy frigates could also be spared, or have their retirement delayed.

In the first sign of compromise on defence cuts, Mr Cameron has ordered the Treasury to give the Ministry of Defence a reprieve on its overspent 2011-12 budget. The £800 million climb down will spare the Armed Forces further cuts this year. Senior government figures admitted that the Libyan conflict has raised questions about the wisdom of cuts that will leave Britain facing a “dip” in its military capabilities for several years

Dave must be tired of changing direction by now-I know I am.

Over to the land of famous artists

Researchers will attempt to identify the woman who sat for Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, by digging up the remains of an Italian noblewoman.

Art historian Silvano Vinceti believes that by locating the remains of Lisa Gherardini, he can prove whether she was the artist's model.

A recently discovered death certificate suggests she died in 1542 and is interred in a convent in Florence.

The excavation will begin at Saint Orsola later this month.

The mystery behind the Mona Lisa and her enigmatic smile has baffled art experts for five-hundred years.

Bet she isn’t smiling now……

Back in historic Blighty

A waterspout at a castle has been described as "unexpected" and "wonderfully rude" by staff who has documented the property's gargoyles.

Believed to be a female fertility symbol, it was among stone carvings that decorated the upper walls of Craigievar Castle in Aberdeenshire.

The Royal Commission on the Ancient and Historical Monuments of Scotland (RCAHMS) made a study of the carvings.

Images taken of them have been uploaded onto the RCAHMS' website.

A book about the stonework and the study made during a major restoration of the National Trust for Scotland (NTS) property has also been published.

Records of the Craigievar carvings join data the RCAHMS has gathered on rock art, sculptures and also Pictish carvings found across Scotland.

Commission staff carried out its work at Craigievar in partnership with NTS between 2007 and 2009, recording the 17th Century carved cannons, waterspouts and gargoyles fixed to the castle's walls.

The waterspout listed as number 394 is thought to be a fertility symbol.

Spiffing…there are a few rude things at the Angus castle as well.

And finally:

New York battles over state vegetable

 A political battle is under way in New York – over whether the onion or the sweetcorn should be made the official state vegetable.

While New York counts the apple as its official fruit, the rose as its official flower and even the beaver as its official animal, a vacancy exists for the vegetable that best sums up the empire state.

A bill that would see the onion victorious has been proposed in the state senate by David Carlucci, an independent Democrat from Rockland County.

Mr Carlucci's constituency contains the "black dirt" region, which produces half of all onions consumed in New York. His bill states: "Onions are one of the most important vegetable crops in New York in terms of crop value".

Meanwhile Michael Nozzolio, a Republican from Seneca County, insists that the honour must be bestowed on the sweetcorn. He has quickly gained the support of several Republican colleagues.

So is the Big Apple an onion or a tin of sweetcorn? Send your choice Here.

That’s it: I’m orf to listen to the Sun.

And today’s thought: "A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist." - Franklin Jones

Angus