Mana~na, the daily Numpty, Do You EU? Don’t check the Pres and annoyed yet?

Yet another nice day, two in a row, which means either a thunderstorm or my brain will melt again.

Sitting at the G Workspace again, the RFBT is asleep upstairs so I can enjoy my cup of tea in peace.


First up:

Prognostication

Some Britons are so lazy they would rather watch a television programme they do not like than get out of their chair to change channels.

Nearly one in six people (15 per cent) said if their remote control was broken, they would continue watching the same channel rather than get up.

If those surveyed are typical of the wider population, it would mean around 7.3 million Britons are too lazy to walk a few steps to their television set.

Researchers questioned more than 2,000 adults for the not-for-profit healthcare organisation Nuffield Health and found more than half (59 per cent) would get the lift rather than climb two flights of stairs to their workplace.

A third (36 per cent) of those questioned said they would not run to catch a bus.

Of the 654 people with children, almost two-thirds (64 per cent) said they were too tired to play with them, leading the report to conclude it was "no wonder" one in six children are classified as obese before they start school according to Department of Health statistics.

Of the 456 dog owners quizzed, more than half (52 per cent) said they could not be bothered to walk their pet.

Three-quarters (73 per cent) of people said they regularly have too little energy at the end of the day for passion with their partner.

Dr Sarah Dauncey, medical director of Nuffield Health, said: "People need to get fitter, not just for their own sake, but for the sake of their families, friends and evidently their pets too.

"If we don't start to take control of this problem, a whole generation will become too unfit to perform even the most rudimentary of tasks.

"Ready-meals, remote controls and even internet shopping are all contributing to a dangerously lazy and idle Britain.

"The nation has fallen into a vicious circle of laziness that we must put a stop to."

The Nuffield Health Fitness Report included a top 10 of the laziest cities, based on how many people admitted they do not exercise at least three times a week.

Glasgow topped the table with 75 per cent, followed by Birmingham and Southampton (both 67 per cent), London (66 per cent), Bristol (64 per cent), Leeds and Newcastle (both 62 per cent), Norwich (60 per cent), Manchester (59 per cent) and Cardiff (58 per cent).


I’d comment but I can’t be bothered

Numpty backed bridge

A lorry became stuck on a narrow bridge in Cornwall for two days after following a police diversion.

The driver of the 44 tonne HGV found himself unable to move after getting stuck on Trenarth Bridge, near Port Navas.

The lorry, which was taking concrete slabs to Royal Naval Air Station, RNAS Culdrose, got stuck after the driver took a diversion through the lanes because of a road closure on the main Falmouth to Helston road.

The lorry blocked the back road for over two days but was finally moved on Wednesday, after another vehicle with a crane was sent.


Paul Mclean, from the Wolverhampton-based road haulier and distribution company, K Transport Services, who own the lorry, said that the driver said he was diverted by police.

"He was sent off the road by the police diversion," he said.

"The driver told us that he was told which way to go by the police.

"He carried on going that way and the road got narrower and narrower and he got stuck."
The unfortunate driver had to spend two days living in his "sleeper cab".



Gear change is as good as a rest.

What World Wide Web?

A third of citizens of the European Union have never used the Internet, and only 7 percent have shopped online in another member state, according a report released Tuesday by the EU.

A "digital competitiveness" report by the European Commission found that Europeans had made "strong progress" in becoming more digital during the last four years. By 2008, the report found, 56 percent of Europeans were regular Internet users, one third more than in 2004. Broadband connections were in half of households in the European Community and in more than 80 percent of business, according to the report.

Young people were the largest group of Internet users. Nearly three-quarters of people between the ages of 16 to 24 were digitally aware, more than twice that of the general population. The report said that two-thirds of all Europeans under 24, which the report referred to as "digital natives," use the Internet every day.

While proclaiming Europe to be "the world leader in broadband Internet," the report urged EU nations to eliminate electronic boundaries to the free flow of commerce online. "Pro-active policy making across the EU must ensure that everyone has a high-speed internet connection and that there is an online single market, where people can easily use online services across borders," the report said.

"Internet use will soar as Europe's "digital natives" begin their professional lives, increasingly shaping and dominating market trends. As traditional business models stall, companies will have to offer services attractive to the next generation of users, while legislators should create the right conditions to facilitate access to new online content while also ensuring remuneration for the creators," the report continued.


Don’t know why I posted that nobody will read it.

That'll teach em

Two police officers in Georgia have been suspended for running a background check on President Barack Obama, according to WSB Radio.

Ryan White and C.M. Route are on administrative leave without pay while the DeKalb County Police Department conducts an internal investigation.

The two officers allegedly used databases of the National Crime Information Centre and the Georgia Crime Information Centre on July 20 to perform the background check. The county began a probe after being informed by the Secret Service.


Ooops!



And finally:



How to win friends......






Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Name your dog "Dog."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

only type in lowercase.

Dont use any punctuation

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Sit in your front garden pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Muttering something about "psychological profiles."



Invite lots of people to other people's parties.




Angus

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE