Serious Seagulls in Suffolk, stunned pensioner, who moved Oxford, Potter off, and get a life

Weather OK, car radiator still in its shiny new box (sorry DD), and is it me but wasn’t the TV crap last night?

First up:

Clean up or cough up

The posh council down in Aldeburgh, Suffolk: Benjamin Britten’s stamping ground has decided that if you feed the seagulls you will be fined £2,500, because they have become a serious problem, seagulls that is not the Council.

They claim; the Council that is not the seagulls, that the area is 'under siege' from seagulls and hope the fine will deter people from offering them titbits, which encourages the birds to swoop down and steal food.

Many holidaymakers who visit picturesque Aldeburgh, famed for its shingle beach and fisherman's huts, have reported close shaves with attacking seagulls in scenes reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock's classic horror film The Birds.

The town also attracts thousands of people in June for the internationally renounced Aldeburgh Festival, started by Britten in 1948 to celebrate classical music, and councillors claim many of the visitors have complained of sleepless nights due to the raucous calls of the gulls.

And have put up signs-"Please do feed the gulls. Feeding encourages them to pester for food. It is also a littering offence. Maximum penalty – £2,500."

The same notice also states that anyone allowing a dog on the beach during the summer months could be fined a maximum of just £500.

However, the council insists that offenders will only face being taken to court if they refuse to pay an on-the-spot penalty of £80 which is reduced to £40 if paid within 14 days.

Viv Hotten, a Suffolk Coastal District Council spokesman, said: "The maximum fine might seem heavy-handed, but seagulls are a serious problem in Aldeburgh.

"There is a real issue with fish and chip papers left littering the seafront and the seagulls love to scavenge the chips and food scraps.

"They get so used to scavenging chips that they swoop down and annoy people trying to eat on the beach.

"We just hope the signs will be a deterrent and people will use their common sense and dispose of their fish and chip papers properly in the bins provided.


Do these people actually want visitors to come to their posh town?

Pensioner poleaxed by pineapple

Mary Raimo, a 76-year-old grandmother, is suing Tesco after she was allegedly hit on the back of the head by a falling pineapple.

The pensioner claims to have suffered severe neck pain and headaches since the incident happened in her local store in Lochee, Dundee, which has since closed down, and is demanding compensation.

"I was in the reduced section for the fruit, looking at some on the second shelf. Another lady was looking at the pineapples on the top shelf," she said.

""The next thing I knew - clunk - I got hit on the back of the head. I dropped my basket and staggered to the floor.

"My vision was blurred. I could not think straight. I sat there for a while and got my bearings. I didn't dare drive home, so I got them to phone my sister and come and pick me up."

A doctor later diagnosed concussion, but she claims she has been in pain since the incident happened a year ago.

"My neck is still sore," she told The Daily Mirror.

""When I'm driving I can't turn and see what is coming. It's a horrible feeling."

Alasdair Wannan, her lawyer, who is attempting to trace witnesses, said: "It is her position the shelf was poorly stacked. Tesco say it was another customer who knocked it off.

"We are not seeking massive damages, but we would be looking for £3,000 or £4,000 to compensate for Mary's injuries."

A Tesco spokeswoman said: "Customer safety is very important to us and we are looking into what happened, our best wishes are with the Mary Raimo for a speedy recovery.

"As this matter is in the hands of our insurance team, we're unable to comment further."

I can understand this happening, I have been hit by various items falling from shelves in Tesco, and items in difficult places to reach, I had to get some loo rolls yesterday and they were on the top shelf, with a pallet of foodstuffs in front and I had to climb on the pallet to reach them, add to that the endless supply of internet shopping robots that congregate at both ends of the aisles and cages of goods all over the place Tesco is an accident waiting to happen.

I thought they were supposed to be intelligent in Oxford

Oxford's airport has been rebranded as London Oxford Airport, the ninth to use the capital's name, despite it being nearly 60 miles from the city centre.

The Oxford Civic Society is a bit miffed; Ros Weatherall, said: "Good grief. Oxford is a great place in its own right and I find it insulting it is being considered just another offshoot of London.

"Trying to make Oxford seem like a suburb of London is very misleading.

"This is an insult to the major historical and cultural impact Oxford has had on the country."

The society's transport secretary David Townsend added: "It seems rather silly.

"Oxford isn't a London airport and we wouldn't want it to be.

"Anyone who wanted to go to London wouldn't want to end up in Kidlington.

"I find it amazing; Oxford is quite capable of standing on its own feet."

James Dillon Godfray, marketing manager at the site, hopes to bring in up to five more private business flights a day, on top of the existing daily total of 10.

"We're not meaning to insult Oxford or play down its history," he said.

"Oxford is probably the second best recognised city in the UK throughout the entire world but people just don't realise how close it is to London.

Err sorry Dillon but SIXTY MILES isn’t close, five miles is close, ten miles is “neighbouring”, twenty miles is distant and sixty miles is in another firkin galaxy.

Alien twit who?

A four hundred foot diameter crop circle of an owl has appeared in a field in Wiltshire, amid a theory that it is a tribute to Harry Potter's pet Hedwig.

The pattern, the latest in a string of bird-themed designs seen this summer, appeared overnight in a field in Woodborough Hill.

But while crop circle specialists are searching for a meaning, and some are convinced it is a tribute to the teenage wizard.

Steve Killick, a Harry Potter fan, said: "It is very exciting to think that there are fans of Harry from other galaxies.

"Most of the world has fallen in love with Harry Potter so it makes sense that most of the universe will do eventually too."

Numpty (well I Had to get one in somewhere)

And finally:

Phone book philistine

There is this guy from Philadelphia, US who has decided to waste his life carving “famous” faces from old phone books, He said: "Every year when the new phone book comes out you see just piles of the old ones lying around waiting for collection.

"I'm sure a lot of hard work goes into recycling them but there are thousands that go unused at all because most people just use the internet to find people these days.

"I was out looking for wood to make a sculpture one day and I noticed a huge pile of them on the pavement. I suddenly thought they would probably make a pretty good material for carving, so I gave it a go."

The resourceful artist now produces up to two new impressions every month and has been crafting his works for 14 years.

He begins by selecting his famous face and copies it by freehand sketching.

His drawing is then placed over the phone book as a template and he uses an artist's scalpel or basic razor blades to patiently slice away at the thousands of pages inside the famous book.

"It can be quite tense work sometimes because it takes a long time to finish and when you cut something away you can't get it back again.

"Nearing the end of the carving and then suddenly having it ruined by a careless cut can be pretty crushing. You have to start all over again."

Out of his huge repertoire of celebrity 'mugs', the part-time natural foods shop worker definitely has his favourites.

"Some celebrities have just got brilliant faces," he said. "People like John Goodman and Jack Nicholson are so instantly recognisable because they have these odd features that really stand out.

"It's those kind of people who work out better in the book."

Oh yes, his name is Alex Queral.

A pencil and paper is what I use.

Angus

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE