Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Back to the gravy train: In or In?: Accidental outlaw: The Falcon and the Black widow: Flying cars: and Dundee they ain’t.


Massive amounts of wind and wet stuff at the Castle this morn-and the weather isn’t much better, did the Crimbo shopping yestermorn-one Crimbo dinner in a box, six mince pies and some custard, and I posted all the Crimbo cards-sorted.

There are still plenty of piss poor number crunchers in the study and his Maj thinks he is invisible.





A parliamentary committee is demanding changes to the way MPs' expenses are handled, saying the current independent method was "untenable".
According to the slimy, lying, money grabbing useless gits:
"We believe the status quo is untenable, for the following reasons: the administration of the system does not provide value for money; MPs are being hindered in carrying out their parliamentary duties and deterred from making legitimate claims, to the detriment of their constituents and the democratic process."
Instead they want to go back to the former system of paper receipts which operated at the time of the expenses scandal, with Ipsa official inputting the details into computer systems rather than MPs and their staff doing it.


I like the status quo, even if they can only play two chords....



He ruled out a referendum on British membership of the EU and said that membership brought significant economic and diplomatic benefits. “Britain remains a full member of the European Union,” the Prime Monster told the Commons. “The events of the last week do nothing to change that.”
He said membership was “vital to our national interest”, and the single market helped secure trade, investment and jobs.

Nice one knobhead; trade, investment and jobs are really getting better, and your “decision” made sure that there will be no referendum.


Apparently;


Potential crimes can include defamation in a Tweet or Facebook status, such as accusing someone of something they didn’t do or ruining their reputation without evidence.

Downloading music and movies illegally is another common pitfall while even simply changing the status on Facebook of a friend or family member without their permission is against the law.

The top five areas of concern found by the research were:

1) Uploading copyrighted content such as photos or song lyrics to a personal website or social network with just a 33% average pass rate.
2) Using copyrighted material on blogs (35%)
3) Discussing or publishing details of a super injunction (38%)
4) Defamation of other people through social media (42%)
5) Uploading and downloading of music illegally (44%)


Naughty, naughty.....



Mechanics stripping down a classic car imported from America were startled to find two deadly black widow spiders nesting inside.
One was discovered under the fuel tank while the other was lurking behind the dashboard of the 1964 Ford Falcon.
The car was imported into the UK to Damax, a motorsport company in Bicester, Oxfordshire, last January, but work only started on it last week.
Manager Robin Ward said after they found the first spider they put it in a plastic container before identifying it on the internet.
He admitted: “I had quite a shock when we first suspected it could be a black widow. We continued stripping the car with a great deal of caution, and couldn’t believe it when we found a second spider under the dashboard.” He added: “We would have never found either of the spiders had we not completely stripped the car but we’re certain there are no more.”
 

Yeah right....
 


 Latvian airline airBaltic announced Monday it was branching out into another business, claiming to be the world's first carrier to sell cars during its flights.
From Friday, passengers on all airBaltic flights will be able to buy a Mini Cooper R56 -- provided they have a spare 24,699 Euros ($33,048).
They will be asked to make a 50 euro ($67) down payment while in the air and complete the purchase once they land.


They should be done under the trades description act-it isn’t a Mini Cooper, it’s a bleedin BMW box.
 

And finally:



Two fishermen in far northern Australia are lucky to be alive after a crocodile tried to eat them for dinner.
The 10-foot (three-metre) saltwater croc lunged at the men but could not get at them because spindly mangroves were in the way at the creek on the outskirts of Darwin.
The men clambered up small trees to escape. But one of them slipped and plunged into the water.
Senior Sergeant Greg Pusterla said the angler got out of the creek and back up the tree in record time. One of the men had a cell phone and called police.
Officers raced to the scene and saw the croc lurking nearby. They rang Parks and Wildlife rangers who shot the animal because it was aggressive.


Of course it was aggressive it was a Croc-Darwin Numptys...




And today’s thought:





Angus

2 comments:

Bernard said...

Angus the frugal?
Did I read that right?
You haven't gone and bought your good-self a 'Christmas Dinner' readymeal, have you?
Can't you get the butler to stop feeding teenagers into the furnace and stick a wee Tesco turkey into the oven for you? I bet Oliver would love a bit of turkey thigh. :)
I got a Sainsburys frozen free-range birdie the other day. Bad news is that it was only rated 2/10 by the Daily Fail tasting panel.
Mind you - the DM is not exactly the font of good taste!

Angus said...

I did go for the "posh" one Bernard the Crimbo cook-turkey breast, roast tatties, sausages, stuffing, veggies and gravy.

The Butler will be buggering orf in few days for his Crimbo hols so I will have to feed the furnace myself.

I gave his Maj some chicken breast the other day and now he wants it all the time and refuses to eat his proper food unless I put Dreamies on it-how do you get 30 "servings" out of each bag?

Good luck with the twenty percent turkey, that'll teach you read the Flailing sail:)