Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Tax bounty: Big Blighty fish: Dive!-pedal-pedal-pedal: God on the go: Tiger shark nabs a snapper: and another Darwin Numpty.


Dull, damp, dingy, dodgy and dull at the Castle this morn, there is more than a whimsy of lack of warm stuff, and the roses have been ruined (again) by the skywater as “summer” returns.

A quick recap-The saga of the ‘Aga’ is finally over (I hope), “engineer” 1 managed to leave the test thingy screw loose which filled the kitchen with Norf sea gas every time the water heater do-dah fired up.
Several days later “engineer” 2 arrived, tightened said test thing do-dah and decided that “engineer” 1 had also missed the fact that the ‘board’ was on the verge of suicide and ordered another.
Several days later “engineer” 3 arrived with new board, fitted it and then broke the fan by pulling on a wire a smidge too hard and ripped it out of the motor, he then disappeared for an hour or so to obtain a new whirly thing, fitted it, tested the boiler and then buggered orf.


I now have nice hot water and keep going to the kitchen every time the water thingy fires up-just in case.

But my lovely young lady arrived and trimmed what is left of my hirsute-ish bonce.

And I won’t even mention the five ring circus happening in the Smoke.



And it is now seven years and one day since “M” was taken......



Allegedly the ‘Government’ has paid out more than £1 million in rewards for information on tax cheats since the start of the financial crisis, HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) handed over nearly £400,000 last year as part of little known “bounty payments” for reporting on tax evasion, according to figures obtained by the investigative website Exaro. The rewards rose by more than a fifth compared to the previous financial year.
The amount paid for information ranged from around £50 to tens of thousands of pounds, depending on how much tax is recouped as a result of the information provided.
One of the largest payments is believed to have been in 2008, when HMRC was said to have paid £100,000 to a former Liechtenstein banker for a list of secret offshore accounts held by Britons.
A spokesman for HMRC said that the cash is only handed out once any tax is recovered, a process that can take years.

 Didn’t know that...
 


A chef and keen angler from Essex has caught what is thought to be the largest freshwater fish - weighing more than 10 stone - to be landed in the UK.
James Jones, 31, of Southminster, caught the 144lb (65.3kg) Wels catfish at the Oak Lakes Fishery, Essex.
In Britain, before records were suspended in 2000, the largest catfish caught weighed just 62lb (28kg).
After weighing the fish it was returned to the lake.
Mr Jones, a chef at the White Hart in Burnham on Crouch, Essex, said when he realised what had taken his bait he "had to shout for help".


Bet that made some poo come out....
 


Terrified sailors dived for cover in Hamburg, Germany, when what looked like a full-scale U-Boat surfaced on the city's Alster River.
Local river police were scrambled after astonished river users dialled 999 to report the lifelike sub, created by pals Marc Aberle 46, Reinhard Crasemann, and Sven-Ole Kramer, both 45.
U-POOLY turned out to be a life-sized replica of a sub conning tower - attached to a pedalo.


Nice to see a bit of payback....



German artist Oliver Sturm has come up with a spiffing idea to help those who can’t get to the big buildings with crosses on-the Pray-O-Mat, a converted old photo booth that features 300 pre-recorded prayers and incantations in 65 different languages, and lets you get your blessing on the go.

Known as the “Gebetomat” in Germany, the “ingenious” device has been branded as a “Pray-O-Mat” for its transition to England, where it’s gotten quite a lot of attention since being installed at the University of Manchester, as part of a study into “multi faith spaces”.

You step into the photo booth and instead of having a bunch of passport photos taken, you insert a 50 eurocent coin and pick between 300 pre-recorded prayers and chants, via touch screen.

You can listen to five minutes of “Our Father” in several different languages; hear Aborigine Devotional songs and even prayers for rain from around the world. Most of the prayers were collected by Sturm himself, but some have been found in radio archives.

 

Oh Gord....




Shark expert Jim Abernethy was filming a shark documentary in the Bahamas when one of the sharks decided it didn't want a starring role ... and stole his $15,000 camera.

Abernethy had placed one of his cameras on the sea floor, while attending to something else, when one of the 14-foot tiger sharks swiped it and swam off.

Footage shot by another member of the "This is Your Ocean" team shows the moment the shark, known to the team as Emma, disappeared into the water.

After giving chase, Abernethy was able to retrieve his camera gear because Emma dropped it, not because he fought her for it.

 Sod that....


 And finally:


An Australian man has suffered severe and painful burns to his bottom after he placed a firework between his buttocks in a misconceived party trick.
The 23-year-old was at a party in Darwin in the Northern Territory when he set off the firecrackers.
Police said the man was admitted to hospital after the stunt backfired on Saturday.
"It appears that a party was in full progress when a young male decided to place a firework between the cheeks of his bottom and light it," local police spokesman Garry Smith said.
"What must have seemed to be a great idea at the time has obviously backfired and resulted in the male receiving quite severe and painful burns to his cheeks, back and private bits."
According to the Herald Sun newspaper paramedics were called to the house, although the man had taken himself to hospital by the time they arrived.
It is believed the reveller may have later been flown to the Royal Adelaide Hospital, which has a specialist burns unit.
It is illegal to let off fireworks in the Darwin area except on Territory Day on July 1 to celebrate the region becoming self-governing.
People face on the spot fines of 282 Australian dollars (£190) for possessing and discharging them at other times. 

Police added that alcohol may have been a factor. 

No shit-well probably loads of the stuff-Darwin Numpty...




And today’s thought:
Anyone got any Canesten Olympics....



Angus

5 comments:

Bernard said...

I was all ready to say that last picture brought a new meaning to the word -
'fly-spray'!
Then noticed it was a young lady. :)

Angus said...

You never know these days Bernard the observant:)

James Higham said...

But my lovely young lady arrived and trimmed what is left of my hirsute-ish bonce.


Oh to have a hirsute bonce.

Angus said...

I did say Hirsute-ish James:)

Corporate Gifts said...

Good post. i love it!!!!!