Robbing bastards: Boris for PM: NHS and PFI: Diplomatic Welshman: Deadly dumplings: and Spitting fire again.

Warm. Bright and calm at the Castle this morn, just got back from the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run from Tesco, and I nearly crashed the Honda, drove past the go juice repository and saw that the price of unleaded has gone up from £1.33.9 to £1.35.9 per litre since last week.

According to a “source” at Tesco they check their prices every week and “are always the cheapest in the area”.

Not true-see above. Anyone else really, really tired of being ripped orf by supermarkets, gas, Leccy, insurance and water companies? 

Time for the Piss Poor millionaires club Coalition to finally get orf their arses and sort these robbing bastards out, or better still have another general election...

I see that Boris Johnson has dropped his clearest hint yet that he harbours ambitions of exchanging London's City Hall for Downing Street as he left open the possibility of returning to Westminster as an MP.

And we think we are in trouble now....

Patient care is under threat at more than 60 NHS hospitals which are “on the brink of financial collapse” because of costly private finance initiative schemes, the Health Secretary will warn.

Andrew Lansley says he has been contacted by 22 health service trusts which claim their "clinical and financial stability" is being undermined by the costs of the contracts, which the Labour government used extensively to fund public sector projects.

The Daily Telegraph can disclose that the trusts in jeopardy include Barts and the London, Oxford Radcliffe, North Bristol, St Helens and Knowsley, and Portsmouth.

Between them the trusts run more than 60 hospitals which care for 12 million patients.

“Care” being the “operative” word.

Dahn Unda

A Welsh man who tried to claim international immunity when caught drunk in charge of a boat off Townsville instead ended up behind bars with police moving to prevent him from fleeing the country.

Nicholas Richard Smith, 50, was four times the legal limit when his vessel Rozinante cruised through the Breakwater Marina on Saturday.

But when police tried to arrest the Welshman over the matter, he told them they had no right because his boat was "British soil", making him immune to Queensland law.

But police were not convinced and Smith yesterday appeared in the dock in Townsville Magistrates Court charged with drink driving.

Smith was taken into custody until his court appearance yesterday morning to ensure he would show after he told police he would "skip the country".

Police prosecutor Constable Lisa Lindenmayer told the court officers stopped Smith for a random breath test but, after noticing he was visibly drunk, took him back to Townsville police station where he blew 0.205 per cent.

Defence barrister Mark Donnelly told the court his client had not been in trouble with the law at all since he arrived in Australia in 2004.

Mr Donnelly said while Smith admitted he had been drinking, he was "surprised" at the reading.

He said his client had worked all over the world as a civil engineer and was about to start a lucrative project manager position in Western Australia, so would be able to pay a fine.

Magistrate Peter Smid fined Smith $1500 and disqualified him from driving for nine months.

The magistrate made no order in relation to his boat licence.

Nine out of ten for Numptyism.

Back in what used to be the USSR

A 77-year-old Ukrainian man won a jar full of sour cream for coming first in a dumpling eating contest and then promptly died, local media reported on Wednesday.

Ivan Mendel ate 10 dumplings in half a minute to win first place and a one-litre jar of sour cream in the contest held in the town of Tokmak in the south-eastern Zaporizhya region on September 18, Fakty I Kommentarii newspaper said.

Shortly afterwards, Mendel became unwell and died, according to local news websites.

Dumplings, called "vareniki" in the former Soviet republic, are a staple of Ukrainian cuisine and are often stuffed with a range of fillings from mushrooms to cherries

Can you die “promptly”?

 And finally:

A Spitfire shot down 71 years ago has once again taken to the skies after being restored by a group of enthusiasts.

Following test flights in Duxford, Cambridge the P9374 is now the world's oldest surviving airworthy Mk1 Spitfire.

Rescued from the mud in northern France, the plane was downed on May 24, 1940.

Flight Officer Peter Cazenove, who was part of 92 Squadron, was at the controls when he drew fire from a German Messerschmitt 109.

 Good one-let’s hope it has better luck this time....

That’s it: I’m orf to put my tin hat on. 

And today’s thought: "Politicians and nappies have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."

Angus